How to burp tunes and blow bubbles out your nose.

Return of THE LIST:

How to burp tunes and blow bubbles out your nose. I know you've all been waiting with baited breath for this one. Not because you don't know how to do either of these, but simply because it takes us all back to our childhoods. A young carefree time, where we used to do these things, and sort of get away with it. I say, 'sort of,' as we were often told off and our parents eventually removed these habits from our idiosyncratic behaviour.

Actually, for the adolescent male, there was probably a time when they first started drinking (some time between twelve for the early starters and twenty four for us late bloomers), where we found it extremely funny to swig a beer and belch out our favourite tunes. Come to think of it, some of the more adventurous and less ladylike girls also used to partake. [Some were very good too].

When we were kids, we'd just swallow air and force it into our stomachs. Later on, we all used soft drinks like coke or beer or, well anything bubbly which filled the gut with air. The main problem comes when you end up not expelling all that air while belching the tunes, and it has to come out somewhere else.

After a fun evening when I was in my early twenties, we once returned to another friends place. Still being young, most of us lived at home ... so we had to be extra quiet as the friends parents were asleep upstairs.

Of course, one of my friends had a very runny nose. When it comes time to learn to blow bubbles out your nose, you find that when you are well is not the best time. Also, if you have something which causes dehydration, you can find it difficult to blow bubbles, mainly as the bubble blowing material is either a sticky thick yellow, or a sticky thick green. Neither are very good. What's needed, is the bubble blowing material to be more liquid, and normally this comes from either being at the beginning or the end of a bad cold or flu. Sometimes when the irritation is just occurring, and not much green or yellow is being produced, or sometime after the majority of the material has already been got rid of, and the excessive amount of fluid being put into ones body produces more clear goo than anything else.

Of course, most bubble blowing is often not planned. Often, we just happen to have a lot of fluid up one or two nostrils, and someone says something funny and low and behold we find our nostril blowing a huge bubble we didn't mean to blow. Quickly we are forced to grab the nearest handkerchief or tissue ... or other person's T-Shirt ... you know, and just clean ourselves up.

Imagine now the pressure of sitting quietly in our friend home, trying not to make too much noise. We were practically whispering to ourselves. Of course, with me being me, I find something funny in almost anything, and so I just had to throw the odd one-liner in. This of course made my friends laugh, and in order not to disturb the parents, they then had to stifle aforementioned laughter. Of course, with one of the group having just got over a bad cold, it was his unfortunate place to accidentally blow a huge bubble out his nose.

This cracked us up even more, and more stifling of laughs then had to take place. As I mentioned before, we'd been out that night burping tunes. Your young hero (me) having had belched out too few a tunes had an enormous amount of extraneous air now in ones intestines. While trying to hold in the aforementioned laughter, our young hero unfortunately let a small amount of air out the wrong end. The problem wasn't the amount of air, as it was not much, it also wasn't that the air had any bad odour to it, as it didn't, the problem was the noise was rather high pitched, clear and like a pure note from an orchestral oboe.

Stifling ones laughter became almost impossible, but try as he might, our young hero had a problem. Stifling the laugh just brought forth more musical notes from that end, which caused more laughter, and as such more notes. Everyone was falling around trying not to laugh. More bubbles were coming out of noses and more music. It is true, you can belch music from either end, and our young hero proved it was easily achievable.

The next week, it was decided not to return to that friends house, for fear that a similar incident might cause the parents to awaken. Some say it is nice to wake up with music playing in ones ears, but apparently not my friends parents! :-)

Imagine if they'd got to see the bubbles too, what would they have thought? :-)

The Revised List:

Thesaurus - the dinosaur I can't find in a museum! Tautology, repetition, iteration, duplication - how I fill out my blog posts. :-) Oxford, English Dic and Hary - worlds hardest book to follow the plot of! Alien Abduction Tale Part III Baggy Trousers – Why my balls still work! Jungian 'collective unconscious' Versus Hegel's World Spirit thingy (The real deathmatch you wanted to watch!) Crazy Dates I have been on Part III