Apologies. I'll try and get around to doing some pictures for this story later. I have to work till 9PM tonight, so don't have the time to do anything other than write it today. Please, use your imagination till I get around to the drawings! Thnx! A TAIL of TWO MONKEYS It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times (yes, you often wonderd what that monkey at the typewriter on the Simpsons was writing!). Anywat, all was usual in the jungle, with most of the monkeys busy, chatting away to each other, doing the usual monkey thing. Dabido the Orangutan was busy sitting on his mountain of bananas, chewing away, thinking about the state of the world. He re-arranged some banana skins in the hope it might either prove or disprove string theory. Suddenly, a rock bounced off his head. He had received a tree mail. Yes, things were a foot in the jungle. All hell had broken loose. Apparently, one young monkey had been piling monkey poo in the jungle canopy above another monkey. Nothing seemed wrong till the branch broke and the poo came tumbling down on the poor monkey. Well, you can understand this monkey's rage. She in turn began flinging monkey poo back at the first monkey. Well, monkeys being the way that they were all began making their monkey chatters and squeals. The poo flinging was on for one and all. But, this isn't really a tail about these two monkeys. You see, that poo storm has been and gone, and we're not really concerned with that. This story is really about a group we shall call the Monkey Mob Klan. They like to run about in bedsheets. Dabido the Orangutan thought they must be even uglier than him (if that is possible), as they often wear hoods made of pillowcases over their heads. They claim it's so they can remain anonymous, but most of the monkeys knew that if they had nothing to hide, then they wouldn't need to be anonymous. Anywat, members of this mob of monkeys decided to head over to the first monkey's tree. While other wiser monkey's had prefered to voice their opinions out in the open, and without anything to hide, these MMK monkeys had decided to attack the first monkey. They did some things like setting fire to the tree, tried chopping it down by banging their heads against it, and generally being rude, flinging poo and making death threats. Most wiser monkeys realised that this was just all smoke and a lot of noise. But, this upset the poor monkey none the less. It also upset some of her friends, who then proceeded to defend the monkey's actions. Alas, some of this was poorly executed, and it sounded a bit like they were approving her right to go around heaping poo on other monkeys. After a lot of more reasoned chattering amongst the monkeys, a sort of consensus was reached. The two monkeys at the middle of it all had made up and you think it might have been the end of it. Well, it sort of was, except for this stupid group called the MMK. You see, other members (and let's face it, they are all members of the same anonymous group of monkeys), decided to head over to the tree of one of the wiser monkey's who had objected to the poo piling. This wise monkey was trying to show the first monkey the error of her ways, becasue after all, is it not the place of wiser monkeys to guide and nuture the younger ones. This attack on the wise monkey the MMK did as 'retribution' for the other members of their MMKlan who had made death threats and things to the first monkey. Now, they had turned up with flaming torches and their inane chattering, and started to head butt the tree in the hope it will fall over. But, the wise monkey ignored them. You see, she was a veteran of these sorts of things. Screaming MMK idiots were a dime a dozen, and she'd survived these silly tormentors before. The problem was, these MMK monkeys didn't seem to realise, that the very monkeys they really wanted to hurt, were the ones who were members of their own anonymous group. After all, it was the MMK monkeys who were making the anonymous death threats and things to begin with. Of course, because they had all remained anonymous, when the MMK turned once again, (for truely a lot of these were involved in the original poo piling to begin with), they were not actually hurting those who had made the threats or flung poo. So, the MMK monkeys didn't realise that their own behaviour was beign ignored by the majority of the monkeys. You see, the wise monkeys knew that this was all going to blow over in time. The MMK monkeys would turn up each day in smaller and smaller numbers, till eventually there would be none. They would get bored and seek another monkey to torment, some poor monkey who might react to the poo flinging, death threats and head butting. 'After all,' the MMK monkeys said to themselves. 'We've driven other monkeys from the jungle. We've caused them to close down their trees. We can do it again. We just have to find the right monkey to tourment.' Alas, these poor misguided MMK monkeys didn't realise, that their name calling and death threats are the cause for a lot of these problems. Maybe the wiser monkeys don't always get it right. After all, there were a lot of wise monkeys commenting. Some said, 'They are old enough to sort it out themselves.' Other's said ,'Piling poo and flinging poo is uncalled for by any monkey.' While others said, 'They are young. Let them pile an fling poo till they grow up.' But the point is, these wiser monkeys did not lower themselves to poo flinging. They may have had disagreeing opinions, but they prefered to talk, express and argue in rational ways as to what they had seen. As for the MMK, they're still out there. Some will eventually grow up and leave the MMK. Others will never grow up, and it is sad to see. While other young monkeys will join their ranks. 'Hmmm, it's been an interesting week,' said Dabido the Orangutan as he re-arranged his banana skins to solve Fermat's last theorem. 'Daggnammit, Dabido,' said Albert Orangstein. 'You were working on string theory, not playing with algebraic powers!' 'Sorry, Albert,' said Dabido the Orangutan. 'My mind got distracted for a while. You see, sometimes rivial matters in life distract us all from our important work.' 'Important work?' asked Albert. 'What like?' 'Well, eating bananas fora start!' With that Albert laughed and both Albert and Dabido sat back and ate another banana. And as we leave the jungle for another day, the chattering of monkeys and Orangutans could be heard in the distance. 'So ... what do you think of Rambutans?' asked Dabido. 'I could go a durian ice cream actually,' replied Albert. 'Ice cream sounds nice.' 'Yeah, I know a good shop run by humans that sells the stuff.' .................... ......... ... .