The Blog of Dabido (the Baka one). Everything in this blog is copyrighted. Copyright 2004, 2005, 2006 by D. Stevenson.

01 November, 2005

The Day I became a Neurosurgeon

Was a bit slow today, all I did was my new Cert IV course, so not much to report. Oh, they ran some horse race in Melbourne apparently. An important day in Aussie apparently, not that many ppl on the course cared. ANYWAY, todays post is about: The Day I became a Neurosurgeon You are probably wondering how a person becomes a NEUROSURGEON without becoming a Doctor first. Well, let me tell you. Being the curious sort of person I am, I like to read almost anything. Not easy when one said person is also dyslexic. One of the things i would occassionally do, was I'd sometimes catch a lift home with one of my flatmates. She used to work as a Butt Surgeon (read that as proctologist) receptionist. As she had to type up a heap of medical stuff, she'd often have a medical dictionary sitting on her desk ready to use while she's on the dictaphone typing up letters her boss had dictated. While waiting for the lift home, I'd get bored and decide to read stuff, which consisted of the dictionary. The other thing I'd do, is find something in the medical dictionary and make up silly stories based around the afflictions I'd be reading about. On top of this, I also learnt a bit of Medical jargon as I really AM VERY INTERESTED IN NEUROSURGURY stuff and BRAIN stuff. This means I would often be in the University library reading some of the medical stuff on the brain (or even some of the more laymen type stuff in a normal library). Now I never ever read this stuff with the intention of passing myself off as a neurosurgeon. NEVER EVER! One day, I was invited to go ten pin bowling with my friend Squid and his GF, plus Squids brother and friend who'd just come down from the country, and another guy named Charlie. When Squid introduced me to his bother and friend, he told thme I was studying to become a neurosurgeon!!!! Those who know Squid, know that he often does this sort of thing as a joke. (If you don't believe me, then you probably believe he is a drinks waiter at a crematorium). ANYWAY, the friend BELIEVED SQUID!!!! So this guy (I think I knew him as Greeny, as his last name was Green or something), well, he started asking all sorts of questions regarding Neurosurgury. Being the sort of person who likes to elongate a joke a little, I started talking to the guy and explaining the parts of the brain (hippocampus, frontal lobes etc etc), and using terms like Cerebral Hematosis, Subarachnoid Haemorrhage (British Spelling), and stuff. Thinking I was being rather cleaver. After about an hour, I decided I'd come clean, as this guy was TOTALLY amazed at meeting a REAL LIFE NEUROSURGURY STUDENT!!!! Ai Carumba! So i confessed to him that I was really studying Physics at University (which I was by that stage). Unfortunately, I had been TOO CONVINCING!!! This guy wouldn't believe me! He still believed I was a NEUROSURGURY STUDENT!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! The joke was backfiring!!!! (Thank goodness he didn't have a cerebral hematosis on the spot. He'd think I was a quack!!!) Well, everytime this guy was down from the country, he'd ask how my Neurosurgury course was going. Eventually, he moved to the city, so I was bumping into him often. There was only one thing I could do to get out of the lie. I had to lie again! Two wrongs do make a right ... well, not really, but in this case I was forced to do it, as they guy just wouldn't believe the truth!!! So, I told him I'd dropped out of Neurosurgury school! HE WAS DEVESTATED!!!! ALL THAT MONEY!!!! THE FREE SEX WITH NURSES!!!!! THE BIG HOUSE!!! THE BIG CAR!!! Geees, you'd swear the guy had lost all that himself!!!! Every now and then, I'd still run into the guy and if he'd forgotten and asked about the neurosurgury, I'd remind him I'd dropped out. 'Oh, yeah!' He'd reply glumly, as though he'd lost a million dollars. I am unsure how many people he'd told that he knew a neurosurgeon to, but I sure as anything am glad he never rocked up at my door with a friend bleeding from the head!!!! It'd hurt me in my medulla oblongata!!!!!