The Blog of Dabido (the Baka one). Everything in this blog is copyrighted. Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006 by D. Stevenson.

17 July, 2006

Superman - Handbag Snatcher [PARTE FIVE]

'You idiot,' said Harold the Gremlin, as Clarke dropped the drug pusher to the ground. 'You've just killed the only guy with a supply big enough to keep you going.' 'We'll find another one,' said Clarke. 'If you keep killing them, we'll run out of drug pushers!' At that point, Fox Dabido and Elm Scully came around the corner. They were tailing Clarke, but found it difficult at times, as he was so fast. 'What are we going to do Dabido?' asked Elm. 'You see this?' asked Dabido. 'Um, looks like a Gucci handbag!' 'Yep, bought it today. Matches my shoes,' said Dabido, straightening his hair and battin his eyelids a bit. 'Ah, looks a little feminine don't you think?' she asked. 'What? My new shoes! Oh, that bitch at the store told me they made my eyes stand out!' Agent Dabido flapped his arms about and danced in a circle like a gay alien who had just landed on a colour co-ordinated planet! 'Not the shoes! I mean the handbag!' 'Oh, that! Well, I wasnt' going to keep THAT! That's our bait for the Kent kid.' 'How do you figure that?' Dabido lifted a large plastic bag out of the Gucci. 'See this,' he said. 'It's pure...' Before he could finish the sentence, Clarke had seen the white powder in the plastic bag. He'd scored big time! In a flash he was over and ripped the Gucci handbag out of Dabido's arms! 'That BITCH!' screamed Dabido as he spun to the ground, less one Gucci handbag. 'That was Clarke,' said Agent Scully. 'Oh,' said Dabid. 'Well, that went well!' 'What are you talking about?' asked Scully. 'He just took the bait and ran ... or flew ... sort of ran and flew! Darn that kid moves fast.' 'Oh,' said Dabido. 'That was the plan. You see, we now have him on several counts! First, handbag snatching. Second, beingin possession of two kilo of heroin.' 'BUT ... WE ... HAVEN'T ... CAUGHT ... HIM!' said Scully through clenched teeth. 'Ah, you see, while I was scouting around the farm,' said Dabido. 'I found this spaceship, and I got talking with it's computer. Now, the computer happened to have a lot of weird playboy type magazines, but I found these other programs! First, one called Jor-L, and another called Daggnammity Jonathan Kent, and a third named Martha Kent. They were all the consciousness of this kids parents.' 'Um, doesn't that add up to three parents?' 'I don't know how many people it takes for aliens to mate! Anyway, apparently he's from a planet called Krypton.' 'Isn't that a gas?' asked Scully. 'Oh, it's a real trip, baby!' 'NO! Not that sort of gas. I mean, isn't it a type of gas, like in AIR!!!' 'Oh, air! Yeah. Anyway, I have to tell you about the most gorgeous set of belts and ties I found at Armani's.' 'We were discussing Clarke!' 'Oh, yeah. Remind me to tell the accessories story later then. Anyway sister, apparently, his allergic to this stuff called Kryptonite, which is a radioactive rock from his world.' 'So?' 'So, I laced the heroin full of the stuff. Jor-L helped guide me through how much was enough, and I've put enough in there to take away most of his super powers!' 'So, you've slowed him down?' 'Like a sloth on a valium, Baby!' It was true. Clarke, after sniffing the whoel two kilo's in one go, was lacking any normal super abilities. No longer could he see through girls dresses. No longer was he faster than a speeding bullet (except in the bedroom). No longer could he leap tall buildings in a single bound, (though he could go up the stair well ten steps at a time!) Clarke didn't test his ability to stop a speeding locomotive, but if he had of, he would have come off second best. Little did Fox and Elm know, but their entire conversation, including Dabido's later story about the accessories at Armani, was overheard by non other than Harold the Gremlin.