Elephants???

My Sister and Brother-in-law were over today. They installed a light fixture for my mother, which was nice of them. They bought the light fixture for mum for Xmas. I'm glad they selected something which didn't have anything to do with the floors, because as you remember, they offered to do the floorboards when I'd already told them I was doing them etc. Anyway, there is still tiling in the Kitchen and Laundry to do, plus other things. My brother Jeff and I are going to take some of the doors off their hinges and paint them properly and everything too. I received a phone call today, basically for a job as a Network Analyst for the Dept of Planning and Infrastructure. It'll have less earning potential tham my business, but I am slightly tempted. Working as a public servant has it's advantages. I could still run my own business at the same time, plus work on the art / writing / music etc. I hate always havin too many options, and then someone throws another carrot towards me! [Which reminds me of a joke - what's invisible and smells like carrot? Bunny farts!!! Don't you love me even more after telling that one! :-)] Well, I heard that joke off one of my Nephews (and in returned I asked him this joke - 'What's brown and smells like Banana? Monkey Vomit! Bwahahahaaa!')

I was actually sitting here reading FStress site, when two of my nephews came over [They can't read yet, so I didn't navigate away from her page] and one pointed at the Ladybugs on FStress site and said, 'Elephants!'

That cracked me up! FStress Ladybugs are elephants!!!! Bwahahahaaaa! I know I like to joke around on FStress site and stuff, making suggestions she chose me as her next BF (and so do a lot of other guys) ... but a lot of guys are starting to make suggestions that she go with it .. admittedly in jest ... probably because I annoy the F*** out of her (and we don't want that, as there'll be no F*** in F***Stress ... OMGoodness!) Still, it's funny to have their support (or mock support - or both) :-) Which brings me to a David Letterman Top Ten list (except it won't be funny) I just thought of doing: Top Ten Reasons FStress and I will never go out:

1. I play too many musical instruments (Fstress has said she wants a guy who plays TEN instruments! Darn my talent)
2. She is afraid I might kill her if I roll over during the night. (Darn my Fatness)
3. I'm afraid she might kill me ... anytime of day or night. (Darn her Temper)
4. She wants a guy who sings like an angel - I sing like an angel, but it's the angel of "death caused through suicide to stop them from having to listen to my carcophony".
5. She's too short for me. (See point 3 - that point will get me killed)
6. She wants someone with an ENGLISH ACCENT - I can fake an English Accent, but how long can I keep it up before I start with the funny Monty Python type voices.
7. She has made ZERO attempt to rip through the Teflon suit ... so she isn't even trying. Ptttthhh!
8. I have made no attempt to rip through her Teflon Suit (which she apparently has now ... bloody jaded biatch! ... see point 3 - that'll get me killed!)
9. I'm waiting for my perfect Japanese Soul mate to appear- which will probably never happen
10. She's waiting for her perfect English GuySoul Mate to appear - which will probably never happen.

The top point though - Her Lady Bugs look like ELEPHANTS! Bwahahahahahaaaa! Admittedly, two trunked conjoined twin elephants! [See point 3 - That'll get me killed] :-)