Hippo Birdie 2 Me!

Yes, today was my surprise birthday party. Yes, the one I bought the cake for, and helped to plan. Big surprise. :-) Got up ... well, I tought I had slept in, as I heard my mother and brother very early. I didn't know what time it was, as the electricity had gone off three times that morning. (Thanks Western Power! Pttthhhh!) Eventually, after lying in for what I thought was hours, I got up, and it was only 9 AM. By 10 AM everything was ready for my B'day party, and we still had two hours to wait before anyone came over. So I played "Master of Orion" on the computer till everyone arrived. What did I get?: From my Mother and Brother Jeff I got a $50 gift voucher so I could buy some luggage for going to the UK with. From my brother Paul, sister in-law Nerali and their kids (Adam and Cayley), I got $40. From my sister Angella, her hubby Kim, and their kids (Ethan, Joshua and Elijah), I got a RadioHead CD - Pablo Honey (which has their song Creep on it, though I already have that on another compilation album somewhere). We sat around, and ate, and talked for a few hours. At about 2 PM, my sister in law declared they needed to leave. We hadn't even had cake by that stage. My brother in law Kim wanted us all to go for a walk to get rid of some of the excess fat we'd had from eating pizza. I'd eaten an entire family pizza to myself, which isn't unusual, and got to recount my bucks night story. BUCK'S NIGHT STORY On my buck's night, we got to go to Pizza hut. Before entering, my group of twenty or so friends paddlocked a ball and chain to my leg. A real one! One problem, Pizza Hut doesn't allow buck's nights in the restaurant. I broke into the back of my friend Squids car, and chiselled the ball off. I still had the chain around my leg, so I hid that by rolling my jeans over the top of it. They told Pizza hut it was a party for my Birthday. I ordered a Family Pan Size Vegetarian Pizza. One of the guys at the party bet my $5 I couldn't eat it. He lost his $5. What I hadn't known, was that in order to make our "Birthday Party" story more believable, two of the guys had bought a cake. Apparently, when they ran down the road and bought some padlocks for the ball and chain, they'd seen the cake store open, and thought it was too great an opportunity to pass up. So, imagine my surprise, when the staff of Pizza Hut came out with a cake, with candles on it, all singing "Happy Birthday" to me. I gave a really good speach about how it was the "best Birthday I'd ever had". *wipes tear from eye* "What a great lot of friends I have!" hee hee We then went to see "Hunt for Red October" (this was 1990). After the movie, they placed chains around my ankles ... but I escaped ... but when one of my chasing friends fell over on the road, I stopped to help him up, because I thought he'd got really badly hurt. Bad move. They caught me. But soon after, I escaped again, and was off running down the road with chains around my ankles. I heard one of the guys go, "he won't get very far." Then another one said, "hey! He's getting away! He might make it." Then, they all gave chase again. They caught me. They were dragging me down the road, when the police drove past. I started screaming, "They're kidnapping me! They're Kidnapping ME! COME BACK!" The police just drove by waving! B@$tard$!!!! The guys took me down to Cronulla Mall and chained me to one of the seats there. They stuck a coke bottle just out of reach for me. One of the security guards came along and wanted to know what was happening. He thought something was up, and was going to ask us to move along. Once they said, "It's his bucks night" the security guard decided to stay and watch! After a while, we were due to meet up with the hens night at a flat in Woolooware. So they drove us back to the flat. While we were there, they were teasing me with the keys to the padlocks. Just as a joke, one of the guys decided to throw the keys off the balconey thinking I'd never find them in the dark before they could catch me. So off I went, running down the stairs. I could hear them laughing, "He'll never find them! No way!" I did the normal devious thing I woud do! I didn't go to the right of the flat to look for the keys, I went left. Straight out the door, under the fence and onto the soccer oval next door. I just kept running. Out the gate of the soccer oval. I could hear them back at the flat. "We'd he go? Is he hiding behind one of the cars?" While they were confused, I was out of the soccer oval and onto the street, across the road. It was just a matter of hiding behind trees or bushes everytime one of the cars drove past. I could clearly see them hangin gout of the windows, driving slowly really looking hard for me. Several cars from the party drove past me. I had a couple of kilometres to get to the Church where my car was parked ... all with chains on my ankles and wrists. I made it. I thought they'd be back at the church waiting for me! Nope! not one of them thought I'd make it. So, even though I was rather inhibited in my feet and wrist department, I still drove my car away. I drove to a place behind the local station where I figured they'd never look. I got into the boot of my car to get my tools, and was trying to remove the chains! A drunk came along and asked what I was doing. I explained, "It's my bucks night, and I escaped!" He said, you'd be better off driving to the hospital and asking the ambulance guys to cut them off. For a drunk, he was pretty smart! So, back into my car, and off to the local Emergency Ambulance. I was wandering aroudn trying to figure out ho you get into the place, when a guy in boxer shorts came out one of the door. He wanted to know who I was and what I was doing wandering around at night. Apparently, the ambulance guys sleep there, and only get up when they have an actual emergency to attend to. I explained my predicament. He agreed to cut the chains off. So, I now had a genuine Ball and chain ... in lot's of little pieces. I drove home. I got there, and was really paranoid someone would be there. So I did the old, commando sneaking around my own block of flats type thing, trying to ensure no one would see me. I went up to my flat. No one there, not even my flatmate Paul. Weird. I drove back to the party, just to see if they had returned. I arrived to see all the cars driving off. I figured they'd all gone home for the night. So, off home I went again. I waited. Waited. Waited. nothing. So I went to bed. About half an hour later, I heard voices. My flatmate had arrived home and he was talking to whoever had given him a lift home. They were worried, as no one knew what had happened to me! I went out and had a nice conversation with my flatmate explaining where I'd been and what I'd got up to. Apparently, Christine (my fiance at the time) was really worried about what had happened. No one knew where I'd got to. I was really glad I'd escaped, as I heard what happened after I'd gone. Apparently, with te buck missing, they decided that someone had to be substituted, and Squid obliged. They basically stripped him down, stuck him in a lycra suit and stuck his underpants on the outside! Imagine if it had been me! Ewwwww! Actually, imagine my friend Squid! Ewwwwww! Well, some otherweird things were done to Squid, which I can't remember, but as my flatmate Paul told me about them, I could only think, "Geee's good thing it wasn't me!" Next wedding, I'm not having a bucks night. Bring out the Cake Well, after recounting my story, my brother and brother in-law recounted theirs. Theirs had more to do with strip joints and stuff. Nothing exciting like "The Great Escape!" We then had the cake and took pictures of us all pulling weird faces (which is normal for our family! No good pictures ever, just pulling faces!) When I took my first bite of the cake, it went down the wrong tube. So I got to choke on my own birthday cake. They all started saying it was insulting to my mother (whom they believed had baked the cake!) My mother pointed out, I'd bought the cake. This made them laugh! Shortly after the cake, they all decided to leave. It was 3 PM by this stage. I thanked them all, and off they all went! I then went back to playing "Master of Orion II" on the computer and won! (Like I always do!) And that was the day! :-)