Psyche and Eros - Part Two
Did I say this was going to be two or three parts? Let's make it twelve and counting! :-)
PART TWO - Apollo's Plan
Meanwhile the King went to a shrine of Apollo in order to pray that his daughter Psyche would finally have someone to marry. 'Oh, dear great god Apollo, please here my suppliant prayer,' prayed the King. 'Dude, have I got a dude for you!!!' exclaimed Apollo. The King almost wet himself. 'Well, when I say a dude for you, I don't mean for you, personally. I mean for your narly daughter, the bodacious Psyche! You'll be goofy footin' on the other side of your board and making your friends totally envious of your layback when I'm finished. Listen up, your daughters got to get to yonder hill, where the line up for the break starts, man. There, her new hubby will come and she can totally catch the pipeline with him. Only one wipe out she's gotta avoid, King man. Her hubby's gonna be this totally awesome looking serpent. Like, he's real wicked and ugly and stuff, so she's gotta promise not to sneak a peak at the scaly dude, else it'll totally freak her out, King man.' 'I'm sorry, can you say that again?' 'You want a hubby for your totally awesome offspring Psyche, yeah?' 'Yes, I want a husband for my daughter. That's correct.' 'Well, I got the dude! But like I said, he's totally serpent.' 'Sorry, totally serpent? What's that term mean?' 'I mean, the guys a snake! Like, a really big sick snake, with scales and everything. Like, totally mushed in the face. Like, he can't get a ride cause his totally dumping!' 'Uh? He's a snake.' 'Yeah, that's what I said, man! Totally slippery, so she can't look at his face.' 'Um ... isn't that bestiality? Like, isn't that wrong?' 'No way, King dude. Like, if Zeus can turn into a bull and totally root chicks, then my friend the snake can do so as well. And it's the only part of the beach breaking for you man. So, you want in on the set or you gonna wait to see if it picks up a little?' 'Okay, you have a deal.' So, the King went back to Psyche and told her of the deal. She figured it was the only way she was going to get a husband, and besides, she liked the idea of the big snake. It was also fortunate for her onlookers, as the drool had got up to their necks. So, the King got rid of the onlookers, drained the palace of drool, and packed Psyche's stuff for her to leave. Several of the servants slipped on the drool while carrying her stuff out of the palace, but none suffered anything worse than brain damage and three years in a coma. So, Psyche sat on the hill waiting ... and waiting ... and waiting ... which didn't seem too long for her, as she'd waited all her life so far, so half a day was pretty short. It was a hot day, so she eventually decided to have a sleep. After she fell asleep, Apollo and Eros friend Zephyr carried her off to Eros palace. Psyche awoke to find herself outside a huge beautiful palace. She entered the palace and went looking for someone. She could hear the servants, and could talk to them, but she could never see them as they were all invisible. They were all very courteous and nice to her, after all, she was the Queen of the palace. So, Psyche had her husband, and Eros visited her often, but only at night. She was also warned not to look upon him. 'Bodacious one, turn your head, I'm coming into the room already!' Eros would often warn her when he arrived home. Psyche was very happy. She had her husband, she had servants and had everything she needed, even a PlayStation 3, which she had no use for as there was no electricity.
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