The Blog of Dabido (the Baka one). Everything in this blog is copyrighted. Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006 by D. Stevenson.

31 December, 2005

I'm Still Very Sad Today!

I'm still sad over recent events in the family. Woke up this morning, and before I was even allowed to have Breakfast, my mother had myself and my brother gardening, and chopping down bushes etc. Then, I got to have breakfast, and started again on the front room ... only, my brother has hurt his back, so I was havin to move heavy furniture on my own. I am so friggin' angry and sad over what's happening. Hammering those floorboards into place just gives me more time to think about it, and become angrier and stuff. It's all friggin' greed and all over the friggin' house and everything. All those friggin' b@$ta@rds worried they won't get the house, which my mother has adamantly always said she would leave to my youngest brother. So, it all comes down to them trying to take it away from mom and him. Why do people like this exist? Self centered friggin' B@$T@RD$!!!!! My fathers tried to take the house before - he's tried running my mother over (pretending it was an accident), he's tried turning up with a Real Estate Agent in order to try to sell it without my mother's permission (and leave her homeless) and all sorts of other CRAP. Now he wants me out of the equation, as I'm trying to help my mother ... and what do I get - if I am successful, nothing except the satisfaction that I helped my mother, and in the long run my youngest brother, (plus the wrath and loathin of my father and other siblings ... whcih i alreayd have anyway ... so nothin lost). If I fail, I'll probably have the wraith and hatred of my father and other siblings still ... but my mother will be homelss, my youngest brother too and I'll have a heap of crap to wade through, and possible debt from legal fees ... It must be something genetic in the family ... my father must have passed @r$3h013 genes down, and my other siblings got them, and I didn't. Once again I am the outsider fighting for friggin' justice ... I just hope I'm not installing these floor boards for my mother in order to have these @#$!!! take it all away from her. Oh well, I have to return to putting them in. I'm contemplating leavin Perth after I help save the house for my mother and youngest brother. I want nothing more to do with the rest of my siblings ... it's all friggin' crap and it's all friggin' designed to make the victims (my mother and youngest brother) look like they somehow deserved to have everything stolen from them ... and onvce again they'll try to make me look evil for protecting them ... that's the way it works around here ... attack and pretend the victim was asking for it. !!!!! I'm so friggin' sick of this family! Can't live with them ... not allowed to shoot them!

30 December, 2005

Year of Dog looks good for me.

Year of the Dog looks good for me. Both Career wise, and ROMANCE wise ... so, who wants me ... ??? lol Oh wait, not Year of Dog till End of January! lol

Your Career Outlook

2006 will be a fruitful year for you and your career prospects look very bright. If you are thinking of starting your own business, this will be an excellent year. Make sure you are well-prepared so that your chances of building a viable and successful business are high.

Regardless of whether you are running your own business or working as an employee, you should be wary of business scams. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. If you fall into such traps, it may cost you your career or your wealth. So be extra careful.

Improve on your interpersonal skills and be a better team player. Doing so will allow you to achieve your goals much faster.

Your Wealth Outlook

This is a great year for you to accumulate wealth and you should take the opportunity to make some financial investments or go into a business venture.

There is also the possibility of an unexpected windfall. It could be an inheritance; it could be the lottery.

Favourable months are May, September, December of 2006 and January 2007.

Your Health Outlook

Your health outlook is considered average this year. Make sure you see a doctor when you are not feeling well. Seeking treatment early is a wise move.

Make sure you drink moderately if you find yourself needing to socialize and entertain frequently. Avoid having too many late nights and make sure you get enough rest.

Take care of yourself well especially in the months of June, October and November as you are prone to illnesses.

Your Romance Outlook

A great year for romance whether you are single or attached. If you are single, you will have many opportunities to widen your social circle. You exude confidence and charisma, and people are attracted to you. Take your time to get to know people you are attracted to and do not rush into a relationship.

If you are already in a relationship, your relationship will grow from strength to strength. There is also the possibility of a newborn in the family so if you and your spouse are planning to have a child, this will be an opportune time.

The World is Full of SOBiatches!

Getting close to finding out what is actually happening with the possible litigation. As you know, the family is a fussin' and a feudin' over stuff at present (see previous RANT from Xmas day). Soem legal papers are being delivered on Tuesday, and my father spoke to my mother and told her NOT TO LET ME HELP HER - he didn't want me picking up the papers, he didn't want me paying for her solicitor. I don't know about you, but that smells of a BIG RAT somewhere. I'm the only one in my family with nothing to gain by helping my mother. If my mother wins, then my youngest brother gets the house when she dies. If my father wins and gets the house, then goodness knows where the house will end up - one thing for sure, I am not in my fathers will. It does look like my other siblings are lining up on his side in order to try to grab a share of the house ... can't believe the friggin' greed! Anyway, I might not be able to blog about it once all the legal crap starts. Not sure if I'll have time either. Anyway, I can see that my father has made moves to try to eliminate me completely from the exercise. One thing I have discovered, I cannot trust my younger brother, he's in it for himself. It's like the old family all over again. No wonder I was so happy when I had zero contact with them all ... I miss Sydney and being away from all the FRIGGIN' CRAP! No matter what happens in this family, they can still shock me with their pettiness and greed and friggin' jealous bullstuff! Anyway, next year will be an interesting year. No one to trust!!! Why am I still friggin' talking to these people!?!?!? Oh well, one thing my selfish family has taught me, the only person I can rely on is ME! The UK trip is starting to look good again ... funny, certain sibloings were happy when I was going to do that ... now that I stayed, they're a bit pissed off ... probably as I stayed to protect my mother ... always friggin' me with everything on the line while these selfish biatches fight over little friggin' bones. I am so over it all ... but so much crap to wade through thansk to their stupidity.

The Dabido Humour Standard

Said something and no one laughed? Said something and put your foot right in your mouth? Said something and it just came out so WRONG that you've been labeled the most uncaring B@$t@rd on the planet? What you need, is the Dabido Humour Standard Symbol. (Only $129.95) The above symbol shows that your comment was not only funny, but it reached such a standard of excellence that it was Dabido Humour Standard Compliant (DHSC). The reason others just didn't laugh, was it went over their heads. The reason it sounded WRONG was it was so cutting edge, that everyone else is behind the curve. The reason it came out uncaring or even downright EVIL, was because it was using reverse psychology. There are many reasons your comments were truely hilarious and no one understood - and the Dabido Humour Standard of Excellence Symbol proves this. The symbol proves you are cutting edge, have penetrating insight, have extremely incisive wit, true sardonic observational powers, piercing razor-sharp perceptions. It's not your fault everyone else in the world is a prat! Look for the symbol with the Tick that looks like a p3n!s on the emoticons head.

New Suanie Pictures

I did some more Suanie Pics last night. The first one probably wasn't too good. It was another ten minute job. I guess it was a warm up before the second one. The second one I took more time and care with. Even though there are some glaring mistakes in it that I easily see (like the graphite marks to the right of Suanie's mouth, and a few other things) I am hoping you may not notice them all. :-) I'm very happy with the end result. What do you think?

29 December, 2005

Hard Friggin' Life!!!

I'm not in a good mood at the moment. Other than getting a FRIGGIN' Earful from my mother in one of her 'David is so lazy' diatribes, I also had to put up with her 'My life was so hard' monologues and a 'Your life has been so easy' monologues. Earlier today I had to put up her 'Your asthma isn't as bad as your brothers', when she knows it is. Just all my life, whenever I've had an asthma attack, my parents always made out it was a friggin' panic attack or something. Always with some friggin' patronising comments. 'Oh, did someone say something nasty to you? Diddums' 'Oh, what's the matter? Didn't get your own way.' NO YOU FRIGGIN' IDIOTS! I CAN'T FRIGGIN' BREATH AND IT'S ASTHMA!!!! The 'David is so lazy' bit today was because she wanted me to work on the front room floor. Sometimes it is easy to translate. The 'My life has been hard, and your life has been a bed of roses' thing was because she wanted me to go buy her chips. Instead, I'm cooking her a pizza. The 'Your Brother's asthma is worse than yours' was because she started to complain about not sleeping well, and I, in turn was complaining about not being able to breath properly last night. My nasal passages had problems staying open. I recently swapped the Mouth Splint for a CPAP machine (basically it's a compressor with a nasal mask which puts pressurised air into me to make sure I don't stop breathing while I am asleep). Last night the machine wasn't keeping my nasal passages open, as my adnoids were really swollen from an allergic reaction ... so I had to breath through my mouth ... so, the price of trying to explain why I was so tired today, and had such a bad sleep last night, was to have my mother tease me and make out my health problems are just my imagination and not serious. People wonder why I have so many FRIGGIN' problems with my family. No matter WHAT happens to me, they always pretend my life is a walk in the park ... and no matter what I do, it's apparently really easy and any idiot can do it ... which is why my 'A' grades at school were never as good as my elder brother's 'C' grades! I get so sick of it. No wonder I always want to move back to Sydney. ANYWAY! It's a new year soon. I'm going to start going to Japanese Conversational classes on Thursday nights - so should meet some nice Japanese girls ... hopefully the business will do well, and I will earn enough to move into my own home. (Like, I am planning to stay here till I can afford to OWN a house, not just move out and rent a place). I'm also planning on entering the Archibald Prize. Australia's Premier portrait prize competition. I doubt I'll win, as it is likethe Creme d'la creme of prizes. But, will be nice to enter, and if lucky get the painting hung ... we'll see how it goes. :-) Of course, it might mean putting up with more ridicule from the friggin' family ... and if I get my painting hung or something, then it'll be deemed something any idiot could have done ... I should have some novels ready in the new year too ... let's get them published. Then, back to working on the music. So much to do ... so little time ... so much FRIGGIN' ridicule to wade through from the family!!!

