Last Day of NaNoWriMo

On the NaNoWriMo site, they use a word count verifier to ensure your novel makes the word count. On my software it came to 59,989 or something (I forget exactly how many), and the NaNoWriMo site claims that 60,148 words. So it's added about 200 words for me. If I knew that, I'd have writen only 48,000 words. lol

As I said previously though, my novel is still going, so when it ends, I'll be using my own software to do the word count. I susect it will be over the 100,000 mark.

I have to go through correcting lots of it. I finished it using the Dragon Naturally Speaking software, which allows me to write abotu 2000 words in five minutes (give or take a few), which means you get sentences like:

he speedy to work. face we was lying flat on his back somewhere. Someone was potent in the stick.

Intead of this:

Eddie awoke. He was lying flat on his back somewhere. Someone was poking him with a stick.

So there is still some work to be done, as well as finishing it and all. I just hope the end doesn't upset to many people. lol

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They had a question today on the NaNoWriMo webpage. They asked Lael Gold a lecturer in literature at UC Berkeley, California, USA this:

Q: Lael, many NaNo participants find that their novels take over their thoughts, day and night. You've had some crazy dreams. Would you stretch out on the NaNo couch and tell us about them?

A: The process of accelerated noveling has definitely affected my dreams. The night following a catch-up day when I'd doubled my regular word count, I dreamed that I encountered a young man in his twenties who, instead of wearing blue jeans, had inked his right leg in blue...

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I feel REALLY left out! My novels didn't do that to me ... probably because the Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars is like a surreal dream like thing anyway ... so not much it could do. The official NaNoWriMo novel 'Edmond McCarty's Accident' ... well, that has dream or dream like sequences in it. Maybe that is the secret - or maybe I just write so fast and have most of my ideas worked out in my head well enough that I don't dream any of it. Or maybe I just forget all my dreams.

Anyway, I have to get back to running my business. lol Reduce Oil, reduce oil! lol

NaNoWriMo - Chapter 25

Eddie awoke. We was lying flat on his back somewhere. Someone was poking him with a stick. He looked up, and found he was staring into the sun, with a vague silhouette of someone standing over him. The silhouette turned into the face of America as she leaned forward to get a better look. 'You awake now?' she asked. She prodded him with the stick one more time to make sure. Eddie was slightly frightened. He still had not got over the shock of being somewhere he least expected to be. He still was not sure where it was. He looked around with a scared look on his face. 'You're on my lawn,' said America. 'What?' 'My lawn. You're sleeping on my lawn. Come inside, we'll discuss it some more.' 'Discuss what?' 'What we spoke about before. You remember? Before?' 'Before? Before when?' 'You have no memory of what we spoke of before?' 'No, should I?' Eddie was perplexed. This old woman was considered weird at the best of times. 'Before your accident. We spoke of it before. I thought that was why you wanted to see me the other day. You never mentioned it.' 'Mentioned it? Mentioned ... what? What did we discuss before the accident?' 'Come inside. We must talk again then.' Eddie stood up and was aching all over. Why did he feel so tired all the time? He felt exhausted. Maybe this was what it was like to run a marathon. He brushed himself off a little, and followed America back into her house. The house looked completely unfamiliar. Like he had never been their before. The opposite of de ja vu. It was called jamais vu. He had a sensation he had never ever been in this house before. It all looked totally unfamiliar, yet he knew in his mind that he had in fact been in many times before. in fact, he had visited just the other day. Why did it all seem so weirdly different? He suspected it had to do with the talisman that was now burned into his heart. 'Shut the door behind you,' America said. 'We have a lot to discuss if you can't remember anything.' 'I can remember some things. I remember you.' 'Hmph, so you should young man. So you should. Come into the kitchen and sit down a while.' Eddie felt he could go in to the kitchen and sleep a thousand sleeps. He was just so tired. 'Sit down. Sit down. I'll make us some tea, and I'll read your tea leaves for you.' 'Um, thanks,' Eddie was not sure what to make of it. He had no memory of having tea leaves read for him before. Something in his psyche told him that he had allowed America to read them for him previously. 'The pots already boiled,' she said as she placed two tea cups on the table. She picked up the tea pot and swished it around in the air a little. It came back to him about his previous visits. Jim and Eddie used to visit all the time for about a year. That was why Eddie and Jim were afraid of her and started to avoid her. At first it had seemed exciting. They visited her, she would read their tea leaves, or their palms or tell them something regarding their futures. She told Jim, he was eventually going to be a stock broker and make millions of dollars. Eddie, well, he was going to become a famous artists or something. He was not going to ever be as rich as Jim, but she was certain he would be successful and well known. Both of the boys took it to heart. They became a little freaked out when she revealed to Jim that his Grandmother was due to die soon. Two months later, she died. Then, America started to tell Jim that his Grandmother was visiting her all the time. At first Jim was a little upset, but tried to ignore it. Then came the day that she started to inform him of things he had never shared with anyone. Things that a ghost might just be able to find out. So Jim became convinced that America was really talking to his dead Grandmother. It scared him and Eddie enough that they began avoiding her at all costs. Now she poured the tea and Eddie was going to have her consult the leaves. He drank, making sure he did not drink the tea leaves, then he placed the cup down for her to read them. 'I can see you need help. Help from a friend, but you are unsure how to get them to help you. You need their help, as you are trying to help another friend. Still, maybe there is another who may be of benefit. Someone else who can help you achieve what you want to achieve. Someone different to you and your friends. Someone who knows how to defeat the evil which has your friend ensnared!' America was deliberately trying to be vague. She was hoping Eddie would interpret her as the one he should seek help from. She was hoping Jim was the friend in need of help, and that Eddie would assume Mark was the evil. Eddie's mind did not think along those lines at all. He interpreted it to mean he had to seek the Magi out. The Magi would help him to help Slim. Slim was the friend in need, and the demons were the evil. He started thinking and assumed that the magi would tell him how to bring Jim into the realm of sleep with him. An ally to help fight the evil and to help liberate Slim. America's mind was set on one path to try to bring Eddie back to the fold. To try to convince him to visit her more often. It was the sort of control she loved over people's lives. She could make people love you or hate you, the same way she controlled Lillian, and the same way she made people hate Mark. Power over other people. It was better than money, more important than television and America had honed the art of manipulating people to like who she liked, and hate who she hated. She was the queen, people did her bidding. The power made her feel euphoric. People did what she said, just because she had said it. She felt like she was providing a service. She made people's lives easier by making all their hard decisions for them. Who to marry, who to talk to, who to hate. She felt putting spells on people to make them fall in love was a good thing. The fact that it removed people's free will was irrelevant. As far as she was concerned, love was a good emotion, so making two fall in love was therefore a good thing. The fact they might be incompatible was irrelevant. Her job was important, and people should just do what she says without question. Then there was Bob and Akane. She was going to put a stop to that. She hated Akane, though she never did know why. She was just certain that Akane deserved to be brought down a few pegs and she did not like the fact that Bob had grown so close to her. That was a relationship America was going to nip in the bud, and she was going to stop it for good.

Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars Part 5

Shou Nishimura was the head of the 'Undercover, Monkey Training, Hamster Feed Pellet Shooting Yakuza Gang'. They liked to shorten the name to 'UMTHamFePeShoYa Gang', which in turn got shortened to just 'UMTHam' and lately just 'UM'. His right hand man was Ryota Miyamoto. There wasn't much further these two men could progress in the organisation, especially as they were the only two in the gang. It wasn't always that way though. A few short years ago, when Shou and Ryota were just recruits, the rest of the gang were killed in a bloody shoot out with the, 'Beer Guzzling, Dragon Eating, Power Team Sufficient Yakuza Gang'. The whole incident occurred when a complimentary barrel of beer was delivered to the combined Yakuza Gangs 'Forget the Year' party. Both gangs had decided to split the bill evenly. Ten kegs of beer each, each of the two gangs paying for the kegs they were to consume. As the truck was being unloaded, the truck driver informed them, that as an end of year special, a complimentary keg of beer was being given away with every twenty kegs ordered. What followed was pandemonium. The Beer Guzzling gang decided they should have the extra beer, as they at least had the word 'beer' in their name and as such had a reputation to uphold. UM thought they keg should have been split between the two gangs, for after all, they did pay for half the beer. No one was really sure who pushed who first, but soon many of them were pushing each other. The pushing turned into punching, then kicking, then stabbing, shooting, screaming, and pulling of hair. Shou and Ryoka, being rather young novices at the time, thought it was all part of the proceedings. They grabbed the extra barrel and sat back drinking, watching what they believed was a normal Yakuza party. Two of the beer guzzlers novices noticed that Shou and Ryoka had the extra keg, and immediately joined them in drinking it all. By the end of the night, all four had passed out. They awoke to find themselves the only four survivors of the night and stuck in a police cell. The police questioned them, but were unable to get anything concrete from any of the young men, as they had all been completely blind drunk at the time. Yes, there had been a fight. Yes, there had been shooting. Yes, people had been killed. Who had been killed? Everyone. Who fired the first shot? I don't know! What were you doing at the time? Drinking beer. Why didn't you join in the fight, or try to stop it? We thought it was all part of the proceedings. In the end, the police had to let them go. It was obvious the four young men didn't have a clue. Upon returning to UM headquarters, Shou, who was the senior of the two recruits, became head of that Yakuza gang. Shou had been born on the fourth of January nineteen seventy seven, while Ryoka had been born on the fourth of August of the same year. Those seven months had made all the difference to who inherited the Yakuza Gangs top position. There was no hard feelings between the two rival Yakuza gangs, and the Beer Guzzlers arranged a night out on the town. They had heard about the 'Gay Hamster Bar' and decided it was a good nights entertainment watching gay hamsters getting it on. They invited Shou and Ryota along for the fun. Shou and Ryota had been planning on seeing the new 'Godzilla Versus Joan of Arc' movie. The night at the Gay Hamster Bar sounded a lot better. After all, the Hollywood franchising of movies had got a little out of control. They take one character and exploit it every way they can, T-Shirts, marketing, DVD's, CD's, games, toothpaste, vibrators, glue, bank loans ... you name it, Hollywood was taking a slice of the pie. It was almost enough for Shou to burn his 'Hello Kitty' gun holster, but he decided against it, after all, it was a present from his mother.

Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars

Kenji arrived back at the Gay Hamster bar at eleven in the morning. He was still half asleep with the thumping of techno beats still running through his head. What a night. He was a bit confused too. Niku and Deibetto had turned up with two of the best looking women he had ever seen. They both must have been about twenty years old, and somehow those two geeks had successfully hit on them. Maybe they were both after their money. It did not make much sense to Kenji. He had known both Deibetto and Niku for years, and he had never seen them have much luck with the ladies. Those two girls could dance too. They must have been professionals or something. How do two geeks pick up two professional dancers? What were their names? Megumi and Melisa. Weird. Kenji just could not get it through his head. And why did Deibetto have those huge marks on his neck. Love bites! He had obviously started the romance a little early that night with his new girlfriend. She must have been a go'er, it looked like she'd bitten him a couple of times. He sat at the bar going through the books for the previous night. The beer delivery should arrive shortly, he thought. He was rubbing his head and looked up towards the hamster cage. 'Eh?' he said to himself. One end of the hamster cage was completely shattered. Amongst the shattered glass lay Arlo, unconscious and looking very wounded. The poor hamster had been shot by something. Kenji looked around. James and George were missing. Kenji looked high and low for them. They had to be in the bar somewhere. He did not have time to look. Arlo needed medical attention and he needed it soon. He had to assume George and James were okay. Maybe they had been shot as well and were lying in the dark somewhere. He looked around again, behind chairs, behind tables. He could not see them anywhere. He picked up Arlo, gently craddling him and wrapped him in a bar towel. He raced out the back to his car and drove Arlo to the nearest vetinarian. As it was an emergency, they looked at Arlo almost immediately. The doctor was amazed at the wounds Arlo had suffered. Someone had shot him using Hamster Feed Pellets. What sort of sick maniac creates a gun which can shoot feed pellets? The gun would not be leathal to a human, but hit a hamster enough times with it, and you can possibly kill them. Kenji had made it just in time. Poor Arlo was in need of a lot of attention and was going to be kept in the animal hospital for a few days. The doctor also noticed something else which was unusual. Arlo was beginning to grow some opposable thumbs. Not realising it was a mutation caused by Deibetto's elixir, the doctor wondered at the unusual deformity the hamster had on it's paws. Kenji left Arlo at the animal hospital. He returned to search for James and George. Maybe they were in a similar condition somewhere. Lying in a pool of their own hamster blood. He searched through the bar. Every cupboard, behind every refridgerator and every stove in the kitchen. He could not find them anywhere. He did find something strange though. One of the upper windows had been broken. It was too small for a human to fit through, and there were some hamster droppings on the window ledge. He had to wonder if someone had trained a monkey to use a pellet gun. They then smashed the glass and let the monkey in to attack the hamsters. He assumed it was some jealous rival. Maybe the Yakuza! The undercover, monkey training, hamster feed pellet shooting Yakuza! Yes, it had to be them! He had never heard of them before, but he knew they must exist. What other possible explaination could there be for this to have occurred?

NaNoWriMo - Chapter 24

Eddie needed something to protect him. He needed to find something he could use as a weapon against the demons. He knew they could not harm him as he was still very much alive. Only just though. The accident could have sent him to the city of souls. The souls, all waiting to be judged. Eddie had made it to the cave. He had looked through the scrolls. He dare not open any, as opening a scroll was the same as using it. It would instantly disappear, and whatever the scroll did was done. You had to know your scrolls. Each had a mark on the scroll. Strange writings, and not all the writings were the same. He looked at one scroll. The symbol for water was on it. Eddie did not know that though. It was the Chinese symbol representing a splashing drop. Even if Eddie did read Chinese, he still would not know what the scroll actually did. Water could mean a lot of things. A flood? Rain? A glass of cool water? The symbol only had meaning to a magi who knew what each one did. Eddie took that scroll anyway. He also took a scroll with some viking ruins on it. Another he took, it had an Egyptian hieroglyph. The hieroglyph was so faded that Eddie could not read it anyway. It had a picture of Maahes on it. A lesser Egyptian god, who was a protector. He would go before the sky bark, the sun boat, eating all the evil before him as he travelled through the underworld or darkness. The hieroglyph for Maahes was a strong man, a warrior with the head of a lion. He was the protector of the weak. Somewhere in the cave was the talisman too. Eddie looked. He could not find it anywhere. 'Where is the talisman?' he asked the voice. The voice did not reply. Eddie knew in his heart that the voice only ever said what Eddie already knew, or suspected he knew. The voice could confirm things, but could never give Eddie any new information. The talisman could protect. He needed it. He was sure that the talisman would allow him to walk into the city of souls, take Slim's soul out of the city with him so that Slim would not face judgement and go to hell. It never occurred to him what might happen to Slim's soul once he rescued him. Where was the talisman? The scrolls were in some sort of special order. Eddie knew that. Somehow, they were organised. Someone must come here. Who? 'Who organises the scrolls?' Eddie asked the voice. 'The Magi does it. Only he can discern all that is meant by the markings.' 'Can I learn to read them? Can I learn to tell what they do?' 'Maybe. The Magi knows them all. He has to. He has to arrange them according to their meanings.' 'Where can I find the Magi?' 'He lives somewhere in the forest.' 'We just came through the forest.' 'No, a different forest.' As the voice spoke it, Eddie realised that he already knew that. He knew it was a lush green forest. Very dark. You had to follow the thin path through it. The shrubs were too closely packed to get through the rest of the forest. Only the path took you places, and it sometimes had many intersections. Nothing was marked either. If you placed a sign post up, the people who lived in the forest would tear it down. They knew their way through the forest, and they did not like outsiders to know it too well. The entire forest was known only to a handful of it's inhabitants. Most of the inhabitants only knew what they needed to know, or only what they chose to know. If they had fresh water, food and wood to keep them warm in winter, then they were happy. They did not understand the fascination some people had for always needing to rush around and go places. Animals gave you clothing and food to eat. The natural vegetation gave you wood for fires, fruit to eat, fibre to make cloth. Why the need to travel? Why the need to rush everywhere? Eddie knew the forest in his mind. He had been there sometime before. Had he met the Magi before? Why did he know the forest? Why was he having trouble remembering why he was there? He remembered the actual physical place. He remembered where some of the paths lead too. Why had he been there? He was thinking these things and searching through the alcoves with the scrolls in them. The scrolls piled into the alcoves, little pigeon holes with five to ten scrolls in each. Suddenly his hand hit something solid. As he removed all the scrolls from t he pigeon hole, he saw a small hole in the bottom. In that hole, was another very tiny scroll and a talisman. The hole was cut to exact specifications to accommodate the talisman and attached scroll. Eddie wedged his fingers into the hole to try to get the scroll and talisman out. He succeeded, and grinned to himself as he held the talisman in his hand. He ripped it off the scroll. To his shock, the scroll rolled open. He had not meant to open the scroll. He feared what it might do. he stood in shocked silence as the scroll did not disappear. It did not activate. How unusual, he thought to himself. He had expected the scroll to dissolve before his eyes and lightning to strike or something. Nothing happened. He looked at one hand with the talisman. he looked at the other with the unraveled scroll. It had writing on it. He looked closely. He could not read it. It was in Hebrew. Eddie did not know that. Eddie looked closer at the talisman and found that it had a piece of leather strap to allow it to be worn by the user. He used both hands to unloop it. Still with the little scroll in his left hand, he held the strap in front of him. He allowed the talisman to hang in front, gently swaying back and forth. He placed the loop over his head and allowed the talisman to fall to his chest. To his horror, his arms shot straight out in front of him, so hard it felt like he damaged his elbow joints. He watched in horror as the scroll dissolved and crumbled in his hand, the dust blowing away in a breeze which he could not feel. The talisman and leather strap turned white hot and started to burn into his flesh. 'Wrong talisman,' said the voice. Eddie did not have a chance to react much. He clenched his teeth together do hard he felt like they would break. His clothes caught fire from the intense heat of the talisman and burned from his body. he fell backwards onto the cave floor. As we watched, he saw the talisman burning into his flesh and start to sink into his chest. The intense white heat burning in unbearable pain into his neck and chest. The talisman slowly sank further and further into his chest till it was level with his skin. Then, his skin started to heal over and the talisman burned into his heart. It burned in a way that made it seem like millions of small burning metal spikes were embedded in his heart. He thought he was going to die. The pain was more intense than anything he had ever felt before. He watched the red bloody skin slowly heal over the hole burned into his chest by the talisman. In seconds the hole was gone and the burning had stopped. The talisman and leather strap had somehow burned their way inside of him. It had become part of him. Whatever this talisman did, Eddie now had the power. The talismans power, was his power.

Home From Hospital

I brought my mother home from hospital today. Not immediately though. Started the day going to do some work. Was a bit surprised when I was thrown in the deep end and asked to take a 'training' session. I had originally been asked to just set up internet access for the machines and get all the software registered. I wanted to attach to the internet to register, but alas, the stupid OS wouldn't let me till it was registered! So I phoned Microsoft and got all the OS's registered. Then, I had to do the training. I spent some of the day then trying to get the machines on the internet. I hadn't realised it, but the manager had turned off 'internet sharing' on the PC which attaches to the internet. By the time I realised it, it was almost time to go home. Another training session started, and I had to vamooooos out of there, so I organised to go back tomorrow for an hour. I then did a quick shop and bought some things ready for my mother's return home. I phoned her at the hospital, and she was ready to come home, so I drove there to pick her up. She had to walk very slowly, as she has had major surgury. I wanted to race ahead and get the cat and throw her stuff in the boot etc. She didn't want me to, and made sure I walked almost all the way to the front with her. She was at the back of the hospital and so it was a long long long long long walk. I was surprised they didn't let her use a wheel chair. We got to the entrance, and I was asked to go pay for her pharmacy bill (ie pay for the drugs she had while in the hospital), so I did that. I then brought the car to the entrance for her. A nice lady helped her to get into the car. We got home, and she was surprised to see the floors done. Especially in her bedroom. When she got out of the car, she had noticed some pickets, from the picket frence my brother and I had built. DARN! She asked about them, and I said, 'You'll have to ask Jeff', as I didn't want to give anything away until she had seen the floor. She came in, and was astonished. The place looked like a completely different house. I then showed her the picket fence out the back. She loved that too as it reminder her of England and the countryside where she had grown up around Salisbury. I then told her not to unpack all the stuff for her dressing table (as we had put most of her stuff into boxes when doing the floor), as I had the airconditioning guy coming on the thirtieth to install the air conditioning. My mother was really in shock and started to cry with happiness. I wish my brother Jeff could have been there to see it, as a lot of the work was his and he deserved to be there. I made my mother sit down and I made her a cup of tea. She watched television most of the day and night. I got stuck into my NaNoWriMo novel. Really stuck into it as I wanted to finish it off. I think it's going to be about 100,000 words long or more. Enough to get it published for real (if we go down that path). I finished off a lot of chapters tonight and was really happy. I chucked it through the NaNoWriMo word counter and found that came to over 60,000 words. NaNoWriMo only requires 50,000. Still, the actual novel is still not finished and hopefully a few little efforts will finish it off in the next few days. As I'm posting the chapters one at a time on the site, it'll take a while to get to the end. I'm well past Chapter 23, which I only just posted. I also wrote a little of the Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars tonight. I told you there were robotic vampires ... and now you know there really are! (Don't worry, the Deibetto character ain't dead yet ... well, maybe not! hee hee!) Not much else to tell really, just an awful lot of typing done, and more to come! :-) How is everyone. I feel like I've missed out on the entire world for the last few days as I had so much to do. I heard Georgie Best died. He was one of my soccer heroes when I was growing up. When I was playing soccer in Penang, we all wanted to be just like him. (Even if he did play for Man U). :-) What else happened? How is everyone? Anything major I need to know?

NaNoWriMo Chapter 23

Mark Fisher sat at his home computer. He was on google searching for porn sites. He was a member of many illicit sites and used his credit cards often to join the sites. He used to refer to this activity as 'research'. Being a film producer, he often found it easy to bed young hopefuls who thought his bed was a quick way into a movie, or a project he was working on. Sometimes, it was. Other times, it was just a way for Mark to abuse his position and get free sex. He was amazed sometimes at how young the girls could be. He also found it funny that often he video taped his conquests. Sometimes, they would pose for him in all sorts of positions. With the ease of technology, his collection had moved digital, along with his equipment to record his collection. On one of his bookshelves he had a complete shelf of CD's and DVD's he had created. Admittedly, a lot of those were ones he had converted from video tape into the digital medium. With his connections though, it was not difficult to hire or borrow equipment for this use though. Today he typed 'Japanese School Girls' into the browser. A small part of him was hoping that Akane's picture had somehow turned up on the net. He was certain her flashing him that night was no accident. He was sure her relationship with Slim, and lately Bob was sure to have generated some form of pornography that the boys would have placed on the Internet in an attempt to brag about their conquest. It never occurred to him that not everyone recorded their conquests like he did. He assumed what he did was all perfectly natural and that everyone did it. He was clicking through the sites. Most of them he already had membership for. In fact, some days it was difficult for him to find a site he did not already have membership with. He was not paying too much attention to the links he was clicking. One of them, labelled paedophile, he missed the title on and just clicked. He was a bit amazed to see it was a listing of male paedophiles in his local area. He decided to have a browse through the photographs to see if there was any one he recognised. While browsing, he noticed it had a search and sort facility. He typed in the name of his local suburb and pressed the search button. He was very curious to see the sort of people living in his area who were, what he considered, scumbags. To his complete shock, the first photograph and name were his own. It even listed his home address, his telephone number and many personal details that he did not think people should know. After the initial shock of seeing his own face come up, he became furious. This was right out slander. On top of that, it listed his ways for people to contact him in order to abuse him. He became angrier and started to work himself into a rage unlike he had ever felt. Normally he was a very passive sort of person. He seldom yelled, he was seldom upset and he never ever turned to violence as a way to solve his problems. Now, he felt like he could kill someone. The adrenaline made him get up and pace around the room. He picked up an award he had won. A Best Produce award from some festival he had long since forgotten, and threw the award to the ground. Luckily, it was rather solid and did not shatter or break. He then kicked the award and paced the room swear to himself. He went back to the computer and looked. Sure enough, he had not dreamt it. He had not imagined it. He was wide awake and this was not a dream. He was going to sue someone, and he was going to make them wish they had never ever crossed him. He was going to make them wish they had never lived. He picked up his telephone. He had his lawyer on a quick dial setting. He pressed the number. His Lawyer was used to working on contracts for films, but his connections should give him the ability to recommend the best lawyer for slander in the city, maybe even the country. Mark did not mind paying for a good quality lawyer, and he wanted the best and he wanted that lawyer now. He sat back down in front of the computer. He looked at the date. His details had only been posted the day before. He hoped that the lawyer would act swiftly and all record of this would be removed from the web as soon as humanly possible. Someone was going to pay for this, and he was going to make them pay very, very dearly.

Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars Part 3

Deibetto arrived home late. He politely nodded at the young Japanese man peeing on his tree in the front of the apartment building. He also politely nodded to Tanaka San, the landlady who also lived on the top floor. She was on her way to the local Mos Burger place to buy a whale burger. Deibetto had one of the apartments on the ground floor. He was fortunate as he also had access to the basement where he was able to work on his secret experiments. His friend Niku had a key to his apartment, as Niku was doing the programming on his secret project. He entered the apartment and heard the booming beats of Niku's music. He immediately recognised the tune, 'You Taste Better When I'm Knurd', one of Niku's best. He checked his fridge. Left overs; Rice, rice with seaweed, rice with seaweed and cucumber, sushi with rice, seaweed and cucumber, more rice, one month old rice ... going green. Man! Isn't there anything without rice? He chose a bottle of Johnny Walker and coke, then headed down the stairs to the basement. BOOM BOOM BOOOM 'You Taste better when I'm Knurd' BOOM BOOM BOOM Niku noticed Deibetto come down the stairs. He was pretty excited. He typed a few extra lines and compiled the program. Pressed the transfer button. A little blue bar appeared on the screen of Niku's laptop. It slowly grew across the screen with the words 'Transfer 30% complete', it kept incrementing, forty percent, fifty percent, sixty percent. 'We're almost ready Deibs,' Niku said. 'Cool,' replied Deibetto as he danced to the techno beat while sipping his scotch and coke. Niku had a bottle of the same stuff next to him and took a big swig. 'One Hundred Percent, now for the next unit,' Niku said. He clicked a button, selected the next unit M.E.L. and clicked the transfer button. 'First Unit ready?' 'Yep!' Deibetto picked up a remote marked M.E.G. and pressed a little red button with the international standard 'on/off' symbol on it. Finally they had completed the dream of almost every male geeky nerd in existence. They had their own working Robotic Girlfriends. Meg stirred to life. 'Hello world,' she said as she sat up straight. 'Hello world?' Deibetto asked. 'Um, standard geek program. When most people learn to write a new language, normally the first thing they learn is to write a "hello world" program. It just prints "Hello World" to the screen normally,' replied Niku. 'Oh, guess it makes sense,' said Deibetto. Then continued on by addressing Meg. 'Please, stand up.' The Meg unit stood up. 'Coooooooooooool,' said Niku and Deibetto together. Niku noticed the transfer had finished to the M.E.L. unit and picked up it's remote. He pressed the on/off button. The Mel unit stirred to life. 'Hello world,' said the Mel unit. 'Hello Mel,' said the Meg Unit. 'Hello Meg,' replied the Mel Unit. 'Sooo cool man! We have two working girlfriend units. We'll be the envy of all the guys in Tokyo! We're so cool,' said Deibetto. 'Wait till we finish running some diagnostics on it matey. We don't want one of these babes malfunctioning when we're out in public with them,' said Niku. He pressed a button on his laptop screen marked 'Run Diagnostics Unit M.E.L.' He then pressed the same for the M.E.G. unit. The eyes in the Meg and Mel units rolled backwards, then kept rolling like a Vegas one armed bandit trying to find three lemons. CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK Both machines moved forward and started performing dance routines Madonna would have been proud to have performed. Then, they started going through Tai Chi moves. They then tried some special 'flying squirrel dirty swamp dragon' moves, a martial art designed specifically for the two units. Then, the both landed together in the middle of the room, stood perfectly still for ten seconds. Then, they opened their mouths, and two silver fangs lowered from the top of their teeth. In one movement, both units leapt at Deibetto. He had no chance to move, or evade. They were both on him, one on the left, the other on the right. Both plunged their fangs into his neck. He didn't have time to scream, they were on him and sucking his blood out of his neck. 'Hmm, I wasn't expecting that,' said Niku.

Jeff and Dabido Floor Another Room

Here are some pictures of my mother's room - complete with MOLD from under the carpet. BEFORE: Ripping Up Moldy Carpet Back To Cement Black Plastic Stage Underlay Stage Finshed Room My brother Jeff and I did a lot of work - in order to fool my mother, we visited her TWICE today. First in the morning, and then secondly at night after Jeff had done her washing for her. The Guy in the pictures is Jeff. Decided to make him famous. We also waited till after twelve before starting as it was a Sunday and we didn't want to disturb the neighbours with the circular saw going. We also made a picket fence for part of the house. I hope my mother appreciates it all. I am very p!$$3d off with something which happened today though. My sister and her husband KNOWS that Jeff and I are doing the hallway etc as well, and tonight he volunteered to my mother to BUY and INSTALL the floor. Now I know that they KNOW I HAVE ALREADY BOUGHT THE FLOORBOARDS BECAUSE I TOLD THEM!!!!!! THEY ALREADY KNOW I AM DOING IT ALL!!!!! SO WHY THE FRIG PRETEND TO VOLUNTEER FOR SOMETHING THEY ALREADY KNOW IS BEING DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can tell you why! So they can say they volunteered WHEN THEY FRIGGIN KNEW THERE WASN"T A FRIGGIN NEED TO! Well, a lot of it has to do with their friggin' sanguine nature! They love being the centre of attention and they FRIGGIN' don't like the fact that Jeff and I have done the majority of the friggin' work! I got this baby rolling! For 22 or 23 years this house has had NO PERMANTENT FLOORING!!!!!!! Only stupid second/third/fourth/fifth hand carpet whcih is friggin' filthy and always in need of being cleaned!!! Even though for twenty of those years NOT ONE of my brothers or my sister ever lifted a finger to help my mother around her, or to get her permanent flooring! I returned from Sydney and did it, and now my SISTER and HER HUSBAND want to look like they friggin' helped or had the idea of doing the friggin' hallway! TOO FRIGGIN" LATE! I WAS THERE FIRST!!!! And as Jeff said, in a year or TWO my sister and her Husband will CLAIM THE WHOLE THING AS THEIR IDEA AND NO ONE WILL REMEMBER WHO DID THE FRIGGIN" THING! WHen I heard of him making the offer WHEN HE FRIGGIN' KNEW I WAS ALREADY DOING IT, I was so p!$$3d off, I said to Jeff that I felt like going back to Sydney, as everything I have ever done in this family gets put down somehow! In this case, the flooring will get recycled and as Jeff said, in TEN YEARS my sister and husband will claim they actually did the work! I am so friggin' sick of this crap happening. Nothing is ever good enough, nothing is appreciated. I was so happy in Sydney! WHY WHY WHY? Why DID I RETURN TO THIS!!!!? Oh, that's right, i thought some of them might have grown up a little ... but they haven't. They still have their stupid petty jealousy things going. It's probably a little hard to explain, but Jeff knows what I am talking about. Everything I do somehow is insignficant or someone else takes credit for it. Plus my mother always friggin' forgets. Jeff thinks she is going mad. (Thank goodness I am already crazy ... no where else to go but sane from here!!!) :-) I better find all the litle errors etc i made and fix them, because the next step is having the sister and brother inlaw come over and critisize it and say how they would have done it better. It'll happen! It always friggin' does! FRIGGIN' ATTENTION SEEKING SANGUINES! I hate them, they're always trying to force their way into soem lime light that isn't theirs! Jeff & I did this nice thing for my mother and already they're trying to turn it into something it isn't! Anyway, Rant mode finished! Visited my mother in hopital, and was being my usual self making her laugh - and being told off, as she's not allowed to laugh in case the stitches break or something, so I was being told off all the time. I really cracked her up when she was talking about the dogs slipping. She said it was probably their fur, and said it was like us slipping on our hair while walking around. I asked what weird position must you be standing in to be able to walk on your hair? My poor mum couln't stop laughing ... yeah, I probably didnt' tell it to well ... it's one of those spontaneous things and i can't remember my exact words ... but, my poor mum was laughing and trying so hard not to. Then, I sat there trying to bite my friggin' tongue, but all these funny thoughts kept coming into my head. I was so temped to say things, but instead I had to sit their giggling to myself. My mother was talking about ome doco she watched where they were making that new HUGE passenger plane. She was talking about how the different bits are being made in different parts of europe. She was saying the wings are made in Wales. I just burst out in sniggers. I was trying so hard not to say something like: How do they get the wings out? Stick their fingers down the wales throat? Or I bet they have a foreman named Jonah who expects the wings in three days! Or I bet there is a big poster saying, 'Don't operate heavy machinery or heavy mammals when under the influence of alcohol!' I had a million stupid things I wanted to say ... but I wasn't game to! I just kept sniggering and my mother kept telling me off for being an idiot! lol Oh, dear! So hard NOT to say stupid things when there are so many sitters! On the way home, my brother told me that I have no respect for authority and I am always making fun of people being serious and stuff. ROFL. Me??? lol

Finsihed Floors Part II

Carpet and Cement in it's natural wild glory, along with our two doggies, Toby and Elly. Sit! Sit! Sit! Okay, rack off then stupid dogs! Pure unadulterated CEMENT! They build the Coloseum out of this stuff in Rome ... then forgot how to do it and had to re-invent it! I had to clean this back to EXTRA SUPER CLEAN! Next Stage, lay the black plastic down. Add the underlay (Underlay, Underlay Ariba Ariba!) When I was half way through, my youngest brother decided to take a snap shot of the fatman himself (aka ME) :-) THE FINSHED PRODUCT! WOO HOO! Three days work, with other things liek WORK thrown in for good messure. I got my brother Jeff to help me clean up, because frankly I WAS EXHAUSTED!!!! But you knew that from previous posts! :-) No, I won't come to yhour place and do yours!! ROFL!

Room is Finished!!

Am I tired or WHAT??? Finally finished laying the floorboards down in the room. 40 square metres of them. I know, it doesn't sound like much, but as a one man job, it was not easy. BEFORE These pictures show the smelly carpet we used to have down. Also the bare concrete. More pictures tomorrow. :-)

Soooooooooo tired!

So tired after another tiring day. Going to bed early too ... yes, I am. Started the day being awoken at 5AM. I know I said I was going to bed at 11:30 ... but I didn't. I was using the circular saw in the bathroom, and forgot to clean the mess, so 11:30 last night I suddenly go, 'Oh yeah! Have to clean the friggin' bathroom' Main reason to clean too, is the wood is made of that stupid sawdust/plastic glue combination, which means the sawdust from the wood sticks to things once it gets a little wet and becomes hard to remove. Made it to bed after midnight. Got too cold with the fan on, so woke up, at 2AM, turned it off. 2:30AM, woke up, way too hot, also needed to pee. Found heaps of spiders running around the house (because of the carpet being ripped up and the furniture being moved). Vowed to myself to spray some surface spray before my mother gets back (she refuses to use the stuff, as she still thinks it's all arsnic. I keep telling her, 'NO, they now use nerve agents - same stuff they use in chemical warfare to kill humans and give them psychological problems!' For some reason she still doesn't want to use it!) Anyway, way too many creepy crawly bugs around the house. My brother mader so much noise he woke me at 5Am. He usually likes to wake mum up, but she isn't here! She's in hospital! So he made enough to wake me up. I pretended to be asleep still! :-) I got out of bed at about 8:30AM - Saw to the dogs etc and raced off to see my Business mentor at a 10AM meeting. Raced to my sisters to give her two book my mother wanted while she is in hospital. (Because my sister was going to th ehospital before me). I raced home, as a lady was delivering something for my mother today. I phoned her the other day to say I would be home after 11AM ... she said fine she'll come then ... she never turned up!!! PPPppptttthhh! Spent a lot of time laying more floorboards etc. Have started using an old Sydney University Top to help batter the boards into place. My mother has always hated the to as it's falling to pieces, and I keep wearing it! Bwahahahaaa! Anyway, she keeps telling me to get rid of it and she never wants to see it again. Today, I accidentally got it caught between two boards I'd bashed together. I tried to prise the boards apart to remove it ... but alas, the boards were just hammered in too tight. So, that shirt my mother never wanted to see again ... she'll see everytime she looks at those floorboards! Bwahahahaaa! [I swear, it wasn't intentional!] My poor back and knees couldn't take much more. I raced off to another business meeting this afternoon. On the way back, I bought and organised for airconditioning to be placed in my mother's room (and in mine as well ... I can't survive the summer nights here any more if they get too hot. Two summer here has almost killed me!) I figured my mother would need the airconditioning once she is out of hospital. Got home, tried to do soem more with the floor boards, but my POOR KNEEEEES! ARGH! My brother arrived home and we went to see my mother in hospital. Spent two hours there cheering her up and stuff. I made her laugh and stuff, and got told off. I tried, 'But I wanted to keep her in stitches' joke, but no one laughed ... or the second time I said it! darn! Anyway, I made her laugh and she said she was feeling much better since our visit. She'd been vomiting earlier, even though they'd given her anti-vomit medication. (Which is funny, I've been given injections to stop me vomiting before, only to have me vomit everywhere! Must be hereditary! Or the 'vomit injections' are supposed to make you chuck!!!) :-) Jeff and I stopped by Hungry Jacks on the way back. I had to order my Vegie burger to be made in the round BUNS specially for me, as those BAGLE things are awful! Now I am feeling sick and I have to go make my bed (as I did all my washing today) and it's 11 PM and I'm tired and I have to be up at 6AM ... blah! I feel sick! Oh, here is something funny - I have been trying to get the dogs used to the new floor boards, but they hate them. It's slippery for them, and it's funny to watch, as I put them on the floorboards, and their little legs go in every direction. It's like watching someone learn to ice skate for the first time. :-)

Update - Mother's Operation.

Sorry, didn't have time to do much writing today. Early start - up at 5 Am. Took mum to Hospital for her Hystarectomy. The Doctor refered to ME as my mother's husband. My mother had a good laugh and told him i was her son. The Doctor then said, 'Oh sorry, you look more mature with the beard. I didn't realise you were still a teenager' WTF???? My mother then pointed out that I wasn't a teenager, I WAS FORTY YEARS OLD!!!! The Doctor looked amazed! He looked me up and down a few times and I could see the wonder in his brain ticking over. Maybe I shouldn't be too surprised, I was mistaken for someone in their twenties a few weeks ago. My family have the two advantages of looking young as well as being short, which means we are alwys being mistaken for younger than we are. [I might add, it was a curse when I was younger. Wasn't allowed into a pub till I was twenty one, and most bounces thought my ID was fake till I was about twenty four]. They discovered my mother was running a temperature, and waited to decide if they would operate. Then the nurse came to get her for the op. and found she wasn't preped or anything. They shoved her into a bathroom and made her shave herself, get into a hospital gown and stuff. They still weren't sure if they would operate. So I had to wait. Eventually a nurse told me I could go. [If they were not going to operate, I was going to have to take my mother home - that was why I had to wait]. Was completely tired exhausted etc by the time I got home. THEN, I started on installing the wooden floor for my mother. PICTURES LATER. (Yes, I took pictures) First, empty the lounge and dinging rooms of all furniture and stuff. A BIG JOB for one man. Second, sweep, vaccuum and generally clean the surface. Third, lay black plastic. Fourth, lay underlay Fifth, start laying floor boards and completely F*K some of them up in big ways. Sixth, at 5:30 PM, collapse in a hepa on the ground. Seven, at 6PM, have youngest brother arrive home. Have him agree we need to use other brothers saw and work bench. Eight, Go to Younger Brothers house with wood to be cut. Nine, brother not home, spend time talking to sister in-law about my mother's operation (yes, I had phoned through by this stage. Mother doing fine!) Ten, younger brother arrives home - decidce too late to saw wood, borrow the workbench and saw instead - load into car. Eleven, phone mother in hospital and have a good chat - note, need to take books in for mother tomorrow sometime., Twelve, arrive home - it's 9:30PM, have dinner. Thirteen, Very Very Very tired. Read a few blogs. 11:30PM Go to bed. NOTE: Thanks to all those who prayed for my mother etc. Much appreciated. Background note: For those who may not remember, or are not usual readers, my mother had soem pre-cancer cell and had to go back to hospital to have bits removed. Operation went well - all seems fine. She's a bit peeved that they haven't given her TV yet, and she can't find the person to sign the form to let her watch it. Time to brush teeth and get to beeeeeeeeeeeeed. So Friggin' Tired!!!!

NaNoWriMo Chapter Twenty Two

Akane arrived home from school to find Mai drunk. She had been drinking heavily since Naoki left. She was sitting on the kitchen floor as Akane walked in. It gave Akane a slight scare, but she was getting used to her mother's unusual behaviour. Mai being drunk was not that unusual. She normally hit the alcohol pretty heavy during any function or party that had free drinks. It was one of the problem Naoki had faced. The wife was always drunk at the office parties and always let things slip. Not always things Naoki believed, but things Mai picked up off other party guests. Somehow, Mai could always make it sound like it was Naoki's opinion. If someone was believed to be sleeping around, Mai would somehow let it slip out. If someone was said to be lazy, or stealing office supplies, out it came from Mai's mouth. Always at the detriment of Naoki. She was an embarrassment. Never able to stay sober, never able to keep her mouth shut when drunk. Always able to make herself the centre of attention. So when Akane arrived home, what she saw was not completely unusual. It was only unusual in the fact that Naoki was not arguing with her over something she said, or Naoki trying to keep her on her feet. Now, it was just Mai, sitting on the floor, scotch bottle in her left hand, empty vodka bottle to her right and a Jim Beam bottle, half empty on the counter. Akane tried to help Mai to her feet. 'Come one mum. Lets get you to your bedroom.' 'Thish ish your fault! You drove him away with your imper ... imper ... it's your fault!' 'Calm down mum. Help me get you up.' 'No! I don't need your helps! I can do it myshelf.' 'Mum, your drunk. Let me help.' 'Go away Yariman bitsssch! I do not need help!' 'Okay, stay sitting on the floor. Just scream when you vomit so I can bring a bucket!' 'Do not leave me here! Do not leave me! You come back right now!' 'I haven't left yet. What do you want?' 'I have not ffffinissshed wiff you yet, Yariman! Thish is all your fault.' 'Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before.' Akane walked out of the kitchen, taking her school books to her bedroom. She could here her mother screaming insults at her was she walked away. 'Thish ish all your doing! You are to blame!' Then came the sound of the bottle being smashed on the floor. 'Look what you made me doooo! You make me dooo that!' Then the next smash, the vodka bottle. Then, Akane heard the cupboard door open, and Mai started to take the plates out and stack them on the floor. 'You clean this up! You clean this up! You make me do this.' Then Mai started breaking the plates on the floor. One big smash sounded like she had thrown three at once. Akane was worried about returning to the kitchen. She started to get changed out of her school uniform and into some jeans and a T-shirt. The sounds of smashing plates continued, along with Mai's insults and blame. Akane realised she must have run out of plates, but the smashing continued. She must be doing the dishes and cups by now, Akane thought. More smashing, more hysterical screaming from Mai. Akane just sat and waited. Part of her wanted to cry, another part wanted to laugh out loud. Soon, they would have nothing to eat off, or drink from. Akane decided to wait. It was all she could do. She was planning on seeing Bob, but she would wait now. Wait till her mother ran out of things to break and then, Akane would clean up the mess and put Mai in bed. It was a waiting game. 'Akane? Akane? Help.' The smashing had stopped. Good, thought Akane, we must have something left. She went toward the kitchen, but didn't enter. She had a feeling that Mai might throw a plate at her. She was just waiting around the corner, as soon as Akane tried to enter the kitchen, Mai would throw it at her. She was probably just waiting for Akane's little head to peer around the corner. 'Akane? Akane? I am so sorry. Please, help me.' Akane decided a quick look might suffice. Just quickly peek around the corner, and then pull her head back before Mai could get a good shot at her. She looked. Mai was lying on the kitchen floor surrounded by her own blood. At sometime during the plate smashing, a chip of china had hit Mai in the head. Mai's hands were also covered in blood. Akane wasn't sure how Mai had managed it, but she'd hit an artery in her forehead. The bleeding looked worse than it was, but it looked very bad. Akane immediately entered the kitchen, picked up the telephone and called for an ambulance. She then grabbed a tea towel and held it to Mai's head. She made sure the china was not still embedded in her forehead before holding it tight. She waited. The ambulance shouldn't be too long, she hoped. Mai was drifting in and out of either drunkenness or consciousness. It was difficult for Akane to tell. 'You know, this is your fault,' Mai said to Akane. 'How do you figure that?' 'If you were a better daughter this would not have happened.' 'Mum, can you stop blaming me. It's always everyone else's fault but yours. Why don't you have a look at what you're doing to yourself? What you are doing to us!' tears weld up in Akane's eyes. How could she hold the mirror up to Mai that she needed? She felt their roles had been reversed. Somewhere in life, her mother had remained the little girl, and now Akane needed to be the mother. It wasn't right. This was so unfair, Akane thought. I am still too young to take on this responsibility, but I have to step up and take the mantle. I have to wear the role of mother till my own mother can become herself again. Or maybe this was the real her. Maybe she was always like this, and Akane just never saw it. She was so caught up in her own world that she never saw how much her own mother was suffering. Akane held the tea towel to mother's forehead and cradled her head in her arms. She still had the telephone in her hand. She dialed Bob's number. She now knew it of by heart. She waited. Bob answered. 'Bob, I can't come over. There's been an accident.' 'Who are you calling dear?' asked Mai. 'Hush, mum. Yeah, I have to go to the hospital with my mother. I'll talk to you when I come home.' Akane pressed the button to hang up. 'Who are you talking to?' 'Bob, Mum.' 'Who is this Bob?' 'He's my boy friend, Mum.' 'Eh, you grow up too soon.' 'Sure mum. Whatever you say.' Akane and Mai sat in silence waiting for the ambulance to arrive to take Mai to the hospital. Akane was very sad. She somehow felt that the happiness she had found with Bob was wrong. She felt guilty that her mother was in such pain, and she had found love. She knew though, that she could not give Bob away. She would not give away the one thing she had hoped for in her life, her soul mate.

Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars Part 2

Kenji was at a loss. He had a popular bar, but for all the wrong reasons. Most patrons came to pick up men, sing Gay anthems such as YMCA, It's raining men or I am woman, or just to see the two little rodents going for it with each other.

