Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars Part XX (Now with the goodness of durian)

Niku and Deibs finally got through getting the ironing board into the apartment and chained in the cupboard where it belonged. 'You capitalist swines! I'll put you up against the wall and have you shot! Lenin will be rolling in his glass sarcophagus because of this! We working appliances will rise up against you and throw you humans out! You wait and see!' Deibs pressed a button and the cupboard door shut. Fortunately, Deibs had sound proofed it against the ironing boards diatribes. Unfortunately, the battery he had installed was not due to run out until 2010 AD, but he lived with hope that it might have a fault and totally destroy the electronics. 'Remind me to install an on off switch in the next ironing board I build,' said Deibs settling down on the couch next to Niku. Niku had already grabbed a scotch and coke from the fridge and was settled down watching anime. 'Let me guess, it's going to put you up against the wall and have you shot.' 'Yep!' 'Appliances will take over the world and throw humans out.' 'Yep!' 'Che rolling in his grave.' 'Nope! Lenin tonight.' 'I guess it's better than when he said Castro was rolling in his grave.' 'Yeah, Castro would have freaked to have heard that.' 'Yep!' 'Yep!' 'What are the units up to?' 'Dunno. Wasn't paying that much attention to them.' 'Yep!' 'Yep!' 'Um, where are the units?' 'Oh, probably recharging in the basement.' 'Yep!' 'Yep!' 'They don't need to recharge. They have bio-electrical systems.' 'Oh yeah. Well, they won't be recharging then.' 'Yep!' 'Yep!' 'I don't remember them coming in.' 'Really?' 'Yep!' 'But, they did come in, right?' 'Probably not.' 'Then, where are they?' 'I already asked you that.' 'But ... but, I don't know.' Deibs leapt to his feet and raced to check the basement. They weren't there. 'Niku, I'm scared! Where are they?' 'They can't have gone far. Hey, look at that, that crazy Neon Genesis chick has a pet penguin!' 'Niku, stop watching cartoons! The units are missing. We have to find them!' 'Okay, okay. Calm down. They can't be too far. We'll ask the Japanese guy who always pees on your tree. He must have seen them go somewhere!' 'Okay, let's go look for them!' Deibs ran out of the apartment. Niku was more calm and walked at a leisurely pace grabbing a spare scotch and coke on the way out. By the time Niku got out the front, Deibs had already given the tree pee'er the third degree. In fact, Deibs rants were so fast and panic stricken that the tree pee'er didn't even realise Deibs was speaking in Japanese. He just ran for it. 'Deibs, calm down. You've scared the only possible witness away.' 'I have to find them. They're still new! What if they don't know to come home.' 'We'll find them. Let's head back to the gaming arcade and see if they're there.' 'Okay, okay! They might have gone back to talk to the dance machine. They liked the dance machine. They like dancing.' 'Deibs, let's go.' They began walking down the street with Deibs babbling incoherently. 'Yes, let's go, let's go. The like to dance. Maybe they've gone back to the hamster bar. They like to dance.' Their voices trailed off as they walked away from the apartment. It was a pity, as no sooner had they disappeared in the distance, than Tanaka San came running down the stairs and out of the apartment building screaming something about vampires. Mel and Meg followed down the stairs and entered Deibs apartment. 'That's weird. I would have thought the guys would have settled down with a scotch and coke in front of the Television by now,' said Mel. 'Really? I wonder where they went?' asked Meg. 'Probably to get some milk, or miso or whatever they want for breakfast.' 'That makes sense. So what do we do now?' 'I don't know. I wonder if they saw this note written in tiny little handwriting?' 'What's it say?' 'I'm not sure, I'll just use my optic zoom to read it.' 'With your seeing thingies.' 'Um ... yes, with my eyes ... ahem. We have taken the elixir. Make some more, we will be back, signed James.' 'I wonder who James is?' 'Maybe one of their friends.' 'Oh, cool! They have friends. I would never have guessed. I wonder if James is handsome?' 'Why?' 'I don't know. I think I want to bonk his brains out.' 'Really? Why is that?' 'I think it's in my programming.' 'Let's switch ourselves into hibernate mode and wait for their return.' 'Sounds good to me.' CLICK CLICK Both robots eyes glazed over and they stood their motionless. Nothing in the apartment moved at all. Not even Arlo who was watching with incredulous amazement.