The Blog of Dabido (the Baka one). Everything in this blog is copyrighted. Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006 by D. Stevenson.

30 November, 2005

Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars Part 5

Shou Nishimura was the head of the 'Undercover, Monkey Training, Hamster Feed Pellet Shooting Yakuza Gang'. They liked to shorten the name to 'UMTHamFePeShoYa Gang', which in turn got shortened to just 'UMTHam' and lately just 'UM'. His right hand man was Ryota Miyamoto. There wasn't much further these two men could progress in the organisation, especially as they were the only two in the gang. It wasn't always that way though. A few short years ago, when Shou and Ryota were just recruits, the rest of the gang were killed in a bloody shoot out with the, 'Beer Guzzling, Dragon Eating, Power Team Sufficient Yakuza Gang'. The whole incident occurred when a complimentary barrel of beer was delivered to the combined Yakuza Gangs 'Forget the Year' party. Both gangs had decided to split the bill evenly. Ten kegs of beer each, each of the two gangs paying for the kegs they were to consume. As the truck was being unloaded, the truck driver informed them, that as an end of year special, a complimentary keg of beer was being given away with every twenty kegs ordered. What followed was pandemonium. The Beer Guzzling gang decided they should have the extra beer, as they at least had the word 'beer' in their name and as such had a reputation to uphold. UM thought they keg should have been split between the two gangs, for after all, they did pay for half the beer. No one was really sure who pushed who first, but soon many of them were pushing each other. The pushing turned into punching, then kicking, then stabbing, shooting, screaming, and pulling of hair. Shou and Ryoka, being rather young novices at the time, thought it was all part of the proceedings. They grabbed the extra barrel and sat back drinking, watching what they believed was a normal Yakuza party. Two of the beer guzzlers novices noticed that Shou and Ryoka had the extra keg, and immediately joined them in drinking it all. By the end of the night, all four had passed out. They awoke to find themselves the only four survivors of the night and stuck in a police cell. The police questioned them, but were unable to get anything concrete from any of the young men, as they had all been completely blind drunk at the time. Yes, there had been a fight. Yes, there had been shooting. Yes, people had been killed. Who had been killed? Everyone. Who fired the first shot? I don't know! What were you doing at the time? Drinking beer. Why didn't you join in the fight, or try to stop it? We thought it was all part of the proceedings. In the end, the police had to let them go. It was obvious the four young men didn't have a clue. Upon returning to UM headquarters, Shou, who was the senior of the two recruits, became head of that Yakuza gang. Shou had been born on the fourth of January nineteen seventy seven, while Ryoka had been born on the fourth of August of the same year. Those seven months had made all the difference to who inherited the Yakuza Gangs top position. There was no hard feelings between the two rival Yakuza gangs, and the Beer Guzzlers arranged a night out on the town. They had heard about the 'Gay Hamster Bar' and decided it was a good nights entertainment watching gay hamsters getting it on. They invited Shou and Ryota along for the fun. Shou and Ryota had been planning on seeing the new 'Godzilla Versus Joan of Arc' movie. The night at the Gay Hamster Bar sounded a lot better. After all, the Hollywood franchising of movies had got a little out of control. They take one character and exploit it every way they can, T-Shirts, marketing, DVD's, CD's, games, toothpaste, vibrators, glue, bank loans ... you name it, Hollywood was taking a slice of the pie. It was almost enough for Shou to burn his 'Hello Kitty' gun holster, but he decided against it, after all, it was a present from his mother.