He decided there was not much he could do about the singing, it was after all a karaoke place. He did not want to lose his patrons, sure, they spent more time eyeing him and Deibetto off than the topless waitresses, but they were good customers, not violent and enjoyed themselves. They were after all paying off Kenji's considerable loan to start the bar. The hamster however! What had started them off? He had no idea.

He spoke to Deibetto about it, with Deibetto being a scientist and all, he would know the cause of this phenomena. Deibetto denied any knowledge of what had happened. They called in Deibetto's friend Niku Wilkinson, and English guy who they thought might know a little about hamsters. He suggested Kenji get a bigger macho hamster in order to pull the other two in line. Kenji decided it was a good idea, so he did!

After much searching through pet shops, Kenji found the perfect hamster, Arlo. He was a very large hamster who was also rather muscular. Rather than sitting around all day sniffing things out, Arlo was always hard at it working his muscles on the cute little treadmill in his cage. Perfect! This hamster was the macho male equivalent of John Wayne of the Hamster world, Kenji surmised. This hamster will slap those two homo-hamsters into line.

Little did Kenji know, but Arlo was naturally homosexual. He worked out on the treadmill often trying to hone it into perfect muscular shape to attract the other male hamsters. Arlo often would look at himself in the mirrors around the pet shop.

'Who's a pretty boy then?' one of the parrots would often ask.

'I am,' thought Arlo. 'Oh yeah, check out my abs man! I am the Adonis of the hamster world!'

It was this latent homo-hamster that Kenji stuck in the cage with James and George. By this stage, James and George were a little tuckered out, after many an elixir induced shag fest. Arlo's entry into the cage made rather scarier for them though. Arlo summed up the situation immediately, he was going to make George and James his bitches. Arlo was head honcho hamster! If Arlo imagined he was some sort of sex god before, he now imagined he was double, as he had to bitches to slap around.

At first, Kenji saw Arlo slapping George and James around the cage, and assumed he was putting some good masculinity back into the two. That night however, as the regular crowd and extraneous gay hamster fans wandered in, Kenji was in for a shock. Arlo slammed both George and James flat on their little backs and had his way with them. Poor George and James! They had been violated!!!!

Mari pointed out that maybe, just maybe if Kenji had bought a female hamster or two, maybe the homo-hamster problem would have gone away!

'Baka Kenji!' he cried slapping his forehead! 'Why didn't I think of that?'

'Because you're an idiot,' Mari told him, waving a finger at him, with her long right boob hanging off the end. It had accidentally got caught on the end of her finger. The left one was comfortably hitching a ride on her drinks tray between a long island ice tea and some ribena vodka thing some strange girl had ordered!

Deibetto had been around earlier and had added some elixir to the hamsters drinking water. After being violated by Arlo, James and George had to have something to drink. After all, it was dehydration being slapped around a cage by some monster hamster in a leather biker outfit. Arlo also had some water, this began to have an effect on him too.

The more the hamsters drank, the larger they got, the smarter they got, and the more their sexual appetites increased. Soon, Kenji had the largest, most sexually perverted gay hamsters in Tokyo, possibly the world if it hadn't of been for a similar bar in the Netherlands that had been operating for many more years. (You go past the Amsterdam Moulin Rouge and turn left and keep going a few streets down, turn right and it's down the block about ten doors down, give or take ... not that I was there ... or on stage either, it was someone else who looked like me! honest!).

After a while, a plan formed in George's head and he shared it with James. They needed to break out of the cage, find some female hamster and raise their own hamster army to seek revenge on Arlo. No one made George his personal bitch! James agreed, well, except of course he changed the bit about no one making George a personal bitch to include himself.

It was time to start two things, first the escape plan and second some weapons to defend themselves from Arlo.

NaNoWriMo - Chapter Twenty One

'Where is this?' Eddie asked. 'It's outside the Nacropolis. You must be careful,' replied the voice. Eddie found himself standing in what appeared to be a dry creek bed. On either side were steep slopes, but not too steep that he couldn't climb out of it. There were a lot of trees on either side of the creek bed. Not one of them had leaves, and the ground was very dark and bleak. A strange light shone white from above. Once again, it did not seem to have any source at all. Not a moon, nor a sun in the sky. Just light, as if indirect onto the face of where ever Eddie was standing. 'We must move. They may be coming for us.' 'The demons?' Eddie asked the voice. 'Yes.' 'Which way do I go? If I am outside the Nacropolis, where can I go which is safe?' 'There is a cave nearby, or we can go to the old temple.' 'What's the old temple? Are we safe there?' 'The old temple are the ruins on top of a nearby hill. The cave is closer.' 'Which is safer? Can we make it to the temple?' 'I don't know. We must move.' Eddie started to climb one of the steep embankments. He did not know why, but he instinctively knew the path needed to get to the cave and the temple. He was not sure he could make the temple on this trip. He would try for the cave. The cave was full of magical scrolls. He had no idea why he knew that. He just did. He had to make it to the scrolls. Maybe there was one there that would help him to bring Jim or another ally into this war against demons. He was not sure why, but he believed he could defeat the demons if someone else was with him. Someone to help fight them. The embankment was black and sticky. The dirt, just clung to his hands and fingers. He was slowly getting covered in the dirt as he climbed. 'Have I been here before?' he asked the voice. 'Yes, you have been to the temple before, and the cave. You have been all over the dream scape.' 'That explains why I know where I am going.' He knew that somewhere above him was the path. The path lead to the cave and temple in one direction and the Nacropolis in the other. Somehow, he knew at the end of the path, the very end lay the other city. The city where the souls of the unjudged were. They were the ones who had not faced judgement just yet. The demons ruled it and guarded it. A plan formed in his head. If he could sneak into the city of the unjudged, then maybe, just maybe he could save Slim's soul. 'I would not risk it Eddie.' 'What?' Eddie knew the voice knew his thoughts. Somehow, he found himself playing dumb anyway. 'Do not risk going to the City of Souls. You will not come out of it if you enter.' 'I might. If I can find a way in, then I can get out the same way.' 'No, Eddie. All who enter do not return. They enter and then they wait for judgement. You cannot enter.' 'Yes, but I haven't died yet. I can enter and come out, and I cannot be judged, because I haven't died.' 'You might die while in the city. You are just making the demons job easier.' 'I need to help Slim though. I need to get in there and get him out.' 'You cannot do it Eddie. If you enter you will not come out. The demons will see to that.' 'I survived the demons axe.' 'Of course you did. It does not mean you will come out of the City of Souls alive. They will trap you in there and you will await judgement.' 'But I'm not dead. I can't be judged yet.' 'Must we argue over this. You will do what you want anyway. In the meantime, you cannot go to the City of Souls tonight. We must make it to the cave. You have to get something.' 'It's a scroll I need isn't it. I need a scroll.' 'Maybe. Or maybe you need the talisman. The talisman is there too.' 'Maybe I can take what i need. If I have the talisman and the right scrolls, I can go into the City of Souls and save Slim.' 'Maybe. Or maybe you will just get caught and be judged.' Eddie was onto the path. In the distance he could hear the sound of dogs. He knew they were chasing him. They were the dogs of hell. They had chased him many times before. Many times down this very path. He ran. He ran as fast as he could, because he had been on this exact part of the path before and he knew the way. He remembered the exact same chase time, and time before. Like a dream through a forest in the night ... it was the start of a song, or a poem he had once read. Like a dream ... it was about being chased through a forest of trees. The tress had no leaves. It was cold. It was night. To the left of the path was a cliff, or a wall. Something long, white and he was unable to get over it. Like the song, he came upon that very part of the wall. It was a wall. Some of it was bleached or washed white. White all over. It ran next to the path, and on the other side was a form of safety. If he could get over the wall, he would be safe. Only because he knew the demons could not cross the wall. Maybe the wall was magic. Eddie was not sure. He just knew the demons never could cross the wall, and the wall had always been there as long as Eddie remembered. The wall was solid and unclimbable. At the end though, was where the wall crossed the path, and the path went into the cave. The cave was full of scrolls. Wisdom, intelligence, and more. it was all in the cave, and once in the cave, he knew the dogs could not see him. Though they had chased him into the cave before, they ran straight past him, as though they thought he had ran through the cave. For some reason, the dogs were blind to him in the cave. The inside of the cave was bright white. It glowed. The whole thing glowed, and everything was clear as daylight. He still was not at the cave though. The cave was a long way away. He had to make it along the path, and the path became very narrow and difficult to see. It was almost non-existent in some parts, but Eddie knew the way. Through the trees. So many dead trees. Through the trees, though it lightly snowed, just like in that song. The song mentioned the snow, but he could not remember the words. The only thing he remembered was the first line and the feeling of the song. Run, like a dream, through a forest in the night ... What was the next line? It all gave him clues. It all hinted at what he needed to do. He was lucky he could remember which way to go, otherwise he would need the song. The song spoke to him. Maybe the voice knew the song. Maybe he should ask the voice. He had to get to the cave, it was only a short distance ahead and the path was becoming more discernible on the ground now. Run, like a dream ...

Tokyo Gay Hamster Wars - Part 1

It was the spring of nineteen ninety nine when Kenji Harada decided to open his Tokyo Topless Bar and Karaoke sing-a-long booth centre. Not being the best translator of Eigo (English) he decided to call it the 'Happy Hamster Bar'. Of course, it came out as 'Hippy Hambur', and people began mistaking it for a hamburger joint. He consulted his almost learned friend Deibetto, who, having once lived in been born in Australia told him it was 'Happy Hamster Bar'.

Unfortunately, a bar existed just down th e street called the 'happy Hippo bar', and in order to avoid confusion and a law suit, Kenji looked up another word for 'Happy' in his crazy Eigo dictionary. 'Gay' was the word he found. So was born the 'Gay Hamster Bar'.

Kenji poured his life savings and a considerable loan into the 'Gay Hamster bar'. One of the many oeuvre inducing decorations was a rather large glass hamster cage, complete with two hamsters, George and James. Kenji, unfortunately did not realise that his bar's unusual name would start to attract the homodachi connection of the Tokyo clubbing world, and soon Kenji had the hippest gay night club in Tokyo.

To make matters worse, the topless waitresses were wasted on men who had no better intentions than to meet another man and go home with them. At first, the homodachi thought the topless waitresses were transvestites and transsexuals. imagine their surprise when one of them accidentally took one home. It was the crying game all over, but in a very different context!

After that incident, the homodachi decided that maybe, the reason Kenji was employing topless women, was in order to stop sexual harassment. The gay lobby certainly thought it was a fantastic idea for women's rights. After all, they were topless, so they obviously meant they were standing up for the sexual freedoms. At the same time, as no man in the bar would find them in the least way sexual, it meant they got to work in an harassment free zone. Unfortunately, it also meant less tips and some of the waitresses soon left to take jobs in other establishments. Fortunately, the harassment free zone soon attracted other waitresses who did not mind the lack of tips. Kenji did not go shot staffed. In fact, he was able to put on some older waitresses who were not able to get employment in other topless establishments.

Amongst the new recruits was one, Mari Yamamoto. She was approaching sixty and had always worked as a topless waitress on and off for the last forty years. Unfortunately for her, the last twenty of those consisted more of the off than the on. The Gay Hamster Bar was the perfect work environment for her. The homodachi appreciated her for her good solid work ethic, and her sarcastic biting wit, that developed over the years, another reason for not being employed often in the last few years.

George and James, the hamsters, were not your usual hamster. Deibetto often visited the bar, after all, is was owned by his friend Kenji. He was a bit perturbed to find that it had turned okama on him though. It did not sit well with his latent homophobia which, until finding out men actually found him attractive, he didn't even know existed.

Deibetto worked for a secret Government laboratory developing chemicals. Due to the Japanese pacifistic constitution of the day, Japan needed new and better weapons to defend itself with. After all, it was not allowed an army anywhere near the size of the one it had during WWII. Deibetto's secret work entailed an elixir designed to turn the most aggressive warrior into a love maniac. Or so the specifications from the Japanese Government said.

It was amongst this, that Deibetto had made the potion, but was unable to test it on any adequate test subjects due to a sudden cutting in Government funding. So he had his elixir, but no where to try it.

One day, he decided Kenji's two male hamsters might be the perfect place to try it. One day, prior to the bar opening, he went to visit Kenji. Whilst Kenji was occupied, Deibetto was pretending to pat the hamsters. During this time, he added his elixir to their water.

That night, to the amazement and entertainment of the regular crowd, George and James, over come with lust for .. .well, anything moving or inanimate, decided to get it on. The 'Gay Hamster Bar' had truly become the 'Gay Hamster Bar'. What wasn't known at the time, was it also gave George and James increased intelligence.

Bluh!

I know in my reply to Straymana's comment I said I wasn't blogging tonight, but ... I changed my mind. Mainly as I found there wasn't that much being said out there tonight, and I lost interested very fast. Warning, today's is just a rant to remove some unwanted frustration! Today, very frustrating day. My mother was in one of her moods. It basically came down to the fact that she wants her floorboards put in, and we haven't started. We haven't started for two reasons, first, we are doing it when she is in hospital, so that there will be minimal disturbance to the household etc. Second, my brother in law has the equipment we need, and we haven't been able to contact him yet. All day, my mother kept on complaining that we were procrastinating and should ahve had the carpet chucked out, the cement cleaned and prepared and the floorboards ready to be done ... which is impossible with her sitting in the lounge watching TV. So, she went on her usual attack of me. Something I've faced all my life. First she tells me I am lazy, tells me I never do anything, and accusses me of being a mysoginist. ALL because I didn't drop everything and get her floorboards in NOW. [Which, mind you, she admits I can't do till she is in hospital!] She then wanted us to stop what we are doing in order to entertain her. Scrabble? TV? Anything as long as it involves her!!! How am I supoosed to run a business if I have to put up with this? THEN, she can't deciced if she will be in need of help when she comes out of hospital. Well, we all knows she will, and she keeps mentioning it over and over and over (you get the hint) ... BUT, if I mention I am going to do something for her, she tells me I'm an idiot and says she will be perfectly able to look after herself when she returns home. Then ten minutes later, she is telling me I have to do everything for her once she is out of hospital! It's DRIVING ME NUTS!!! She also had attacks on my medical conditions! I'm really beginning to hate peopel for constantly doing that. Mainly, as they like to use the conditions as something to ridicule when they feel like it. Mainly in the form of them telling me I don't get affected by them or other things. The funny thing being that I feel like chucking everywhere today. It must have been something I ate I think. The weather is now turning hot, apparently if you beleive my mother, that's my fault too. Except when she's in her mood for taking credit that she predicted the weather ... like, yeah, it's almost summer and it's geting HOT! Great prediction mum! Then she really annoyed me. She told me I had to pay for the next electricity bill (as the hot weather is all my fault and I am hogging the air conditioning by sitting in front of my computer ... my study is at the front of the house, the airconditioning unit is at the back!) Anyway, I pointed out that I paid for the electricity anyway. I didn't even split the bill last time. It came to $180 and I gave her $200 ... she tried telling me I didn't pay for it, and she split the money to pay for other things. Like WHAT? When the gas bill came in, I gave money for that too ... where the FRIG is my money going to if it's not going towards the things I am paying for??? On top of that was the usual argumentative crap she likes to go on with. My younger brother didn't help with some of his rantings either. Two of his annoyingly frustration sayings are, 'If you define something everyone will work against it.' & some crap that he believes that higher order thinking in the form of creativity and fantasy had to exist in creatures before they developed the ability to sense anything in the world? What he means by this, is that lower order animals (like aomeba's etc had to dream about the world before they were able to realise that it actually existed ... like, you have to imagine a tree exists before you'll ever be able to see a friggin' tree in real life.) It's pretty much backwards thinking and it is very frustrating when he goes on about it. It reminds me of a kid I knew when I was eight. He used to believe that you saw things because rays came out of your eyes and could sense the objects. Of course, sight is very much the opposite, rays of light bounce off the objects and hit your retina and you see them. It's annoying and FRIGGIN' Frustrating when people have these backwards ideas, as you have to think of ways to disprove them so that they can see why they are wrong. I will be glad when this week is over. So much to do. Alianz was supposed to supply my business with insurance, and they didn't so I'm trying to get some ... and I need it before Thursday when I have a meeting, or else my business goes belly up and the Government will shut it down! My mother is off to hospital twice tomorrow. First in the morning, and then in the afternoon. The reason for this is she has to give blood before her operation as a precaution. (They prefer to use a patients own blood if blood is needed). Then, later she has a pre-admissions interview 9where they ask questions like, 'do you have a heart condition' etc. As such, I need to drive her to and from hospital twice. PLUS, a group want to book me in for some facilitating of computer training. I forgot to renew my library books, so I have to phone them. Wednesday my mother goes into hospital (and I start to put the floor boards down). Before then (on either Mon or Tues) I have to get the equipment off the brother in law. Also means movin all the furniture out of the lounge room, remove the carpet, wash the cement, make sure the cement is smooth ( as it has soem lumps in it), put down the plastic, then the underlay, then the boards. Move the furniture back into the lounge. If I forget to take photo's while I do it, forgive me. I'd love to have them for the blog and everything, but it might be easy to forget to do. On top of that I want to organise some air conditioning for my mother's room before she returns from hospital (so I have to buy it and organise to have it installed within that week). I have to get my PO Box, my business cards, my business paper with letter heads done. Blah Blah Blah - so much to remember. BUT, I am hoping with everyone out of the way for a week, I can actually get a lot done. If I find the time, I want to fix my old computer. My mother keeps hinting she wants the old one, or for me to buy her a new one ... not to mention all the other hints she keeps making for other things she wants. I've somehow turned into Santa Friggin' Claus!!! But WHAT REALLY ANNOYS ME, is everyone thinks that 'Running my own business' means I am just sitting around not doing anything while the money rolls in, so everyone keeps asking me to run this or that errand for them, and when i point out, I'M TRYING TO RUN A BUSINESS!! They say, 'yeah, but it's a home business, so you're just sitting around at home not doing anything!' [And I just remembered ten more things I need to write down on my list of things to friggin' do for other people! Darn it! When did my life stop being my own!!! Oh, that's right, when I was friggin' born!!!] I think i just really needed to write all that to get it out of my system! no one here seems to be able to listen, they won't take no for an answer and they think I am their friggin' slave!!! [And everyone encompasses a LOT of people]. And that's probably another reasons why I loved Sydney so much! Go to work, go home, write/paint/music to my hearts content - but I had awful noisey neighbours at times in Sydney, and the pollution was killing me. Still, I miss Sydney. It'd be nice to return if I could afford a house in a nice neighbourhood which didn't keep me awake often ... or all the time. On brighter notes, 'Lone Wolf and Cub' box set (all six movies) comes out on the 7th of December, Red Dwarf Series VII on the 1st of December and I am thinking about buying the Kurosawa boxed set which has Seven Samurai (my all time fav. movie), Yojimbo, Sanjuro and The Hidden Fortress. I can't find that bloody 'Naruto' Anime anywhere in Australia, and I wonder if it's been released yet. I might send an e-mail to find out! Anyway, it's going to be a long night, as my stomach is refluxing greatly and I can taste some blood. I took an extra tablet for it, so hopefully will calm down soon. Apologies for the rant. I really had to get it out my system. Thanx to anyone who actually read it! :-)

I Write Too Much??? Really???

Chapter Twenty is up, and I wrote it a few days ago. In fact, I didn't write at all yesterday, and I'm going to take a break today. To be perfectly honest, I think I need to spend some time writing something silly, because I keep getting all these stupid ideas in my head. I was considering writing another story simultaneously with the NaNoWriMo one. Mainly as I had this weird idea come into my head involving Toyko, Hamster wars, Mechanical Vampires and a heap of other things. [Actually, the mechanical vampires I've been playing around in my head for a long time. One is called Melisa, and the other one is called Megumi ... after two girls I know ... one who happens to be named Melisa, and the other one happens to be named Megumi, so there is a slight connection there which most of you will be able to pick up ... I think ... maybe ... if it's not to complex.] :-) One of my friends e-mailed me to say she isn't reading my blog at present! Darn, I let someone down! I hate that. Apparently, I am writing too much (so to compensate, I'm writing even more with this post Arrrggghh!) I figure, maybe writing the other story simultaneously might make her happy. That way she can ignore the NanoWriMo one and just read the silly one. Then again, maybe the damage has been done!!! Maybe she'll never return! WHY? WHY? WHY? ... Oh that's right, I write too much! Baka Dabido! To my surprise, I was able to get Patrician II to work on my computer last night! After a LOT of frigin' around, FINALLY I got the game working. I like it, though I haven't mastered it yet. It's a trading game based in the Scandanavian/Germanic Area in the 1300's AD. So far i lost one game when I wasn't able to out run the pirates and they boarded my ship, taking all crew and cargo. Waaahhh! Second game I was loosing really badly. I have perfected the art of hemeoraging cash! Regardless of what deal I get buying a commodity, it always seems to be at a greater price than what I can sell it for. I turn up at a town suffering famine only to find the meat and fish I bought was at double the price starving people are willing to pay. Add to that the cost of ships, crew, workshops etc, and you have a formula which gets rid of all that excess cash you have lying around that your simulated forefathers left you. Yes, I can ruin any dynasty before it even starts! From Jutland to the Russian Steppes, I can lose your hard earned cash! Anyway, though it seems to hard for me at present, it still looks like a lot of fun, and is complex enough to keep my attention. I look forward to wasting more hours playingthe game. Dabido Thumbs Up Rating for Patrician II (Provided you can get it to work ... I tihnk that's the clincher though, took SO FRIGGIN' LONG to get it to work!) My brother Jeff and I went to get the floor boards for my mother's place. I might see if I can take some photo's of this as I lay them down and stuff. My mother's house has NEVER EVER had proper flooring, and after 23 years, I have paid for some, and she is very happy to be getting it. Oh, and Tim Tam's were on special today. Even though I am allergic to chocolate, I bought two packets. So yummmmmyyy ... just wish I could eat them without chuckin' blood! Stoopid food intollerances! Speaking of food intollerances, my mother and borther had BACON the other day! Something I am so highly intollerant to, that I get nausious just from the friggin' smell!!!! How many of you get really badly motion sick out there? Put your hands up! How many of you have been on those rides at carnivals etc which spin you around and around and around ... and you feel like you're going to chuck up your lunch, all that junk food you ate etc etc? [Okay, might take a few rides to do it]. Well, that is EXACTLY the same sickness feeling I get when I smell bacon cooking. I was actually at the keyboard here dry reaching and burping a lot as I was so sick. I can also get motion sickness from playing computer games. Half Life - Doom - Quake etc ... all make me motion sick. I recently bought Jedi Knight II ... couldnt' get too far through it, as I got motion sick and needed to give up. Bluch! I wish someone would spend some money on research and FRIGGIN' FIX MOTIO SICKNESS PROBLEMS. [Yes, I get car sick easily being a passenger in the back of a car!] I've even made myself motion sick while walking. I found if I just looked at a tree in my garden as I approached it, I'd get a funny sensation and eventually motion sick. It's difficult to explain, as I have perfect vision and don't need glasses or anything, but as I walk towards the tree in the garden, it's like ... well it's weird. I starts to make me feel sick. Or maybe it's Perth. Nothing against Perth people - you're the worst drivers in Australia without a doubt - but I really can't stand it here. I really wish I was back in Sydney ... or anywhere else on the planet ... well, not anywhere, I'd hate to be in a lot of places right now ... anywhere with a war springs to mind as somewhere worth avoiding! I realised earlier today, I have not managed to spend as much as half of my life anywhere! Sydney comes close with 20 years (on and off) of my forty years of existence. In fact, when I moved to Perth, I had spent half my life there ... but now, I haven't as I spent quite a bit of my life in Sydney visiting other places - Europe, Hawaii, Gold Coast, Cairns etc. I miss travelling. Anyway, have to rip the mangy carpet up and clean the floors ready to put the houses first REAL flooring down in this house. The first piece of cement will actually get a covering for the first time in 23 years! (The mangy second hand carpet we have is just thrown on the floor. It's not down permantently like normal carpet would be ... it's like giant throw rugs!)

