April Fools day

Got my first and only April Fool's Day joke off early. Told a friend (who will remain nameless) that they cancelled April Fool's Day. Bwahahahahahahahahaaaaaa. GOTCHA! The Pope is in a serious condition. Knocking on heavens door. Have you ever noticed how some people say "Knocking on Death's Door" and other's say "Knocking on Heaven's Door". They are euphemisms for the same thing, but are completely different in many ways. After all, knocking on Death's door normally involves the personification of Death (with his Terry Pratchet like booming voice "I HAVE COME FOR YOU", and his hooded cloak and sythe). I remember visiting the Cappacino Monk's catacomb in Rome and seeing they'd made one of the monks skeletons into a Death with Sythe on the roof of one of the tombs. (For those who don't know, the Cappacino monks use the bones of their bretheren and turn them into displays at the church. There are six tombs in the catacombs, where the bones have been used to make furniture and pictures etc.) Sorry, I cant find a link to any pictures about them on the web, but if you type "cappucino monks" into google you'll see there really are monks of the order 'capuchin", from which Cappucino Coffee get's it's name. (Named after the Monks hood). News from the US lately was that they have little nano machines which can go into cells and check out how DNA is replicated by the nucleus. Scientists and Doctors are getting a lot of information from these little nano-machines. It's supposed that in the near future they'll be able to go into damaged cells and fix them. Just what you need after being cryogenically frozen for a couple of hundred years. (No, Walt Disnet was not cryogenically frozen!) I am looking forward to a Futurama afterlife as a head in a jar in a museum. Bwahahahahahaa! Still, if they can get these little nano machines working to repair cells, it means that death may soon be a thing of the past. Let's have a look at some of the effects of eternal life. 1. When do you get to retire! NEVER! 2. Want to be a millionaire - save a dollar a year for a million years. 3. Fast track millionaire - learn everything there is to know, and go on who wants to be a millionaire! (You'll have the time to do this!) 4. Survivor 300 Mars - yes, Jeff Probst hosts the 2100 AD edition of the program. He did quit forty years ago, but they convinced him to come back for the 300th series. Nice to see the return of the original host of the show. 5. TV is really boring. After all, they're just ripping off the shows you wrote fifty years ago, which you ripped off! Talk about predictable! 6. Over qualified? Okay, so we're inventing new University programs to do. My Degree in Aardvark Farming (with Salsa Dancing Major) is just as good as my other fifty four degrees! Why can't I get the job? 7. More people are alive today than are actually dead! Six Billion of us here now! In one hundred years time, without death being as prevalent as it was, how many of us will there be? Better get that Mars Base ready and waiting! Resources running out? New Reality TV Show World War Three (followed by Four, Five ... and wait, we've got a new twist this season! Find out who get's voted [blown] off the planet?) 8. They still can't cure stupidity! People will actually start competing for real for Darwin awards once they get bored with living. (Or depressed or something). 9. Politicians are unable to fool people anymore. After all, we all have our Political Science Degree (with Aardvark Farming majors). We all know the tricks of the trade! Political speaches degenerate into mud slinging matches ... so nothing changes! 10. Not only does everyone get fifteen minutes of fame, they're also listed on the stock exchange! 11. Pleasure machine invented which is better than sex. Human population stops expanding! Phew! That was lucky! Women wonder why men ever needed in the first place! 12. Huxley's Brave New World is put on par with the Bible (and other Religious texts!) 13. Myth Busters Show able to prove if Universe really expanding! Buster mark LXII is destroyed in blackhole! 14. They really do cross a drummer with a gorilla! 15. Lawyers genetically modified so that their Shite really doesn't smell! Gees, I could go on forever! Feel free to add more to the comments section. Would be wonderful to read things I wouldn't have thought of! :-)