The Blog of Dabido (the Baka one). Everything in this blog is copyrighted. Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006 by D. Stevenson.

29 November, 2005

Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars

Kenji arrived back at the Gay Hamster bar at eleven in the morning. He was still half asleep with the thumping of techno beats still running through his head. What a night. He was a bit confused too. Niku and Deibetto had turned up with two of the best looking women he had ever seen. They both must have been about twenty years old, and somehow those two geeks had successfully hit on them. Maybe they were both after their money. It did not make much sense to Kenji. He had known both Deibetto and Niku for years, and he had never seen them have much luck with the ladies. Those two girls could dance too. They must have been professionals or something. How do two geeks pick up two professional dancers? What were their names? Megumi and Melisa. Weird. Kenji just could not get it through his head. And why did Deibetto have those huge marks on his neck. Love bites! He had obviously started the romance a little early that night with his new girlfriend. She must have been a go'er, it looked like she'd bitten him a couple of times. He sat at the bar going through the books for the previous night. The beer delivery should arrive shortly, he thought. He was rubbing his head and looked up towards the hamster cage. 'Eh?' he said to himself. One end of the hamster cage was completely shattered. Amongst the shattered glass lay Arlo, unconscious and looking very wounded. The poor hamster had been shot by something. Kenji looked around. James and George were missing. Kenji looked high and low for them. They had to be in the bar somewhere. He did not have time to look. Arlo needed medical attention and he needed it soon. He had to assume George and James were okay. Maybe they had been shot as well and were lying in the dark somewhere. He looked around again, behind chairs, behind tables. He could not see them anywhere. He picked up Arlo, gently craddling him and wrapped him in a bar towel. He raced out the back to his car and drove Arlo to the nearest vetinarian. As it was an emergency, they looked at Arlo almost immediately. The doctor was amazed at the wounds Arlo had suffered. Someone had shot him using Hamster Feed Pellets. What sort of sick maniac creates a gun which can shoot feed pellets? The gun would not be leathal to a human, but hit a hamster enough times with it, and you can possibly kill them. Kenji had made it just in time. Poor Arlo was in need of a lot of attention and was going to be kept in the animal hospital for a few days. The doctor also noticed something else which was unusual. Arlo was beginning to grow some opposable thumbs. Not realising it was a mutation caused by Deibetto's elixir, the doctor wondered at the unusual deformity the hamster had on it's paws. Kenji left Arlo at the animal hospital. He returned to search for James and George. Maybe they were in a similar condition somewhere. Lying in a pool of their own hamster blood. He searched through the bar. Every cupboard, behind every refridgerator and every stove in the kitchen. He could not find them anywhere. He did find something strange though. One of the upper windows had been broken. It was too small for a human to fit through, and there were some hamster droppings on the window ledge. He had to wonder if someone had trained a monkey to use a pellet gun. They then smashed the glass and let the monkey in to attack the hamsters. He assumed it was some jealous rival. Maybe the Yakuza! The undercover, monkey training, hamster feed pellet shooting Yakuza! Yes, it had to be them! He had never heard of them before, but he knew they must exist. What other possible explaination could there be for this to have occurred?