Static Site Has Moved

My old University Site has now been moved to Geocities. Full of drawings, three or four paintings, a small Bio of my bands and not much else really. Will update it, and am considering sticking some MP3's of someold crappy recordings of mine there eventually. [Plus maybe more drawings and other crap] Will eventually get the writing page to point back here, and might even include things like 'Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars' and stuff in one easily downloadable file or something. I'll see where it takes me.


My Sister and Brother-in-law were over today. They installed a light fixture for my mother, which was nice of them. They bought the light fixture for mum for Xmas. I'm glad they selected something which didn't have anything to do with the floors, because as you remember, they offered to do the floorboards when I'd already told them I was doing them etc. Anyway, there is still tiling in the Kitchen and Laundry to do, plus other things. My brother Jeff and I are going to take some of the doors off their hinges and paint them properly and everything too. I received a phone call today, basically for a job as a Network Analyst for the Dept of Planning and Infrastructure. It'll have less earning potential tham my business, but I am slightly tempted. Working as a public servant has it's advantages. I could still run my own business at the same time, plus work on the art / writing / music etc. I hate always havin too many options, and then someone throws another carrot towards me! [Which reminds me of a joke - what's invisible and smells like carrot? Bunny farts!!! Don't you love me even more after telling that one! :-)] Well, I heard that joke off one of my Nephews (and in returned I asked him this joke - 'What's brown and smells like Banana? Monkey Vomit! Bwahahahaaa!')
I was actually sitting here reading FStress site, when two of my nephews came over [They can't read yet, so I didn't navigate away from her page] and one pointed at the Ladybugs on FStress site and said, 'Elephants!'
That cracked me up! FStress Ladybugs are elephants!!!! Bwahahahaaaa! I know I like to joke around on FStress site and stuff, making suggestions she chose me as her next BF (and so do a lot of other guys) ... but a lot of guys are starting to make suggestions that she go with it .. admittedly in jest ... probably because I annoy the F*** out of her (and we don't want that, as there'll be no F*** in F***Stress ... OMGoodness!) Still, it's funny to have their support (or mock support - or both) :-) Which brings me to a David Letterman Top Ten list (except it won't be funny) I just thought of doing: Top Ten Reasons FStress and I will never go out:
  1. I play too many musical instruments (Fstress has said she wants a guy who plays TEN instruments! Darn my talent)
  2. She is afraid I might kill her if I roll over during the night. (Darn my Fatness)
  3. I'm afraid she might kill me ... anytime of day or night. (Darn her Temper)
  4. She wants a guy who sings like an angel - I sing like an angel, but it's the angel of "death caused through suicide to stop them from having to listen to my carcophony".
  5. She's too short for me. (See point 3 - that point will get me killed)
  6. She wants someone with an ENGLISH ACCENT - I can fake an English Accent, but how long can I keep it up before I start with the funny Monty Python type voices.
  7. She has made ZERO attempt to rip through the Teflon suit ... so she isn't even trying. Ptttthhh!
  8. I have made no attempt to rip through her Teflon Suit (which she apparently has now ... bloody jaded biatch! ... see point 3 - that'll get me killed!)
  9. I'm waiting for my perfect Japanese Soul mate to appear- which will probably never happen
  10. She's waiting for her perfect English GuySoul Mate to appear - which will probably never happen.
The top point though - Her Lady Bugs look like ELEPHANTS! Bwahahahahahaaaa! Admittedly, two trunked conjoined twin elephants! [See point 3 - That'll get me killed] :-)

28 December, 2005

Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars Fourteen (The Manga with Chocolate Chips included!)

'Uhuh! Uhuh! James? I think I'm hungry again. Uhuh! Uhuh!' Said George. James looked up from a newspaper he was reading He had found it in the rubbish. 'Well, we are growing rather large George. I have that craving for Misu soup again. We need to capture a human who can cook for us. We also need to find somewhere close to the elixir maker in order to make sure nothing bad happens to him.' 'Uhuh! Uhuh! Maybe, we can find an unused apartment in their building. Uhuh! Uhuh!' 'Good thinking George. Or better yet, we'll find an apartment where someone is always resident, that way, they can become our cook, and we get to live there.' George looked across the street at the apartment building. Both he and James were on the top of the building opposite the street. He had been keeping a careful eye on the comings and goings of the residents. He'd seen Arlo enter. He had also seen the two Vampires climb the outside of the building. It didn't occur to George that this was unusual behaviour for humans. 'Uhuh! Uhuh! Maybe, once we take over the apartment, we can take over the entire block. Then, the city, then the world. Uhuh! Uhuh!' 'That was precisely my thinking Georgie boy. With our new increased intelligence, opposable thumbs, and ability to take in information at an alarming rate, I was thinking, tonight, we do Ninja training.' 'Uhuh! Uhuh! Fantastic James! Uhuh! Uhuh!' 'What is the status on the surveillance George my boy?' 'Uhuh! Uhuh! That strange lady from the top floor has just arrived back. All her neck is bandaged up and she looks really tired. She is going up to the top floor. Arlo still hasn't left. Those climbing girls are still in the elixir's apartment. The elixir and his friend are still in there with Arlo. I think Arlo is trying to get them to make some more. The fat guy on the second floor is still lying naked on the balcony. The man who wears a dress is now in a suit and going down the stairs. The lady on the second floor, well, she's watching television. Uhuh! Uhuh!' 'Brilliant! I think our best target, is the lady on the top floor. Time for operation Daylight Forward Assault, Roof Top Leap!' 'Uhuh! Uhuh!' George and James had planned it the night before. They had set up what they needed, and everything was in place. George flicked a switch on his little remote control. Smoke canisters fired and purple smoke began issuing from the roof to hide what they were up to. A robotic arm flung another smoke cannister across the street onto the opposite roof top. Another robotic arm, hidden in the lawn outside Deib's apartment threw a smoke cannister into his apartment through one of the unbroken windows. Deib's apartment began to fill with purple smoke. George and James, already attired in combat fatigues, now donned plastic helmets and parachutes. They stood on a little platform. 'Pull, George!' cried James. George flicked a switch. The platform thrust them upwards and across the street. Of course, amongst all the purple smoke, it was difficult for anyone to see the two hamsters as they caused two purple smoke streaks across the sky. As they were passing the top of Deib's building, they pulled their rip chords and their parachutes opened. They floated down, landing them directly in the middle of the roof. James ripped his chute off, and raced for the door to the apartments. George ripped his off and ran to the side of the building. He clipped himself onto an abseiling rope and descended onto Tanaka San's balcony. Tanaka san, who had only recently arrived at the front of her apartment, had just opened the door, when a rather large hamster, the size of a corgi, arrived at the door, and pushed her into the apartment. To her shock, there was another one waiting for her inside, that had come in through the balcony door. After the vampire attack from the previous night, Tanaka san's mental state was rather fragile, and she promptly fainted. Not wanting to take a risk, and sticking to their plan, George promptly injected her with a needle to keep her asleep and took her keys. He and James raced out the door, and down the stairs. They got to the front of Deib's apartment and George started to try Tanaka San's keys. She was the landlady, so he knew one of them must fit. One of them did. He opened the door, and purple smoke billowed out of the doorway. George quickly entered followed by James. No sooner had they entered, than George came flying out and smashed into the wall knocking him unconscious. James followed and the two hamsters lay their motionless. 'Mel, why did you kick the doggy?' 'You kicked one too Meg.' 'Only after I saw you kick the first one.' 'Isn't it obvious that when someone smashes a window, chucks smoke into your apartment and races in, that they are trying to steal something?' 'Um ... maybe. Why did you kick the doggy?' 'It's an intruder! Someone is sending vicious attack dogs to kill Deib's and Niku. Let's check the basement for them and make sure they are alright.' 'What will we do with the doggies?' 'Leave them Meg, they'll hopefully come too and run off. I've been programmed not to hurt dumb animals if I can help it.' 'Okay, but I think we need to shut the door.' 'Good idea Meg.' Meg shut the door, leaving George and James lying in the hall. To any passers-by they would just look like two normal small dogs, that some cruel owner had dressed up in Army Uniforms.