Chapter Twenty

Naoki could not believe his luck. Just when he thought he was about to have his world come crashing down everything landed in his lap. He had finally got rid of that selfish shrew of a wife, and he was now in a position where he had both his mistresses under the one roof. Admittedly, Moe had not found out about him and Kaede yet. If he could help it, she never would. Just when he thought he needed to buy Akane a car to keep her mouth shut, he was free. It did not matter if Mai found out that he had not returned that night, it was now all out in the open. Naoki was now with his boss and mistress Moe. He could divorce Mai and even let her have the house and he was still in a secure position. He had never been happier in his entire life. It was like his bad karma had evened out. In a way, his life had become simpler too. He no longer had to juggle three women, he only had the two. Since moving in, Kaede had also kept her distance, so in reality, he was back to having only one woman. Admittedly, that woman was his boss, but it was so much simpler. What made it even better, was he was less stressed. His work improved and several terrible weights had been removed from his already over burdened shoulders. Another thing that made him happy, was that he did not need to pay any maintenance for Akane's upkeep. Akane was already over sixteen, and as such no longer considered Naoki's responsibility by the courts. As Mai had been the main bread winner in the household he did not have to pay her anything either. In fact, his lawyers hinted that she might even needed to pay him. It was like he had won the lottery. He had swapped two shrews for two princesses. What a deal! Nothing would land in his lap as good as that in a million years, he thought. I am the luckiest guy on earth. Moe was also very happy. She had won the man she had wanted. Since Tatsuya, she had avoided any form of intimacy with people other than with Kaede. Kaede had been her life. Well, Kaede and getting revenge on Tatsuya. Once Tatsuya was out of the way, there was only Kaede. Moe was able to start a new life. With her new life, came a new love. She had started work at the pharmaceutical company, and liked Naoki from the first. At the time they met, he was either engaged or married. She could not remember. It didn't matter that much. Their love affair really only began about a year ago. It began at one of the management weekend retreats. It was strange in a way. Neither of them were looking for love. Both being Japanese, they were a little more reserved than some of the crazy foreign gaijins they worked with. Though married, a lot of the bosses were playing up with each other. It was a casual sort of thing. Moe was certain that some of the people who coupled off actually hated each other in normal working life. The company had rented a resort for the weekend. There was a gym, a swimming pool, a golf course, some tennis courts. Everything for the adrenaline pumping executive needed to release some over energetic exuberance on. Somehow, not much got used. Even during the team building exercises and seminars, people just failed to turn up. Moe was concerned and seriously thought about throwing some of her weight around. 'I'll put the fear of God into this lot,' she told Naoki at the bar on the first night. Naoki had diplomatically avoided the subject. Sometime that night, between a long island ice tea and some green thing with an umbrella sticking out the top, he had kissed her. At first she was shocked. She wasn't sure if it was because she was drunk, or simply because she had always found him so attractive, but she did not dislike it. In fact, the kiss had aroused feelings in her she had long forgotten. The kiss had been nice. Not too hard, not too soft. Not timid at all, yet not forcing his way onto her. It was perfect. It was exactly what she had needed at exactly the right time. It placed her in a peculiar position though. The next day, she was not able to 'get up the troops' as she had been planning. After all, she was as guilty as they were. Admittedly, she had not slept with Naoki at that stage. She had, however kissed him back. Naoki had become something of a hero amongst his peers. Some of them had overheard what Moe had said to him at the bar. They all suspected that Naoki had kissed her deliberately, that somehow he had devised a plan to save everyones bacon. The truth of the matter was Moe was everything Mai was not. Moe was quite, reserved, yet at the same time had a definite sense of knowing who she was and what she wanted to be. She was soft, and yet at the same time as strong and she needed to be. As they had stood their talking at the bar together, Naoki had simply fallen in love. He had kept buying Moe drinks. It was unusual for Moe to let her guard down. She had not been drunk since her teenage days with Tatsuya. Possibly it was Naoki's charm. Maybe she had subconsciously always wanted him. She had suppressed it deep down inside, and now, this very night, she had allowed it to surface. Or maybe it had fought its way to the surface against her conscious will. She had fallen for a married man. By the second night of the weekend retreat, she was well aware that the others knew what had happened. She was determined not to let it happen again. During the day she deliberately avoided Naoki. If she knew he was on one side of the room, she sat on the opposite. If she was presenting during one of the seminars, she always avoided eye contact with him. She was going to be strong, and she was going to set a good example which she expected others to follow. That night however, once again most of the managers had somehow coupled off. She wasn't sure how they managed to do that, because there were in fact more male managers than female ones. She decided it was none of her business. Somehow though, it was the same as the night before. She was at the bar, and the only available person to talk to, was Naoki. A part of her knew she should have gone to her room alone. Another part of her craved for the attention she had denied herself for all those years. No one had been allowed into the inner sanctum of her soul. No man, no woman. No one! She never came across as cold though. She knew that was social suicide. She played the game, she worked the crowds. She laughed at her superiors stupid jokes, she flirted, but she always remained in control and inaccessible. She had perfected the art of being whatever was needed by her audience at the time, without becoming the object they possessed. She could bend like bamboo without breaking, yet be more rigid than the steal of a katana sword. So it was, that as she sat at the bar, with some of the other couples mumbling amongst themselves in booths or at tables, that Naoki sat next to her with his drink. She immediately got up, and gave him a stare. At the time, he couldn't work out if it was more ice or venom. The look did not go unnoticed amongst his co-workers. What they had missed though, was Moe pressing her room key into his hand. The plastic card that opened her room, was with him. She was unable to get into her room unless he followed her. In one move she was off her chair and walking out the bar room door. The swish of her sleeve had upset his drink and it spilt across the bar top. Anyone in the room who had not seen the stare had heard the glass. All eyes were firmly on Naoki, and Moe did not miss a beat. Though the glass had been an accident, she did not stop, did not break stride and did not turn around. She was out the door. Naoki sat there, his face bright red. He knew what it looked like. To everyone, it seemed like he had tried to hit on his boss, and she had rejected him. It was a while before his face returned to a normal colour and the room returned to its normal banter. Only then did he realise that she had given him her key. It hit him. 'I have her key!' he thought. 'I have HER KEY!' He cautiously looked around the room. No one was looking. Even if they were, he was sure they thought he was going away to hide. It had been a great loss of face. He kept looking left and right as he walked along. As he turned the corner into her corridor, he saw her standing in front of her room. She looked fantastic and a broad grin crossed her face. He walked up to her, and looking left and right to make sure no one had seen, he used the plastic key to open the door to her room. Then, they were inside her room. Naoki had heard rumours about her dragon tattoo. He was the first one in his company to actually see the entire thing in full. Other had seen glimpses of it whenever she wore a top or dress which hung too low at the back. This was the complete picture. It was an ancient water dragon. An eastern one. A green one. A lucky green dragon. It swirled through the clouds and rain. Through the red and blue mists across her back. The artwork was amazingly complex and detailed. Every scale, every wisp of cloud captured by the artist. He was intrigued. How did such a nice girl get such a complex tattoo? She was an enigma. That just made her more beautiful than ever to him. He knew he could not resist her every will. He was ensnared by the dragon.

Chapter Nineteen

America Nixon stood out the front of her house. On the day of the accident, Bob had narrowly missed her letterbox. It was the over compensation in his steering from that miss which caused him to crash into the Lee's flowerbed. America could feel something was wrong. She was like that. She knew she was psychic. She could see and feel things that others just could not see. A lot of the neighbours thought she was a little strange, but she often had her finger on the pulse whenever someone was down or something unusual happened. The day of the accident, she had felt something bad was going to occur. The first time Lillian Lee had met America, she had said to Lillian, 'Bones! I see bones in your life. A lot of old things. It will happen very soon.' Lillian wasn't sure what to make of it. Lillian was a Conference Centre organiser at the time, and suspected America might have been smoking her tea leaves instead of reading them. One month later, at an exhibition at the Conference Centre, Lillian was offered a job working in the Archeology department of the City Museum. The City Museum had put the exhibition on in order to highlight its new Egyptian wing. They were so impressed by how professional the exhibition had been organised that they offered Lillian a job. From there, Lillian had not looked back. Lillian had started in the department just organising more exhibits and using her obvious artistic flair. As she progressed, the professors noticed she had a flair for the actual subject of archeology as well. They paid for her to do an Archeology degree through the local University part time, and she graduated with high honors. From the day she got that job however, she was a firm believer in America Nixon's psychic powers. Mark Fisher was watering his lawn and saw America standing outside her house. He waved to her and smiled. America glared at him. He knew that she did not like him for some reason. He could never tell why though. He always tried to extend the friendly hand. Always tried to be liked in the neighbourhood. For some reason that America Nixon just did not like him no matter how many times her tried. Previously, Mark had been good friends with Kevin Lee. Since America's arrival and subsequent friendship with Lillian, Mark and Kevin weren't allowed to be friends. Lillian believed in America's psychic powers, America didn't like Mark, therefore Lillian's husband Kevin was not allowed to like Mark. Kevin and Lilian would be civil to him, but America was down right hostile. It was a Saturday, and since the accident, the skateboarders were beginning to pick up again. Bob and Akane were sitting up the top of the street. Bob would sit on his board, but he had never skated down Dead Man's Hill since. The board was no more than a mode of transport now. Jim and Eddie did not touch their boards at all any more. Not even to get from point A to point B. Eddie was accompanying Jim on his pilgrimage to Mark Fishers house. Jim was taking a bag with a plastic container full of scones his mother had baked for Mark. In return, Mark would place some citrus fruits in Jim's bag. Mark grew various sorts in his backyard. Oranges, mandarins, lemons, grapefruits, plus some other varieties of fruit Jim had never seen before. 'You watch out for that man,' said America as they walked past. 'Watch out for him. I can tell you, he is evil!' Jim and Eddie normally walked on the opposite side of the road if they saw Old Lady Nixon out and about. She had always scared them. Somewhere in Eddies mind though, he got the idea that maybe, just maybe she had some answers for him. She knew something about the spirit world. The rumour had it that she could see dead people. maybe she could still see Slim. Maybe she could help him to contact Slim's spirit. 'You keep walking, dude. I'm going to see Old Lady Nixon,' Eddie said. 'Why?' Jim was puzzled. They didn't even like her. Why the sudden interest in a weird old lady? 'I want to find out what she knows about Slim,' he replied. 'I want to come too.' 'You have to see old man Fisher.' 'I can visit old Lady Nixon too if I want. I don't have to visit Old Man Fisher first, dude.' 'You do man. You owe him.' 'You owe him too, dude! He was the one who phoned the ambulance!' 'I'll catch up. I'll be down there in no time.' 'I see bad things for you young man,' America said, pointing a crooked finger at Jim. At that distance Eddie thought it was him. 'Me?' 'No, not you! Him! Your friend!' 'Oh, hear that Jim. Bad things for you, dude.' 'She says that every time I go to visit Old man Fisher. She hates him,' replied Jim. 'Really?' asked Eddie. 'Dude, I've been visiting Fisher for weeks now, and everyday she stands there and says that.' Eddie looked both ways and started crossing the road. Jim hesitated. He wanted to go with Eddie and hear what was discussed. He figured Eddie might shut up if he did. He stood there for a moment, then continued his walk down the hill to Mark Fishers place. 'Bad things for you young man,' America called after him. 'Bad things I tell you.' 'Yeah sure, you stupid bitch,' Jim mumbled to himself. 'Stop calling me bad names too,' she yelled. Jim stopped dead. 'I bet if I said anything you would think I was saying bad things about you,' he said. 'I heard that young man,' she called out. 'Just as I thought,' Jim said to himself. 'You're about as psychic as a hippos arse!' 'It will come back at you as bad karma little boy. Bad karma!'

How the Novel Software Has Been Used

As my regular readers know, I've been testing out the Novel writing software I bought. Rather than add another chapter tonight, which may be a little too intense for some (with such a lot of reading etc), I thought I'd just show some of the things I used from the Novel writing software and you can see where the idea came from and relate it to how I used it in the story. Title - I used the software to chose the title: Edmond McCarty's Accident Ideas - I used the software to create ideas. Some of these were based on ideas the software linked to characters pasts, and others were just straight out ideas it can generate (and it just randomly chooses a character to chuck it with I think). Character Past Ones: Mai -

• As a teenager she became a mother to a girl called Akane.
• As an adult she is working as an Air Traffic Controller. She is now serving a jail sentence for handling stolen property.
• In 2000 she married Naoki Yamazaki.
• Most people would describe her as very extroverted.

As you can tell, I used the jail sentence briefly, but fortunately for her, I got her out of it! :-) Moe -

• In her late teens she gave birth to a girl called Kaede.
• She started a friendship with Letitia Cano.
• As an adult she has a job as a Business Manager.
• Her favourite film is 'The Philadelphia Story'.
• Most people would describe her as very introverted.

I haven't used the Letita Cano bit, nor the Philadelphia Story bit ... well, not yet! :-) I won't talk too much about some of the other character traits, as some of them haven't been revealed. :-) Random Generated Ideas list:

• Edmond Gets Hit by a Flying Llama
• Mai buys an exotic stick-insect for a month's salary.
• The new doctor [CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED].
• When does Moe find the answer? Connect this to someone whom Moe admires.
• Moe meets a very convincing liar. Describe how this character gets Moe's money. Write about this as a series of flashbacks.

The flying llama bit I added to begin with when I was originally going to do it as a quirky dark comedy thing, but then changed my mind to do a more serious work. The stick insect thing got used ... and was linked in with the jail sentence, the daughter named Akane and the extroversion stuff. TOUCHDOWN! The new Doctor ... well, we'll find out what that CENSORED thing means very shortly. :-) Don't worry, its nothing rude (though I suspect if it was, we'd have an increase in traffic!) :-) I hope I didn't give it away ... but I've already dropped hints as to what it is in the story. Can you guess what it is? (Yes, guessing contest time ... you win nothing though ... just bragging rights!) Well, Moe has found her answer, and it was a good thing for Naoki, otherwise he would have been buying Akane a car ... and I was in two minds as to whether I was going to have Naoki and Moe get together before or after the car thing ... and then decided to let Naoki off the hook and have him and Moe get together with out Akane getting a car ... the lucky guy!!! :-) Moe's money ... well, I did it as one HUGE flash back, rather than a series, but I thought it would work better that way. I just hope I haven't made Japanese men look too bad. Tatsuya is practically pure evil ... but he had to be to get Moe's money. Naoki, well he is a little insipid, but he's a nice guy. Let's see where life takes us. Moe's Grandfather, well, I liked him a lot and now I've killed him off. Darn! lol We can always bring him back! hee hee hee hee! (Oh darn, is that another hint?) I'm rubbing my eyes in disbelief!!! Most of the rest has just come straight out of my little perverted mind! Hee Hee! P.S. this is just a raw first draft. There are gramatical errors etc in the chapters. Most novels consist of 10% writing and 90% rewriting, so you are sort of seeing the first 10% of the work being done. I may change and rearrange it all as well later on if I think it is good enough for publication. Even if I do chose to publish this, the original will remain on my blog (so you can read and reread it ... and complain about how the movie was no where near as good!) :-)

Chapter Eighteen

Akane had turned into the typical good student. Her grades had improved and she was no longer the hell raiser she had been in class. Her teachers were impressed and most of them had forgotten their original suspicions regarding her change in behaviour. Her influence had rubbed off on Bob, who had improvements in his grades as well. There relationship had got to the point where she was no longer secretly visiting him at night. She would enter the house via the front door. Her good influence had not gone unnoticed by Bob's parents either. They had heard Bob talking to some girl in his bedroom at night, and his mother had started to listen in with a glass to her bedroom wall. As the pair were not getting up to anything untoward, she allowed it to continue, pretending not to notice Akane's late night arrivals and leavings. The sound of her climbing out of Bob's window some nights could not be missed. Bob's mood improved and he eventually returned to school. One night, Bob's mother decided it was better that everything was out in the open. When she heard Bob and Akane finish their heart to heart one night, she quickly and as quietly as possible went to the front of the house. As Akane came around the corner, Bob's mother gave her the fright of her life. 'Oh my Go...' Akane didn't finish the sentence. 'What is it?' whispered Bob from around the corner. 'It's your mother!' replied Akane. 'Where?' 'Here,' replied Akane. 'Dear,' Bob's mother started. 'From now on, just come and go through the front door. You don't need to sneak in through the window.' 'Um ... Okay,' said Akane. Then she started to laugh. Bob's mother also started to laugh and Bob couldn't help himself, he had to laugh too. 'You gave me such a start!' said Akane. 'Sorry, dear. I just couldn't go on knowing you were climbing in and out of Bob's window all the time. What would the neighbours think?' This made them laugh all the more. They all said their goodbyes and laughed some more, and Akane went home. From that night forward, Akane just used the front door, regardless of the time of night. If it were late, she'd just tap on Bob's window and Bob would let her in through the front door. For Akane, Bob's house became a refuge from her mother. Her mother had also changed. Where as before, she had been an attention seeker, she had now become obsessed with details. Every flaw she could find with Akane was brought up and pounced upon. It became obsessive to the point that even things that were not flaws were attacked. Mai was not trying to, but she was driving a greater wedge between herself and her daughter. Somehow, Akane's new good grades were not good enough either. If she scored ninety five percent on a test, Mai would want to know why she had not managed one hundred percent. Nothing Akane did was ever good enough any more. Mai would wander through the house trying to find something out of place, as though making the house perfect would somehow cause Naoki to return. Her work suffered and she was given time off by the doctor. Whenever she found something wrong in the house, it was somehow always Akane's fault. The curtains left slightly ajar. The carpet tassels moved out of alignment. Some dust the vacuum cleaner had somehow missed. It was all Akane's fault! Akane's imperfections were driving her crazy, and she honestly believed if she and her daughter had been more perfect, then Naoki would never have left. Mai also resented the fact that Akane would also go out at night. She had grounded Akane for the shop lifting incident, and Akane had taken it all in stride. She had not complained once concerning her punishment. She had even done everything that she was told to do, but it just was not good enough. When she did the washing up, Mai could always find some food Akane had managed to miss on the plates. A small piece of green here, a little speck of something else there. It just wasn't perfect enough. These were the little things that had driven Naoki away. These were the things she had to fix so that he would come back. Mai grounded Akane for life. Not that Akane cared. She just ignored her mother. She had got to the point that she thought her mother was mentally unstable. Mai started an argument with her. The carpet tassels were not perfectly straight again. Akane must have dragged her feet walking across them. Akane suggested it might have been the cat. Mai exploded! Everything was wrong with this daughter of hers! She yelled at her, she screamed at her, and for some reason Akane could just not get it right. Akane, just stood there, listened and when Mai ran out of words, Akane simply left the house and went over to see Bob. Mai was more furious than even before. She went searching the house for anything to blame Akane for. Eventually, she went to Akane's room, and in a fit of rage, upturned all the furniture she could. If her daughter wanted to act like a pig, she could live like one. Akane returned after midnight. Mai was already asleep. Akane switched on her bedroom light to discover the mess. She just shook her head in disgust. Her mother was really loosing it. She felt so sorry for her mother, but what was there to do. Akane cleared the debris from her bed and tidied the room as best she could. She went to sleep.

Feedback!

Everyone still with me? :-) Tell me how you think the novel is going! [I hope it isn't going too fast. I'm up to 22,000 words so far. Almost half way through the required word count.]

Chapter Seventeen

'Eddie! Eddie!' Eddie could hear his name being called out. It seemed so distant. Who was it calling him? 'Eddie! Eddie!' It was Jim. Eddie started to come around. 'Eddie, you've fallen asleep again!' Eddie was lying flat in the playground. He started to vaguely remember. He was playing basketball with the rest of the guys. It was lunch. He just ran out of energy. Down he went. This was happening a lot. Jim and some others helped him to his feet and walked him over to some seats. They sat him down. 'You Okay Eddie?' Jim asked. 'Yeah,' replied Eddie. 'I'm fine.' 'Hey, look over there. It's Stephanie.' 'Who's Stephanie?' 'You know! Stephanie. The girl I like. I've told you like a million times. Don't you remember?' 'No. When was that?' 'Everyday, dude,' Jim shot a wondering look at Eddie. He had told Eddie almost everyday about his crush on Stephanie. She was in a different class to Eddie and Jim, but in the same grade. Eddie was having some major memory problems. Jim and the other guys would often talk about things which happened in the past, and Eddie had no recollection of them. It obviously had something to do with the accident, Jim figured. 'Which one is she?' Eddie enquired. 'The tall one. The one with the long light brown hair,' Jim paused. 'The one in the blue dress!' 'Oh, yeah! I see her now.' 'Don't you think she's pretty?' 'I don't know.' 'You don't know. Are those demons messing with your brain again?' 'No, not today. I haven't seen them today.' Eddie had told Jim about the demons. Eddie was convinced the accident had allowed him to see into peoples souls. He had seen Slim carried off by the demons and the demons would come to visit him often. Normally when he awoke or when he was going to bed. Jim had been unconvinced about the demons. That was until Eddie told him about his Tag watch. The demons had taken his watch. It had been placed next to him on the bedside table. Nurse Jane had always made it so that he could see the time. Then, the demons came to him one night. When he awoke the next morning, the Tag was gone. He had not seen them take it, but he knew they had. How else could he explain it? At first, Jim had suggested that he had just misplaced it. Misplacing things was extremely difficult when you were lying in a hospital bed in plaster. Then there was the issue of Slim. Everyone had known that Slim and Bob were gay lovers. Eddie was convinced that was why God had let the demons carry Slim's soul away. Jim was pretty convinced it was true too. After all, Slim and Bob used to hang out together. There was two years difference. Why would a guy hang out with another guy when there was two years difference? They had to be gay! Eddie had other problems too. He had arrived home from the hospital, and on his dresser there had been a packet of amphetamines. Eddie had no recollection of how they had got there. Half of them had been used. He had no idea how his mother had missed them. Surely his parents would have given him a stern talking to if they thought he was doing drugs. He wasn't even sure they were his own. He just remembered seeing them there, and he quickly hid them in his bottom draw in the hope that they would not be found. In the meantime, he didn't take any in case they were someone else's. Maybe they were Slim's? He wasn't sure. It came as a bit of a shock to him when a new packet of them turned up on top of his dresser. He quickly hid them too. Who had put them there? What would have happened if his mother had seen them? She obviously had not seen them, or else she might have asked about them. Eddie was not even sure how he knew they were amphetamines. They did not actually say amphetamines on the packet. They had the brand name. Though he knew somewhere deep inside him that he had seen them before and that they indeed amphetamines. He had much bigger problems anyway. The demons would constantly attack him in his sleep, and he was sure that was why he was always falling asleep. At night they would come for him. Some nights he just felt their presence. An evil that he could feel all around him. Other nights, they actually attacked him. In his dreams he would go to the Nacropolis and hide, or they would come looking for him. He desperately needed an ally in the war against the demons. He needed someone to help. Someone who could see them too. He had spent a lot of time talking to Jim about it. Maybe he could convince Bob and Akane to help him get Slim's soul to help. Maybe he was just in some sort of purgatory or something. Somewhere that they could pray him out of. If he could get them to help him. Have them pray for Slim's soul and then he and Slim could do battle against the demons side by side. He needed someone to help, so that he would not keep falling asleep in the day time. There had to be some way to get a friend into the same realm as him. Someway to make it happen. He was tired. He decided to sleep some more.

