The Blog of Dabido (the Baka one). Everything in this blog is copyrighted. Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006 by D. Stevenson.

14 July, 2005

Imagine you are in a toilet stall ... and there is a suspiscious looking package in there too!

Okay - longest title ever I think! Today, had an interview - went really well. In fact, I might be the only person I know who actually FITS the necessary requirements. WHY? Well, it requires in depth knowledge of Cisco products and IT in general - PLUS it also requires marketing experience & qualifications! Having a Marketing Certificate, and worked for AGB McNair as well as Toyota in their Sales Department, the Marketing bit is easy - having worked in IT for seventeen years including three and a half years in NETWORKING using Cisco and Nortel equipment, plus having done the InterConnecting Cisco Network Devices course (ICCND) I think i am well placed for this job. Pays $75K a year PLUS $75K if all sales targets are met (which is apparently $3 Million in sales). So a potential $150,000 if all goes well - and $75,000 if all doesn't go well. Do I want this job? Oh YEAH! Anyway, the first interview went really well - and the second is being set up for next week. I think it went well, as they've already had me sign the TAX Declaration form - Woo hoo! We'll see how the interview goes though. Apparently, the next one is REALLY GRUELLING - and everyone so far has failed to impress the interviewers - mainly due to lack of technical knowledge. Guess what I'll be doing this weekend - visiting the Cisco site and memorising EVERYTHING my little brain can on the subject of ALL their equipment (as well as brushing up on my Marketing stuff - Product, Price, Placement, Promotion! Oh yeah the Four P's!) WARNING - Next bit contains some words of an explicite nature! Speaking of P's - after the interview, I had to go for one. Well, I got to the Bus depot (one of the few 'pee for free' sites in Perth), and went into the toilet. I hate peeing in public, so I went into the far stall - and as I entered, there was a suspiscious looking package in the corner! Oh dear! What to do - I was dying to pee ... but, would that mean I'd literally Die IF I Pee'd???? I took the chance. Nothing worse than wettign yourself in public ... but, what if it IS a BOMB! What if it GOES OFF WHILE I AM PEEING! WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO MY ... UM ... You know! What will happen to that? What if I survive and my thingy has been blown away? Or worse, I die, and they put out a notice on TV - looking to identify the body of man blown up in a toilet today - has no penis!!! How embarrasing when everntually they identify me and release my name on TV. Today, the Penisless man has been identified. One Baka Dabido! All my friends would be like! Geees, we knew he wasn't mucho, but PENISLESS! Oh gees! The poor guy. No wonder his wife left him for a man with a penis! Bet he had a hard time ... oh wait, no, not a hard time ... difficult time having sex! Or the other scenario of me surviving. Doctor: We're sorry Mr Dabido, but we could save everything except your penis! Don't worry, we're sure you can lead a fulfilling life still! Dabido: What are you talking about! The whole point ofexistance is to get LAID! LAID! LAID! Doctor: Don't worry, we have a large choock we are ready to shove you up the rear end of! You'll be laid in no time! Dabido: Waaaaaaaaaah! Wrong sort of getting LAID! You can imagine my friends get well card. HOW'S IT HANGING! OH IT'S NOT ANYMORE! GET WELL SOON DUDE ... UM .. DUDETTE ... OH GEES, WHAT ARE YOU NOW? UNIQUE? Well fortunately, I was able to pee without anything exploding! Then I had to flush the toilet! Um, what if some smartarse terrorist has rigged the bomb to explode when I pressed the flush button! Oh geeesssss ... replay of above thoughts - only at least I didn't have my pants unzipped this time! When they fidn my genitils at least they'll have burnt cotton covering them! Well, I flushed it, as I really can't stand unflushed toilets - good , nothing exploded! What to do? I washed my hands and went to the Infomation Desk. I informed the lady behind the counter that there was a suspiscious package in the end stall of the mens room. I told her, it's probably nothing, but, you know, after London, I just want to be sure it's nothing. She grabbed the security guard. I went with him back to the mens room and showed him where the package was. He was on his walkie talkie the entire time. "Yeah, Meet me at the mens room! Yeah, another suspiscious package!" "Another one?" I asked him. "Yeah, we had one yesterday too," he told me. Okay great - I'm not the only jumpy person on the planet. Then, before the other person he was speaking to could arrive, he walked into the stall, picked up the plastic bag and the T-Shirt in the corner! SHOCK! Okay, there wasn't a bomb or anything, nothing exploded! That didn't shock me! I wasn't expecting it to be anyway - but the way the guys just walked into the stall and picked it all up! That SHOCKED ME! What if it had been a bomb? Just picking it up like that could have detonated it! Was was he thinking? Sure, his ample frame might have saved me from some of the blast - I'd rather get sprayed with bits of security guard than have my penis blown off, but SURELY! SURELY! Surely, the correct procedure would have involved carefully LOOKING INTO THE PACKAGE BEFORE PICKING IT UP! Anyway, upon discovering it was all harmless and stuff, I felt really stupid! Yes, I'd wasted the guys time over a plastic bag and a T-shirt which had been discarded and thrown into the corner of the toilet stall. The guy thanked me for my diligence and stuff, but somewhere in my brain was still a thought reverberating around ... "Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!" I'ts like those terrorists are playing an April fools day joke on us all. Of course, if a terrorist had left a package there - well, I probably could have been blown apart either while peeing - when flushing - or when the security guard picked the bag and T-shirt up! Of course, what terrorists want is for us to go back to ignoring all potential bombs. Well, I felt like a fool - but at leat I am an alive fool. Next time I migh tnot follow the guard back into the toilet to show him where it is. I'll just wait with the info desk lady and see if he comes back, or if there is a loud KABOOOOM and bits of him fly past! Well, I got home and informed my mother of what happened. She agreed that I shouldn't feel liek a fool. With Australia being a potential Terrorist target (after Bali, Sept. 11 and now London) it's always good to be on our toes.
I later went to work at the PCYC and told them about my day. Was good. Not much to do this afternoon. Back to work tomorrow morning. Should be good. Got home - one of the e-mails sent to me was an invitation to sample RARE WAGYU BEEF. Um yeah, as a vegetarian who is broke I really want to pay $65 to sample something that potentially can send me into anaphalactic shock (remember I'm allergic to Pork - possibly am to beef too). Anyway, that made me laugh a little.