27 December, 2005

Autobiography of The King

As a lot of you know, I have a lot of connections with all sorts of interesting people. One of them, just happened to be an uncle of mine, who was decended from giants apes on my fathers side. Well, apparently, one of his giant ape grandfathers had a trip to the US back in the 1930's, and I just happened to grab a copy of the guys Autobiography. It's very interesting reading and comes with some snap shots. Uncle Kong's Diary: Well, there I was one day, just walking along, minding my own business. Went to the usual place for dinner, that place by the big wall where all those little people live. Normally I find something delisciously meaty tied up outside the wall waiting for me, but what friggin' happens? This: That's right, they left some boney looking thing for me. Do you call that a meal? That's not even a snack! Well, maybe her breasts looked nice and tender, but the rest of her was just not enough to make a meal. Well, I thought, I'll go find a MacDonalds on the island somewhere. Those things are everywhere. So, not wanting to seem ungracious, I took the entree with me and went in search of a good restaurant. As I'm going along, what happens? This whinging T-Rex from a neighbouring island comes at me, crying about being picked on by some friggin' raptors and some other humans. Well, I just hate the way it was friggin' whining, so I beat the friggin' thing into a pulp. Of course, I know they taste a lot like chicken, so I'm like thinking, I'll get the entree to fry some of it up for me, a bit of garnish on the side, a primavera sauce or something, voila! Dinner, in less than five minutes. They should sell it in packets. T-Rex cup a soup with noodles. Now there's a dinner! Well, I kill the thing, when all of a sudden a heap of friggin' humans comes and attacks me. I'm like thinking, they must be more hungry than me. So, in all the confusion, I'm driven from the T-Rex dinner, I lose the entree, and I didn't get to eat any of the attacking humans. Well, I think to myself, I'm still friggin' hungry, and I just remembered, it's the bloody nineteen thirties, ain't it. No friggin' MacDonalds invented yet. I slap myself in the forehead! Call myself a great ape! I'm a friggin' idiot! Well, I hear them back at the usual dinner spot, so I'm thinking, 'Okay, they've taken the entree back as it wasn't enough. The matre d' has obviously exchanged it for a bigger meal.' I head back there expecting to see something meatier. But NO! It's the friggin' entree tied up again. Okay, I'll eat your friggin' entree in front of you to stop you pestering me. Obviously I offended them somehow! So, I head over, and what happens, they have a friggin' trap set. They knock me out and capture me. I wake up, and I'm like thinking, what is this? Let me guess, I'm gonna wake up, there's a note next to me saying, 'Ring this number if you want to live' and I find they've stolen my kidney's! But, NO! I wake up, and I'm on a friggin' boat. I still haven't eaten mind you. Well, we're going along on the voyage, and that entree comes to visit me. I give her the finger, but none of them understand Gorilla sign language, so they think I'm being friendly. They get me back to New York City. Now, I don't mind America, but I would ahve prefered a friggin' visa and green card so that I could at least work as a taxi driver. How am I supposed to feed myself without a job? Well, I'm chained up on a friggin' stage. It's been DAYS. By this stage I NEED TO PEE!! And I NEED TO PEE NOW!!! Well, I hear a bit of a commotion, and the curtains pull back! OH NO! My worst fear has been realised! There's all these friggin' cameramen and everything. All this time, I've been on one of those Friggin' reality TV shows! OMFG!!!!! [Oh my friggin' goodness]. Well, I think to myself, there is a law suit in this! Not only am I gonna sue, I'm gonna eat every last one of you friggin' b@$ta@rds! Especially Jack Black and Peter Jackson, as they look like they have some meat on their bones. So, I rip the chains off ... I'm trying to find a friggin' toilet and a MacDonalds sort of restaurant ... and I'm horny too, so I'm looking for some New York hookers to get my rocks off with. Well, I end up catching the entree again! What a friggin' co-incidence!!! So I take her thinking, she must know somewhere to eat. But, she still doesn't understand what I'm askin' for. Well, I climbed to the top of some tall building, and I'm like thinking I should be able to see if there is a toilet or MacDonalds style restaurant somewhere close. I start catching what I think are giant mosquitoes. But what happens! No meat on these things either, they're friggin' made of canvas and wood and metal. Well, I'll sign off now. I really have to pee. If I don't go soon, it'll be the death of me.
His diary was sent back home afterward. Apparently, he was the victim of some random fly by shooting or something. Or so the death certificate said. We think it might have been planned, and heard rumours the US airforce had something to do with it. Probably another Roswell type cover up involved. We assume he found a toilet and ate. After all, he must have made an impression on the hookers in New York, as we often here the American's using the Phrase 'Hung Like King Kong', so at least we know he got his rocks off before the shooting. Poor Uncle Kong. At least he got to see New York City.
All images stolen from this site. :-)

26 December, 2005

Suanie Pictures

At about 2 AM last night, I decided to do the Miss Suanie pictures. They took me about ten minutes to draw each - so hopefully Suanie won't be too upset with them if they don't look photo realistic or something. It was late - but I was in the mood to draw - so here they are: 1. Suanie blindfolded. one of my favourite Suanie photos - so I decided to draw it first ... 2. Another of my Favourite Suanie photo's, so I decided to draw it second. I like this one best out of the three Suanie pictures I drew ... 3. Last, the Suanie THUMBS up award. The more I tried to improve this one, the more I lost ... I lost her smile somewhere along the way ... waaah! Apologies Suan, it looked good before I started playin with it ... and then it looked sort of .. well, like this. So, I hope Miss Suanie likes them. I did them on A4 Artist paper (you know, that nice thick paper you get from Art Stores ... yeah, that stuff) ... I thought doing it on A4 would make it nice and easy to scan, but the scanned pics looked really bad ... some of the graphite got lost along the way ... so you couldn't see the pics properly. I then stole my bro, Jeff's digital camera and took the photo's above, which is why the pictures aren't 100% straight and have a few darkened corners etc. Tell me what you think. :-) Any more volunteers????? Hee heee! All these pics were done from Photo's off Miss Suanie's site. You can go look for them to compare.

I'm Better Now - dont' send the men in the white coats ... yet.

My apologies about yesterday. Was just very angry by what happened. Good thing is, that after a good nights sleep, (actually, restless ones), my mother has calmed down, I've calmed down (a little) and we're all waiting for the next move and the lawyers and everything. There is a part of my mind which is just 100% on the defensive ... waiting ... waiting ... waiting for something to happen ... well, waiting for what happens next. Always good to get the emotion out the way, ready for the fight. Anyway, my mother is still sure that it's going to be impossible for my father to steal the house from her. We'll wait and see. Doesn't matter. Anyway, started on the front room today (ie, putting in the floor boards), because my mother decided I should start there. I didn't want to start putting the floor in, as I wanted to do my bedroom first ... in fact, we don't have all the floorboards and underlay etc for the front room - it would have fit in my bedroom - now, I'm going to get part the way through (actually, only about one and a half metres in), and we'll run out of material - so I am going to buy some more on Wednesday. Today, I didn't start the cutting the floorboards yet, I just put down the first 1.5 metres of plastic and underlay ... as well as clearing that part of the room. When we did the rest of the house, my mother was in hospital, so we had enough room to move things inot rooms that weren't being used. My mother has forbidden that, so I've rearranged the house a little and moved two of my book cases into the hall, as well as moving a couple of large piles of plasitc tubs into the lounge room - everything else is still in the front room, and I have to move it onto the new floorboards (once put down) in order to progress to the second bit. I can see it's going to be a slow tedious process for one person ... darn it! I missed a CELLO on Ebay at a price I was willing to PAY! Waaaah! Silly me for logging on too late today! Waaaah! Oh well ... I'll wait for the next one. My mother says I'm not allowed to buy drums ... oh well, no room for them anyway! Bwahahaaa!

A Little About Drug Rehab.

READ TONIGHTS EARLIER POST BEFORE THISONE TO GET AN IDEA OF WHAT I AM ANGRY ABOUT!!! Seems I'm on a downer, I might as well tell you some stuff about when I used to do Drug Rehab. The main reason I was thinking about this, was I was real angry at what happened today concernign my mother's house and stuff - and now I've come over sad - not sure what the seven stages of accepting CRAP is ... but, I'm up to the SAD bit. ANYWOT ... I was feeling how trying to help my family all my life has been such a fucking long sad thankless task ... something my mother also complains about ... and let's face it, when one of your own sons tries to hand over your house to an arsehole you divorced years ago - and that son only got through University because you bought him a car and let him live at home till he could afford hsi own home .. and now he's FUCKING turfing you out on your BUTT without a anything ... you can see why she's (and I are fucking angry a bit ... anyway, hasn't happened yet, and will only happen after a FUCKING FIGHT from me! BUT ... I as thinking about Drug rehab again, as I came over all fuckin sad because of what happened tonight, and it was very similar to how I used to feel when I was doing Drug Rehab in Kings Cross, Sydney. I used to come off the streets feeling drained, feeling like I'd helped no one, feeling like I was beatin my fucking head against a BIG FUCKING brick wall. First of all, ther are the DRUG DEALERS! They don't fucking want you there helping people, because they lose money if you get their clients off their drugs. So THEY HATE YOU! Then, there are the DRUG USERS themselves. They don't think they have a problem. They're up at the fucking WALL in Sydney giving head jobs to men, while at the same time trying to prove what a 'mucho heterosexual' they are - well, they hate you as well, partly because you scare off their customers, and partly because, well, you're annoying to them ... and partly because, well, they don't think they have a problem. You try to be friendly to them, not hassle them, not get in their face, but at the same time try to explain, that if they ever NEED help, you are there ... and they FUCKING HATE YOU FOR IT! Then, you go to your day job (and your fucking tired after spending the night on the fuckin' street trying to find peopel to help) and the peopel at work FUCKIN' HATE YOU, because they expect you to donate to some FUCKING pet charity they have, 'Pink Bows for Bunnies' or som fucking thing (or a good charity like curing Cancer or something), and you explain to them that all your money has gone towards helping get peopel off drugs - and they tell you off, and yell at you and give you some long winded explainatin, that if someone has got adicted to drugs, you should FUCKING LET THEM DIE! OR HELP THEM OVERDOES OR SOME FUCKING CRAP (I think I've gone from being sad to being angry again! FUCK!) Anyway - you try to explain to them that, just because someone has made a mistake, (by trying to REMOVE/AVOID pain with drug use), doesn't mean you should fucking abandon them. If you made a mistake, you'd want someone to be there to help you once you realise you'd made a mistake and need help. It's like you've dug yourself into a friggin' big hole, and you just need someone to throw you a rope or lower a ladder to help you out of the hole. At the end of the day, it's still the person down the hole who has to do the climbing out, or the climbing the ladder bit ... you're just giving thme a hand. Then the FUCKING person from work tells you that those people should be BURIED IN THEIR FRIGGIN HOLE! And you think, Like FUCK, where is the compassion today? Why do so many people only think about themselves? Even those collection FUCKING CHARITY MONEY seem to thnk putting FUCKING PINK RIBBONS ON RABBITS or some fucking thing is more important that a perfectly good human being! And so you make another ENEMY, simply because you are trying to do the FUCKING RIGHT THING BY SOMEONE WHO NEEDS A LITTEL HELP! Well, today really FUCKIN PISSED ME OFF with everything - my mother was also pissed off by the fact that my SISTER and BROTHER IN-LAW suggested she go to an OLD PERSONS VILLAGE. That has my mother believing my sister might actually be in the 'STEAL THE HOUSE FROM MUM' conspiracy!!! Anyway, that's why I came over all sad I think - because once again i feel like I am fighing a fucking battle that no one wants me to win - and once again, I'm the one fucking puttin my all on the line to fucking make the world a better fucking place - and I fucking hate this world! It's a weird love hate relationship! I want the best for all people - but then these fuckin WANKERS COME ALONG who ONLY think about themselves, and they fuckin' try to make you feel small about trying to help others - and yeah, sometimes no matter what you do, you can't help them ... but sometimes you can! And we came home today, and my mother ansd brother were all upset and yellin at each other and then both went to their rooms in bad moods - and they're not even angry at each other, they're fucking angry at my other brother, and my father and stuff - and I've spent Xmas night alone in the lounge room, contemplating what I can fucking do to help my mother concerning this ... and it might take a lot of effort and money and in the end, I might still lose ... why do I always seem to be on the fucking losing end of a battle I can never fucking win!!!! I'm so fucking PISSED OFF BY IT ALL! Life would be so much easier if their wasn't these self serving ARSEHOLES in this world who make fucking excuses up to justify their greed and FUCKING PETTY JEALOUSY!!! Sorry - I just have to rant a bit and vent my frustrations. I don't want to be like my mother and brother and yell at each toher, when they're actualyl angry at other people. But don't worry, not angry at you guys ... just angry at the world and injustice and everything else. Besides, nothing bad has happened yet - just the thought that some people are trying to make bad things happen pisses me off. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

