Gees! Charles and Camila the MOVIE?!!!!

They announced a Charles and Camilla movie either, today or yesterday. Not sure which. It's being made by the British. I wonder if Hollywood would make a rival version (like they normally do when they get wind of a studio making a movie about something - which is why we get two Robin Hood epics, Two Wyatt Earp films and other things along similar lines all the time!!!) Well, fortunately, I've discovered the final scenes of the Hollywood version on a disused website warehouse somewhere near the Dagobar star system: EXT. TOP OF BURNING SKYSCRAPER - DAY HRH CHARLES Prince of Wales is standing on the top of a burning building with two M16 Machine guns - one in either hand. Numerous apache gun ships are flying around the building attempting to pick him off.

HRH Charles Take this you blighters! You can't stop us getting married MOTHER!

HRH Charles fires off several bursts of machine gun fire bringing down several Apache helicopters gunships.

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INT. COCKPIT OF APACHE GUNSHIP - DAY HRH QUEEN ELIZABETH II is at the controls of the gun ship. She makes a fist with her white glove and shakes it in defiance at Charles whom we can see in the distance on the burning skyscraper.

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EXT. MODERN CITY - DAY A harrier jump jet screams into view heading for the top of the burning Skyscraper. At the controls is CAMILLA Duchess of Cornwall (Dammit! I wanted that title!)

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EXT. TOP OF BURNING SKYSCRAPER - DAY The jump jet arrives and lands on top of the burning skyscraper next to HRH Charles. Just as it arrives a Gun Ship rises into view. HRH Queen Elizabeth II is at the controls. She smiles. HRH Charles and Camilla see this. Camilla has just enough time to leap from the cockpit of the Harrier as a missile is fired from the Gun Ship. HRH Charles and Camilla leap off the side of the building together just the harrier explodes into little pieces.

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EXT. SIDE OF BURNING SKYSCRAPER - DAY We see HRH Charles and Camilla floating gently to earth. Camilla has hold of HRH Charles ears and they are using them as a parachute to retard their fall. They land safely on the ground and look around. The camera pans left, and we see a large Cathedral. They smile to each other and run towards the Church. We pan back to the skyscraper. Several of the gun ships fly into each other and the side of the skyscraper. They all explode and the skyscraper collapses into rubble.

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EXT. CLOSE UP OF EXPLODING SKYSCRAPER - DAY We see the Apache Gunship of HRH Elizabeth II get hit by a piece of rubble from the exploding building. The Apache Gun Ship spirals out of control and into space (ala Darth Vader at the end of Star Wars Episode IV - A New Hope). INT. CATHEDRAL - DAY HRH Charles and Camila are at the altar with a Priest taking their vows. [Cue Triumphant music] SUPER: And they lived happily ever after ... And Like all Hollywood movies, it's stuck totally to the truth and hasn't altered or distorted anything in anyway. :-)