The Blog of Dabido (the Baka one). Everything in this blog is copyrighted. Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006 by D. Stevenson.

15 July, 2006

Superman - Handbag Snatcher [PARTE FOUR]

So began Clarkes decent into the dark side. Being an alien, the funny powder had a slightly different effect than it would on a human. For one thing, when he was coming down off the stuff, because he hadn't eaten in days, he got SUPERMUNCHIES! He also became extremely popular. Every Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and other days, a large crowd of students from SmalleThorpe High would come over to the Clarke Farm. The fact that Clarke had ceased going to school didn't matter. The school and local police had given up trying to get him to go. Also, the local police usually avoided the area. They'd lost several police cars to 'flyin cow incidents' on numerous occassions. So it was, one Friday night, that the usual party occurred. Most of the students didn't mind the Gremlins. They'd at first thought it was the funny white powder causing them to halucinate, but after a while, most drug users begin to have trouble recognising the difference between reality and their trips. So it was, than even when not off the planet on the funny white powder, the the students began to see Gremlins as a normal part of Smallethorpes inhabitants. What Clarke had failed to notice, was the powder was starting to run low. As Clarke had just been partying hard and not tending the crops, there were no more poppies left. They'd all died. Clarke wandered into the living rom that party, and noticed some of the guys watching a strange video. 'What's that guy on the video doing trying to squash that girl?' asked Clarke naively. Harold the Gremlin had to sit him down and give him the talk. It was at this point, that Lana, (totally off her face), asked Clarke to take her upstairs to his bedroom to practice. Clarke decided to give it a try. To cut a long story short, after about fifteen seconds into the act (yes, superman is faster than a speeding bullet), Lana was seen going through the roof and across the sky, never to be seen again. [Thus explaining why Lana is not heard of in later Superman novels]. Not to worry about it though, she landed safely (with a few cuts and bruises from the wooden roof shingles) somewhere in upper Syberia. Thanks to a heavy snowfall and lots of trees, she didn't suffer from the landing. She did have a bit of a hard time explaining to the local Russian military base how she had got there, completely naked and very pregnant. She was a very popular girl after that. Nine days later, she gave birth to supertwins, but, we'll talk about that another day. Meanwhile, back in Smallethorpe, Clarke was a little confused and devestated. With the mysterious disappearance of Lana, the police could no longer ignore what has happening at the Kent Farm. It was suspected murder, but without a body (or Lana phoning from Russia), the police case couldn't come to any conclusion. The suspected Clarke, but couldn't quite place him as being with her at the time. It was at about this time, that FBI agents Fox Dabido and Elm Scully were sent to investigate. 'What have we got, Scully?' asked Dabido. 'Gremlins,' replied Scully. 'I had them once. Doctor gave me some ointment, cleaned it right up.' 'No, the farm is infested with Gremlins. Their, creatures from word war two. They used to pull planes apart.' 'What? Like in that Twilight Zone episode?' 'And the movies.' 'Which movies?' 'Gremlins, and Gremlins two,' she replied. 'Hmmm, don't think I've seen either of those. Hey look, they've got pet lizards!' 'No, Fox! Those are Gremlins!' 'Rack off,' said Harold. 'This is our farm now! Get your own place!' 'Wow, talking lizards,' said Dabido. 'Theyr'e not lizards! They're GREMLINS!' exclaimed Elm.