The Blog of Dabido (the Baka one). Everything in this blog is copyrighted. Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006 by D. Stevenson.

20 July, 2005

Don't be afraid of love

I hope you all had a great day. How was it anyway? {Click on the little 'comment' link at the end of the post to reply}. Well, my day was spent talking to Government Departments. I liked the letter I received. It said, "You must reply to this letter. It is the Law." So, I phoned them up and spoke to them. I explained my situation to the lady at the other end - and she refered me to another Department. Actually, she refered me to the DERW - which is who I wrote MY letter to the other week. So, I then spoke to them on the phone - my voice was horse by that stage. (No jokes about the singing pony with the croaky voice. Yes, he's a little horse! Oh, I said no jokes! Darn!) Well, after talking to the DEWR over the phone - I discovered some interesting facts - I find it funny that these things are kept as deep dark secrets by Government Departments etc. Unless you are complaining about them NOT taking the appropriate response, they never tell you HOW you should have made an appropriate response in the first place. Hopefully things will sort themselves out.
Don't Be AFRAID OF LOVE! I had written a LOT on the previous part of my day (aka talking to Government Departments), but something else came up while I was writing. A friend sent me a message - part of it was about BEING AFRAID TO LOVE because she'd been hurt before. My message to the world -DON'T BE AFRAID TO LOVE. One thing I have learnt (and I have loved, lost and been VERY badly hurt before), is that you can always fall in love again. During our teenage years, I think most of us had GF's or BF's who cheated on us (appologies to you 60 year olds still waiting for your first BF or GF). Or at least know of BF's or GF's who cheated on our friends and hurt them. Yeah, it bloody hurts and it hurts lots. I remember when I was once talking to one of my gay friends during my marriage break up - now gays can't ge married in my country - but they still suffer break ups and stuff - and HE was telling me about the hurt he'd suffered in the past because of break ups etc. It was good to have someone nice to talk to who could empathise with what I was going through. Now, my friend today - she isn't suffering a break up - she was just telling me she is afraid to fall in love because she is afraid of the hurt. Well, hurt is a part of being in love. When you love someone - one day, they will eventually leave you - whether for someone else, or because you die, or because they die. It will hurt, and it hurts because losing them is the worst thing that can happen - but it is going to happen. (Okay, so far that is probably just re-inforcing the 'dont' fall in love side of the arguement) BUT - and this is the point - Being in Love is such a good feeling and is probably THE greatest feeling you can ever experience. (Okay, as a guy I have NO idea what a female orgasm is like - so if there are females out there who disagree with Love versus Orgasm, then please let me know!) So, what would you prefer in life - to never love and never experience what it is like to BE loved - or go through life with LOVE LOVE LOVE- it's true it will eventually hurt - but it hurts only because it was so good. If someone takes something you don't want from you, you wouldn't care. Say you ahve a BAG of durian skins - smelly as anything - if someone steals it, would you get upset and cry? I doubt it, because you really don't want a bag of durian skins. (And if you did - then I am sure the next person you find pealing durian will gladly let you take the skin away for free). Say you have a bag with your most treasured possession in it. If someone stole that THEN you would be upset. See how the hurt only occurs because it is something you value. Love is the same - if it had NO VALUE then you wouldn't care if someone cheated on you - or ran off with someone else or died or anything. The experience of having that value in your life is what makes love so important, and why I think people should not avoid it in the hope of not getting hurt. I also have a sneaking suspiscion, that if someone REALLY loved someone else, they wouldn't just end it in order to avoid the pain of losing them later. They would be so in love, that they COULDN'T give them up in order to avoid the pain. A true LOVE would conquer the avoidance of pain. Just my two cents.
Another thing I wanted to include - because I was talking to my friend about people cheating on other people. Was some lyrics from this song I wrote back in 1997. The song came about because I was catching the train home at about 10 PM at night (Yeah, I used to leave work late). On the train, this young pretty girl was crying, becuase her BF had been cheating with her friend. All three of them were on the train. Well, the guy came up to her, and was trying to console her and make it all seem okay - and he convinced her to get back with him. Personnally, I think that guy is scum. How can you cheat on your GF with her friend and then pretend it was nothing? Anyway - the one thing I thought was, that girl is so pretty she could have ANY guy she wanted! YES, TRUE! but she was getting back with this guy, because she was afraid she would end up alone! Guess what people - never be afraid to end up alone - it's as bad as being afraid you will be hurt by love. Anyway - the lyrics are these:
And she's so pretty, How I wish she were mine, She could have anyone Her heart desires.
It's funny how fear on one hand will make someone stay with someone who doesn't deserve them - on the other hand, it will make someone avoid relationships in fear of being hurt. My suggetion - some moderation - and wear a Teflon suit - anyone worth loving will tear their way through a Teflon suit to be with you, while the rest will just slip off. :-) My suit is still in tact. :-)