Impossible List ... Almost Complete!

Well, go up this morning. Yesterday, my mother asked me like five times to take her to the shopping mall. Everytime, I said, 'Yes!' I don't know why she insists on annoying me by asking the same qustions over and over after I already told her I would do something. So I got up this morning, and I took her shopping. Shopping consists of me following her around a supermarket pushing the trolley. This was the first time out since her operation. There is something very weird about my family. [Other than me that is! :-P] My Grandmother has been a recluse most of her life. A virtual shut in. She won't go anywhere without my Uncle John (who lives with her and looks after her). My mother is sort of the same. She hates to go anywhere, and she prefers to get either me or my brother to go places and get things for her. Often, she will request us to do things, and we refuse, because we know we can't buy what she wants. I am using the term 'can't' in the sense that no matter what we buy, she will say it's not what she wanted! Like if she wants us to buy blue curtains or something. If we actually purchase them, then she will say they're too light, or too dark ... or the material is wrong. That's why I always insist she comes with us to purchase such things. Normally, she'll refuse to go, and we won't have to get the item. She does normally go shopping or to the post office withoout a problem though. Since her operation (well, since her bleeding), she has basically been relying on us to do everything for her. So, today's venture outside, even to do shopping, was a great thing (at least for me). On Thursday I am taking her back for her post operation visit with the Doctor. (Get the results. Make sure nothing cut out was cancerous etc). Oh, I side tracked. I was going to complain about the way she tries to shop when I am there. As I've taken her shopping quite often, I have to go throug hthe same routine again and again. This consists of her telling me to go ahead of her, and me explaining that I can't. She has to go first. I don't know where she is going, or what she is after. Every shopping trip it happens a number of times. Probably two or three, and on occassions, almost everytime we stop for her to pick something up. I think part of the excitement she gets with having me along, is occassionally, people think that we are a couple! My younger brother Paul hasn't been anywhere with my mother since a car salesman refered to her as Paul's 'pregnant wife'. Paul was very offended! My mother thought it was funny ... though she didn't like the fact that her 'fat' was mistaken for being pregnant! Often people have said similar things to us. Like when a checkout lady once told me I should buy my GF flowers, and nodded towards my mother. I was very offended, but I take these things in stride. Other times I've had people laugh at me, as they think my mother and I are a 'couple', and wonder how an old woman landed such a young guy ... the jokes on them. They shouldn't jump to conclusions. It's my MOTHER not my GF you bodoh idiotic baka gila brained people! Anyway, my mother likes it. She gets a kick out of it. I guess it's better than when I am with my younger brother and people think we're a gay couple! Anyway ... on with today's events. Got home, (and to be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure we were ever going to get home), and still had my business stuff to get in order. The hardest thing, was trying to get three 'Letter's of Intent'. My old boss never returned my call, nor my e-mail to him. In fact, he hasn't replied to a number of e-mails I've sent him, so I think he can't be bothered anymore. I waited most of the day, and then phoned the PCYC to see what they had done. Nothing. Chas is on annual leave, and didn't receive my e-mail. On Thursday, I'll be writing the 'Letter of Intent' for them, and Kylie's going to sign it. Another 'Letter of Intent' is going to be signed by another company, but I have to write that one for them as well. (It's becoming a habit ... not only do I need to do everything for my business, I have to do the other companies bits for it was well! I need a company that does everything, then I won't have to worry about other businesses at all! I'll just buy and sell to myself!) I spoke to my brother Paul, who knows some people who own businesses, and he knows some will be more than happy to talk to me about it. Hopefully, my third and final 'letter of intent' will come from them. I spoke to the Local Council and cleared things with them, also with Insurance and heaps of other stuff. Looks like it might all be a go - ahead. If it doesn't come about, then I'm heading off to the UK. My mother doesn't want that! Oh, I had ANOTHER JOB OFFER FROM SYDNEY!!!!! SYDNEY! I LEFT THERE! WHY OFFER ME A JOB WHEN YOU KNOW I'VE LEFT!!!!???? Anyway, it was a very long and depressing day! I hated it! Left me very depressed in the end! What I need is a job which allows me to read books all day. Not review them, just read them! Not bad books either, or stuff in a slush pile! I don't want to be an editor or anything! I need a job where I get to read good literature, and science fiction, and comedies! Or even encyclopedias! Things I like to read! No such job could ever exist of course. Even if I had the job, I'd be thinking, I need a job where I get to draw pictures all day ... or play music all day ... or write all day ... let's face it, I'll always be wanting to do something else! Actually,I think the trauma of today was what probably set me off. Too much of my mother, and too much of trying to through together business plans etc (which often really are just guesses and hopeful wishes), and too depressing chasing other people for 'Letter's of Intent' which I am going to end up writing myself. I should just invent a company, make a letterhead and sign the 'Letter of Intent' myself under some pseudonym pretending it's a real company that wants my services! It's almost the same thing! In fact, if my brother Paul can't find the third company to sign a letter of intent, then the whole thing is for naught anyway! At least I have TWO so far. Somedays I wonder what it's all about, and if it's all worth it anyway! When I was in school, all I ever wanted to do was write, paint and play music ... any of those for a living would have been worth it. Yet, the world always likes to push me away from such things! I feel wasted! Of course, it's the depression after my body has started getting rid of that coke I drank the other day! Not enough sleep, and then my body needs to get rid of that Sodium Benzoate preservative they stick in coke! Always causes depression in me! Anyway, back on my allergy diet now! Rice, potatoes, green beans, preservative free bread, water and soya milk! See, so much quicker to name what I can eat, rather than name what I can't! :-) Saw a new Simpsons episode tonight ... and I don't think I laughed once! Was it the Simpsons? Or was it just me? It's rained most of today too. That never helps! No exercise - no walking! I probably should have done some weights or yoga! Anyway, I have no idea what I want to do with my life still! I think I am going to die not knowing what I wanted to do! I recieved an e-mail saying how good my blog is. I suspect it is SPAM though. (Something in the content gave it away!) I could be wrong! [Nah! They said my blog was great! They must be lying! This is the blog with the twenty secret quite readers!] :-) Actually, this morning, I had so much to blog about, I was wondering when I would finish blogging on any of my ideas! Maybe I need to write a Blog article on 'THINGS TO BLOG ABOUT. ' Then, people can link to that post, and when they hit a block, they just click on the link, and Hey! Presto! Instant ideas!