The Blog of Dabido (the Baka one). Everything in this blog is copyrighted. Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006 by D. Stevenson.

22 November, 2005

Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars Part 2

Kenji was at a loss. He had a popular bar, but for all the wrong reasons. Most patrons came to pick up men, sing Gay anthems such as YMCA, It's raining men or I am woman, or just to see the two little rodents going for it with each other.

He decided there was not much he could do about the singing, it was after all a karaoke place. He did not want to lose his patrons, sure, they spent more time eyeing him and Deibetto off than the topless waitresses, but they were good customers, not violent and enjoyed themselves. They were after all paying off Kenji's considerable loan to start the bar. The hamster however! What had started them off? He had no idea.

He spoke to Deibetto about it, with Deibetto being a scientist and all, he would know the cause of this phenomena. Deibetto denied any knowledge of what had happened. They called in Deibetto's friend Niku Wilkinson, and English guy who they thought might know a little about hamsters. He suggested Kenji get a bigger macho hamster in order to pull the other two in line. Kenji decided it was a good idea, so he did!

After much searching through pet shops, Kenji found the perfect hamster, Arlo. He was a very large hamster who was also rather muscular. Rather than sitting around all day sniffing things out, Arlo was always hard at it working his muscles on the cute little treadmill in his cage. Perfect! This hamster was the macho male equivalent of John Wayne of the Hamster world, Kenji surmised. This hamster will slap those two homo-hamsters into line.

Little did Kenji know, but Arlo was naturally homosexual. He worked out on the treadmill often trying to hone it into perfect muscular shape to attract the other male hamsters. Arlo often would look at himself in the mirrors around the pet shop.

'Who's a pretty boy then?' one of the parrots would often ask.

'I am,' thought Arlo. 'Oh yeah, check out my abs man! I am the Adonis of the hamster world!'

It was this latent homo-hamster that Kenji stuck in the cage with James and George. By this stage, James and George were a little tuckered out, after many an elixir induced shag fest. Arlo's entry into the cage made rather scarier for them though. Arlo summed up the situation immediately, he was going to make George and James his bitches. Arlo was head honcho hamster! If Arlo imagined he was some sort of sex god before, he now imagined he was double, as he had to bitches to slap around.

At first, Kenji saw Arlo slapping George and James around the cage, and assumed he was putting some good masculinity back into the two. That night however, as the regular crowd and extraneous gay hamster fans wandered in, Kenji was in for a shock. Arlo slammed both George and James flat on their little backs and had his way with them. Poor George and James! They had been violated!!!!

Mari pointed out that maybe, just maybe if Kenji had bought a female hamster or two, maybe the homo-hamster problem would have gone away!

'Baka Kenji!' he cried slapping his forehead! 'Why didn't I think of that?'

'Because you're an idiot,' Mari told him, waving a finger at him, with her long right boob hanging off the end. It had accidentally got caught on the end of her finger. The left one was comfortably hitching a ride on her drinks tray between a long island ice tea and some ribena vodka thing some strange girl had ordered!

Deibetto had been around earlier and had added some elixir to the hamsters drinking water. After being violated by Arlo, James and George had to have something to drink. After all, it was dehydration being slapped around a cage by some monster hamster in a leather biker outfit. Arlo also had some water, this began to have an effect on him too.

The more the hamsters drank, the larger they got, the smarter they got, and the more their sexual appetites increased. Soon, Kenji had the largest, most sexually perverted gay hamsters in Tokyo, possibly the world if it hadn't of been for a similar bar in the Netherlands that had been operating for many more years. (You go past the Amsterdam Moulin Rouge and turn left and keep going a few streets down, turn right and it's down the block about ten doors down, give or take ... not that I was there ... or on stage either, it was someone else who looked like me! honest!).

After a while, a plan formed in George's head and he shared it with James. They needed to break out of the cage, find some female hamster and raise their own hamster army to seek revenge on Arlo. No one made George his personal bitch! James agreed, well, except of course he changed the bit about no one making George a personal bitch to include himself.

It was time to start two things, first the escape plan and second some weapons to defend themselves from Arlo.