News Headlines for Today

Thought I'd do a 'Glasshouse' headlines today. Those not living in Australia (or who never watch the ABC), the 'Glasshouse' is a show where three comedians and two guests (sometimes comedians, sometimes sports people, other times hobo they dragged off the street) sit around discussing the events which happened during the week. At the end of the show, they normally read off some of the top headlines from Australia and around the world, then attach a second line to it. Today I was sparked by the first headline from Japan, and then decided I might as well put in some more. [I admit it, I read headlines and they sometimes make me laugh at what they might mean]. Japan - Koizumi dissolves lower house. More acid needed if we want to dissolve other politicians. USA - Three landing sites ready for Shuttle return. Two sites selling $12 tuna fish sandwiches but no one to sell them to. UK - SPORTS, Ashes excitement. England team told they don't have to burn their stumps. Australia - CSIRO Scientist create a diet approved by the Government. Starve the poor! USA - NASA vows to land shuttle somewhere. Due to budget cuts, NASA scientist suggests up Bush's ... Venezuela - Chavez warns against US invasion. Ready to drive them into the sea ... just like Saddam did! Israel - Press dismisses Netanyahu move. Voted off Dancing with the stars! Brazil - 'Record' bank robbery in Brazil. Have to do it again, Guiness book of records weren't ready! South Africa - Uranium find brings joy to poor South African farmer. Can now climb walls and spin webs! USA - Alaskan people tell of climate change. Raining polar bears for second time this week. South Korea - BBC News meets cloning expert Woo Suk Hwang. Wants their Hwang Suk'ed Too. I guess that's all for now. Time for Dabido to have his afternoon nap! :-)