Fatter Than EVAR!!!

I really need to marry an Accountant. Not that accounting is hard. It's not difficult at all ... just, I'd prefer to do creative things. Anyway, I set up all my reporting in easy to use spreadsheets yesterday so that I won't take as long as I need to in future. I weighed myself yesterday ... and I'm back to 100kg! WTFrigg!!!! That's the MOST I've ever weighed in my life ... and I'm back there!!! OWWWWWW! I just weighed myself then ... and I'm at 101kg ... that's a NEW FAT RECORD for me! OWWWWWW! I blame this stupid leg. When I got up this morning, a huge yellow and greenish coloured bruise was on the back of my leg. It'snow not as noticable, but it's still there, and the leg still hurts! OUCH!!!! Once I get the leg functioning again, I'll be able to exercise and get rid of the flab!!! I AM SO FAT. Even whales stand next to me just to look thin. [Yes, I realise whales don't have a leg to stand on!] ONE ONE ONE ONE !!!!!111111wanwanwanwanwan!!!!1111ELEVENELEVEN Worst thing is, I am HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY ... like a friggin' hippo that escaped from fatland while eating a million jelly donuts with room for a million more in it's tummy!!!!! Soooo hungry!!!! I better finish my business reporting and stuff and fax it through ... else, I'll incur fines or have my business shut down! But ... I'm ... so ... hungry ... ...