25 December, 2005

Christmas Day Lunch

We all went over to my sisters for Xmas day lunch. Was sort of good - my family always have a way of turning any happy occassion into something controversial. This year it was my younger brother (Paul) possibly handing my mother's house over to my father. If what I think is happening, we may be in for a very long ugly law suit with the possiblity of my mother losing the house, and my mother, youngest brother (Jeffrey) and myself being homeless. (Well, hopefully not for long) ... but, point is, my mother is feeling very betrayed, my youngest brother is scared beyond belief and I'm just worried that in order to keep the house, she's going to have to employ some expensive lawyers, from which the cost will probably be the same as the house anyway. It might turn really FRIGGIN' Ugly ... and as per usual, the person expected to bail everyone out is going to be me. I feel like I'm in the middle of some weird twisted version of King Lear. My brother Paul insists nothing bad is going to come from it all, but I've heard those words before. We'll see what happens. I can only see a FRIGGIN' disaster looming, and I hate it when people f*ckin' backstab you and then try to make out they're all innocent. If this goes sour in any way, he'll be the fourth member of my family I'll disown ... and if we find out my sister is in co-hoots, then there may be a fourth ... yeah, I'm running out of family ... but, hard to explain, you'd have to have lived it, with certain members of my family being driven by MONEY and what they can get rather than caring for each other and actually supporting each other. Actually, I've never had much support from my family anyway. There is a part of me that regrets EVER leavin Sydney to come to this hell hole. And part of the 'HELL' bit is the f*ckin' family politics and petty jealousies and crap I have to put up with. In a way, if it is a f*ckin' attempt to steal my mtoher's house, then I'm f*ckin' glad I've returned in order to help protect her. My mother's been throguh enough CRAP form my father and Eldest brother without the need for my father and younger brother to try this SH!T on her again!!! When I was in Sydney, I used to talk to my father for a short time (only because the WIFE at the time made me), and all he talked about was stealing the F*CKIN house from my mother so he could buy himself a F*CKin' YACHT ... and my brother Paul has given over information concerning the house to my father (informatin off the official papers etc), and assures us my father has only GOOD intensions! [LIKE F*CK! We're talking about a guy who ha spent most of his life trying to leave my mother penniless and destitute, walked out on the family I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY F*CKIN' TIMES - threw me out of home, tried to sign my YOUNGEST BROTHER up in the merchant navy - tried to get my youngest brother committed - tells people I'm gay -tells peopel my mother is MAD and FUCK KNOWS WHAT FUCKING ELSE!!!!!] Sorry, a bit pee'd off! Anyway, my mother is fucking Freaking out, as the house she saved up the deposit for, and also fuckin had to work in a factory in order to pay off might be gettin fucking stolen from under her! So, I'm basically getting my money a little liquid just in case I need to hire bloody lawyers in order to keep a roof over my mothers head. Life jsut isn't fair, when the rich fucking arseholes of the world can just walk in and take your life over and take whatever you own! Anyway, if worse comes to worst, I'll fuck off from this fucking country and go back to the UK, and if I'm the only person willing to take care of my mother and youngest brother, then I'll take them with me too. But I'm also willing to fucking make it expensive for them to try to steal the house from my mother! I won't leave for the UK till the fight is over! Anyway, tomorrow is a public holiday and my mother will be calling a lawyer on Tuesday. We'll see what happens. It certainly ruined Xmas for my mother and youngest brother and I'm not in the best of moods either. And as my mother says, it was TIMED RIGHT when she had major fucking surgury!!! As she says, they like to try to hit her when she's weakest! ANYWAY ... nto to ruin your night or day, because let's face it, Xmas is supposed ot be good will to EVERY FUCKER on the planet! So, here is what happened BEFORE that crap! Got up - we sat around discussing exchanging presents - I started to play soem guitar (because let's face it, Guitar makes me HAPPY) ... my mother decide we needed to Xchange presents. I gave my mother a Box Set of Billy Connolly DVD's, because let's face it, he is FUCKIN' FUNNY(yeah, I'm still fucking swearing ... sorry. I'm startin to sound like FUCKSTRESS [I think that's the first time I've used her name without spelling it FS, FStress or F*ckstress! Oh well, might be the last time, unless bad stuff keeps happening!]). I gave my brother a Box set of DVD's of Space: 1999 - an old TV series he likes. My brother gave my mother the complete Thuderbirds Series on DVD. My mother and brother gave me two things - first STARCRAFT and second a Cream GOLD CD. Those too young, or not familiar with CREAM, it starred ERIC CLAPTON [Guitar] (whom I assume you've heard of) as well as Ginger baker [Drums] and Jack Bruce [Bass]. My mother gave my brother a Box set of DVD's which were Train Documentaries. We gave the dogs some chewy bone things, but they didn't want to touch them at first ... weird. They've been having a lack of appetite lately. I'm not sure why. I hoep no one is throwing stuff over the fence for them to find. We found that once, someone had chucked chicken necks over the fence. We found them and threw them away, but I wanted my mother to report it to the police, in case someone was trying to poison the dogs. Anyway, eventually, they ate them, but took some coaxing. I then loaded the car up with the presents, and we had BIG presents for the kids this year ... and I drove us to my sisters place. Was sort of good - I only ate salad as I suspected the potato bake had bits of meat in it. I can't afford to go and die of an allergic reaction when I need to protect my mother and youngest brother. Anyway, ate heaps of junk anyway. Too much softdrinks and I think I am FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT ... FATTER! GROAN! Too much to eat. Anyway, we played cricket out the back - not that I am into cricket or anything ... I let my nephew bowl me out. As my brother Paul said, it was so damn obvious as I lifted the bat over my head ... but Ethan (my nephew) ws so excited that he'd bowled me out. It was funny. Then we all headed home. Got home and my mother and brother were fuming over my brother Paul (and the house thing). We'll see how it goes. Then my brother put some holes in the ceiling and we ran my internet cable through the roof, as I've been using my laptop and internet from the lounge, as the cable used to run under the horrible moldy carpet before I put the floro boards down. My mother kept complaining she wanted me back in the front room - which is funny, as everyone's been piling their CRAP in my front room, and I can't even get to my desk. So I'll have to clean the front room of all the crap in order to use the internet from their anyway ... I'll do that tomorrow. Anyway, we'll see how it all turns out. A little to do tomorrow. Important stuff ... now I'm feeling sick fom eatin so much CRAP!!!! hope you all had Merry Xmas's, and hopefully mine (and my mother's and brothers will turn out Okay before the end of the year). Cheers.

24 December, 2005

Merrrrrryyyyy Christmaaaaaaaaaaaass!

Merry Christmas - I made this Christmas card especially for all my readers, with a nice Christmas scene of Santa landing on a roof top to deliver toys. I hope you all spread the Christmas joy and hope to see you all after Xmas. :-) No Raindeer was hurt in the making of this card. A few of them died when falling off the roof, but I have been assured it was instant death and they didn't feel a thing. :-)

23 December, 2005

Latest Drawings

Here are my latest drawings ... consisting of my continued obsession with Japanese Ladies. They were too big to fit on my flatbed scanner, so I had to use the ol' Digital camera, which explains why they aren't 100% lined up straight and stuff, and a bit dark around the edges. ANYWAT ... anyone wanting me to draw someone like FireAngel, or Suanie, or someone ... just convince them I am okay at this drawing thing and get them to ask me to draw them ... actually, are thre any ladies out there who actually read my blog want me to draw them ... on my old University site I put in a call for people (in general) as I had a heap of stuff I wanted to do, but no one ever volunteered ... am I that bad? nah, i can't be, I've been exhibited at Darling Harbour Sydney ... Anyhow, anyone wanting to volunteer a picture of themselves, or able to convince someone else to pose, and I'll see if I can get around to doing a drawing of them. I have a feeling the 'We Love Fire Angel' site might want a few ... but I won't do it without her permission and stuff ... Check out the pictures anyway, and tell me what you think and stuff.

Quick Guide to Cutting Ones Own Hair.

