Before I get started, here is the REVISED list - I chopped the top off the list. You can link to the other parts from 1. (Fight or Flight)
- Fight or Flight? How to run away like a real hero.
- What Beatles Songs REALLY mean.
- My secret life as a sex god.
- How to burp tunes and blow bubbles out your nose.
- Thesaurus - the dinosaur I can't find in a museum!
- Tautology, repeatition, iteration, duplication - how I fill out my blog posts. :-)
- Oxford, English Dic and Hary - worlds hardest book to follow the plot of!
- Alien Abduction Tale Part II (Original will appear on Minishorts site on Oct 22nd)
- The Day I became a Neurosurgeon
- The Art of Dumping a Girl You're Not Even Going Out With
- Baggy Trousers – Why my balls still work!
- Eddie – The guy who couldn't get a Date
- Rolf Harris
What Beatles Songs REALLY Mean.
A long, long time ago, in a Galaxy far, far away, I used to be in a rock band. My lead guitarist was a guy named Brett. Brett absolutely loved the Beatles. One day, while we were speaking, I asked which were his favourite Beatles songs.
He said, 'The ones which don't make any sense.'
I replied, 'But, they all make sense! Why don't you think they make sense?'
'Well they don't! They were all off their rockers on drugs in the later years and didn't know what they were writing.'
I had to disagree and asked him to give and example of a song which didn't make sense.
The first song he chose was 'She Came In Through The Bathroom Window.'
'Ah,' I said. 'That makes perfect sense, it was written by Paul MacCartney about the time some girls broke into his house while he was away.'
'But,' replied poor Brett. 'What's it mean when he says "protected by her silver spoon"? Surely she didn't think a spoon could be used as a weapon.'
'Of course not Brett. Haven't you ever heard the saying, "born with a Silver Spoon in your mouth"? It means being born lucky. So she was being protected by her luck.'
'Oh, then what's the song "Sexy Sadie" about?'
'That young Brett, was written by Lennon after he became disillussioned by the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi."
"But! But! Isnt' "Lucy in he Sky with Diamonds" about LSD?'
"Nope! Wrong again! John wrote it about a painting his son Julian had done. When he aked Julian what the painting was, he said it was "Lucy in the sky with Diamonds", and that's how the song got it's name."
'Really? Then tell me what the song lyrics mean.
Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog’s eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob.
Come on, tell me what they mean?'
'Um ... er ... ah ... well obviously John was completely drugged off his nut when he wrote THOSE ones!!!'
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