The Blog of Dabido (the Baka one). Everything in this blog is copyrighted. Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006 by D. Stevenson.

18 January, 2005

Strange Contacts

Well, every now and then, I get a strange contact from a Romance Site, or a friendship site that I belong to. Some of the funniest ones have been from Philippina girls, who used to log onto a chat site, and tell me how they think I am handsome, and they love me. The funny bit being, there was no pictures on the site, so they couldn't tell if I was handsome or not. They also didnt know me, so how do they know that they love me. Obviously, when on a site like this, it is important to watch yourself. For one thing, their profile may say they are a Female from the Philippines, but there is always the possiblity that they are males from almost anywhere. Some people get off on luring other men in and then revealing they were just yanking their chains. It's a nasty piece of confidence trickery. Of course, getting back to the majority of cases, I beleive they are female and Philippina. They also obviously want to get out of the country they are in, and spotting a guy with an Aussie profile, it gives them a nice target. So even without seeing me, or knowing me, they try the good old tactic of smooching up to me. Only problem is, it NEVER works. It's not like most of us Western men haven't been subjected to women trying to convince us to do things via their charm. We have. Also, in todays society, most of us start to distrust other people. So someone doing a lot of smooching up, comes across as desperate. (I have called these people desperate to thier faces too). Of course, it isn't just restricted to Philippina's either. I have some very nice Philippina friends, and they certainly don't use this tactic. It's just an enoumously high amount of them seem to try it. Other people who have tried it on me have come from the old Eastern Block countries, China and Indonesia. I can understand what they are up too. They all want OUT and want a better life in a nice first world country. Let's face it, if most of us were in their situation, we would want out too. So I am not going to bag them for wanting out. I will however, bag them for their obvious tactics, which really come down to manipulation of another humans feelings and abuse of that person. The sad thing about it though, is that those who are most likely to fall for it, are the more soft hearted and nicer sort of person. (What does that say about me for not falling for it?! Ai Carumba!) It also reflects badly on people I know from the same region, who are really looking for love. I know a few sceptical people who think they are all in it just to get OUT of where they are. I don't believe this, as I've seen my Philippina friends reject people they do not think worthy. Those whom they reject are almost always rejected for obvious character flaws. If my friends were not looking for love, then they wouldn't worry about the flaws. They'd just be looking to ensure a quick trip out of their own country. I went on a date with a Philippina girl a few years ago. She was Okay looking, but she seemed very disinterested in me. She also kept talking about wanting an Aussie hubby so she could stay in the country. It didn't take long for me to realise this wasn't going to work. I was trying to find common ground for a relationship, and she was trying to find a way to stay in the country. A team with unrelated agenda's won't perform well. (Or won't work at all). Of course, their agenda isn't to make the relationship work. In fact, they really only want to hold the relationship together till they are in the country, and can't be thrown out again. I've met a few guys this has happened to. It's sad, and it's not what they were aiming for. A Philippina friend of mine told me that she knew a girl who did it. The girl bragged that she thought with her brain and not her heart. It's a sad thing to brag about. Luckily, I have also met people who have met on these sites, fallen in love, and the relationship works. Why does it work? Well, the people invovled are genuinely seeking their soul mate and when they meet them, they are serious about making the relationship work. They are united in common goals. There was also an article (and I can't remember which magazine had it), which talked about a study of people whose relationship started on the internet. Apparently, internet relationships have a higher success rate than those which do not start on the internet. One of the reasons is that due to a lack of body language in the communication, the people need to communicate more effectively. This spills over into their actual relationship once they meet in person. With the internet having been around for over ten years now, the study has at least ten years worth of data to go on. Most relationships which survive after seven years will normally be solid. Ten years of data gives at least three years worth on relationships which have survived past seven years. So, it is understandable, with most of my friends knowing someone who has had a successful internet match up, that the intenet becomes a good choice for finding soul mates. There is also an entire world to chose from and not just those in your local area. For some of us, the hard part is finding that soul mate. For others, like my Philippina friends, it also means trying to get past a reputation caused by their desperate compatriots. With the choice out there of single men though, it is a very strange tactic to use someone in order to just get out of a country. The possiblity of meeting someone on-line has increased considerably. My advice to girls trying to get a Visa, why not kill two birds with one stone. Find that soulmate that you want, and in the process, also get that Visa. You will not cause any pain, and you will also find a life companion in the process. You will also be less annoying, and more successful in your search.