Chapter Nine

It was three thirty in the morning. Akane was not sure what had awoken her, but she felt strangely ill at ease. She knew her mother Mai was still at the police station, but she only just realised that Naoki had not returned home. She got out of bed, naked and opened the door to her bedroom. She only opened it a crack to see if anyone else was home. She was curious as to why she had been left all alone. She could see the master bedroom door was open, and neither her mother, nor Naoki was sleeping in the bed. The bed was untouched. 'How strange,' she thought to herself. She went for a walk through the house. She somehow felt very liberated that she could walk completely naked through the house. Normally with her mother or Naoki at home, she would put something on. Now, it was like she was the Queen of the house. Normally she thought of herself as the 'Imprisoned Princess', waiting for the day her Prince would come to rescue her. Or even better, the day she would break out of the castle herself and go in search of her Prince. She noticed she had left the curtains open in the lounge room. She had come back from talking to Jim, had gone straight to the kitchen and made herself some dinner. Then, she had gone straight to her bedroom, eaten and watched her television for a few hours. Finally, she had gone to sleep. In all that time, she had not noticed that Naoki had not returned from work. Maybe he had left them? Naoki would not dare! She went into the lounge room to shut the curtains. The moon shone white through the front window illuminating the entire lounge room. As she approached them, she suddenly noticed, standing in the middle of the street was Mark Fisher. Right at that moment, he turned and saw her too. He had seen her naked! Even her exhibitionist streak did not like the thought of this old man looking on her naked body. She gasped loudly and pulled the curtains shut. It was too late, he had seen her in all her glory. This was not the sort of attention she wanted at this point in her life. If it had been Aaron, or even Slim she might have not worried. This was old man Fisher though. This was the old man born in the nineteen thirties. He was so old that she did not even want to think about what was going through his head. She peered through the curtains again. He was still in the middle of the road. Only now he was staring straight at the window where she had been. He was looking straight at where she was now looking through the curtains at him. She thought about calling the police. She could claim there was some sort of stalker after her, or some neighbourhood pervert. What if the police came, and he told them what happened? What if they believed him? Then they would all know, and she certainly did not like the thought of being laughed at by the police. She was deeply worried by it. She hoped that old man Fisher would not tell anyone. She raced through to the kitchen. She hoped that old man Fisher did not come and knock on her door. What would she do if he did? She certainly would not open the door to him. She would just wait for him to leave. She waited. There was no knock at the door. She raced through to the lounge room again. She peered out of the curtains. Old man Fisher was still in the middle of the street. He was looking down the road. For some reason he seemed to be going through the accident in his head. He was trying to sort it all out in his brain for some reason. Maybe he did not care that Akane had seen him. Maybe he did not care that she had been standing there stark naked. She returned to the kitchen. The answering machine was flashing. Someone had left a message at some stage. She pressed the button to listen. It was Naoki's message saying he was working back and would be late. 'What a load of crap,' she thought. Working back was Naoki's code for going to see Moe. 'You've been sleeping with your whore you stupid man, and you've forgotten to come home to your family!' She half screamed it at the answering machine. She picked the machine up and slammed it down hard on the kitchen bench. She did not know why she resented Naoki seeing Moe. It was not as if he was cheating on her. She had never regarded him as a father at all. Still, somewhere inside her it still hurt. She returned to her bedroom. She opened her top draw and started to stick clothes on. First some flannel winter pyjama bottoms, then a light night dress she seldom wore. Then the flannel top, then a night gown which she wrapped tightly around her and tied. It was actually a warm night, but she still put the all this on. She lay down on her bed and turned her television on. She did not care what was on. She just turned the sound up and let it talk over the top of any thoughts that might have been going through her head. Somehow the world had changed that night. She decided that the only person who cared for her was her. The only person who would look after her, was her. Though she had done something awful to her mother, she decided that it was her mothers fault. Naoki was too busy sleeping with his whore to worry about what happened to her. No one was where they were supposed to be. Naoki was supposed to be there to protect her when her mother was not there. Her mother should have been looking after her rather than worrying about her own self image. Akane was glad she had got her mother into trouble. Mai deserved it. She was a self centred, egotistical bitch whose self promotion was the only thing which mattered. Akane was glad her mother might go to prison. It would get her out of her life altogether. As for Naoki, he would not even know. He had finally got the courage to leave and as far as she was concerned, Naoki was not coming back. Not if she could help it. Akane would live in the house by herself and look after herself. As far as she was concerned Mai and Naoki were dead to her. They no longer existed. They had no rights and no power over her. She was her own woman. Akane sat on her bed watching the television. Tears started to flow. She was alone in this world. Now, she suddenly missed Slim. It hit her like a brick to the face. In this cold hard world, Slim was her anchor. Slim was the one she turned to when things were bad at home. He was the one she could talk to. He had made the world seem sane. He had made the world an easier place to live. Now, he was gone. She was alone. All this time, she had only been thinking of herself. She realised something about Slim. Slim had always thought of others. he had always tried to make others feel special. He had. He had made her seem special. When at other times, she always had to compete to make others see her, notice her. Always trying to show other people that she was special, Slim has always seen it. She never had to try with him. He could always see it in her. Maybe, he had been in love with her. He had never said it, but now, Akane realised, she had been in love with Slim. Maybe, just maybe that was why she had let him through her facade to see the real her. That was why she was able to share the real Akane with him. Not the fake Akane that had to search for attention all the time. Not the Akane that craved to be noticed. To be seen as special. He had seen the real Akane, and now, he was gone forever. At this realisation, she broke even more. The tears turned from a flow to a dam bursting and she could not stop it, and she could not control it. She cried aloud and she cried in heavy sobs that came from deep within her very soul. She wished that she could just die, and the pain would be taken from her. She knew it wasn't possible though. Something had broken inside her, and it could never be fixed again. Not now, not in a million years.