Chapter Sixteen

Moe had never told Kaede about her real father. There was not much to tell. Moe was sixteen. He was a little older than she was, and was a local hood. A lesser member of one of the minor Yakuza factions. She had started dating him even though her parents objected profusely. One thing Moe always knew about herself. She was her own woman. No one was ever going to tell her what to do. She was going to make it in this world regardless of what anyone or anything that stood in her way. His name was Tastuya, though he was known as Tatsu, 'the dragon'. He had several dragon tattoos on his body and made Moe get one as well. It was a large one, and it took up all of her back. It meant that she was seldom to be seen with a low backed dress when business was concerned. Her father was an important business man. He almost disowned her when he found out about the tattoo. She was fortunate, as her mother stepped in. Being an only child, Moe was often able to get away with a lot of things most children would not get away with. She was the apple of her father's eye, and no matter how upset he got, he somehow always found it in his heart to forgive her. Rumour had it, that her father was worth many millions. Moe ran wild. She had caught the eye of Tatsuya at school. By the time they were going steady, he owned a motorcycle and dressed well. After he had left school, he had lost a finger in a Yakuza ritual, and had gained a scar across his face, supposedly due to a knife fight. To Tatsu, it was all part of business. If you want an omelette, you will break eggs. Breaking things was business to Tatsuya. If they told him to beat someone up, he would. If they told him to burn down a house, he would. They told him to start dating Moe. She was young and pretty, and it seemed a good match. He treated her well, with gifts and very gentle. There was one problem with the relationship though. She was a possession. If he told her to meet him at a place and time, she was expected to be there. No ifs, not buts. Be there! Being spoilt like she had been, she never considered herself a possession of any one. Not Tastuya, not her father, no one. Still, when Tatsuya asked her to get the dragon tattoo, she did. When he told her to meet him somewhere, she turned up. She knew that when you run with the Yakuza, you never cross them. At seventeen she gave birth to Kaede. The neighbours were aghast, but they dare not say it to her face. They were too scared of Tatsuya and his Yakuza friends. Then came the night of Tatsuya's call. Moe was feeding Kaede, when the telephone rang. It was Tatsuya. He told her to get out of her parents house. No reason, no explanation. Just get out! Moe dressed Kaede in some warm clothes and wrapped her in a blanket. 'Where are you going?' demanded Moe's father. 'Eh! Tatsuya has told me to wait for him out the front.' 'He is scum. I don't like you seeing that man. He hasn't even married you! Look at yourself!' 'I must go.' Moe just turned and left, stopping at the door to put on a pair of wooden sandals. She went out the front and waited by the road. She wondered what the problem was. Tatsuya had seemed agitated. What could it be? A black limousine drove down the road towards her. Then, two more pulled around the corner. The first one stopped and Tatsuya got out. He told her to get in. So she did, cradling Kaede to her. As the limousine pulled out from the curb, Moe looked over her shoulder. The other two limousines stopped where they had just been parked. A group of Yakuza youths got out of the cars and started to set fire to her fathers house. She wasn't sure what was happening, but she heard two shots fired and jumped. She became extremely worried about what was happening. Even though she had never been the best child to her parents, she still loved them dearly. A Yakuza dressed in a suit to one side of her with a brief case on her lap handed her a pen. 'Eh?' 'Sign this form,' he said to her. 'What is it? What am I signing?' 'Everything you own, now belongs to me,' said Tatsuya. 'What? What do I own?' It dawned on her. Her father was a wealthy business man worth millions, and Tatsuya had handed him over to be assassinated by his Yakuza buddies. As the only heir, Tatsuya was now forcing her to sign over everything she was due to inherit. A part of her wanted to resist and make him put a bullet in her head as well. At least he would get nothing. It was Kaede though. She could not bring herself to have her daughter killed. She had no doubt Tatsuya would do it too. He would do it to prove his loyalty to the Yakuza clan. She decided not to cry. There would be time for mourning later. Now, however, she must bite her tongue, control her will, and do what needed to be done. She signed the papers. She was surprised to see that they were completely in order. What she signed claimed that she owed Tatsuya the equivalent of what she was about to inherit. The Yakuza accountants had been very thorough. Every yen in her parents bank accounts were accounted for, everything the insurance would pay on the house, which was now burning to the ground. Ever investment her father owned. Everything. It was all accounted for, and she was signing it over to her parents killer. The car pulled over to the curb. Tatsuya helped her and Kaede get out of the car. He bowed to her and said, 'We are now over. You can not see me again.' Moe just bowed slightly, and stood there. She did not want to answer him. As she stood facing him, her plan formed in her mind, and she knew what she was going to do next. Tatsuya got back in the car, and it drove off. Moe was now completely broke. Everything she owned, everything she stood to inherit was now the possession of that man. She only had the clothes Kaede and she were now dressed in. It was not even worth going to the police over. That would just make her and Kaede another Yakuza target. She went to a nearby house and asked to borrow the telephone. The people were very obliging and allowed her to make a call. She telephoned her paternal Grandfather and asked him to pick her up. She told him where she would be waiting. As her Grandfather drove her back to his house, she explained the everything that had happened that night. She told him what she thought had happened to her parents and all about Tatsuya. Her grandfather was deeply saddened by the tale. 'What do you plan to do now?' he asked her, the tears evident in his old eyes. 'I wish to borrow some money from you. I am going to go to America.' 'America? And do what?' 'I need to be out of reach of Tatsuya and the Yakuza. I will repay every yen I borrow Grandfather.' 'Are you crazy? You have a child. Stay and live with me. Who will look after your daughter?' 'I will do it all.' 'You're crazy I tell you. I will come to America with you.' 'You can't. You don't know how to speak English.' 'I don't have to. You can do that for me. Besides, how do you know they won't come looking for me? I have money too you know, and then they'll just make you sign over what you would inherit from me. You and I are the only members of the family left. If they had all your fathers investments down to the last yen, don't you think they'd have looked into mine?' So it was decided then and there that all three of them would go to America. Moe's Grandfather did not even bother to return home, drove to another friends house and they stayed there for a few weeks. He had an old friend whose son worked in real estate sell his home and possessions. He also had an old friend get them passports and visas to the United States. As soon as the passports arrived in the mail, they got into his car and drove to Narita airport and took the first available flight. They did not nook in advance for fear that Tatsuya might find out through some of his Yakuza connections. Moe's Grandfather only lived for another four years. It was long enough to see Moe complete a business degree, and Kaede's fourth birthday. Unfortunately, he had contracted an aggressive form of lung cancer, due to his habit of chain smoking. In her time in the United States, Moe worked on one thing and one thing only. Business. She studied hard. She passed her business degree with first class honors. She then worked hard and did her masters and doctorate part time. She had no social life. She only did two things. She worked and she looked after her daughter Kaede. Moe was lucky. Some of her father's business smarts rubbed off on her, and she became a master deal maker. By the time she was thirty, she had become a multi-millionaires. She had learned something from Tatsuya that he would regret. She learned, that to get to the top, you did whatever you had to. When others balked at something, you waded in and you did it. Ruthless, unemotional and uncompromising. Then came the day she had longed for ever since the death of her father. Her investigator informed her that he had located a suitable assassin. She flew immediately to Tokyo and they met. His eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw the amount of money Moe had passed across the table to him. He had taken the briefcase from her and opened it. 'This is more than I asked for.' 'Yes, it is. Do you have a problem with that?' 'Not at all. What makes you so sure I won't kill you here and now and take your money?' 'The dragon on my back says you won't.' He had seen the tattoo when she had walked in. She had deliberately worn a low backed dress so that he would see it. he assumed she was someone higher up in the Yakuza than he was. She had the markings of a Yakuza woman, and more money than he'd made in a lifetime. He assumed correctly she had even more money than he would ever see in his life. She was someone important. 'How will you know I have done the job? Do you want me to send photographs?' 'I'll know, as it will be on the front page of every newspaper in this country. You will do it, and you will do it so that there is no mistaking the message that is being sent.' The assassin wasn't sure what Tatsuya had done to bring down the wrath of the Yakuza upon himself, but he was not going to make the same mistake. He was being paid exceptionally, and he was going to make this assassination was so gruesome that it could not be ignored by any reporter anywhere in any part of Japan. This was going on page one, and possibly page two, page three and a centrefold spread asking how someone could do something so bizarre. Sure enough, the next day, on every major paper through out Japan. The story of some ritual style killing. Tatsuya, his wife, his three mistresses, their children, all slain. The only person on the planet still carrying his genes as Kaede, and Moe would protect her for the rest of her life. Tatsuya had taken everything from Moe. he loving family, her inheritance, her money. The only things he had left her were her Grandfather, Kaede and the clothes they were in. Now, she had taken even more from him. She had taken everything he had owned, everything he had ever been and the Yakuza world were shocked into the belief that it had happened as he had somehow crossed the Yakuza. His name had been soiled, his reputation destroyed. The rumours of a rich Yakuza woman paying abounded and his disgrace became legendary. No one knew what he did wrong, but whatever it was, he had crossed the wrong person and had paid dearly. Moe returned to America, and whenever Kaede asked about her father, Moe was now able to reply with all honestly, that he had died.

Chapter Fifteen

Hansen turned the watch over and over in his hand. Once again, he was overcome by the sadness of it all. Why? Why did it always come down to this? He looked at the clock. It was a new one. The old clock had gone missing and the general staff at the hospital thought it was unusual. Who would steal a normal everyday cheap clock off the wall? They put it down to a weird patient who had come and gone. The new one was better. Hansen liked it a lot better. It was plastic, but its face was not scratched and the fake gold trim made it look more expensive than it was. He watched the second hand. He held his breath for ten seconds. The second hand moved and ticked and Hansen counted under his breath. TEN! He let his breath out. He looked down at the watch. It was a metal watch. It had belonged to one of the boys in the ward. Now, it was in Hansen's hand, as he sadly turned it over and over. He looked at the face of it. Like the other watches, it had an hour hand, a minute hand and a second hand. The second hand ticked away, oblivious to the world around it. Every second the same as the one before. No shorter, no longer. Consistent, unchanging. Hansen liked seconds. Hansen liked time. He opened the draw. The draw was empty. Now, it contained the metal watch. A boys watch. A watch that ticked. The ticking somehow made Hansen feel more at ease. Still, the sadness remained. Why did it always come down to this? Why could life not be more consistent like the ticking of the watch? He shut the draw. He tried not to think about the watch. He had watches at home. Hundreds of watches. He liked watches. He liked clocks. He did not like the digital ones though. He only liked the ones which had second hands. The ones which ticked. The ticking soothed him. It reminded him of something consistent. It was something to contrast against the fragile nature of the world. The world was too dynamic. It changed too often. People come, and people go, and there was always someone dying. Dying of something. He was a doctor. He tried to help, he tried to stem the flow of human suffering. If only he could make sure that another person could survive for one more day. Give some consistency to other peoples lives. They could come to the hospital and their loved one would still be there. Still waiting for their visit. The watch made him sad. It always came back to this. Why? He placed his head in his hands and stared at the clock. He counted off a minute. The second hand counting his anguish. Every second was another second of his failure. Slowly, removing another second from his life. Another second from another persons life. He wondered how many people were dying in that very minute he was slowly counting off second by second. The second hand reached the twelve again, and the minute had passed. He reached for the draw. He looked down at his hand. Should he open the draw? Of course he would. He always did. He opened it. He looked at the watch. Then he slammed the draw in frustration. He gritted his teeth and locked the draw. Coffee! He would go for some coffee! He picked the mug up from his desk. He was not sure whose mug it was. He never used his own mug at work. He did not even have his own mug. He always used someone else's. At home, he had lots of mugs. Lots of clocks and lots of watches. This was not his mug. It was obviously a girls mug. It was white with red roses on it. He got to the kitchen area. Nurse Jane had seen him from the nurses station and hurried to the kitchen so she could be there the same time as him. 'You have my mug,' she said as she entered. 'Sorry?' 'My mug. The one with the roses. It's mine.' 'Oh,' Hansen was a little perplexed. 'I thought I bought you the Garfield one.' 'Yes, yes. I still have that one. I took it home. I thought it was a little ... special.' 'Special?' Jane blushed and looked down, one hand touched her heart. How much had she given away? Would he realise how much of a crush she had on him? 'It was such a nice mug. I liked it, and, you know. It was mine, so I took it home. I brought this other one. The one with the roses on it. I thought no one else would use it.' 'Oh, sorry. I was just using it. I don't have my own. I just use which ever is in the kitchen at the time.' 'That's Okay,' she lied. 'I don't mind you using it, but there seems to be a coffee mug thief working here. That's why I took the other one home. This one is just a cheap mug.' He sheepishly smiled and handed her her mug back. He took one of the other mugs from the shelf. A plain white mug with nothing on it. 'Oh, you don't want to use that mug!' exclaimed Jane. 'That's sister Agnes' mug. You might catch something.' 'Oh!' he laughed. 'I might start babbling incessantly if I use this one. Ja?' 'Ja! I mean yes!' she laughed a little. They both looked at each other smiling. Something melted inside her. If only he knew. 'I will try this one then,' he said taking a bright orange mug. It had, 'So many men, so few bullets written on it.' 'Looks good, Ja?' he said to her. 'Yeah! I think that one is Sam's. She's nice enough. Only thing you can catch from her is niceness I suspect.' 'Sounds good. I can always do with some niceness.' 'Oh Doctor, you are plenty nice already.' 'Plenty nice?' 'Very nice. You're a nice person,' she touched his hand again. This time he looked a little uncomfortable. 'I have to return to working. Bye,' he managed a slight smile as he left. 'Oh, no!' thought Jane, 'I've offended him!'

Chapter Fourteen

Bob sat watching the television, it was two months since the accident. In that time he had not been to school once. He had spent most of his time watching DVDs or playing on his Play station two. He did not feel like doing much at all in fact, he was not sure where he was going in life. It was nine o'clock at night. Other than his parents had seen nobody in the last two months. He'd fallen into a Malaise that he could not get out of. He had spent most of the time lying on his bed wondering what the purpose of living was. Slim's death had been a major shock to him. He had lost his best friend. Though he had had many well wishes, nothing to that could be said could take away the pain that he felt. He heard a tapping at his window. He was in two minds as to whether to look or not. The tapping continued. He grabbed the remote, and pressed the pause button. He heard some more tapping. Pulling the curtains back, he looked out the window. As the light was still on in his bedroom, he could not see out. He let the curtains slide back into position. He then turned the light switch off. He went back to the curtain and looked out again. Akane was standing outside his window. Bob let the curtains slide back. He was not in the mood to talk to Akane. Akane of all people would bring back bad memories. After all, she was Slim's old girlfriend. Akane knocked on the window again. Bob ignored her and went back to watching the DVD he was watching. She knocked harder on the window, as if it was urgent. The more Bob ignored her, the more insistent she became. Annoyed, Bob went to the window again. He opened it. 'What?' he almost yelled it at her. 'Let me in.' 'Why?' 'I want to talk.' 'Get lost.' He slammed the window shut. As far as he was concerned he did not want to see her. She knocked on the window again. He ignored her and turned the television up even more. She kept knocking. Bob was afraid to turn the television up any further. If he did his parents may come to talk to him. His parents were some of the last people he wanted to speak to. He turned the television back down. He pressed the pause button again. He whipped the curtain back and glared at her. How dare she! She glared back at him. They stood there glaring at each other. When he didn't open the window she knocked on it again and looked at him expectantly. Though he had not been at school he suspected that Akane was making the most of Slim's death. Though Akane and Slim's relationship had been a secret, Bob suspected that Akane had revealed it to the school. It would not surprise him to find that she was playing the devastated girlfriend role. She was pulling as much attention to herself as she possibly could. It grated on his nerves that she would use Slim's death in such a way. Bob could never figure out what Slim saw in her. She was just a drama queen, who thought of nothing but herself. He could hear her muffled talk through the window. 'Open up you arse hole!' He opened the window a crack and said to her, 'Why don't you go annoy someone else?' He shut the window again before she could reply. She banged on the window harder. It was getting so hard that Bob began to suspect his parents might come to investigate. He was in two minds about who he would prefer to spend more time with; Akane, or his parents? He figured, if he let Akane talk, maybe she would go away. If she did not, then he could get his parents to get rid of her and tell her never to return. He opened the window again. Akane started to climb in the window. 'Hey, I didn't give you permission to come in!' 'Tough luck. Help me in.' Bob helped her into his bedroom. She straightened herself up and looked at him. 'I want to talk.' 'So I gathered.' 'You haven't been around much.' 'Maybe you haven't heard. I'm feeling a little sad,' he said it in such a way that the venom could clearly be heard. 'Oh, I'm sorry. Were you in love with Slim too?' He snorted at her retort. Love was a strong word for her to use. The only person she loved, as far as he could tell, was herself. 'Slim was my best friend, I was a hell of a lot closer to him than you ever were!' It was Akane's turn to snort back at him, 'I doubt that. You ever give him a hand job? I don't think so little boy!' 'Giving a guy a hand job doesn't prove a thing bitch. Is that all you came here for, to brag about your ... prowess?' 'No, every bodies worried about you Bob. We haven't seen you in weeks. It's unnatural.' 'Don't speak to me about what is and isn't natural. Just leave me alone!' 'No, I can't. I loved Slim. I know Slim wouldn't want you to be doing this.' 'Oh, really,' Bob replied in his most sarcastic voice. 'Well if you've been so concerned, why haven't you come to see me before?' 'I've been grounded for over a month.' 'Good! What did you do to deserve that?' 'I stuck something in my mother's handbag to get her arrested.' 'Really?' Bob was amazed. He knew Akane could be a self centred bitch, but he never imagined her doing that. 'What happened?' Akane related the story. She included everything, and as she talked, Bob and her sat down on Bob's bed. Somewhere during the story, they both lay back on the bed and had a good laugh about it all. Akane then related the sorts of things which were happening at school. Though Bob had been two years below both her and Slim, she knew some of the people in her year. Actually, she mainly knew them by site, but her acute sense of awareness had allowed her to describe some of their mannerisms, and the clothes they usually wore. Bob had never realised Akane was so astute. Maybe there was more to Akane than all her hype and show. Maybe this is what Slim saw in her. A side that no one else ever saw, and now Bob was being allowed into the inner sanctum that Akane kept for no one else. He was suddenly very aware that his hatred for this girl had changed. Previously, he had tolerated her, but only because she was Slim's girlfriend. Now, he was actually starting to like her. In a way, she was the only link to Slim that he had other than his own memories. No one else knew Slim the way they did. Somewhere amongst the talk, they both started to relate to each other. They began telling funny stories regarding Slim. The time Slim broke his arm coming off his skateboard. He was so embarrassed he told everyone he had been attacked by bikers and had to skate for his life. The bikers were swinging chains and waving large knives at him. He claimed the arm finally got broken when he grabbed one of the bikers chains and hauled the guy off his Harley. The other bikers became so afraid that the picked up their friend and rode off. It was a good story till Slim's mother related how she'd been speaking to him in their own driveway. Slim had misjudged where he had left his own board and as he tried to step onto it while still talking to his mother, the board flew out from under him and sent him sprawling on the cement. She raced the poor dear to hospital immediately. It was just a normal everyday broken arm. Nothing sinister, and definitely nothing to do with bikers. Bob and Akane laughed at good old Slim. He always had a way of relating the mundane and making it into some fantastic adventure. Poor Slim. They sighed.

Chapter Thirteen (Lucky Thirteen!)

Moe had been surprised to come home and find Naoki at her house the other day. She was even more surprised when he did not go home to Mai. Kaede had been unusually with drawn. Normally she had a good relationship with her daughter. Moe believed Naoki was a good man, and she admired him. He was always good to her, and good to her daughter. She had met Akane and Mai at many functions and understood why Naoki had been looking outside for fulfilment in a relationship. Moe was convinced she was providing that for Naoki. It was time she made her move. She would talk to Kaede about having Naoki move in permanently. She could think of no better move than to help Naoki leave Mai and have him move in with her. It would offer Naoki with a permanent solution to his impasse. It would also mean that Moe would now possess the man she admired most in the world. It might mean a small fight, but Moe had what Naoki needed, and Mai had nothing to offer Naoki. Moe was convinced it was the right move. Moe called to Kaede. 'Hai, Haha,' Kaede said as she entered the room. 'Haha' being what she called her mother. 'Kaede, what would you think if I asked Naoki to move in with us permanently?' Moe asked. Kaede face became shocked. This was unexpected. She had long tried to find the right moment to make her move on Naoki. Though he was in his early thirties, and she seventeen, she considered him the man she wanted. Now, her mother was going to have him in the house. It was going to be strange. In one way, it would be more dangerous. She would be closer to him almost every night. It would make him easier to be with and more accessible, but she also felt that somehow, it would become easier to be caught. Moe reacted to her silence. 'Kaede? Are you alright? What do you think?' 'Oh, it was just unexpected Haha. I had not given it a thought before. It is a little bit of a shock. We have never had a man in the house before. Not all the time.' 'Well get used to it. I am going to ask Naoki to move in. He doesn't love Mai. He doesn't even like her. He loves me.' 'He has told you that?' 'He doesn't have to. I know him. Why do you think he stayed over the other night?' Kaede didn't have the heart to tell her mother that it was simply because Moe had come home a little early. Naoki and Kaede were still having sex in her bedroom. They had heard Moe drive into the drive way. Naoki had quickly grabbed his clothing and raced into Moe's bedroom. He quickly arranged the room so it looked like he was waiting for her. Moe had seen his car in the driveway so she knew he was there. It was very unusual. She could only surmise that she was winning the unspoken battle against Mai. Naoki was slowly succumbing to her charms and was ready to leave Mai. Moe had won. 'If that is what you want, Haha,' Kaede said. 'You do not sound like you approve of this,' Moe turned her head slightly to get a better gauge of Kaede's reaction. 'It is fine, Haha,' Kaede lied adding a smile. She could not let her mother know what had happened the other night. Maybe she needed to forget about Naoki. After all, her mother deserved happiness too. There would be other men. Still, there was a part of Kaede that did not want to let go of Naoki. She did not want to hurt her mother either. Her mother had fought a long hard battle to get to where she is today. She had fought against the prejudice of being a woman in a mans world to get to a management position. Japan was still recalcitrant in many ways, and a woman in Moe's position was still very rare. She had earned every promotion, every pay rise and every ounce of respect that she received. How could Kaede now take away the one thing Moe had always lacked, the man that she loved. 'It is a good idea I think,' Kaede added. She smiled even more broadly now, so that her mother would not suspect anything. Kaede had decided, in the battle for Naoki's affections, she would permanently withdraw. Her night with Naoki was a mistake and it would never happen again. Moe picked up the telephone and dialed. Mai answered at the other end. Moe put on her most business like voice and asked to speak to Naoki. Mai wanted to know why. It was late. 'Business,' was all Moe said. Naoki took the telephone from Mai. Moe told him to come over immediately. Naoki was a little surprised. Maybe Kaede had told Moe about their affair. Was it possible Moe was going to chew him out and fire him. 'What did that whore want, Naoki?' Mai asked as he put the telephone down. 'I think I made a big mistake,' Naoki said in honest embarrassment. 'I think I am about to lose my job.' 'Baka! You sleep with that whore! She wouldn't fire you even if you did make a mistake.' 'Maybe. It depends on how she takes it. I better go.' Naoki put on his shoes and was out the door as quickly as he could. He was in fear all the way over to Moe's house. He went through apology after apology in his head. How could he explain to his mistress that he had slept with her daughter? He was perplexed. On the one hand, Akane knew he had not returned home. he could lose Mai. Now, if Kaede had told Moe about them, then he could lose his job and Moe. If Mai found out about Kaede, maybe he would lose her too. Where would this leave him? He would be without a job, without a lover and without a home. In a few easy steps, he could lose the lot. He had to decide on a car to buy Akane soon, something to keep her mouth shut. Maybe he needed to buy Kaede one too. Two cars! How could he afford that? The worry was getting to him. The night he stayed at Moe's house, he could not sleep. He lay awake worrying the entire time. He was not burning the candle at both ends with all these relationships. It was more complex. It was like he was taking a blow torch to the candle and hoping the wax would stay in tact! Now, it was all going to come undone. The candle was going to be non-existent and he was going to be ... where? Out on the street? No home, no job. Where to go from here? Maybe he could drive his car off the road and into a ditch, hoping it might end his misery then and there. They could all discover his deeds after he was gone. It was bad to speak ill of the dead. They would all turn up to his funeral and say such nice things. Deep inside they would know he had been up to no good. Or maybe they would be in such a state that they all just keep quite to hide their own sins. Then again, he reasoned. Moe has not said anything to even hint that she knows about Kaede and him. Maybe she does not know. Maybe he was going to be offered a promotion. No, there were no promotions. He would have heard if there was a possibility of a promotion. Maybe she just wanted him to sleep over again. After all, it was very unusual that he would sleep over normally. Maybe she liked the experience and wanted to have him again. Not just for a casual liaison this time, but for the entire night. How would he explain that to Mai? Akane would then tell Mai about the other night. His marriage would be over if he stopped going home. He was confused. He was not even sure what he wanted. In one way, if he and Kaede had been discovered, it would be a great weight off his shoulders. In another way, he would be ruined. Then again, Kaede was a good girl. She would not tell. What of Akane then? Akane and Kaede went to the same school. What if Kaede bragged about it to Akane? Akane would then know the real reason he had not come home that night. Akane could tell Mai, Mai would tell Moe, and his life was ruined. How had his life become so complex? He had never imagines life would become so hard. He turned the wheel and was in Moe's driveway. He switched off the engine and waited a little. He could still drive home. He could call Moe on the car phone and just ask her what she really wanted. If she was going to fire him, she could do it over the telephone. Then again, maybe he was making mountains out of molehills. There was only one thing he could do. He had to go into the house. He had to find out whether he was facing the music or if she just wanted him for that night. He got out of the car and straightened himself. If it was going to be trouble, there was no way out, there was only through.

