The Blog of Dabido (the Baka one). Everything in this blog is copyrighted. Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006 by D. Stevenson.

25 July, 2006

Superman - Handbag Snatcher [PARTE ELEVEN]

Grasshopper was sitting at the front of the plane in first class as it came in to land for a stop over at Narita airport. The plane made a nice three point landing without any bounce. As it was slowing down, trying not to hit the obstacle at the end of the runway, the brakes failed. All Grasshopper saw was it suddenly get very dark outside. If daylight had the ability to penetrate the mass outside, he would have realised the plane had smacked head first into a large round brown biscuit shaped thing that the T-Rex had left on the runway. ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. We seem to have … er … plowed into some dino doo. You will need to exit from the back of the plane while the ground crew dig us out and refuel the aircraft.’

When the rear dorway was eventually opened, after the groundcrew brought some old movable stairs to the plane, there was a sudden rush of green smog. Most of the passengers found that the airsick bags, that most hadn’t needed before, now couldn’t be opened fast enough. If they had of thought that airplane food was bad enough before they’d eaten it, they now had to see it again.

‘I better mobile ahead,’ thought Grasshopper. ‘He pulled out his Lunther Corp mobile phone and dialed the head office.’

‘Lex speaking,’ said Lex. Grasshopper hadn’t realised he had phoned his direct boss, Lex Lunther.

‘Hi, this is Grasshopper, I’m the new exectutive from China.’

‘Yes, Grasshopper. What can I do for you?’

‘You’re not going to believe this. The planes going to be late, it’s sort of, stuck in dino doo.’

‘Ah, it’s all hit the fan has it?’

‘The fan, the cokpit, somes in the engines. But don’t worry, it’s all undercontrol. Just means I’m going to be arriving later than expected.’

‘Good, I have an assignment for you then. We’ve just bought a new hotel at Narita. Apparently it’s sustained a little damage when Wayuno Towers took a topple a short while ago. Can you head over there, spend the night and assess the damge for me?’

‘Yeah, sure thing Mister Lunther.’

‘Please, call me Lex Grasshopper.’

With that, Grasshopper sorted out his paperwork with the authorities and took a taxi over to the Lunther Hotel in Narita. The damage was minimal. Mainly, it was the turtle doo in the swimming pool that was a the problem. There were a few smashed windows and such, but the hotel staff had moved any guests from those rooms to better accomodation.


‘Mister Wayuno,’ said the terrified voice at the other end of the phone. ‘We have very bad news for you. Your property has collapsed.’

‘Don’t worry,’ said Bruce. ‘Prices will come back up again.’

‘Not the price. The property has collapsed. Giant turtle one has been thrown into the building and building fell over.’

‘Giant turtle one? You’re numbering these things now?’

‘No, the giant turtle. Smashed up Tokyo, you know the one. He landed on the building. Building fall over. T-Rex ran away to Sapporo. Turtle very angry. Can’t find T-Rex, runs amok smashing trains, farting a lot and singing J-Pop tunes. People very scared. Never heard J-Pop in such a screeeechy voice before.’

‘So, you’re saying the building I just bought has been demolished.’

‘Hai. And no insurance against monster attack in Japan. Happens way too often.’

‘So, I’ve lost the entire building? How much did that thing cost me anyway?’

‘Was only fifteen thousand yen. Very cheap. Still, we are thinking of buying another building nearby for you. Little smaller, but only fourteen thousand yen. Still, it is fifteen stories high.’

‘Can you talk them down a little?’

‘I have tried, because of the cost of digging it out.’

‘Digging it out? Landslide? Earthquake? What’s it doing buried?’

‘Oh, more monster problems. Don’t worry, we arranged a fertaliser company to take it away. Made ten thousand yen on the deal.’

‘So, we’re only five thousand yen down? Well done Kato!’

Bruce hung up the phone. Hmmm, he thought to himself. There’s money in monster dung.

‘Clarke,’ ordered Bruce. ‘Get me our man in New York. Who did we send there?’

‘Actually, we sent Harold there after he refused to go to Toyko.’

‘Fantastic. Just the man we need! He’s used to being in up to his armpits.’