Alien Abduction Tale Part III
Alien Abduction Tale Part III
I awoke to find my brain in a jar across the room from me.
'Oh darn,' I said to myself. 'It's those blasted aliens again!'
'Heeelllloooooo,' one called cheerfully to me as it appeared from behind a white bookcase with stirile white books on it's shelf.
'Why is my brain in a jar?'
'It's okay, we've transplanted all your memories into a nasal hair. It's in your right nostril as we speak.'
'A nasal hair? And what happens if I sneeze and blow the nasal hair out?'
'Oh, we never thought of that.'
'What you mean you didn't think of that? Don't you know anything about the human physiology?'
'Of course we do. What do you think all those anal probes were about?'
'I don't remember getting an anal probe.'
'Oh no, we do them to ourselves. Helps us think clearer. Would you like one?'
'What? To help me think clearer with my nostril hair? I don't think so!'
'Fine, fine. Don't say we didn't ask.'
'So, what's written in all them books on the bookshelf?'
'Oh nothing, we don't use books, we use telepathy. We just thought it might make you feel more at home.'
'Books normally have knowledge in them.'
'Well these ones have the entire database of intelligent human conversation to this date.'
'I thought you said they didn't have anything written in them.'
'They don't!'
'*&#*$*&^!!!!! So what are you doing with my brain in a jar then?'
'Ah, we're going to transplant it into an orangutan and see if it gets dumber.'
'Why?'
'Oh, we haven't thought of a reason yet. We figured we'd work that out after we've done it.'
'Just give me my brain back. Besides, I am allergic to orangutan!'
At this point, just the mention of an orangutan made me sneeze, blowing my nasal hair out. My next waking moment I was back in bed. I am unsure what happened to my nasal hair, or any orangutan they may have had, but I am 53.2% sure my brain is back in my head.
Aaaaaachooooooooooooooooooooo! ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Revise List:
- Baggy Trousers – Why my balls still work!
- Jungian 'collective unconscious' Versus Hegel's World Spirit thingy (The real deathmatch you wanted to watch!)
- Crazy Dates I have been on Part III
posted by Dabido @ 12/12/2005 09:39:00 am
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