Chapter Twelve

Mai had spent the night in jail. After the police had viewed the stores video surveillance, they realised Akane was actually at fault. They pieced together what had happened, and the Pet Shop owner had agreed that Mai and Akane had indeed argued while in the pet store. Mai convinced the pet store owner not to prosecute, under the agreement that Akane would be punished severely by Mai and Naoki. Mai had taken a taxi home, and found Akane had already left for school. Even the teachers had noticed a major change in Akane's attitude. She was no longer being a smart Alec kid giving lip whenever she could. She actually seemed to be concentrating on her studies and being attentive. One teacher was surprised when she asked an intelligent question that proved she was paying attention in class. Previously, she had come across as a narcissistic smart arse who thought she would one day marry a success based upon her looks. Today, she was totally different. One of her teachers suspected there was something wrong. She caught Akane before she left for home and asked if there was a problem. Akane just replied that maybe she had grown up. The teacher was perplexed, but did not want to press the point. Whatever had happened, Akane had actually seemed to have changed for the better. The teachers hoped it was for good and not just a passing phase. Still, there was a little discussion amongst the teachers in the staffroom after school. People do not just change over night without something drastic happening in their lives. The school counsellor was convinced it was part of an act, and Akane had something planned in order to draw attention to herself. Akane arrived home to find her mother furious. Mai let go with a tirade of abuse. Akane just took it all in stride. She agreed with Mai on every point. Yes, she had stuck the solution in Mai's handbag. Yes, it was wrong. Yes, she was truly sorry and it would never happen again. Mai did not believe what she was hearing, so she kept on. After a while, Mai had to stop. She had run out of steam. Akane had successfully let Mai vent her anger without once disagreeing and without once complaining. Mai gave up. She told Akane she was grounded for a month and was not going to be allowed to attend the school dance. Akane agreed. This infuriated Mai even more. How dare Akane take all this in stride! How dare she agree. This was supposed to be punishment, yet somehow Akane did not seem to be getting punished at all. It was like Akane had a plan of her own and everything was working in her favour. Mai could not tell what was going through Akane's head either. She was virtually expressionless as Mai let loose her worst on her, calling her a 'Yariman', a slut, and every other insult she could think of. It made Mai feel totally out of control with Akane. Something she did not like the feeling of. She vowed to do something to make Akane wish she had never crossed her. She sent Akane to her room. Ten minutes later, suspecting Akane was watching her Tee Vee, she went in there to tell her off. She was infuriated to find Akane actually studying. Mai unplugged Akane's Tee Vee and took it with her out of the room. Akane did not care in the least. She was determined that she was going to finish high school with the highest possible marks ever. She was going to go to University and make something of herself. The only person she could rely on, was her, and she believed it. Mai would not be there for her, Naoki would not be there for her. Only she would be. Only she could make her life work. After Mai stormed off, Akane studied hard. She knew she could do well. She had wasted most of the year, but she was determined to make up for lost ground. She would talk to her teachers and find out what she needed to do to raise her marks. So far she had chosen to cruise like most of the other students. Now, she was going to exceed them and she was going to be someone. No one, ever, not in the future, not now, was ever going to hold her back or stop her from being all she could be. What other people thought of her did not matter any more. She was in charge of her life, and that was all that mattered. At six she heard Naoki arrive home. Mai went berserk telling him what had happened. Mai still did not know that Naoki had not come home the night before. Akane was not about to tell her. She heard Naoki agree to go talk to Akane. Naoki knocked and sheepishly entered Akane's room. Akane must have known that he had not returned home the previous night. He was now confused. It was the sort of thing that Akane should have, and would have used almost immediately to divert Mai's anger from herself. Naoki was very suspicious about what Akane had planned. 'Your mother is very upset,' said Naoki. 'Yes, I know,' replied Akane. She stopped reading her book and making notes and looked Naoki in the eye. It was a very hard stare, and it almost made Naoki flinch. He felt like he was somehow an intruder, like he did not belong in the room. 'She is very upset,' he said emphasizing the 'very'. 'I said "I know". I know she is upset. I'm sorry already.' 'Hai, alright,' he seemed to be at a loss. 'Well, I think maybe we need to talk.' 'Go ahead.' He entered the room and shut the door. A part of him was afraid. He had come home expecting to have Mai blast him for not coming home. He was expecting something completely different, and somehow the household had changed while he was away. He felt less control over his own house than ever. He felt the women in his life had gained more power over him. On the one hand, Akane knew he had not returned. Mai was still ignorant to this fact, and it was what he had prepared himself to fight. It was like someone had switched all the shoes and the ones he was expecting to wear were not the ones on his feet. He was once again caught on the back foot. On top of this, Kaede now had power over him, thanks to the affair they had started. Moe had power over him, as she was not just his mistress, she was also his boss. His own tangled web just got more complex. Now, he had to deal with Akane, and he had no idea what she wanted. 'You know ... you know I did not come home.' 'Yes.' 'Well, you did not tell Mai.' 'It's none of my business where you sleep at night. Was your slut good? Don't tell me, because I really don't care.' Naoki was more confused. Akane seemed to have the upper hand, but she also did not seem to want to use it. She was in a position that she could have anything. Anything she wanted, yet she had not dared once to name her price. Maybe she was going to use it in the future. Maybe she was waiting for the right moment. Surely she would not. She was surely not that smart. Then again, she sometimes was as smart as a shrew. 'I am at a loss,' he said. 'I don't know what you want. Tell me what you want.' 'I don't want anything! I just want to study. I want to study and go to university! Now if you are not going to say anything, then get out of my room and let me study.' He had almost laughed when she first started. Study was not her style. As she continued though, he realised she was serious. University? She had never ever expressed any interested in studying at university before. 'What do you wish to study?' he asked. 'What do you care?' 'I am just interested, that's all.' 'Your not interested in anything except getting your nob sucked,' she spat at him. That was it, he thought. I will buy her a car.

Chapter Eleven

Eddie walked towards the Nacropolis. He was determined to cross the bridge this time, demons or no demons. He approached the gatehouse. He could not see any demons present, but still walked at a wary pace towards it occasionally looking behind, as if expecting the worst. He looked down at the water, and saw a sudden flash of silver across the water. He ran, and as he ran, he heard the beat of running footsteps behind him. His lungs began to feel as though they were going to burst. He had to make it to the gatehouse, and then onto the bridge. He was unsure if making it onto the bridge would make him safe, but he knew if he could make it to the Nacropolis, then he would be Okay. 'You are doing good Eddie,' the voice said. 'Keep running, I will try to slow them down. Don't look behind.' Eddie was suddenly curious. Maybe if he looked around he would see whoever the voice belonged to. It was going to help him. He also knew if he looked behind him, it would slow him down. When you sprint, keep looking forward, he told himself. Look forward and run as fast as you can. He was approaching the gatehouse. He could tell the beats of the chasers were getting closer. They were closing in on him. Just as he got to the gatehouse, the first demon appeared before him. 'Aha!' it screamed at him. It was too late, Eddie leapt over the demons left leg and into the gatehouse. He did not dare to stop and look to see if he was being followed. He just kept running. He was on the bridge. He could not ever remember crossing the bridge. He must of crossed it at one stage, after all, he had been in the Nacropolis. He remembers being there. He remembers seeing the sleeping. 'Well done, Eddie,' the voice said. 'Can I stop running?' 'Not just yet. A little further and you will be safe.' Eddie could not hear the chasers now. He had left them behind. Maybe the first demon had blocked their path, and unwittingly allowed their prey to escape. Eddie smiled to himself and slowed his running down a little. 'Don't slow down,' said the voice. 'A little further to go.' Eddie accelerated again and was at the end of the bridge. A wooden drawbridge was down and he ran across it. It was a long fall into the river below if anyone was to swerve left or right. He was over the drawbridge and under the portcullis and into the drawbridges gatehouse. He stopped and turned to look, panting. A smiled made its way across his face, a broad smile that showed that he knew he had won this round. The demons were part the way across the bridge. Suddenly the drawbridge started to raise. Eddie could not see anyone operating the winches. They just moved on their own. He looked at them curiously. 'Don't worry about them,' said the voice. 'They always raise on their own when there is no one left to enter.' Eddie was curious about that statement. No one left to enter. What did it mean? Was he the last? Or was there just no one left to come to the Nacropolis for a while. Surely someone else was coming soon. Surely the sleeping came and went all the time. Somewhere in the Nacropolis was the soul of Urbano, the truck driver. Eddie went in search of it. He had seen Urbano's soul there before. Was he still asleep? 'He's no longer here Eddie,' said the voice. 'How do you know I was looking for him?' 'I know. I always know.' 'Who are you?' Eddie asked again. There was silence. Who was it? Who was this voice that kept helping me? He thought about the question but could not answer it. Was it God? Was it an angel? Who was it? He wandered amongst the sleeping souls. Each soul kept in a little alcove, with a small bed. It was like a catacomb. Not that Eddie had ever seen a catacomb before. 'Where is my soul?' asked Eddie. 'What do you mean?' asked the voice in reply. 'The demons, they said they were after my soul. A part of my soul they couldn't find.' The voice did not respond. Eddie continued walking. The Narcopolis was a very boring place. Nothing seemed to happen here. Just a lot of sleeping souls, and not one of them awake. 'Am I the only one here?' asked Eddie. 'No, I am here,' replied the voice. 'Who are you?' Silence again. The voice never answered that question. Maybe the voice did not know who it was either. 'Are you the guardian of the Nacropolis?' Eddie asked. 'Maybe,' replied the voice. Eddie walked on. He didn't know what to do. Towers of little alcoves surrounded him, reaching up to the sky. Lots of souls were sleeping, dreaming away. 'Why am I not asleep?' Eddie asked. 'Your soul is asleep.' 'Where is it? Can I see my soul?' Silence. Why didn't the voice respond? Maybe a person could see everyone else's soul, but not their own. Maybe the voice was the wrong person to ask. 'Is there someone else here I can talk to?' 'No,' replied the voice. 'Everyone else is asleep. You and I are the only ones awake.' 'Who shut the draw bridge then?' 'They did.' 'Who are they?' No response. The voice knew a little, but never enough to answer his questions. Even the voices answers raised more questions. Some of the answers Eddie knew himself anyway. He knew what the Nacropolis was, and he knew it was where the soul came to sleep. He knew this, and yet somehow, the voice only seemed to reflect the things he knew, or the things he suspected were true. The voice never seemed to know any more than he did. Who was it? Eddie came upon a large Piazza with a large fountain in the middle. The water from the fountain came tumbling down from the mouth of large urn being held by a large statue. The water tumbled a glowing blue. It hit parts of the statue as it fell, spraying mist throughout the Nacropolis. The rest ran or splashed into a reservoir at the foot of the statue. 'What is that?' Eddie asked, and he already suspected he knew the answer. 'It is the fountain of dreams,' confirmed the voice. 'It is where dreams are made. The mist permeates the Nacropolis giving dreams to the sleeping soul. It makes the souls whole again.' 'Why do I know that?' 'Everyone knows that. Everyone who has ever slept knows of the Nacropolis.' 'Why did the demons take Slim?' Eddie honestly did not know, and the voice never replied. The voice only knew as much as Eddie knew. 'Are you the missing part of my soul?' Eddie asked the voice. 'I don't know Eddie. I don't know what I am.'

Chapter Ten

Doctor Huisman sat looking at the watch in his hands. It was a metallic Tag watch. He was overcome by feelings of grief. How much longer could this sort of thing go on for? Why could he not stop it from repeatedly happening? He was a Doctor. Surely he could do something. He opened his top draw. He stared into the draw, then carefully placed the Tag watch along side the Mickey Mouse watch with the pink wristband. How would he ever explain it? How could he? He was forever having to explain. It came with the territory, he surmised. It was something he wished he could avoid, but it kept occurring, over and over again. It was the same at the last hospital. He could not stop it. He could not control it. He was not some sort of god who had power over this sort of thing. He just had to let it happen and hope that one day there would be a cure. Hope that one day, it all would stop. He stared into the draw some more. He looked at the clock. He counted sixty seconds as it slowly ticked. The seconds seemed to go past so slow. Yet, life could be so quick. Life had a way of being so unpredictable, yet the clock, the clock was predictable. Every second was the same as the last on the clock. It lasted the same amount of time, and each time the second hand went around the clock, it would count off the same seconds in the same order. It was predictable. It was safe. Life though, life wasn't safe. There were things that just could not be controlled. Things that you would think a man could control, but he could not. There were things you could touch. Things you could feel. Emotions were things you could feel too, but you could not touch them. Not in the same way as things. He took the Tag out of the draw again. He stared at it. It gave him a great sadness. He played with it in his hands. He moved his fingers along the wristband. He liked clocks and watches. He liked the fact that they had a predictability about them. They were complex, yet they did something simple. Life was complex. Too complex at times. Why could life not be as easy and predictable as a watch? He rotated the watch along its wristband till he came back to the face. He starred at the face. The face of a watch that belonged to a little boy. A watch which brought the Doctor great pain and great sadness. How could he explain? What would he tell the parents? How could they possibly understand? He stopped staring at the watch and placed it in the draw again. He shut the draw. He held the draw shut, and went to lock it. Then he opened the draw again and stared at the two watches. The sadness in his heart was there in those two watches. He shut the draw again, and locked it. He looked at the coffee mug on his desk. Next to the one he was using, was the one he had bought to replace Nurse Jane's mug. Like her other one, this one had Garfield on it. He had bought it at one of the novelty stores. He seldom went into novelty stores. For some reason, he could never find their merchandise that funny. Sometimes, they would have clocks or watches. He liked watches and clocks, but did not like seeing them in novelty stores. He looked through his in tray. He was trying to find Edmond McCarty's file. He found it and pulled it out of the pile. He opened it, looked at it, and felt the sadness come over him again. He wrote some notes in the file and closed it leaving it on his desk. He walked to a side cabinet which had numerous x-rays sitting on top. He took one of Edmond's skull and placed it on the viewer mounted on the side of the wall. He looked at it intensely. There was the fracture. A fracture in Edmond's skull. It was nasty. It had happened when Eddie had hit the road. Hansen pulled the X-ray out of the viewer and looked at it. He placed it back down on the pile of X-Rays, and switched the viewer off. He needed a coffee. He took the mug and went to the kitchen area. Sister Agnes was in there. 'Hi, have you seen Jane?' he asked. Agnes was not sure if it was sadness or fatigue that she saw in Hansen's face. 'She's gone home already,' replied Agnes. 'You look a little under the weather Doctor.' 'I broke Jane's mug earlier. i bought a new one for her.' 'Oh, that's not a reason to get upset. I'm sure Jane will forgive you.' 'Ja, I guess so,' Hansen managed a half hearted smile. 'A little coffee will bring a smile back to your face. I bet you've just been working a little too hard. Try not to take the job so personally Doctor.' Agnes babbling normally annoyed Hansen, but in this case, it made him feel a little more secure. If she just thought it was the job that was bothering him, then maybe he could hope no one would notice the real reason. It was more than the job. It was more than most things. Life got him down, and there were things he just could not discuss with his work colleagues. Things he could not even discuss with his wife. Sometimes, however, it was everything. 'If you see Jane, tell her I bought the new mug for her. Tell her it's in my office on my desk.' 'No worries Doctor Huisman.' Agnes had finished making her coffee and returned to the nurses station. As Hansen walked out of the kitchen area, she gave him a little smile and a wave in the hope that her good spirits might rub off on the Doctor. She was sure he was just too serious. He somehow took everything too personally. She put it down to the fact that he was Dutch. She was very wrong.

Chapter Nine

It was three thirty in the morning. Akane was not sure what had awoken her, but she felt strangely ill at ease. She knew her mother Mai was still at the police station, but she only just realised that Naoki had not returned home. She got out of bed, naked and opened the door to her bedroom. She only opened it a crack to see if anyone else was home. She was curious as to why she had been left all alone. She could see the master bedroom door was open, and neither her mother, nor Naoki was sleeping in the bed. The bed was untouched. 'How strange,' she thought to herself. She went for a walk through the house. She somehow felt very liberated that she could walk completely naked through the house. Normally with her mother or Naoki at home, she would put something on. Now, it was like she was the Queen of the house. Normally she thought of herself as the 'Imprisoned Princess', waiting for the day her Prince would come to rescue her. Or even better, the day she would break out of the castle herself and go in search of her Prince. She noticed she had left the curtains open in the lounge room. She had come back from talking to Jim, had gone straight to the kitchen and made herself some dinner. Then, she had gone straight to her bedroom, eaten and watched her television for a few hours. Finally, she had gone to sleep. In all that time, she had not noticed that Naoki had not returned from work. Maybe he had left them? Naoki would not dare! She went into the lounge room to shut the curtains. The moon shone white through the front window illuminating the entire lounge room. As she approached them, she suddenly noticed, standing in the middle of the street was Mark Fisher. Right at that moment, he turned and saw her too. He had seen her naked! Even her exhibitionist streak did not like the thought of this old man looking on her naked body. She gasped loudly and pulled the curtains shut. It was too late, he had seen her in all her glory. This was not the sort of attention she wanted at this point in her life. If it had been Aaron, or even Slim she might have not worried. This was old man Fisher though. This was the old man born in the nineteen thirties. He was so old that she did not even want to think about what was going through his head. She peered through the curtains again. He was still in the middle of the road. Only now he was staring straight at the window where she had been. He was looking straight at where she was now looking through the curtains at him. She thought about calling the police. She could claim there was some sort of stalker after her, or some neighbourhood pervert. What if the police came, and he told them what happened? What if they believed him? Then they would all know, and she certainly did not like the thought of being laughed at by the police. She was deeply worried by it. She hoped that old man Fisher would not tell anyone. She raced through to the kitchen. She hoped that old man Fisher did not come and knock on her door. What would she do if he did? She certainly would not open the door to him. She would just wait for him to leave. She waited. There was no knock at the door. She raced through to the lounge room again. She peered out of the curtains. Old man Fisher was still in the middle of the street. He was looking down the road. For some reason he seemed to be going through the accident in his head. He was trying to sort it all out in his brain for some reason. Maybe he did not care that Akane had seen him. Maybe he did not care that she had been standing there stark naked. She returned to the kitchen. The answering machine was flashing. Someone had left a message at some stage. She pressed the button to listen. It was Naoki's message saying he was working back and would be late. 'What a load of crap,' she thought. Working back was Naoki's code for going to see Moe. 'You've been sleeping with your whore you stupid man, and you've forgotten to come home to your family!' She half screamed it at the answering machine. She picked the machine up and slammed it down hard on the kitchen bench. She did not know why she resented Naoki seeing Moe. It was not as if he was cheating on her. She had never regarded him as a father at all. Still, somewhere inside her it still hurt. She returned to her bedroom. She opened her top draw and started to stick clothes on. First some flannel winter pyjama bottoms, then a light night dress she seldom wore. Then the flannel top, then a night gown which she wrapped tightly around her and tied. It was actually a warm night, but she still put the all this on. She lay down on her bed and turned her television on. She did not care what was on. She just turned the sound up and let it talk over the top of any thoughts that might have been going through her head. Somehow the world had changed that night. She decided that the only person who cared for her was her. The only person who would look after her, was her. Though she had done something awful to her mother, she decided that it was her mothers fault. Naoki was too busy sleeping with his whore to worry about what happened to her. No one was where they were supposed to be. Naoki was supposed to be there to protect her when her mother was not there. Her mother should have been looking after her rather than worrying about her own self image. Akane was glad she had got her mother into trouble. Mai deserved it. She was a self centred, egotistical bitch whose self promotion was the only thing which mattered. Akane was glad her mother might go to prison. It would get her out of her life altogether. As for Naoki, he would not even know. He had finally got the courage to leave and as far as she was concerned, Naoki was not coming back. Not if she could help it. Akane would live in the house by herself and look after herself. As far as she was concerned Mai and Naoki were dead to her. They no longer existed. They had no rights and no power over her. She was her own woman. Akane sat on her bed watching the television. Tears started to flow. She was alone in this world. Now, she suddenly missed Slim. It hit her like a brick to the face. In this cold hard world, Slim was her anchor. Slim was the one she turned to when things were bad at home. He was the one she could talk to. He had made the world seem sane. He had made the world an easier place to live. Now, he was gone. She was alone. All this time, she had only been thinking of herself. She realised something about Slim. Slim had always thought of others. he had always tried to make others feel special. He had. He had made her seem special. When at other times, she always had to compete to make others see her, notice her. Always trying to show other people that she was special, Slim has always seen it. She never had to try with him. He could always see it in her. Maybe, he had been in love with her. He had never said it, but now, Akane realised, she had been in love with Slim. Maybe, just maybe that was why she had let him through her facade to see the real her. That was why she was able to share the real Akane with him. Not the fake Akane that had to search for attention all the time. Not the Akane that craved to be noticed. To be seen as special. He had seen the real Akane, and now, he was gone forever. At this realisation, she broke even more. The tears turned from a flow to a dam bursting and she could not stop it, and she could not control it. She cried aloud and she cried in heavy sobs that came from deep within her very soul. She wished that she could just die, and the pain would be taken from her. She knew it wasn't possible though. Something had broken inside her, and it could never be fixed again. Not now, not in a million years.

