Jeff's Burpday!

It's my brother Jeff's Burpday. He's on holidays, so what do you think he did? First, he had some big complain to my mother ... yelled at her a bit ... My mother puts it down to Jeff feeling that he's finally reached 36, and still hasn't had a GF, let alone a wife & kids. He's frustrated, and lonely, and as my mother put it, he's taking it out on the rest of us. I bought him two Warhammer Carrion (Skeleton Vultures). He has a huge Tomb King Army (which looks very good, but is a pretty weak army if you ask me). [This is apposed to my huge Brettonian Army and my huge High Elf Army. I had to go High Elf just because of my mother's maiden name, Elven] :-)

My mother bought him four DVD's about trains. (Documentaries). A lot of people in our family tell me he likes trains ... but you know what, I've never ever heard him say he likes them. I guess he does, as he has never complained that he doesn't like trains. (And for him not to complain would be amazing). Anyway, anyone out their want to be my sister in-law??? My brother then decided to go for a long walk. I got a phone call which went something like this. J: Is mum there? D: She's in the shower. What's wrong? J: I've just used the scales at three different chemists in Gosnells, and mum's scales are out by five kilograms. D: So? J: So, they're wrong. They need to be fixed. Can I speak to mum? D: She's in the shower. J: But I need to tell her about her scales. D: Can this wait till you get home? -SLAM!- My mother talked to me a little, and said that I need to take Jeff somewhere to meet women ... but not a pub ... I suggested a speed dating night. Nope, mum didn't like that idea, as five minutes isn't long enough to get to know someone. D: First impressions are often correct. M: No their not. I knew your father for ages and he hid his real self from me for years. [Yes, that actually says a lot. People who hid their real self CAN do it for years. What's the difference between five minutes and five years? Not much to the evil people in the world!] Anyway, she raved on about how my cousin went to a hotel for singles and met her current husband. I told her, 'that's called a pub mum.' 'No, it's a hotel.' 'Yes, a pub!' 'Oh, yeah!' Anyway, it's now been thrust upon me that I have to get my brother married off somehow ... like ... um ... yeah. I know what happens next. If I start to try to set him up, he'll immediately reject anyone I suggest under the complaint that he doesnt' need to be set up. SOOOOooooooOOOOoooo, I am wondering how I am going to auction him off? He's a low income earner, little chance of a pay increase, he has a habit of attacking (verbally yelling) at people when he's frustrated by life (I fear for his future wife and kids if he doesn't learn to direct his anger at the problem and away from people!) Other than that, he does have a very kind heart. He's a nice guy ... and he probably does really need someone. One other thing though, whoever he marries might walk all over him. He's a little like that ... I think it's another 'impossible task' my mother has thrust upon me (even though like a lot of her tasks, I never actually accept them, nor do I want them. but, she tells me I have to do it, and even when I say, 'No, I won't.' she still expects me to do it. Which part of 'No' dont' my family understand? Oh, that's right, the 'N' bit and the 'O' bit!) Anyway, Jeff came home, and his fixing his car. He's now in a good mood as he found the problem was the fan belt had fallen off ... he borrowed my car and went and bought a new one. Thank goodness for that. His car now works fine! Guess it is a little bit of a happy Burpday for him after all. Oh, and we have chocolate MUD CAKE for dinner ... I'm gonna be sick as a DOG! :-)