The Blog of Dabido (the Baka one). Everything in this blog is copyrighted. Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006 by D. Stevenson.

23 July, 2006

Superman - Handbag Snatcher [PARTE NINE]

'Hmmmm,' said Kong to himself. 'This is hard on the outside, and sort of chewy in the middle. Not nearly enough filling though. Mainly all air. To think they pay millions for these things. Oh well, plenty more where that came from. Here comes a whole stack of them for me to eat.' The US 1st Armoured division rolled down the road towards him. Kong loved these things, as he just had to run around the corner, climb a little way up the building out of sight, and leap on them as they finally arrive at the cross road. The lack of vision hampered the tanks from seein Kong once he was above their eye line. The helicopters were a bit if a nuisance though, thought Kong. Got nasty paper cut off one of them. Those twirly things they have on their heads. Remind me of those computer geeks I ate a little while ago. Stupid fools, walked up and asked me to pose for thier blog site, wearin stupid hats with plastic twirly things ... what do they call them? Oh yeah, propeller heads! Well, that'll teach them! Oh kewl, first tank has arrived, time to leap on it, knock the top off and have some lunch! WeeeeeeeeH! Meanwhile, back in Toyko, their was a distinct lack of city left. The giant turtle wasn't feeling too good, and let one rip! Green smoke bellowed out from his insides into the surrounding area. The giant T-Rex creature gagged and ran for it. A large squid type creature had joined the fracas, but decided it would be better back in Tokyo bay. Bad enough it was having difficulty breathing out of water as it was, but now that stupid turtle was just turning things foul! The squid couldn't beleive it. Imagine arriving in Tokyo and finding the air unbreathable. Most of the Tokyo residence didn't actually notice much difference from the normal traffic fumes.
'Well,' said Bruce. 'Looks like Wayne foundation is back up and running. We have only one major rival at present, Lunther Corp. Not to worry, it's run by some evil money hungry guy named Luke Lunther. He's been grooming his young son Lex to take over.' 'So, are we making enough money to support my habit?' asked Clarke, who was getting tired of having to snatch handbags. 'Not by a long shot young Clarke,' replied Bruce. 'All the money is being re-diverted back into Wayne Foundation at present. Plus, ther eis a lot of marketing to be performed. First of all, you're our new front for the organisation, so we have to get some PR people onto you to clean you up a little. Second, we have to get fitted for our lycra suits. Can't be superheroes without skin tight lycra, molding itself to my bulging biceps. Filling every nook and cranny. Leaving nothing, and I mean NOTHING, to the imagination. My tight glutes looking like two firm peaches in a skin tight bag.' 'Um, sorry to interupt,' interupted Harold, who was getting a little uncomfortable with Bruces monologue. 'Just, some of the other Gremlins are wondering if we're going to be getting cushy jobs. At present we're still mugging little old ladies, and beating up convenience store clerks and stuff. I mean, so of those clerks know karate and kung fu you know.' 'Ha ha,' said Bruce. 'Harold you old scamp. Of course they'll be cushy jobs for you and your friends. Have to reward the little people who put Wayne Foundation back on the corporate map. Just, we're a little tight for cash at the moment, you know, with the empire building and all. We've just opened another office in Singapore. That place isn't cheap you know. Office space is at premium prices. Difficult to afford anything on such a tight budget at present.' 'Well, can't you give at least one of us, and by one of us, I mean me, a little cushy job somewhere. Just so the rest of the boys know that things are moving.' 'Brilliant idea, Harold,' replied Bruce. 'I can see you're thinking on your feet. Just the man I need for the Tokyo office.' 'But, but,' stammered Harold. 'Tokyo is a flattened wreck at the moment. The monster wars have completely wasted the place.' 'Harold! You're a big boy. Besides, you'll fit right in.' 'It could be worse,' interjected Clarke. 'He could send you to New York. Apparently, there is monkey poo all over that place at the moment.' 'New York would be a walk in the park compared to TOKYO!' screamed Harold. 'Tokyo's completely flattened. WHERE AM I SUPOSED TO LIVE IN TOYKO?' 'Calm down,' said Bruce, a little too calmly for the likes of everyone else in the room. 'Not all of Tokyo is flattened. Out near Narita there are plenty of buildings, and none of them have suffered any damage. I've bought a building there. It's called "Wayuno Towers" now, named after Wayne Foundation. Anyway, Narita is completely in tact, and the property prices have come way down since everyone's moving away fom the monsters.'
The T-Rex like creature picked up a QANTAS seven four seven and through it across the Narita runway. 'Get away from me you giant farty turtle!' it screamed. 'Aw, come on! I only let one rip, and it wa sin the middle of Tokyo.' 'I don't care, it smells foul and it's followed you!' 'Oh, a guy lets one rip in his entire life, just one, and automatically you're branding me the farty turtle! Like youv'e never cut the cheese in your life!' 'It didn't come out green and smelly like yours! Just, get away from me!' 'It's something I ate, honestly. You know, some of these humans just don't digest that well. I promise not to let one go again.' 'I don't even like you! Leave me alone!' 'Come on, I'll buy you a corn pizza.' 'We're not even friends! In Tokyo we were trying to kill each other.' 'Well, I like wrestling with my friends.' 'I told you, we're not friends! I HATE YOU!' 'Oh, hate is such an ugly word!' With that, the T-REx lifted the poor turtle and flung him across Narita, over the airport terminal and into a large building. The building cracked and as the turtle rolled on it's back on the ground, the top fell off, with the new sigange, 'Wayuno Towers' falling on his head! 'Aw gees,' said the turtle. 'That friggin' hurt!' 'Good, now go back and play with your squidy friend from Toyko bay!' 'Squidy friend? He has a name you know!' 'I don't care about his friggin' name! Just go play with him.' The remains of 'Wayne Tower' collapsed and fell on the turtle. While trying to get the cement off himself, the turtle didn't notice which way the T-Rex ran, and soon the T-rex was over the horizen and on his way to Sapporo.