Hair Cut Photos 1. In the beginning, there was Dabido, Hair and some hair Clippers ... [Size 5 (2.5mm) comb] 2. And the clippers moved across the face of the hair ... well, the head of hair ... Dabido's head that is ... 3. And across the back of the head as well, because Dabido looked, and there was much hair to be cut ... 4. And Dabido's back became hairy with much bits of hair from his head ... 5. And thus Dabido kept pulling and shaving at the hair ... 6. And much hair was removed and smited beneath the lethal blows of the clippers ... 7. Till little hair was left beneath the gaze of the sun ... 8. And thus, a shoe string miraculously came forth in order to help keep the back straight ... 9. And the clippers and shoestring combined to smite more hair ... 10. Till little hair was left at the back of the head ... 11. And the clippers rested ... 12. Front ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... 13. and Back ... 13. Finished Product. Thanks to my brother Jeff for taking most of the photo's for me.

22 December, 2005

Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars Part Thirteen - (In Colour)

Deibs and Niku arrived back at Deibs place. Their search for Meg and Mel had been uneventful. 'They're HERE!' screamed Deibs as he walked in. Sure enough, both units were standing in the middle of the room, motionless. 'Deibs, we haven't slept, we have work in fifteen minutes and I need to eat.' 'But, they're here!' 'So? I need a shower.' 'I have an idea, we'll switch them on, and use Fuzoku mode!' 'What's Fuzoku mode?' 'Fuzoku is when a woman washes the man with her body.' 'Um ... I really don't think we have time for that.' 'Mos Burger?' 'Mos burger.' 'Sounds like a plan. What about the shower though?' 'Fire hose!' 'Fire hose it is!' 'And don't forget to let your dog out.' 'I don't have a dog.' 'What's that in the corner?' Sure enough, Arlo was sitting in the corner. He was dressed in a black biker uniform and carrying a Smith and Wessen in his little paws. 'Um, Niku. I think that dog has a gun.' 'It does. Did you forget to feed him?' 'I told you, I don't own a dog.' 'Oh, he's a stray then.' 'I don't think stray dogs carry weapons.' 'What about their teeth. Ever had a German Shepherd lock it's jaws on your crutch? Like, it's real painful, you don't want that happening. Or a Doberman biting you on the arse? That leaves some pretty ugly scare tissue. Or a koala biting you on the head? Okay, that's not a dog, but it is still pretty bad, especially when it pees and you smell like koala pee. It's bad, Okay.' Deibs inched away from Niku. He moved a little closer to the remote of the Meg unit. Before he could pick the remote up though, Arlo shot it away from Deibs hand. 'Don't try to activate the units,' said Arlo. 'Wow Deibs, you own a talkin' dog. That's so cool.' 'Niku, I don't own a talking dog. I think it's one of the hamsters.' 'Ah, that makes perfect sense then. You make an elixir from human DNA designed to remove people aggression. What you didn't take into account is that feeding it to hamsters would actually place human DNA in their systems, thus their physiology replaced hamster DNA with human DNA. Thus, they get hands, grow bigger and start to get smarter like a human. Only, their aggression hasn't been removed, and what you thought was aggression genes, are actually enhanced sex drive genes, thus the homo erotic behaviour of the hamsters at Kenji's bar.' 'Huh? Um, yeah, sure Niku. Whatever you just said.' 'If I may interrupt for a moment,' interrupted Arlo. 'I think you need to do something for me.' 'Really?' asked Deibs. 'What might that be?' 'I need some elixir made. You see, the other two hamsters stole the rest of the elixir, they left you a note. only one problem, I want some more of the elixir myself.' 'Are you sure that is wise?' asked Niku. 'It's mutated you from being a hamster. I'm sure Deib's could change you back into being a hamster with another elixir.' 'I don't want another elixir,' Arlo retorted angrily. 'I have two hamster I am seeking revenge on. They have the elixir, they are smart and I don't think being a cute little hamster is going to help me kill them.' 'Oh, kill them,' Deibs nervously laughed. 'We could do that a lot simpler without you needing the elixir. We could just set a giant mouse trap for them and squish them.' 'I don't want you to squish them,' said Arlo. 'I want to serve revenge on them myself. To you, it might be just killing two hamsters, but to me, it's personal!' 'Um ... have you been watching too many movies at all?' asked Niku. 'I haven't had time to watch many movies. Most of what I know, comes from a regressive memory stored in the elixir.' 'Wow! You are smart. I chose some good DNA for that elixir, didn't I.' 'Deibs, did you use your own DNA again? Look at the problem we have with Meg and Mel needing your blood. For a guy whose supposed to be a genius, you miss some very simple things.' 'SILENCE,' yelled Arlo. 'Make the elixir NOW!' 'Um, Niku, I think we might need to phone in sick today.' 'Sick? This is Japan, you either phone in dead or you turn up dying.' 'Okay, phone and tell them we've been kidnapped by a homicidal hamster with a Smith and Wessen, and he's a darn good shot!' 'Let's just not phone at all. Hopefully, they'll put it down to us being baka gaijin and will assume we've gone mad.' 'I've already used "gone mad" three times this week.' 'Then they must be getting used to it then.' 'Come on, both of you,' said Arlo through threatening teeth. 'Down to the basement. Make the elixir.' 'I guess we better do as he says Deibs,' said Niku. Both Deibs and Niku moved down towards the basement. As they went, Niku deliberately stepped on the Meg unit's remote, which was now on the floor. He hoped he was able to press the 'on button' to activate the unit. She was their only hope. Arlo followed close behind them with the gun pointed at them. As they disappeared into the basement, the Meg unit clicked into life. 'Hello, world,' she said.

My Thoughts For Today

Things to think about today- Japanese word - Tekoki. Meaning - Hand Job. The word Te in Japanese means Hand ... I suspect Koki might have come from English, but I'm not sure. You are 60 times more likely to be struck by lightning than get eaten by a shark ... I was told that in order to get over my fear of sharks - instead, I am now living in fear of being hit by lightning while being eaten by a shark! Reading - it's a place in England, why teach kids reading when we can just send them all there and save time. Why doesn't Vicki Zhao Wei return my obscene phone calls? I don't mind her phonin and harassing me ... why does she have a problem when I do that to her? Why are women in Uniforms so darn Sexy?


I knew Suanie loved me for something ... even if it is just as the butt of a joke. Woo hoo! I pwned! Oh wait, that's not good ... oh well. I like these awards, as i really don't think anyone could ahve beaten me for that award, and truely, the person who got it deserved it ... after all, my meandering comments are often longer than some peoples entire blog content. Check out the other awards. I think they truely went to the correct people as far as category allocation went. It's better than most award crap, which goes to 'Most Popular' even when the so called award was supposed to go to most talented. I remember when we had awards at work. Often the awards went to the wrong people. One guy screwed up really badly, thenspent two days fixing the problem and won an award for it ... I thought that one was good. Imagine if he did his job right to begin with, he wouldn't have received a thing ... I received one award for fixing something at work once - the funny thing was, it was someone elses job, and I had shreds torn off me by my manager for fixing the problem. (Was a Sys Admin problem ... I wasn't a Sys Admin at the time). Talk about mixed signals - told off for NOT getting the Sys Admins to fix it (which would have taken hours, compared to my 'less than a minute'), then handed a BIG AWARD! Bleh! No wonder I HATE Corporate life! The funny thing is, a lot of the awards went to people who normally didn't work back, didn't do much, and were awarded for crap they screwed up. Other people, who always worked hard, worked long hours and never screwed up never received a thing. Then there are other people who, rumour had it, were awarded for 'sleeping with the boss'. I was there once when a boss was making 'suggestions' to a girl that he could 'advance' her career in the direction she wanted. All she needed to do was 'ONE THING'. In fact, that boss and that girl had a long running ... episode (shall I call it), where he was always offering that 'advancement' and she was always saying 'no'. She eventually QUIT! Smart girl. So, if I had an award, I'd hand one to Suanie for 'Most honest Blog Awards I've seen'. :-)

21 December, 2005

FUTURAMA Reloaded????

It might look like I'm a little bored today, with many posts ... many comments on other sites ... a bear movie ... um ... er... Some good news today, looks like they MIGHT resurrect Futurama (okay, we hear talk of movies and other things ... but FOX, IF YOU'RE LISTENING, GET YOUR ASSES INTO GEAR AND RESURRECT THIS BABY! IT's an ORDER! From Me ... um ..yeah ...) I think it might have gone over better if the idiots at SEVEN had put it on at a NORMAL timeslot, instead of ...what was it 11:30 ... then midnight ... then 12:30 AM ... then 1 AM ... then GONE!!! The Simpsons worked as it was on at PRIME TIME! Now Ten has picked up Futurama and put it on at PRIME TIME and THEY HAVE A HIT!!!! Well done Channel Ten. Good to see someone with BRAINS!!!! Seven made the same mistakes with King of the Hill and I think it was Family Guy ... two other good Adult cartoons ... but with time slots like MIDNIGHT, they wonder why they weren't doing too well ... I either had to stay awake till midnight or tape it and watch it later ... the average viewer can't be bothered doing that ... and what about the STAR TREK Franchises ... that was ANOTHER good show lumbered with a late time slot ... and Babylon FIVE ... I don't even remember that HITTING FREE TO AIR TV ... or did I miss it because it was on at 1 friggin' AM!!! Yet, they repeatedly put on CRAP at all other hours. AND WHERE IS BATTLESTARS NEXT SERIES!!!! I read it was going to be shown in OCTOBER ... and IT WASN'T!!! Where IS IT!!!! No wonder no one watches TELEVISION anymore ... the good shows are on while we sleep and the CRAP IS ON while we're awake ... and they wonder why I prefer the internet and DVD and COMPUTER GAMES!!!! And Hollywood MOVIES ... TOTAL CRAP!!!!! Make something good you loosers!

