Travel Warning!!!

Spent the day re-writing my Resume - adding a Skills Matrix and a little about what I've been up to over the last two and a half years. Just getting ready for my return to IT when I hit the UK (as it will be easiest market to break into when I get there). I'll work on getting into the music/writing/art markets once I get some money behind me. After all, I'm not taking any musical instruments/art stationery with me. It'll be me, my clothes and hopefully a Laptop of some description. (Plus cameras) Anyway, I decided to read the Australian Govenments Travel web site. Apparently, it's telling Australian NOT to travel to Malaysia, as we are likely to get kidnapped or killed ... actually, this is what it says: Australians in Malaysia should exercise a high degree of caution, particularly in commercial and public areas known to be frequented by foreigners. The risk of terrorist attack against Western interests in Malaysia remains. Wow! I guess I better hide in the back alleys where the terrorists can't possibly be hiding! I'll just get mugged and killed by an ordinary street thug instead!!! :-) Anyway, I am sure when I get there, lots of my friends will protect me from evil terrorists which Australia knows lurk under everyones beds with the monsters and the loch ness monster. Here is the travel warning for the UK: Australians in the United Kingdom are advised to be alert to their own security. As you would in Australia, use common sense and be alert to suspicious activities. Yep! Keep your eye out for Pedaphile preists and dope pushing politicians! (Amongst others). The Japanese advice is the same as the UK advice. So I'll just look out for the same but add rogue sumo wrestlers and Yakuza Ninja bitches to the mix. Though Japan is a lot safer than the UK - mainly as I won't know when I am being mugged, as they are so polite over there. "Hajimemashite" "Oh, Konban wa young sir." "Hand over wallet, kudasai!" "Why, you are so polite, I'll just comply with your every request. Here it is." "Doumo Arigato Goazaimasu Baka Gaijin Kimpatsu." "What a nice polite young man. Wonder where he got the scar on his face from? Oh, and now he is playing chasy with that nice young police man! Such a nice country." As I walk off oblivious to the fact I've been robbed blind! But such a polite country! Arigato! Hmmm, reminds me of an article I read in the Japan times. A NHK camera crew were doing a report on the pickpockets in Rome, and warning Japanese travellers to be careful when they go there. While filming, the young pickpockets ran off with all their camera and sound equipment. Good thing they could reshoot with actual evidence and factual detail as to how the pick pockets work! Um ... except they were missing camera and sound equipment. Wonder who's pay that got taken out of!? Actually, part of the Japan warning is this: Incidents of drink spiking leading to sexual assault have occurred in and around the Tokyo area, though appear to be restricted to bars frequented by foreigners, including in the Roppongi district. Guess I'm off to Roppongi to see if it's true. I can do with some sexy Japanese girl spiking my drink and sexually assaulting me! [Megumi, where are you?] I'll just make sure I don't accept any drinks from men. :-) Oh well. I'm still trying to decide whether to Fly into KL, then take a bus to Penang and then fly from Penang to Tokyo (or Nagoya) ...OR... if I should fly to Penang, then bus it down to KL and fly to Tokyo (or Nagoya) from there ... OR ... if I fly to KL, bus to Penang, bus back to KL then fly to Tokyo (or Nagoya). So many decisions. The only real one I've made (and I still have two months left to get it right), is I am flying Perth to Sydney to begin with. After that, to Malaysia, then Japan then UK. Of course, the Bus might be swapped for a flight if my travel agent advises. (After all, I don't want to be kidnapped by terrorist bus drivers ... not unless it is in Japan & they are sexy Japanese bus drivers!) Oh Japan! My beloved Japan! I am coming! Um ... that is I am going there. Not coming as in "iku iku iku", that would be embarrassing. If that does start to happen, I'll have to rush into the aircraft toilets - be the first man to join the mile high club without even wanting too! I better grab an airhostess on the way. (Provided she is willing of course ... but how could they resist me ... oh that's right - a karate chop to the loin area! Darn Japanese Hostesses know their karate!) Wonder if they're into Horizontal Sumo? Actually, I used that phrase in Sydney as a joke with some Japanese friends. They didn't have a clue what I was on about! I had to explain it to them. Apparently, it still wasn't funny. When I pretended to write it down in my invisible note book though, that cracked them up! Oh, and my Japanese is soooo bad still. I always forget to practice and keep forgetting it all! Baka Dabido! How will you ever survive when you get to Tokyo and Nagoya!??? You'll end up eating fish or pork and dying from an Anaphalactic shock! WHERE'S MY EPIPEN!? JAB! Phew! Maybe I need a travelling companion to taste test all the food first and eat all that yummy but evil chocolate that comes my way! Any volunteers? Actually, my local library has a "Japanese presentation" set up with many Japanese books available from the library. I had a look on the way out and almost laughed. Most of the books I own or have read - but the ones which almost made me laugh were the "Kung Fu" ones. For those familiar with the different asian martial arts, Kung Fu (or Gung Fu as it is sometimes known) is from CHINA! Which ever librarian chose that book for the presentation obviously hadn't looked to hard at them. They even have some CHINESE WRITING on them! Bwahahahaha! Wonder if that librarian is writing a book or something. I can see the titles now! - "Shoalin Temple meets Godzilla!" - "The Kyoto Boxer Rebellion for Beginners!" - "The Meiji Reformation in Beijing" Ah yes, what well researched works of art they'll be! One booker prize coming up. Here is the Haiku of the movie of the book: Beijing Buddhist monks, Meet Nagoya Buddhist monks, Confusion ensues. Anyway - back to planning. Another sketch of an Itinerary: Aug ~23rd/24th or 25th - Leave Perth for Sydney Aug ~28th/29th or 30th -Leave Sydney for either KL or Penang Sep ~4th/5th or 6th - Leave KL for Penang or Penang for KL (Yes, all depends) Sep ~11th/12th or 13th - Leave Malaysia for either Nagoya or Tokyo Sep ~18th/19th or 20th - Leave Nagoya for Tokyo OR Tokyo for Nagoya. Sep ~25th/26th or 27th - Leave Japan for London (with possible stop over in Canadia or US of Asparagus) Haiku of the Itinerary: Dabido leaves home Travels to places unknown Nobody knows where!