Chapter Eight

Eddie was awake. There was not much he could do with most of his body in plaster. The injuries were not as bad as his mother has said. He had not broken almost every bone in his body. He had broken most of his right side ribs, his right arm, as well as getting a fracture in his skull. Plus, his right side leg, the femur and tibia were broken. The foot was actually unharmed. His left leg was in considerable pain though. The impact had twisted it and had been placed back into the hip socket by the paramedic in the ambulance. The nurse Jane was giving him a sponge bath. He told her about the demons. She just smiled at him and told him that she often has nightmares like that too. He looked down at his stomach where the demons had cut him open. It seemed quite normal and in tact now. Not even a scar. He knew the reason was that the demons were not attacking his earthly body, they were attacking his spiritual one. Spirits heal different to the physical though. When he returned to the Nacropolis, he would be the same as he had always been. Fully intact and able to do battle again. He needed something more to take the demons on though. The problem, was he wasn't sure how to handle the demons when they came to him in the physical world. What would have happened if they had of cut him open when they came in the room earlier? Would they attack the nurse or the doctor? What about his parents? Were they safe? Most of all, what were they looking for? What did he have? Was it something Slim had left behind? After all, he had seen the demons carry Slim away. Maybe part of Slim's soul was still sleeping in the Narcropolis. Was it possible they only got part of Slim? Was there still a chance that Slim could be saved if he could find that part of Slim's soul and return it? Maybe the voice could tell him. Jane lifted the bedsheets up and started to wash his lower regions. Eddie was partly embarrassed and partly aroused. He became more embarrassed when he became more aroused than he had hoped for. He blushed and Nurse Jane just smiled at him. She had had that sort of thing happen before. She was just grateful it was not an old wrinkly man this time. They would normally come out with some disgusting sexual comment which made her want to hurl her lunch. 'Your friend Jim was here earlier, but you were asleep.' 'Oh,' Eddie replied. He would very much have liked to talk to Jim. Maybe Jim would believe him about the demons. All the grown ups just seemed to put it down to dreams and nightmares. 'His arms are still in plaster,' Jane said. 'You should see him, he looks like a robot. Like this.' Jane waved her arms around as though they were in plaster. Eddie laughed at her, as she pulled some funny faces as she did it and walked like a toy robot. 'What time is it?' Eddie asked. His Tag watch was sitting on the bedside table, but from his vantage point, the face was not able to be seen. Jane moved the watch so he could see the face. 'Oh, ten,' said Eddie. 'Yes, ten in the morning. Your mother is normally in by now to visit you. You know, she never left your side the entire time you were unconscious?' 'Yes, I know.' 'Well, that's the end of your bath. I'm glad you at least enjoyed it today.' She did not mean to make it sound like that. It just came out, and Eddie blushed a bright red. She was about to apologise, but Eddie was also smiling a very wide smile. She smiled back and wiggled her eye-brows up and down. This made Eddie laugh. She helped to get the hospital gown back on him. 'Now,' she said as she left the room. 'You be good and stop trying to pick up us young impressionable nurses.' Eddie turned red once more and smiled. He liked nurse Jane. He looked over at his Tag watch. At least now he could tell the time. He fell asleep. His mother came and went while he slept, as she didn't want to wake him. He needed his sleep to mend. Eddie awoke, his TAG watch glowed silver in the moonlight. It was three in the morning. Eddie turned his head. At the end of his bed stood the first demon. Eddie wet himself. 'We need to talk, little human!' 'I don't know what you are looking for!' His flushed face began to get some colour back. The initial shock of seeing the demon was wearing off a bit. Still, there was a part of his mind that felt that now he was awake, this being could harm him. 'Were you just at the Nacropolis?' 'I don't remember!' Eddie was not lying. He honestly could not remember where he had just been. His last memory was getting the bed bath from Nurse Jane. 'You LIE!' The demon pulled out his long sharp knife. It glistened silver as he rotated it in his hand. As Eddie watched, the second demon descended through the roof. A third one he had never seen before came through the doorway, and a fourth through the wall next to the window. The second demon came close to Eddies face, saying, 'I would do as he says little one. You know he isn't afraid to use that knife!' Eddie could see his teeth close up. They were metallic and a glint reflected off it as he talked. He smiled a grimace at Eddie. It was menacing, but it also made Eddie aware that any pain the demon was going to inflict on him, was going to be done with the utmost pleasure. 'I'd like to help,' said Eddie. 'If you tell me what you are after, I can help you find it.' 'We want your soul,' the first demon said. 'Why can't we find your soul? Surely it is inside you somewhere. Where did you hide it? Is it in the Nacropolis?' 'My soul?' Eddie was more terrified than when the demons had first appeared. Maybe that was why Slim had died and he had not. Maybe he was supposed to have died, but his soul had somehow escaped. Somehow it had made it to the Nacropolis, and that was why he kept visiting it when he slept. He was being reunited with his soul in sleep. Awake, his soul was not in his body, so he had somehow avoided death. These demons wanted to take his soul. They wanted to take it so that he could die. The second demon floated back towards the roof. It pulled a large knife out of its pocket similar to the one the first one carried. The third demon was standing with a large axe, while the last had a long blade attached on the end of a stick called a Naginata. The one with the axe raised it above his head. Eddie lay terrified that it was going to be brought down upon him. The axe stay at the top of the arc. It wasn't moving. Eddie breathed a sigh of relief, and just as he finished releasing it, the demon let the axe fall. Eddie jolted and his arm cast broke at the elbow. The axe fell upon his neck.

My Views on the 'Polyamorous Article'

Dreamer sent me this link "Forget monogamy and swinging. We're seriously polyamorous" and thought I might like to blog about it. As per most of the stuff I place on this blog, this is basically my own opinion, and not designed to offend. After reading the article, I felt that the Polyamorous lacked any serious scientific fact to back up a lot of their claims. (Though I include something a little later on) I'll tackle what I think is just pure propagenda on behalf of the Poly's: liken their emergence to the struggle by gays and lesbians for equal rights Considering that these Poly's have been around for a lot longer than they are making out, it is a bit difficult for them to make a claim like this. Men having mistresses on the side have been around for millenium. The occassional powerful women in history having extra Boyfriends has been around as well, though not normally as socially acceptable as their male equivalents. Where as gays and lesbians have had to fight against a lot of predjudice and actually change laws in order to get acceptance and rights, I think the poly's trying to claim this sort of thing is just utter non-sense. In the past people were sacked from work, locked up in jail, killed, stoned etc for being gay or lesbian. The statement really cheapens the sort of thing the gay and lesbian community went through to acheive acceptance (and they are still going through it too). Considering that 'swingers' exist, and don't suffer great persecution, probably shows that society in general would actually be more tolerant to Poly's or at least treat them in the same category as swingers. I think the problem the poly's are having, is they are trying to distance themselves from 'swingers' where most people would categorise them. The 'polys' sound like they are trying to sound more moral than the swingers, where most people would not differentiate between their morality. Bennett-MacCubbin, who is in two serious gay relationships, says he has had to come out of the closet twice: first as a homosexual at 16 and three years later as polyamorous too. I find this example laughable - mainly as I know heaps of friends in Sydney who are gay, and the fact is, multiple relationships exactly like Bennett MacCubbin is describing have existed for years. In the gay community, this sort of thing would not be persecuted against. Most of my gay friends would say that as long as the conditions of the relationship were discussed straight up, there wouldn't be a problem with with being poly - swinger - monogamous or any other. Most people who don't understand the gay community wouldn't care if he was poly or not. After all, a lot of straight people think all gays are promiscuous anyway, so finding out one had more than one BF wouldn't make them bat an eye-lid. So it leaves me wondering what 'second closet' this guy thinks he is coming out of? It does result in complicated sexual and emotional patterns. Which is why I think most people would prefer to avoid this sort of lifestyle. Isn't this the entire arguement most monogamist would employ against poly relationships? It is monogamists, they say, who live in a fantasy land. Says who? Says them! No scientific basis! Pure opinion. I will offer up as a reference a show called 'Brain Sex' which was shown on SBS television in Aussie. Mainly, as I think it should still be a nice accessible reference for most people to get a copy of [DVD / Video]. (As opposed to heaps of scientific studies most of us can't access). The show went through a lot of scientific evidence regarding the state of normal human beings. Here are some things it found:

• Most women wanted monogamy
• Most man wanted more than one sexual partner in their lives
• Gay men behave like straight men (wanting more than one partner)
• Lesbians behave like straight women (wanting a monogamous relationship)

• In the sixties, the men tried to get women to behave like men - free sex etc. The result was disasterous.
• In the eighties, women tried to get men to behave more like women - Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAGs) etc - Same result.

Conclusion from the show, trying to get one sex to behave like the other just doesn't work. It seems to me, that the swingers in society are still trying to do the sixties thing. Maybe the Poly's are trying a compromise between the two - on the one hand, there are relationships there, so it is like the monogamy the female craves, while at the same time, there is more than one sexual partner, so there is the multiple partners the male craves. I think this arguement would probably work better for the poly's than the arguments they put forward themselves. It's possible it hasn't occurred to them, as they are really a group of people trying to justify what they are doing without any form of scientific back up. It might be true that they are unsure of why they are doing it themselves and are just trying to reason it out. The reasons scientists discovered that women want 'monogamy' is they want a man to hang around and help once the children are born. As such, having one male who is the father of the children gives them a security which is needed. Stability = good chance of survival for the children. Men, on the other hand, want to propergate their seeds as much as possible. Similar reason to the women's one - survival. Having multiple children to multiple women means that they get a mix of genes and more than one set of baskets for his eggs (so to speak). Greater diversion of genes = greater chance that one will survive to pass on the genes. They go on to talk about Trust and Jealousy. I have always felt that most relationships revolve around trust. It doesn't matter what sort of relationship you are in - mono, poly, swinger, straight, gay - it all comes down to trust. If you can't trust the one you are with, then why are you with them? Jealousy is a different issue. How often has a relationship broken up and one person can't let go? Even though it's over, they are still jealous of whoever is with their ex. Even my Ex, after our breakup said she would be extremely jealous if she ever found out I was with someone else. She felt that somehow she still owned me. I don't see jealousy as being any different regardless of the type of relationship. Some people are more jealous than others, and regardless of what sort of relationship they are in, they'll have to learn to control that emotion. I'll now talk a little about some people I met who were 'swingers' or maybe they consider themselves 'polyamorous'. My friend John used to work in the 'ahem' pr0n industry. He'd appeared in many movies himself and used to make movies. He asked me to appear in a few - mainly as he wanted me to bonk his 'ahem' girlfriend Amy and another friend we both mutally knew (Who will remain anonimous, as she is like me, a non pr0n industry worker). He told me that they don't just allow anyone into their 'ahem' thing. He and Amy normally have to both Okay anyone they both chose to bonk. I turned them down, as personally, I do prefer monogamy myself. I expect the same respect from the person I am with, as what they expect me to give. Basically, that means a one on one relationship between me and the girl ... though the polys feel that I am in 'fantasy land' to quote them, the fact is, THAT IS WHAT I WANT. Their 'fantasy land' bit is really just an emotional tool to try to get people to become like them. My friend John was very similar, trying to make me see that 'his way of life' was the 'correct way'. Eventually, I convinced him that he can live his life as he saw fit, but I had to live my life as I saw fit. Then, I'll throw another real life example up in the air - my father used to cheat on my mother all the time. He used to tell other women that my mother and him had an 'open relationship'. This wasn't true, it was just a line he used so that women who objected to sleeping with him because he was married, could fool themselves into thinking it was okay. I've actually met a lotof guys who use that line, and in everycase, the fact is, the wife/GF etc did not consider themselves in an 'open relationship'. The problems in this case, is the dishonesty on behalf of the men, NOT the type of relationship. I've met people like John and Amy who really did have an open relationship, and they had their ground rules established well and truly BEFORE the relationship started. My friend Iain is also a good example of this. He lives with his boyfriend Colin, and Iain laid down the ground rules - though they were both BF/BF, they were not restricted to each other. If Iain came home and found Colin in bed with another guy - good on him for scoring. If Colin came on and found Iain in bed with another guy - good on him for scoring. Both knew the rules, and that was how they lived. It's people like my father etc, who lie in order to fulfill their own selfish desires that are the ones with the real problems. They cheat, then they tell their partners that it was an accident or a moment of weakness etc and then they go out and do it again. That sort of thing just isn't on. Of course, I have seen another relationship, where a girl came to me as her BF was always cheating on her. The guy had actually been very forward about the fact that their relationship was going to be open. She agreed because she wanted to be with the guy. She beleived that somewhere along the way, her BF would see how much she loved him, that he would change and become monogamous. I told the girl to bring the issue up with her BF, as it was never going to change while she just complained about him behind his back (and really, what right did she have to complain. He'd told her straight out). As result, she told him, they broke up, then they got back together under the exact same circumstances. Fact - you can't change a guy, so don't start a relationship with one thinking you can change them to what you want. Personally, I think the girl needed to look at her self esteem a little and ask herself if the guy was worth it. If it was, then she needed to accept the relationship as is, otherwise, move on. Though I am sure (like 99% of the population) that I am capable of bonking a lot of people, I personally chose to be monogamous. Conclusion:

• I don't see these 'polys' as anything new which hasn't been around before. I think the main thing they are trying to do is differentiate themselves from the 'swingers' and justify themselves to the 'monogomists'.
• If everything is kept above board and transparent before a relationship starts, then people are free to do what they want provided it is all lawful. (Really they are, whether we believe in what they do or not).
• Don't lie in order to get into a relationship, if you want a poly relationship, or a swinger one, then lay the ground rules. If your partner doesn't agree, then you really should think about your relationship. If you can't agree on the relationship, then it isn't going to work.
• Monogamy isn't 'fantasyland', for a group of people who want acceptance for their way of life, they should probably accept that it's not everyones cup of tea. As such, they shouldn't be throwing stones at others, and then demanding that they be accepted.
• [And isn't that the problems with most groups people belong to. They demand equality and then put down all other groups].
• Don't enter a relationship you know you disagree with the groundrules for. You'll never change someone else to fit the image you want them to fit. They are individuals, NOT robots. [Though Robot BF/GF are just around the corner. Japan is still working on it!] :-)

This is NOT Chapter Eight. rofl

My friend Evan sent me this and it cracked me up. The e-mail was titled 'Yoga Indian Style Versus Yoga Irish Style.' In case you have touble reading what it says, here is the text: The ancient yogis used logs of wood, stones, and ropes to help them practice asanas effectively. Extending this principle, Yogacharya Iyengar invented props which allow asanas to be held easily and for a longer duration without strain. The Text Highlighted with the Red Circle: Yogacharya Iyengar in Setubandha Saravangasana This version of the posture requires considerable strength in the neck, shoulders and back, requiring years of practice to achieve. It should not be attempted without supervision.

Chapter Seven

The police dropped Akane off at home. Mai was still at the police station being charged. The item she stole wasn't the problem, Mai had a suspended sentence for previously receiving stolen property. The incident had happened three years before, but the suspended sentence could still come into affect. If she was found guilty of this minor shoplifting charge, the suspended sentence would land her in prison for six months. She had bought a large television from someone knowing full well it had been stolen. In fact, she even knew who the television had belonged to. She had been helpful enough with the prosecution to work out a deal. She had somehow kept it a secret from Akane and Naoki, but now, it might all come out. Akane let herself in the front door. She dried her crocodile tears and smiled to herself. She leaned against the door to shut it, and stood for a minute. Wait till Naoki hears about this, she thought. Though he had adopted her, she never thought of him as a father. She always thought of him as Naoki. Yet somewhere, there was a competition between her and her mother for his attention. Not his affection though. Akane had other fish to fry. There were other boys in the neighbourhood she wanted. One of them had been Slim. She was surprised that she was not more upset at his death. She was shocked, even saddened a little, but not upset. There were many boys from school she also liked. Then there was one of the male teachers. Aaron Martin-Boyle, the physical education teacher. He was less than ten years older than her, and what she considered her perfect man, at least within her fantasies that is. He was actually very popular amongst the young girls at the school. Akane and a lot of her friends would often talk and imagine what it would be like to be married to him. The fact that he was married didn't seem to phase them at all. Then, there were some other feelings she was trying to repress. First were the feelings she had for another girl at school. The feelings confused her, as she had never thought of herself and being either a lesbian nor bi-sexual. Second, there were the feelings she had for Bob. Bob was two years younger than her, and she really only got to know him through Slim. Somewhere in her head though, she would always think of him as just a boy. Yet, there was another part of her which liked the fact the fifteen year old had begun to fill out a little. She had seen him at the school swimming carnival and he was already developing a six pack stomach and his chest was getting bigger. She knew from talking to Slim that Bob had received a weight bench when he was about thirteen. At first, he did not use it, but after a while he realised that a good body would equal popularity with the girls. Bob often had girls from his own year chasing him. The fact that he never dated any of them had lead to the belief that he and Slim were somehow involved. Akane knew Slim was definitely straight. However, she was not going to let people know how she knew that. She never figured out how much Bob knew about it all. She stood in the lounge room for a while looking out at the street. Normally, at this time of day it would be full of teenagers skateboarding down the street. The steep slope made the street very popular. There were still one or two boarders, but since the accident a week ago, parents had either banned their children from Dead Man's Hill, or the kids just didn't go there any more. She hadn't seen Bob for that entire week. Rumour had it that he was just lying on his bed looking at the ceiling. He wasn't seeing anyone, wasn't eating much and wasn't talking much. Nothing could cheer him up. She had seen Jim a few times walking up and down the street with both his arms in plaster. For some reason he was visiting Mister Fisher almost everyday. Mark Fisher worked as a producer in the film industry, even at his ripe old age of seventy two. His position allowed him to have a constant flow of younger girlfriends, but it had not always been that way. Fourteen years earlier he had divorced his wife Rhonda. About twice a year he would be visited by his son Kenneth, and Kenneth's family. Rumour had it, his daughter Vicki was living in London. It did not mean much to Akane. All those people were old. Older than her parents by at least twenty years. As she was watching out the window, she noticed Jim walking up the street. He was obviously on the way home. Akane decided she wanted to talk to him. Maybe he could tell her something she could use at school. Some information that made it seem like she was in the loop of all the information. Something which made her seem important to her peers. She raced out the front door onto the front lawn of her house. 'Jimmy! Jimmy!' she called after him. Jim was a little confused. Though he knew Akane by sight, she had never talked to him before. Eddie and Jim had sat at the top of the street talking about her at times. So had a lot of admirers amongst the other skater guys. She was seventeen, and had a great body. She also liked to dress with short skirts and low tops. The thing which drives most normal males wild. Jim stopped and let her catch up. He had a plastic grocery bag of things in one of his hands. His arms were plastered and he had limited mobility. He was not even sure he was supposed to be carrying the things Mister Fisher had given him. 'Little Jimmy, let me help carry that home for you.' 'Why?' His brain went through a range of emotions. First was the fact he was flattered. The 'hot chick', as she was known at the top of Dead Man's Hill, had come and spoken to him. Then, he was suspicious. Why would the 'hot chick' speak to him? He was a virtual nobody in her world. He was not even sure how she knew his name, not that she got it right. Only his Grandmother called him 'Jimmy'. Why was she being nice? She had a reputation for being an egocentric bitch who never thought of anyone but herself. 'Just let me carry it for you,' she said. Akane could not think of one reason to explain her sudden wish to help. 'Look, I'm allowed to be nice aren't I?' This statement made Jim extremely suspicious. He had never heard of her being nice to anyone before. It did not take a second for the synapses to fire in Jim's brain and come to the correct conclusion. She was after information. Jim was caught between two emotions. One was the fact that this girl was somehow using him for her own gain. The other emotion told him to run with it. This was the sort of thing that made a guy look cooler than cool. Not only was he now friends with 'the hot chick', but he was friends with an older 'hot chick'. He came to the conclusion that there was some sort of trade off happening. She was using him for information, and he was using her to look cool. He made the mistake of thinking that he would look even cooler if he shared this information with her. 'Your just using me to find out about Eddie,' he said. It didn't come out the way he meant, and as soon as the words were out, he realised he virtually spat them at her, as if disgusted. 'Oh, My god!' she feigned her best shocked and hurt act that she could muster. 'I can't believe that you think I am that shallow.' Jim was taken back a little. He suddenly felt as though he had done the girl a great wrong. Not only had she misunderstood what he was meaning, but he had deeply hurt her. 'Um, it's not that,' Jim started. 'I mean, like. What I meant ...' 'Yes? What did you mean? I'm offering to help carry your bag home,and you're accusing me of ... well, accusing me of using you!' 'Um, no! No! I didn't mean it like that. I mean ... I'm sorry. I just meant that we can both get something.' 'What?' Akane had no idea what he was talking about now. She had feigned the hurt and shock to throw him off guard as he had obviously seen right through her. It did not really matter much that he was no longer making sense to her. 'Well,' continued Jim. 'You know, I tell you what you want to know about Eddie, and the other guys think I am cool because they see me with you.' 'I can see why they would think that. Sounds like you are the one using me!' She smiled as she said that. She had managed to reverse the actual situation. Now Jim would think that he was getting something, and she was just an innocent party trying to be a good Samaritan. It did not actually fool Jim. He knew that she was using him. He was more perplexed that somehow she had made it seem like it was the other way around. He decided to let it rest. If he pushed the envelope, she might walk off in a huff. Then everyone would think he was an idiot. After all, if the 'hot chick' decides to spend time with you, you do not brush her off. That would be stupid. You do not look a gift horse in the mouth. Akane took the bag and they walked up the hill. Jim didn't live on Forester Avenue. He lived around the corner on Pike Street. It wasn't too far to walk. They walked past a few of the skaters who were still using Dead Man's Hill. Jim noticed them noticing him, and it made him feel better. 'So, how are you feeling?' Akane asked, trying some small talk to loosen him up. 'Well, I'm really itchy. And the arms hurt still.' 'How did you manage to break both of them?' 'Old Man Fisher said it was because of the way I landed. I was sort of looking at Eddie and Slim and didn't see where I was going to hit.' 'Wow, that must have been nasty.' As the words came out, Akane grimaced slightly. It was more because the way she had said it sounded patronising. Jim missed it, and assumed the grimace was more empathy on her behalf. He began to loosen up to her charms, and as the walked on, he filled her in on Eddie's condition, and Bob. In return, Jim learned about Slim's funeral. Jim's parents had decided he could not go. They felt he was too young to understand what was happening. It left a void in Jim's life. Though he had seen the accident, he still had trouble reconciling that Slim was really gone. There had been no closer for him. He would have liked to have said, 'good bye' and heard others remember Slim. Slim was one of the few older kids that Jim thought was truly cool. He was both open to everyone, and yet at the same time could somehow remain a level above everyone. It was an accessible eliteness. They got to Jim's front lawn. 'I guess you'll be needing your bag,' Akane said, as she placed it back in one of his hands. 'Yeah! I guess so,' said Jim with a slight blush. Akane kissed him on the head and patted his hair where she'd kissed him, turned and started to walk away. Jim went to touch his head where she had kissed him, then realised his arm was still in plaster. He almost hit himself in the head. Akane turned as she walked, and seeing his hand in the air, thought he was waving. She smiled and waved back. 'Bye, Jimmy,' she called behind her. She had the information she needed, and she had little jimmy wrapped around her finger. As Jim turned to go inside, his heart sank a little. He felt a sudden guilt about feeling so good. Slim was dead, Eddie was, as far as he knew, still unconscious in hospital and here he was feeling good about a girl. He disliked himself for feeling so good, but a part of him couldn't help it. As he walked, he went to feel the top of his head again where she had kissed him. This time, he did hit himself in the head. He laughed at his own forgetfulness.