Make Your Own Films

Saw this FILM MAKER at JoeC's site and thought I'd make a Bear Film (seems as my Nickname is Bear. ... well, used to be.) Wasn't esay, as I didn't have a script to go off ... so was a ONE SECOND write! lol It's a little limited and I really need to get stuck into learnin FLASH or soemthing so I can turn Hamster Wars into the Anime it deserves to be! :-)

Original Xmas Song by Dabido - Number Three

Santa Laps Us All. Verse One: I'm not the sort to call Santa a Ho, But he is the sort to lap us all, All the year, he laps his deer, And Missus Clause, she lives in fear, That one day ol' Nic, he will get caught, Lapping those elves, which he taught, To build those toys for girls and boys, But lapping does give Santa such joys. Chorus: Cause Santa, He wants to have a ball. On Christmas Eve, Santa Laps Us all. While you sleep He's wearin nothing, Shaking his booty, Doin' his thang, Verse Two: When Santa comes around to town, And puts on womens clothing and prances around, Down your chimney he descends, To strip off his suit and waggle his end, And sit on your lap and grind away, While you're asleep and he's feeling gay, With a feather boa and lingerie, He humps yo momma and has his way. Chorus: Cause Santa, He wants to have a ball. On Christmas Eve, Santa Laps Us all. While you sleep He's wearin nothing, Shaking his booty, Doin' his thang, Verse Three: On every police wanted board, His face has been lovingly adorned, So all the poice have been warned, So nail up the chimney and grab a sword, Cause when Santa comes to lap your town, You wanna be ready to catch that clown Cause his wanted for break and entering, And exposing his body and indecent things. Chorus: Cause Santa, He wants to have a ball. On Christmas Eve, Santa Laps Us all. While you sleep He's wearin nothing, Shaking his booty, Doin' his thang.

Original Xmas Song by Dabido - Number Two

'Rudolph is a Drunk Raindeer' [Rap version] 'Rudolph, where have you been?' Santa asked one Christmas Eve, 'We've presents to deliver. We have to leave.' 'If you really must know,' Rudolph replied. 'I'm willing to tell you But you must be nice.' 'I've been up all night, I was rootin' hoes, I was snortin' coke, Which explains the nose' 'I was drinkin' hard I was doin' crack I was hangin' loose Cause my package don't lack. I was shooting pool, I was shooting beaus I got in a fight, Which explains the nose. If you really don't think, I am rough or tough, I'll take you all on, Till you scream enough. Cause I'm the gansta Deer, I'm the M.C. Dolph, I call the shots, And I raise the roof. I'm here tonight, To lead this sled, If any yo got a problem I shoot yo dead! So line up bitches In single file, Cause yo follow my tail, Yo dig my style. And all yo female deer, Yo are my hoes, Cause I'm the gansta deer, And what I say goes!

Original Xmas Song by Dabido - Number One

As per everything else on this site, it's copyrighted. [ie I OWN THE COPYRIGHT - but that's always been in the title bar!] Was over at FStress site, and was wondering what the Xmas song she was talkin' about was, and suggested three titles ... then had the thought, someone really does need to write those tunes ... so here they are. They are not in reference to any person in particular, I just thought I'd write funny lyrics to the titles. Yes, there are real tunes to go with them, and hopefully I won't forget them. Hope you enjoy them. 'Everyone deserves Ribena Vodka for Xmas'???? Verse One: So here we are, It's Christmas time, You've had enough, Of Vodka lime. Still got a crate, Of Vodka though Not drunk enough To root a ho. Chorus: Everyone deserves Ribena Vodka for Christmas. Yes, Everyone deserves Ribena Vodka for Christmas. Yeah, Everyone deserves Ribena Vodka for Christmas. Yep, Everyone deserves Ribena Vodka for Christmas. Verse Two: What to do? What can we say? Break out Ribena Mix it that way. Lap dance the boss, Strip to underwear, Every bodies watching What do you care? Chorus: Everyone deserves Ribena Vodka for Christmas. Yes, Everyone deserves Ribena Vodka for Christmas. Yeah, Everyone deserves Ribena Vodka for Christmas. Yep, Everyone deserves Ribena Vodka for Christmas. Verse Three: Climb right up, The Christmas tree, You've drunk so much You need to pee. The Christmas star, It pokes your butt, Now the office, Thinks you're a slut. Chorus: Everyone deserves Ribena Vodka for Christmas. Yes, Everyone deserves Ribena Vodka for Christmas. Yeah, Everyone deserves Ribena Vodka for Christmas. Yep, Everyone deserves Ribena Vodka for Christmas.

20 December, 2005

Final Item on the List - Crazy Dates I have been on Part III

Crazy Dates I have been on Part III Actually, I was trying to remember some of the crazy dates I've been on ... and it was hard. I suddenly remembered a few the other day, but not enough to make a complete post on. Sometimes a girl will do something weird on a date, but it's a sort of one off thing which makes them seem weird or crazy or both. There was the girl from Taiwan ... she lost interest in me when I didn't jump her bones ... funny thing was, i was really sick. I'd had my tonsils removed a few days before ... in fact, I was only just out of the hospital, and my stitches pulled free. I was bleeding into my stomach and was feeling really sick, so I took her back to her hotel. I tried to contact her after that, but she just lost interest in me ... I'm not sure she beleived my tonsil story. Then, there was my date with a Phillipina girl. She contacted me, organised the date etc ... I think my Uncle Ricci knew her (he's not my real Uncle, he's a Phillipino friend of mine). The entire time she kept talking about how she wanted to live in Australia ... I asked if she was into white water rafting ... oh yeah, she said, she loved it ... when have you gone? Um, she'd never been ... how about sky diving? ... Oh, love it, such a good thing to do ... when have you been? ... never ... uhuh! No matter what I chose to speak about, she was really excited about it ... but most of all, she kept turning the conversation to the fact she REALLY REALLY needed that visa in her passport to let her stay in Aussie ... at the end of the date I gave her the 'Dont' call me, I'll call you ... and I'm real busy so I probably won't call you' talk ... and then she kept phoning me at work ... oh, how she'd love to marry an Aussie so she could stay in Aussie ... um, yeah, sure. Didn't I say I'd phone you ... yes ... and I'm really busy at the moment ... but, but, I want to stay in Australia ... yeah, that's what I'm afraid of, it's not about you liking me or anything, it's about YOU staying in Australia ... oh no, I really like you ... okay, how about I move to the Phillipines to be with you ... Oh NO!!!! I want to stay in Australia ... Um, yeah, that's what I figured! Then, my dates with Christine from China. I liked her, in fact, our first date went really well ... but then on the next date I just sort of seized up ... I couldnt' find anything to talk about ... and we were both in IT! Waaah! Anyway, she gave me the 'Don't call me, I'll call you talk' ... and I knew what that meant ... just to be sure I sent an e-mail asking her to e-mail me if she wanted to go on another date ... and she didn't reply. I didn't bother to send any more e-mails after that. (Unfortunately I'm not as vocal in real life as I am on the internet. So if you meet me and I seem quiet ... guess what, I pretty much am until you either get to know me pretty well, or get a few scotch and cokes into me). Yeah, that crazy date was MY OWN FAULT. (I didn't say the girls caused all the crazy dates - I'm to blame for some ... oh wait, I think the first one [Part I] was mainly my fault! [for those who remember back that far] lol) How about this one - a friend of mine phoned me up and asked if I was going to lunch with him ... um ... had we made a lunch date? because I had a date with a Japanese girl for lunch ... no, but his Auntie was in the city and he wanted me to meet her ... he'd shown me a photo of her before, she was about my age and cute ... still a virgin (if I could believe him - do virgins come that old???) ... anyway, at first i thought I'd double booked myself into two dates ... no, he assured me, he just thought with his Aunt in the city that day, I'd like to meet her, have lunch, get married ... um ... good thing I had that date with a Japanese girl. :-) One of the first ever dates with my ex-wife was a bit different. She wore a dress that she borrowed from her sister - one size fits all ... only my ex was taller than her sister, so she spent the night pulling the dress down as it kept rising up and showing her nickers off! Or the time I was at the school dance, and I was dancing with my GF at the time ... and grabbing her ample buttocks ... my younger brother saw, and told my parents ... and brothers and sister ... and friends ... and EVERYONE!!!! Like, gees, can't a guy grope his GF without the world finding out???? I wouldn't mind now, but when I was young, shy and didn't want my parents finding out what I got up to ... now I think my family would be glad if I actually groped anyone!!! :-) That is basically the LAST item on the list of things to blog about. Either I need to think of some more things, or people need to come up with something fasinating ... Oh reminds me, remember my Rolf Harris post .. .well, my mother saw Rolf on TV tonight, painting the Queen etc ... and she started ravin about me taking my first steps in front of Rolf's Aunty ... lol Funny how she always talks about it whenever Rolf is mentioned!!! :-) But, getting back to the list, just grab some unrelated things and throw them together ... snow leopards doing swan lake ... yaks on the way to mars ... Walrus Jet Ski instructors ... Racoons with a secret base under the Rocky Mountains ... anything ... just chuck some ideas this way and I'll blog about them. Hopefully I will return with more 'Hamster Wars' tomorrow too ... will depend on whether I am working or not. :-)

