Figure 1. Hertzsprung-Russell-Dabido Diagram
Top Axis has Blog Classes, along with Number of Hits per day.
O - Obnoxious. These are the blogs which are most likely more popular than your own. It doesn't matter that they are well written, or even intelligent. They just grate on all our nerves.
B - Brilliant. These ones are the ones which are most likly more popular than our own, but we actually like them.
A - Astounding. These are ones where people are constantly challenging us, the way we view the world, and are not too offensive.
F - Fabulous. These are ones we like. They don't astound us, they're not brilliant, but for soem reason we still like to read them.
G - Good. These ones are Okay, and are palatable if we are really bored. It's like when you sit and listen to one of your friends ramble on mindlessly while you sit there going, 'Ahuh! Ahuh!'
K - Kind of Okay. They're nice people. We don't want to offend them by telling them their blogs are total crap, so we tell them their blogs are Okay.
M - Moronic. These ones are so bad, we don't mind telling our closest friend that their blog stinks to high heaven, and they should take up something less harmful to their health, like sky diving chuteless or abseiling ropeless.
The Axis on the left shows Blogging IQ. This isn't the same as normal IQ, as even the most brilliant noob can make the simplest of mistakes.
The Axis on the right shows Absolute Fagnitude. Yes, I invented that term, and it has nothin with being gay or lesbian. It relates to the fact that some people, no matter how long they remain on line, and no matter how 133t they think they are, they are still complete prats and as such, have an Absolute Fagnitude rating.
The bottom axis has to do with Ego%, which is an indirect Blog Whoring rating.
From these five axis, we can determine the sort of blog we are looking at.
- Supergiants of the blogsphere. These people know and understand the web and blogsphere and how to manipulate it. It's amazing that some still land in the Moronic class of blogs. They're the sort of blogger you might like to bonk ... if only you were not so far down the food chain!
- Bright Sparks of the blogsphere. These people have a good understanding of the blogshpere and what is required to have a good blog. The Almost Interesting Bloggers wish to be them as they know they'll never make it to Super Giant stage.
- Interesting. These bloggers are not always smart enough to manipulate things to their advantage, but their greatest asset is they do write about interesting things. Most of their readers stay with them and are genuinely interested in reading what they are saying ... or at least interested in rooting them senseless.
- Almost Interesting. These bloggers might just be bad writers, or maybe they are good writers with nothing to say. Either way, they are lacking a major portion of what is required to elevate them into the interesting category. Maybe it's the lack of profanity or nude photos.
- Main Sequence of Crap. Yes, these people just ramble on about inane things due to lack of attention from their family and friend (friends if they have two). They can't help themselves, they're lonely, but aren't high enough up the social ladder at work to organise a meeting. Sometimes they can triple their readership by including juicey gossip or a sexy picture (that they photoshopped their head onto).
- Total ignoramuses. These bloggers have no idea what a blog is for. They heard it was a good idea from someone who keeps a 'Main Sequence of Crap' blog, and decided to jump on the band wagon. Having a sad and lonely mentor, they have no idea what they are doing. Some are so bad, they're good, in a B-Grade movie sort of a way. Their main reader is the blogger who convinced them to start a blog to begin with. Some are more reknown for their complete stupidity rather than their content.
So concludes the Dabido Challenge number two. We now have a new term in the Universe and a map for you to work out the sort of blogs you are reading.
Hope it is as helpful as the Hertzsprung-Russell diagrams have been for Astronomy.
Watch out for the Dark Matter Blogs ... they'll suck your brain into them, and once beyond the event horizon, you'll be in another Universe. [It might even be better than this one!] ;-)