The Blog of Dabido (the Baka one). Everything in this blog is copyrighted. Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006 by D. Stevenson.

11 December, 2005

Oxford, English Dic and Hary - worlds hardest book to follow the plot of!

Before I start to Rave about Oxford, English, Dic and Hary this report in regarding hamsters. You thought Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars was just a made up story ... but those poor depressed Hamsters!!! Yes, Hamsters are people TOOooOOoooOOOoooOOoooOOooo!!! Well, sort of ... Oxford English Dick and harry - Worlds Hardest Book to Follow. When I was a kid, I remember on a carton called Top Cat one of the cats (Spook) had a line regarding the fact he'd just finished reading Oxford, English Dick and Harry, and said it was the craziest book he'd ever read. It starts out with aardvarks and ends up with Zebras at the zoo. I used to use the line a lot, and until recently I didn't know anyone else was using the line till I saw a Simpsons Episode with comedian Steve Wright. (How dare he steal the joke I stole) He used the joke like this: I just got finished reading the Dictionary, it ends up the Zebra did it. The joke being that Steve was pretending it was a mystery novel. Well, most of you probably haven't read big books like that from cover to cover. As you know, I often read long thick books, such as War and peace, Crime and Punishment, Gone with the Wind, Lord of the Ring and Cat in the Hat (unabridged version with the Mass Murdering Lemur, the Scorpion form Hell and a 'country and western' singer ... they left most of it out of the childrens version due to the 'country and western' singer! Really scarey horror stuff.) Without furthur adieu, here are the crib notes for what the plot really is, what's happening and who is who in Oxford, English Dick and Harry: Context: Oxford, English, Dick and Harry is possibly one of the most important literature pieces since Go Dog Go. So important and popular, it has lead to many immitations including Webster English Dick and Harry (which apprently includes that little guy from that US TV Sitcom), and MacQuarie Australian English Dick and Harry. So immatative were these, that their structure and plot are almost identicle, even with the chapters being lettered rather than numbered. It is amazing that the original author of Oxford English Dick and Harry didn't sue the writers of these immitative books. The author of Scabble Reverse Dick and Harry probably came close to a law suit as well. Summary: It's beleived that the entire novel may have been a combination of beatnik word assocaiation and a surrealistic dream. Some have sugegsted that it might in fact be a joint dream between Dick and Harry, beleiving a mystical flux, possibly of divine origin caused this. The leaning towards this understand weighing heavily on the fact that all these words actually appear in the novel. Of course, another education opinion is that it is a 'bucket load of f*cking sh*t', with the evidence being cited that those words also appear in the novel. An orangutan who was shown the book chewed the middle section. It's beleived he was the best critic and was given a banana as payment. Characters: Oxford - Never actually mentioned in the book by name, but the entire plot eludes to this character (whose ambiguous gender leaves a lot of questions, perhaps more questions than answers) English - breifly mentioned in Chapter E, English is part of the driving force in the novel. It's beleived that without this character the novel could not have been written. Dick and Harry - Escapees from the Dick and Jane books, they don't get mentioned at all in the novel. The importance of these characters comes across when you realise the imatative novels also include them in the title. Plot Ploys: During chapter I it's beleived Dick may have gone insane thus setting up chapter K to introduce the killer who eventually murders (chapter M) which Harry sees as a Vision (chapter V). English convolutes into a conflagrated soliloquy eschewing sagasciousness in favor of irrationalism and self engrandisment (see Chapter G - Government) Symbolism (Chapter S) of Oxford throughout the novel representing and suggesting that maybe we will never truely understand what the author was really on about. (Or using). Chapters: A - Aardvarks aligned with aliens affect ants accepting anthrax from angry aligators. B - Basket baking buffalos balk at being born backwards before beating boars into bacon. C - Caked in cat crap, civets conclude that crabs clicking conastas could cut cheese. D - Dung doing dingoes dig for dirty dog dossiers delivering dark democracy. E - Even effervecing eels elude to elephant egos in egalatarian examples. F - Failing flamingoes futures fall for four fortnights frightening financial facilitators. G - Guerrillas gang with gastly gorillas to grant great geese greasing goo guns. H - Horrendous hoodoo hippopotami hunt hypnotic hookers who hurt hopeful hooligans. I - Inflamed indiginous Incas include intimate information in icy igloos. J - Jumping Jiu Jitsu jousters join junior jitterbugs jiving joyfully. K - Karate Kangaroo killers keep kicking kindergarten knights in the knuts! L - Leftwing Lemons like licking lesbians, leaving loony lepers to leap lazy lackies. M - Many musing magi meet making mosquitoes merry men. N - No naughty nouns near new neighbours nightly noodles needs nine novel nexus nixed. O - Overly overt omlettes obscure organised orthodox oranghutans. P - Plenty of peeping peccants fall prey to police ploys due to peoples perplexed psychosis. Q - Quarter of quarantined queer queens quit quietly while quixotically and quickly queezing. R - Rebel robots rid rodents of regal royals. Rivals reap rich rice rewards. S - Sneaky snaking sabre swinging swines sing seven songs of sorrow. T - Ten typical tycoons take twice the total tidbits through time tracking trickiness. U - Unrelated uncles uselessly untie ugly undergraduates tied with umbilical and uterine utensils. V - Very venomous vipers vie for vituperating vixons on vexing voodoo vision. W - Weak weeweeing weazels drain themselves. X - X-Raying X-factor xenon likens X (roman numeral for ten) xenophobes to xylophones. Y - Yachting yaks yell yabbering yelps at yawning yclept* yetis. Z - Zetetic zebras zealously zeugma zoo zapping zymotic zygote zombies. (They do Zen) *You might not find this one in a modern dictionary. It's an archaic word for 'named'. Revise List:
  • Alien Abduction Tale Part III
  • Baggy Trousers – Why my balls still work!
  • Jungian 'collective unconscious' Versus Hegel's World Spirit thingy (The real deathmatch you wanted to watch!)
  • Crazy Dates I have been on Part III
As per usual, any new suggestions will be added to the list. :-)