Better Photo's

I just realised, I have better copies of my photo's at myspace. And what's even better, is people can add comments. (But, I think you might have to be MYSPACE members). Most of the photo's are exactly the same as the ones where I pimp myself, so not much new there ... note to self, take more photo's of ME ME ME! heehee! I should include the OFFICIAL musician ones from a few years ago ... must scan professional photo's into computer!!!! lol The funny thing about the PIMP MYSELF one, is my friend Amy from Penang spotted it and used it to contact me via e-mail. lol I hadn't talked to Amy for ages, so was good we finally made contact again. (And maybe I should intro her to some of the guys in Penang. I think she might still be single. Must ask ... (and I adopted her as my internet sister - so any successful guy must treat her right). Let's face it, I adopt almost anyone ... I have a few Internet Daughters (Mel in Penang ... she is one Mel Vampy is based on in Hamster wars ... Julie & Shifa in Indonesia ... plus more ... Suanie is my Son-in-Law ... I can't remember how that happened!!!) But, Amy is only one I allowed to be my internet Sister. (And Suan the only internet Son-in-law). All other females younger than me basically get adopted as daughters ... unless they annoy me ... actually, that is most of my internet daughters! WaaH! ... Actually, Widi is Guruku. And a few 'love interests' don't get adopted ... actually, now that I think about it ... that's only two girls so far ... one Phillipina girl I used to call Mahal Kitten and the other a Japanese girl I used to call Gugu. [Not their real names]. BUT, no love interests at present (no serious ones ... just ones I annoy by pretending to chase ... but lets face it ... are they that desperate? Well, if they are, they didn't reply to my self pimping!) Bwahahahahaaaa! These internet families are very complex ... I think at one stage one of my internet daughters was also my internet mum ... or something ... very complex! Anyway, I got sidetracked ... just thought I'd add that previous link to the photos where Myspace people can add comments or something ... or even ask me to add them as friends. Actually, one of the people I added in myspace I did just because she contacted me and I saw she was in Perth ... after I added her and looked at her profile, I realised she is PORN STAR!!!! [Why do I hear a sudden rush to my MySpace site???] It's true ... she sent a message asking .. well everyone if they want to be PORN STARS in a calendar ... she obviously didn't have too good a look at my photos! Bwahahahahaaa! Anyway, if you have a Myspace profile, add me and check out the photo's and add a stupid comment or something. :-)

Haven't Written the Hamster Wars for days!

I can't beleive this - I don't have writers block, I know exactly where the story is going - but I've been busy doing other things. So no Hamster wars for the last few days! Today I was out doing some work ... but it got interupted by Kylie going for lunch, so I had to go home while she took a few hours off to eat with the guys - then there was the return at 3pm ... and a weird electrical burning smell in the PCYC ... so she had to lock it up and call the fire brigade and stuff - so I spent some of the time inbetween both of those shopping for mother and then the afternoon shopping again. I hope the PCYC doesn't catch fire, as my invoice for other work is in there! Well, i can print it off again ... but still, don't want the PCYC to burn down ... Interesting point Kennysia makes regarding Political Correctness gone wrong at Xmas. I added my two cents regarding some Xmas experiences I've had. To save you looking for the comment amongst Kenny's millions of fan comments, I'll re-tel it here in different words. One of the old churches I used to go to had a weird Xmas rule. One of the reasons why I hate organised religion (in spite of my own Christian Beliefs) is because they often find ways to twist you one way, then twist you the other. At Xmas at the old Uniting Church I used to go to, they did that a few Xmas' in a row. As it used to be an old Methodist Church, some of the congregation were very ANTI-ALCOHOL. As such, wishing someone a 'Merry Christmas' was TABOO as MERRY = DRUNK. Thus, Dabido writing 'Merry Xmas' or saying 'Merry Xmas' to people was a SIN! The other thing I mentioned on Kenny's site was same church banned me from telling jokes. Logic goeslike this: Jokes are funny stories which are not based on reality. If it's not REAL, it must therefore be a lie. Therefore Dabido's jokes were lies. QED, Dabido is a lying sinner for telling jokes! I could start a joke like, 'I was driving along ...' and someone would interupt and say, 'No you weren't, you're a liar!' Funny thing, is a lot of my jokes ARE based on things which really happened ... so therefore, even if I told a funny story which was TRUE, I was still a LYING SINNER! Waaah! Can't tell jokes, can't wish people a Merry Xmas ... such a jolly church ... oh wait, Jolly = Drunk as well ... um ... happy church? Or does Happy = Gay? Darn! Sombre church? I'm all for Political Correctness, but sometimes it goes overboard. I remember once, we were talking about some Indian Contractors we had at work. Well, my friend Corey was talking about them ... our friend Laurel, who was Canadian, got upset and said we had to refer to them as 'Native Americans' ... we laughed real hard ... Corey had been talking about Indians from INDIA not Native Americans ... but the funny thing was Laurel raved for bout ten minutes non stop about it, calling Corey all the name sunder the sun for being so Politically incorrect, and I was told to shut up when I pointed out that in Laurel's rant she refered to Native American's as Indians herself (with the sentence, 'When I talk about my Indian friends, I call them native Americans') It cracked us up ... and even years afterwards we would occassionally bring it up (when we felt Laurel wasn't going to kill us that is). But, as they say in Aussie, when they stop taking the piss out of you, it means they don't like you any more. [So if I tease you, rejoice in it, it means I like you!] ;-)

19 December, 2005

Mouse House

Some weird things today - our phone kept making some weird scratching sounds every now and then. I've bene hearing it for days - today I heard it and my internet connection was lost! When it happened I was p***ed off, as this used to happen before ... luckily it was restored after ten mintues. I figure all that weird scratchign sound from the phone was Telstra Friggin' around with the phone lines!!! Their lack of service friggin' p***es me offf!!!! My mother and brother kept hearing and occassionally seeing a mouse. Today, I was sitting down watching a French Mini-Series about the French resistance (seeing how many words i could still remember in French) and I spotted the mouse climb up the wall, behind a Rudolph The Red nosed Raindeer and then saw it climb over behind a picture. I told my mother about it, and later decided to cathc the thing snd put him outside the house. I grabbed a 40 litre plastic tub, and took the picture down ... the poor scared mouse ran for it, and was behind rudolph again. I then got my mother to move Rudolph, and I caught the little guy in the tub. I was pretty proud, as my mother thought I wouldn't be able to catch him. I took him over the road to a park and let him go near the creek. My mother then said I released him close to where the snakes live (ie the creek). Anyway, I was pretty happy that I didn't have to kill the poor little guy. I just hope he was a genuine Aussie mouse and not a European import. I wish him all the best in his survival in the park. My mother then pointed out that it wasn't the mouse she and Jeff had been seeing. This one was grey, they'd been seeing a brown one which was bigger! Arrrgh!!!Looks like my mother and brother might invest in some ratsack. I still can't source Pipa strings in Australia. I've written to a Chinese orchestra in Melbourne in the hope they might have a source. [They probably get someone's Uncle Bob to send them from Hong Kong or something!] Grrrr, so annoying owning an instrument I can't play!!!! I'm still chasing Cellos on ebay and went looking for lutes ... at least I know I can get Lute strings in Aussie! They are about $100 for a set of twenty strings ... wow ... more strings than I'm used to playing!

17 December, 2005

Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars Part Twelve (Manga with no conscience)

Daiki Katou walked into his police station. He was the senior sergeant, and everything, no matter how trivial, no matter how small, went through him. Constable Tsubasa Tamura looked up from the desk. He'd had a crazy night. Katou had to hear this. 'What's the news Tamura?' 'We have one lady in the hospital, claims she was attacked by Vampire. Has big bite marks on her neck like you wouldn't believe. Came in here screaming like crazy.' 'We get crazies all the time, what else?' 'We've pulled Tayo up.' 'Tayo? Tayo the Yakuza Gang Boss?' 'Yeah. One and the same.' 'What did we get him for?' 'Dangerous driving. Now he's claiming he was attacked by giant hamsters.' 'Giant Hamster Yakuza Gang? Never heard of them.' 'No, giant hamsters. Not a gang. He claims they were real live giant hamsters with a pellet gun.' Katou paused, 'Um ... Okay. Has he seen a police shrink?' 'Not yet. We figured he might be high on something, thought he might sleep it off.' 'Yakuza sell that crap, they don't use it. Wonder if he's been drugged?' 'No idea. What do you think is up?' 'Gang war is my guess. Get me agent Sugawara.' Haruna Sugawara was the best source for what was happening on the streets. If she didn't know what was going down, then no one else on this side of the law would. She entered Katou's office. Katou was facing the window. 'I want to know what's happening, Sugawara,' Katou said, without taking his eyes off whatever was amusing him outside. 'Well,' said Haruna pulling up a wooden seat and sitting on it backwards. Her blouse was half unbuttoned, and the way she wore it, it didn't seem like a uniform as much as a striper-gram's costume. 'The word up is their is a big gang war on the way. The Llama's are making big moves on everyone else's territory.' 'Which "everyone else" are we talking about?' 'The Goo Dragons, Hells Buffalo's, the Undercover Monkey's.' 'I thought the Undercover Monkey's died in a shoot out with the Beer Guzzlers.' 'No, there are two left, and two Beer Guzzlers.' 'Ah, so they fight perpetually like yin and yang.' 'No, they are best friends.' 'Eh? The criminal mind is so strange. One day shooting to kill, the next sleeping together.' 'I think you mean, in bed together.' 'Same, same, but different.' 'They were last seen frequenting a gay bar.' 'Ah, four gay men lusting after each other's bodies. That makes sense. So they are sleeping together.' 'Um ... maybe. Or they just have hentai streaks.' 'The good old chikan criminal mind. Always tying each other up with rope and torturing each other. So chikan ero!' 'Um ... yeah, sure. Well, the word is out that the Llama's have already taken The Thuggie's territory.' 'Really?' 'Well, he is in jail. Not much he can do till he gets out.' 'Eh? Only one of them left. Looks like our zero tolerance policy is working. Kill them all, put the ones we aren't allowed to kill in jail. Works every time!' 'I heard they had Tayo locked up.' 'Yes, dangerous driving. At first they thought he was drunk, then drugged up. All the blood tests came back negative. We think he's lost his mind. Total gurui!' 'Gurui? How strange ... he was the architect of the territory take over bid. What happened?' 'He claims he was being attacked by giant hamsters.' Haruna laughed. 'Eh, he is not insane. He is going to try for an insanity plea. More likely, he was being shot at by some Hell's Buffalo and wants to pretend he was gurui. He makes me laugh that Tayo.' 'You know him well?' Haruna moved the chair and lent across the desk. As she did so, her blouse hung loose and Daiki got a look at more than he should have. The blood rushed away from his brain so fast he almost fainted. 'When I was undercover for a while, I was his mistress. It was ... deep cover.' The way she said, 'deep cover', was so seductive Daiki's desk rose an inch off the floor. 'Uh, sure. Deep cover. Good for you.' 'Are you sure you don't want me to ... interrogate him.' Something squirted from under the desk and hit Daiki square in the eye. He took his handkerchief out and cleaned his face. 'Um, no, no, Sugawara. I think that's all for now. Er ... dismissed.' 'Sure thing ... senior Sergeant.' Haruna turned and walked seductively out of the office. Darn it, thought Daiki, why does she always do that to me?

16 December, 2005

New Years Eve???

I received my Cert IV in Business today via post. I'm a bit miffed, I was informed we were going to have a graduation ceremony and stuff. So I was a bit shocked to find it was delivered in the mail. Where's our GRADUATION CEREMONY!!!!!??? I WANT MY CEREMONY!!!!!
I was wondering what to do for New Years Night. My main thought is to fly into Sydney and spend some time there. One of the reasons, is because of my friend Gary. I've blogged on him before. We did music at school together, (as well as other subjects), we went to church together and he was a good friend. A while ago, he was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour. It would be nice to see him, as it might be the last time I ever get to see him. The other reasons include seeing all my other friends there. Times moved on though - Rizaldy is married with a child (which happened just before I left), Corey has now got a GF, got her prego and bought a townhouse. Steve has a GF ... not sure what happened after that ... Greg and Nicole have had Rhiannon (a Baby) ... amazing what three years will do ... Yvonne moved to UK, damn it, I almost followed her ... but didn't ... Laurel moved to the UK following her BF ... Stella doesn't write any more ... Remonda ... stopped writing ... Darn it ... Where are my friends!!!!! Both of them ... if only I could remember their names!!! Hmmm, no wonder they ran away! I'm just tossing up whether it's feasible to go at the moment, both flight wise and accomodation wise. (Or even if there is anyone to see there!!!!)

Problem Solved

I put in a problem to Activision regarding an issue with Medieval - Total War. The reply came back that basically they couldn't solve the issue. Even though they list my graphics card as one which runs the game, they basically wrote back saying that they can't get it to work. Today, I received an e-mail, which basically said, 'Because you haven't contacted us, we have changed the status of your issue to - SOLVED' Um, great, they count that as SOLVED, 'We can't fix it, therefore, Ipso Facto, it must be SOLVED.' Like, what am I supposed to do, they send me an e-mail saying they can't fix it, then send me another one saying that because I didn't reply the problem is therefore solved. Like, what did they expect me to do, write back and say, 'That works ... by sitting on my friggin' hands and staring at the screen it automatically solved the issue, oh thank you,thank you for telling me friggin' NOTHING!!!!!' I really get p***ed off by the stupid games suport. It's not just activision, it's other companies. I bought Dungeon Keeper II years and years ago, and it just didn't run. I e-,ailed support ... I waited ... and waited, and never ever received a reply. So, after about a month or more, I sent another e-mail ... and waited ... eventually I got a reply telling me to take it back to the shop I bought it from and get another copy. The shop didn't (and still doesn't) accept returns on items where the product has been opened (in case you burned a copy), so I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I've lost count of the amount of games I own that I just can't get to work with the hardware I have. In the case of Dungeon Keeper, apparently I wasn't the only one. I searched for a solution on some of the 'support' chat sites, and found other people had a similar issue, but no one had a solution. Of course, it wasn't as bad as the support I received from Microsoft back when I tried loading Win95. I loaded it on a machine which used to run Win 3.1 and Linux. Both ran okay on the machine, but I wanted to update to Win95. I removed Linux altogether, and loaded Win95 on a clean Hard Drive. After installing it, it kept having problems. As soon as I tried to run it, it had an error. I phoned the MS help line, and the guy told me I had a virus. BULLSTUFF!!! He then said I was running illegal software and that was were the Virus had come from. BULLSTUFF!!!!! I told him it was brand new Win95 and nothing else was loaded. He then told me it was my hardware. My hardware was cheap and nasty and I needed to replace it. I told him my CPU was 100% Intel Pentium and the rest of the hardward was all name brand stuff, like my Soundblaster sound card. He then told me that Win95 needed the best hardware to run on, so I had to go out and buy a new PC with only the most expensive hardware. Now, that's what I call 100% BULLSTUFF!!! I wonder what Bill Gates would have said if he heard that sort of non-sense coming out of the mouth of his support staff. It's people like that guy who turn people onto Linux. I ended up running Win95 (after loading and reloading half a million times), and eventually also loaded Linux back on the machine. The Win95 ended up over running the Linux partition (which p*$$3d me off no end). I don't think there was a time I ran Win95 without it crashing. I often wonder if it was something really simple which could have been fixed, but the support guy was just too stupid to help fix it. I hope his superiors listened to the call and sacked him ... but alas, probably no such luck. To this day, I've had less problems with Linux than I have had with MS products. The only reasons I run MS, is simply because of the games ... but I'm tempted to load a linux partition on this machine, but the hard drive is so friggin' small! Well, it's 100GB ... but that's so darn small!!!! :-)

Dabido Pimps Himself

Dabido Pimps Himself - Brough to you by the numbers 1, 31, googleplex and a half and minus infinity point two. Since the dawn of time, women have sort crazy cavemen like dudes with which to make babies and possibly get a relationship. It has been difficult for them, with most cavemen having on two words vocabularies, consisting of 'Beer!' and 'Food!' Enter, the articulate geek. Ridiculed at school by the jocks. Put down by the tarts who sleep with anyone in school, except the geeks. Teased and beaten up by the teachers who had nothing better to do at lunch. Pee'd on by the dogs that just happen to be walking past the bus stop. Is this not the real man that women have been yearning for? Is this not the guy they want (once they get the dog urine smells off him)? The answer is a possible, 'Yes', with a caveat longer than a Dabido comment. So, what sort of man is this 'articulate geek'? What sort of things does he get up to? To make a quick list here are the things he does:
  • Plays Guitar, drums, keyboards, cello, clarinet, plus more. (Once saw a flute).
  • On holidays - White Water Rafts, skydives, scuba, snorkling, mountain bike riding ... basically anything along those sorts of lines in order to relax a little.
  • Hobbies - Painting, drawing, computer games, blogging, writing, write music, warhammer, scrabble, fixing up his mothers house.
  • Previous Jobs - Studio Musician, Programmer, Systems Analyst, Systems Administrator (Unix), Network Engineer, Graphic Designer, actor, lots of other crap things.
  • Unfinished Degrees (in order of starting) - Geology, Physics, Computer Science, Arts, Fine Arts, General Studies. Plans to return to finish all one day.
Of course, things go more than one way - as with most interviews/dates/sales pitches, their are two sides of the equation. The first one consists of you asking, 'Do I want this product?' The second one consists of the product asking, 'Do I want this customer?' In my case, the answer is probably, 'No'. After all, getting 'A Girl Friend' is not a difficult proposition. The world is full of ladies, in fact, most of the world is full of ladies with them out numbering men by a full four percent. That means that we either need four percent of ladies to either be happy with no man, or to become a man for their newly aquired GF (and lesbian persona). Of course, with the Bionic GF just around the corner (and let's face it Japan has already unveiled a few prototypes), the competition for a good BF is getting more difficult. With this product though, we find it is sligtly more difficult to reel him in and land him. After all, he comes with a fully functional Teflon Suit. The drawback to the suit, is it means it will be difficult to rip through it to get to the product. Luckily, the suit is not just packaging, and once through, you will find it is a good deterant against other would be suiters trying to steal your man. So, what are the minimal system requirement to get this guy installed? Let's have a look:
  • Intelligence - (this guy doesn't run on stupid women. They just switch him off - they don't have the CPU power to handle him).
  • Fidelity - Must be the only BF installed at any one time.
  • Independence - Must be able to hold own opinions. If those opinions differ from those of the product, that is fine, as long as both are able to agree to disagree.
  • Pacifist - The product does not like being beaten into a pulp. No matter how many times you might say something like, 'You love it,' the fact of the matter is, the product does not. Don't misuse the product.
  • Nice - Most people think they are nice. If, however, you feel you can abuse anyone in the street for any reasons at any time just because you can, then you are not the one for Dabido.
  • Computer Literate - Like computers? The product likes computers, and if you do too, then maybe you have something in common.
  • Non-Jealous - if you are the sort that turns green, or who hits your BF because some girl looked at him, then maybe you have insecurity problems. Check them at the door.
  • Likes Games - That's games like Scrabble, not mind games like 'Guess why I am angry at you?'
  • Communicates well - Don't expect the product to GUESS what the problem is. It has dated many girls, and they are not all the same. What bothers one does not necessarily bother another one. If it bothers you, speak up (or forever have to listen to the products Pipa playing!)
Caveat: The product is 40 years old. He's been around a while, and if you are after a newer model, from say perhaps, the 1980's or 1990's, then you have come to the wron store. The product is approximately 165 cm (5'5") in height. It weighs about 85 KG at present (but yoyo's between 80 and 100 kg most of the time). The product is allergic to most edible substances on earth. Don't order food for him, or attempt to feed him, he's pretty good at doing that himself. The products hair length at present is somewhere between the top photo and the bottom one. He is about to get it cut. The product is picky. More information is available from our product department by e-mailing: cyber_bear AT bigpond.com The product has the right to reject any and all bids. The prodcut lives in Perth and cannot be e-mailed, faxed or shipped by freight to anywhere in the world at present. [He can get on a plane though if he wants to and has a passport].