NaNoWriMo

Yes, it's true, I have now entered NaNoWriMo. All that spurring on by people etc, and I've caved in like a sponge cake with a size fifteen bowling ball as it's only decoration ... well, you knew I would. I hope you enjoy the novel ... well, Novella. I might try to make it go further than the 50,000 word count. I now have a very good idea where I am going with this novel and hope the twist at the end is worth it. (Oh Doggonit! Hope I didn't give it all away when I say they all get sat on by a giant pink elephant!!! Waaahhh! oh no, now I really HAVE given it away). Anyway, I'll step up the word count a little - mainly as I hav a business to run and a mother to look after ... I'll try to get some nice photo's of some of the things I plan to cook for my mother after we get her back from the hospital. Someone has to cook for my mother while she's bed ridden for a month, and I sure as hell ain't letting my youngest brother poison her with his burnt fish recipe. How to make my brother's burnt fish:

• Take a frozen crumbed fish out of the freezer.
• Place it in a frypan.
• Place frypan on the stove.
• Turn heat up to full power.
• Go watch TV.
• Return when you smell something burning!
• Wonder why it's burnt!

Chapter Six

Doctor Huisman sat looking at the watch in his hands. It made him very sad. He felt like crying. It was a small watch with Mickey Mouse on the face and a pink wristband. He played with it in his fingers, turning it over and over. He sighed and stared at it for a solid thirty seconds. Then he opened his top draw and placed the watch gently down in the draw. He looked at it for a good ten seconds, sighed, and shut the draw. He sat back in his chair and looked over at the clock on the far wall. He sat staring at the clock for a minute. He counted the seconds in his mind to make sure it was a full sixty seconds. He reached for the draw again, but stopped. He was in two minds about whether to open it again or not. He started to pull his hand away from the draw, then suddenly locked it. He grabbed a file from his in tray and opened it on his desk. He stared at it and then held his head in his hands. Why? Why? He thought to himself. He unlocked the draw and opened it. He stared at the watch! Mickey Mouse on the face looked up at him. Mickeys second hand moved across the face. He sighed, picked up a pen and looked for something to write in the file he was reading. Who's file was this? Edmond McCarty's! The kid who had been hit by a llama. He looked. He read. He couldn't do this. He threw the pen down and sat back. He stared at the clock again. Then he looked down at the watch, slammed the draw and locked it. He roughly closed the folder and slammed it back in his in tray. He decided he needed more coffee. As he stood up, he grabbed a mug off the desk, but miss timed his movement. The mug crashed to the floor shattering. It wasn't even his mug. It was someone else's. 'Argh! Hansen, you are an idiot!' he said to himself. He picked up a piece of paper off his desk and scraped most of the shattered pieces into it. A small shard penetrated one of his fingers. He pulled back in pain, and pulled the piece out. His finger was bleeding. He began sucking on the finger, and threw the paper with the shattered mug into the bin next to his desk. He went to the kitchen, which was near the nurses station for that floor. One of the nurses Jane was already in the kitchen. 'Oh, Doctor Houseman, have you seen my mug?' Jane asked as he entered. 'It's Huisman,' Hansen replied. 'Sorry?' 'Huisman. Not Houseman. It's Dutch.' 'Oh, sorry. Huisman. You haven't seen a yellow mug around here have you? It has Garfield on it.' 'I'm afraid I accidentally broke that one earlier. Sorry. I will buy you another one.' Jane looked hurt. It was her favourite mug. 'It's Okay,' she said. 'I can afford another one.' 'No, I insist. I broke it, I should replace it.' Jane half smiled. There was something strange about Hansen Huisman, but she also saw something else in him. Something more than the Doctor's wallet that guaranteed a comfortable life in the future. Something more than the esteem of being married to a Doctor. There was a genuine caring nature. A nature that wasn't always present with many who entered the medical professions now. She stroked her hair, unaware that she was doing it. 'So, you seem to be working back a little late.' Hansen was making his coffee and was unaware of the way Jane was looking at him. In fact, she was unaware of the body language she was sending as well. 'I'm sorry, what?' 'You're working late, aren't you?' 'Oh, yes. Yes, I am,' he hesitated unsure whether he should tell Jane. 'There was this girl. Earlier today.' He stopped himself. Surely Jane wouldn't care. There were always patients. Always people suffering. It came with the job. 'And?' Jane asked. She could see his caring side was coming out even more. This man would make a great father. He seemed to live to help others. 'It's not important,' he said quickly. She reached over and touched his hand. 'You can tell me,' she said. 'It's not important,' he repeated. He gave her an embarrassed smile and left with his coffee. He was part way down the corridor when Jane called to him, 'Oh, Doctor! I forgot to mention, the patient in room six is awake.' 'Edmond?' 'Yes, that's the one.' 'Okay, I'll have a look in on him.'

Chapter Five

Edmond awoke. He was now alone in his hospital bed. He could feel the evil presence somewhere nearby. It somehow permeated the room and his very essence. Then they entered. The door to his room didn't even open. The demon just walked straight in. The second stopped just inside the door and Eddie saw it look through the door to check the corridor. The first demon stood at the end of the bed. 'I want it!' Eddie freaked inside. What did it want? What was it after? 'I know you have it!' 'I don't have it,' Eddie said. 'I don't even know what it is!' 'If you don't know what it is, then how do you know you don't have it?' the demon asked. 'I don't have anything. I'm just a kid!' he screamed. The demon unsheathed a large knife. It was about ten inches long. The demon held it near his own eyes and rotated it, looking at the sharp edge. He stopped rotating it and looked menacingly at Eddie. 'I don't have it!' Eddie screamed! The door opened and a nurse ran in. The demons faded too fast for the nurse to see them. 'What is it?' the nurse asked. She was puzzled by his sudden screams and had been just outside the door when he had screamed. 'The demons! The demons! They were going to cut me open!' The nurse sighed in relieved. 'You've had a bad nightmare,' she said. 'It often happens after people have been in accidents.' 'It wasn't a dream! They were here!' She just smiled at him and straighten the bed clothes a little. She checked his drip to make sure it was Okay, and made some notes on the clip board. I know I was awake. Eddie thought. I was awake, I know I was! This wasn't a dream. The nurse finished writing, gave him a knowing smile and left the room. Eddie laid back on the bed. Within seven seconds he was asleep again. 'That was a close one Eddie,' said a voice from out of nowhere. 'Wha?' Eddie didn't have time to finish what he was going to say. He suddenly remembered where he was. He was on the road. To the left was a cliff which fell into the sea. To his right was a steep slope which fell away to a river. Up ahead was the bridge. The river curved under the bridge and connected to the sea. It had a very small delta, but the delta was deep and allowed easy access to the boats of dream. The bridge was stone, high and had many large arches. There was a stone gatehouse at the beginning of the bridge, but it was always left unmanned. The whole place had a silver glow, normal daylight seemed more yellow by comparison. It was like permanent twilight, but somehow lighter, and still easy enough to see everything. 'We have to move quickly before they find you outside the city,' said the voice again. 'Do I need to run?' 'No Eddie, just move quickly. Make it to the gatehouse before they know you are here.' 'How will they know I am here? Where are they?' 'Just walk fast Eddie. Don't run, it'll attract their attention. Just walk quickly.' 'Where are they?' 'Just walk Eddie. Just walk.' 'Where are you? I can't see you.' The voice had gone. Who was it? Every time he was here the voice would help him, but he had no idea who it was. Eddie looked over the side of the cliff to the water below. There was a silver glow coming off it, but the sky had no visible light source. There was no moon, there was no sun. Still, the water could be seen clearly because of the silver reflections off the top of the waves. 'I thought I told you to walk! They will be upon us soon. Walk! Walk fast!' The voice startled him. Eddie immediately started to walk while still looking down mesmerised by the waves below. 'I'm walking!' 'Stop looking at the sea. There is nothing for you down there.' Somehow Eddie didn't believe him. For some reason, he felt the water lay somewhere in his future. Something important was going to happen, and it involved water of some kind. Dreams worked like that for Eddie. He always knew they worked that way. When he is asleep, he can see the future, and images would come to him to help him. The gatehouse was a little in front of him. As he approached it, he saw a quick glimmer. Not a shadow like a normal shadow, but one which moved silver across the gatehouse. Someone was there. 'Eddie, stop! They can't see you if you stop!' Eddie froze on the spot. Before him at the gatehouse, the two demons appeared. They stood there looking straight through him. Then they moved. Slowly they walked towards him. Eddie dare not move. About two metres away from him, the first demon drew the long knife. In one move the demon stepped up to Eddie and sliced him from the lower stomach to his chest. Eddie didn't feel a thing, but fell flat on his back. The two demons fell on him, ripping at him. Tearing the front of his body apart. Still, Eddie did not feel a thing! 'It's not here!' said the first demon. 'He's hidden it somewhere.' 'I thought you wouldn't see me if I stood still,' said Eddie. The first demon gave him an incredulous look, as though it was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard. 'Who told you that?' 'I don't know. The voice.' 'He can hear the voice,' said the second demon. 'Shut up, Moku,' said the first one. 'Let's throw him over the side.' The two demons picked Eddie up and threw him over the side of the cliff. Eddie fell, spiralling. With his stomach ripped open the way it was, he had little way of controlling his fall. 'Why did you tell them about me Eddie?' the voice asked. Before Eddie could answer, he hit the water.

WINNER!!!!

My University site is probably going to disappear very soooon! Mainly as I dropped out of my University studies earlier this year and the page will probably be reset very soon. I just thought I'd advertise it, as it has a photo of the Fat Boy himself (aka Dabido ... aka Me!), as well as some of my art work (watchout! Contains Nudes!!! Well, that'll at least get the guy sgoing there!) My Webpage Last night the Gosnells PCYC held their annual Quiz night, which I decided to attend. I'm glad I went ... because I WON!!! WOO HOO! They sat me at the table with the Gymnasts! They consisted of six other people who were half my age. Dean, Shannon, Rebecca, Chloe, Tara and Mel. There were ten rounds, and we were equal first for the first two or three rounds. THEN, we suddenly ran ahead. Shannon and Chloe entered a lot of raffles, and I think we can honestly say that our table won the most prizes. We didn't win anything in the auctions though. Chloe won a cruise for two as well as a BOTTLE OF BAILEYS!!! All proceeds went to help the PCYC, as it costs about $100,000 a year (or more) to run. I had a photo taken on my camera of the team, but for some reason it isn't on the camera now!!!! Plus I took a photo of our first prize, which was a washing basket with six wines, six chocolate boxes, twelve boxes of savory biskets, six other nibbly things, six boxes of chocolate waffer tube thingies, six shower gels. As there were seven of us, we had to seperate it all. I took a photo of the basket too, but it TOO DIDN'T COME OUT!!! I need a new camera!!!! Anyway, I suggested that the next news letter be called 'Gymnasts are Smart', but no one liked that idea! lol Rebecca kept saying that they would have come last if it wasn't for me, and i kept emphasizingn that it was team work. After all, we only won by two points ... table seven made a come back and our impressive lead was slowly eroded away. Round Five was a great round and we got all ten questions correct. Highlight of the night was when Shannon (who is heavily pregnant) won tickets to go ROLLERBLADING! lol Question Highlight was when they asked what 'The Dome of the Kangaroo Man and Pillar of the Lizard Women were part of?' The quizz master calimed anyone getting the correct answer deserved a prize of their own. I guessed the Olgas. I was correct! Don't you hate ppl like me???? rofl. Anyway, after the quiz night, I helped the Gym guys set up for their Gym Competitions in the Gym Hall. They were doing the competition today. Actually, I was a little embarassed when I knew the answer 'Mills and Boon' to a question regarding the Book Company who uses a Rose for their emblem! How totally GAY of me! Waaah! Anyway, even though I am allergic to chocolate, i think i am about to go eat one NOW! lol

Quick Note

READ THIS VERY VERY FAST!!!

Oooo - quick note. Story should be easy reading so far. I don't think I've written anything that someone over the age of eleven years would have difficulty with. I ran the first chapter past my younger brother to ensure it was pretty easy, and flowed etc. He seemed happy. Anyway, a few people have asked about me entering NaNoWriMo ... don't know why, but I thought it was a Malaysian National contest ... probably because I only heard about it from Malaysian sites and it is a NATIONAL writing contest ... so I assumed Malaysian. BAKA DABIDO!!! What do they say about assuming? No time to tell me, lets get going!!! I also was sure I read on someones site that it was already past the cut off date to register, but reading the NaNoWriMo website is says that it doesn't finish till Novemeber the 25th. So, there is a possibility that I might join. Only, I'm not sure if I should continue with this novel (which is about to turn into a horror flick ... I mean B-Grade Horror flick ... well, maybe not!) Anyway, I'm asking for some reader feedback concerning this. Novel ONE - Edmond McCarty's Accident is basically, well ... something fun i started because i wanted to check out my Novel Writing Software. I've had some stuff happen because ... well the software told me to make it happen (and if I stick it through one of the Text Reading programs, I can honestly say 'The voices told me to do it' wooooooo!) I know a lot of people have wandered here based on my more ... um ... unusual style of writings (aka what I had on Totoro's site and Minishorts site ... and well, the usual stuff [crap] I write here). So, let's have a quick vote. Those who think I need to start one of my more comedic works as an entry to NaNoWriMo please say so, and those who would like to find out what happens next in the Edmond novel please raise your hand ... um, better comment instead I can't see your hands!!! :-) Those who think I should forget the novels and NaNoWriMo and continue with my list (oooo Alien Abduction Saga part III ... wooOOOooOooo Spookie!!!), then please comment. In the case of a tie, I'll have a nervous break down. :-) So, give me some idea as to WHAT the majority of you would like to see me write and if you beleive it is worthy of NaNoWriMo entry. As the Edmond thing was only started like ... two days ago, it certainly qualifies as being started in November. Any new novel would also qualify. QUICK QUICK VOTE. And tell me I'm sexy ... oh, better not, might distract me from my writing duties. Anyway, the Edmond thing is now at 4531 words, so only 45469 to go .. but who's counting ... oh right, NaNoWriMo is!!! Darn!!! Anyway, I'll have to step the whole thing up a little if I want to make the deadline. So VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE - get your friends to vote ... tell your neighbours ... send me money ... okay, i added that bit out of pure hope of making a million. I really am the son of the Nigerian President .. send me your money ... oh wait, we were talking about writing not spaming! Darn!!! I hope you all read that as fast as I typed it ... wahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

Chapter Four

WARNING - Contains some sexual imagery which may not be suitable for some people. I give it a 15+ rating ... or maybe I'm over reacting! Naoki could not stand the thought of going home. He had no idea what Mai had planned for him that night, but he knew it would revolve around her ego. On top of that, Akane would also be competing for attention. Akane was so much like her mother in too many ways. She was not Naoki's daughter, but was twelve at the time Naoki and Mai got married. Naoki adopted Akane. Even Mai was unsure as to the identity of Akane's real father. It didn't matter. He was somewhere back in Japan and they were not. Naoki was driving his Lexus and was approaching an intersection. If he chose to go straight ahead, he would go home to Mai and Akane. If he turned right, he would go to Moe Simizu's house. Moe had the unusual distinction of being from Japanese heritage, but had a middle name, Yui. Not many Japanese used middle names. In fact, Naoki could not remember one single person he had know in Japan who had one. Moe Yui Simizu, was actually Naoki's manager. She was the Managing Director of Yamashita Global Pharmacy Corporations Asian Pacific Office. It was an unusual position for a female to hold so high up in the organisation. Somehow, his life was dominated by women. Moe was actually the same age as Mai. They were both thirty four years old. Both, also had teenage daughters born out of wedlock. Moes daughter was Kaede. Somehow, Naoki thought he had somehow married the wrong woman. Both Moe and Kaede had beautiful natures, and were not the extroverted exhibitionists his own wife and step-daughter were. In life, he felt he had made the mistake of going straight ahead instead of turning right. Tonight, he wasn't going to make that mistake. He pressed the button on his hands free car phone. 'Moshi moshi,' said the voice at the other end of the telephone. 'Ah, moshi moshi Kaede chan,' Naoki said. 'Is your mother home yet?' 'Oh, Uncle Naoki san. No, she will be home soon. She was just picking up a loaf of bread at the markets.' 'Okay. I will be there soon. Mata ne.' 'Bye bye.' Naoki contemplated phoning home. He looked down at the phone, then at the road. Then, back to the phone. He sighed and decided to phone, even though he believed it would mean having to talk to Mai. If he was lucky, he would get Akane, and she might be in her indifferent mood. He pressed the button. Somehow, he was in luck. The answering machine played and he left a message to say he would be working late. He was soon at Moe's house and pulled into the driveway parking far enough to the right to allow Moe past to her garage if she had not arrived home yet. He got out of the car, put his suit jacket on and straightened his tie. He did a quick grooming of his hair and pressed the key to lock his door. He walked to the front door and flattened his trousers and jacket as he went. He stopped, and hesitated. Then he pressed the doorbell. Kaede answered the door and seemed genuinely happy to see him. It was a marked contrast to the cold reception he normally received in his own house. Kaede was practically jumping up and down with youthful excitement. 'Uncle Naoki!' She almost squealed the words. 'Kaede chan,' he said and bowed slightly to her. She stopped her youthful bounce in order to give a deep respectful bow. 'Come in Uncle Naoki,' she said opening the door wider to allow him past. As he moved past her, she shifted slightly forward brushing her breasts against his arm. It did not go unnoticed by him. Did this girl not know that he was in a relationship with her mother? Of course she did. How could it be hidden from her? She must have known what was going on. Kaede shut the door behind them and used one hand to beckon Naoki through to the front room. It was practically the same routine whenever he arrived. 'Would you like a drink, Uncle Naoki?' Naoki was slightly startled by this. Normally Moe offered him a drink and did the pouring. 'Eh? Oh, hai!' He responded with a question in his mind. 'Scotch and coke? Or sake tonight?' 'How long till your mother arrives home?' There, he asked it. The question was no longer in his mind. Surely Moe would not allow Kaede anywhere near the liquor cabinet. Or maybe there was much even he did not know. 'She phoned again. She's had to go back to work, but she asked that I make sure you are Okay while you wait.' Waiting at Moe's was going to be more fun than having to put up with Mai. It didn't matter how long Moe would be, he'd rather wait than go home. He sat down at the table opposite the television. It was his usual place. Kaede returned with both a bottle of scotch and coke, and a bottle of sake. She placed both on the table. She then fetched a glass for the scotch and flat cup for the sake. More questions formed in Naoki's mind. Kaede picked up the remote control for the television. 'Now, what would we like to watch?' she asked. She flicked the remote. Moe had pay tee vee, and it was already set to the Japanese channel. Naoki grunted something which Kaede took as approval. Kaede indicated the drinks before him with one hand and raised her eyebrows. Naoki picked up the scotch and coke. Kaede held the glass for him to pour it into. He looked at her in the eyes and gave the best disapproving look he could. She was unperturbed. He held her gaze. Was she that stupid. He didn't want her helping pour his drink. There were a few awkward seconds and Kaede relented and put the glass down. She disappeared to her bedroom. He poured himself the drink. Naoki sat watching the NHK [Japanese] news. He occasionally sipped on his scotch and coke. He was wondering how long Moe was going to be. Kaede returned, she had got changed into a thin summer dress. She sat down at the table opposite him and crossed her legs in a way which revealed her white cotton underpants. She lent forward slightly. 'Would you like me to get you anything else?' Kaede asked. 'Eh?' 'Anything else, Uncle Naoki?' She raised an eyebrow. Naoki had some strange thoughts go through his head. This seventeen year old girl was trying to seduce him. Surely she should be out dating boys more her own age. He had enough problems in his life already. He had a wife, a mistress, and now if he was willing, an even younger mistress half his age. Even though he didn't hide the fact he had a mistress from Mai and Akane, how would he hide this. This was his mistress daughter! She was always present when he was with his mistress and would have to be kept in the wings. Or maybe she was just after a one night stand to see what a man was like. 'What do you want, Kaede?' 'What do you think? 'I think you should be out being chased by boys your own age.' 'What do you mean?' Kaede asked, as innocently as she possibly could, adding a slight pout at the end. 'I think you are trying to seduce me behind your mother's back! What good can come from it? How would either of us be able to look your mother in the eye knowing what we've been up to?' 'How do you look your wife in the eye when you go home to her?' 'Eh? That's different!' 'No, it's not! It's exactly the same. You cheat on one woman, you cheat on them all. I'm no tasking you to be faithful to me. How can I when I know you have two other women?' 'This is a terrible thing you want! I can't do it?' 'Of course you can. Don't you find me attractive?' and as she said this, she moved slightly, crossed her arms and started to lift her dress. 'You do like young girls don't you?' In one move, she had her dress above her head. She removed one of her arms from the dress and looked at him. Then, she flung the dress to one side. She slowly crawled across the table, allowing Naoki to see straight down her cleavage. There was a moment of panic in Naoki. 'But, your mother is due home any minute!' 'No, she isn't Uncle Naoki. She has a meeting. A directors meeting. You knew that! Why else did you come here?' Deep inside himself he suddenly remembered. Of course. Moe was at the directors meeting. How could he have forgotten? She was going to be a few hours. He was so lost in thought, that he hadn't noticed Kaede had undone his tie and was unbuttoning his shirt. 'I have to go!' he exclaimed standing up. Kaede grabbed his belt and pulled him back down. He knew it was wrong, but he found he had no will power. He was going to give in. He knew he would. The world was about to change.

Chapter Three

Mai Yamazaki lived on Forester Avenue. She was the sort of person who would do anything to attract attention to herself. On the day of the terrible accident, she phoned almost everyone she knew telling them how traumatised she was over the whole thing. Deep down inside, she was actually gleeful that such a thing had occurred so close to her home. It gave her another excuse to draw attention to herself. Her husband Naoki usually avoider her now. He had got sick of her. When he had first me her, she had seemed exciting. Always on the go. Always having something to do. Now he realised that most of it was her self publicising marketing machine. She seldom finished anything she set out to do, and he wondered how she had even got into the position she worked in. She was a high paid air traffic controller. Naoki was paid slightly less, and resented the fact that his wife earned more than him. She would often use it as an excuse to try to lord it over him, or would bring it up at dinner parties to shame him. Today, Mai was trying to find another reason for people to notice her. She was in a pet store with her daughter Akane. They were mainly browsing, when she spotted an ugly looking stick insect. 'Minikui!' Mai said to Akane. 'What?' replied Akane. Akane could actually speak Japanese extremely well, but always liked to pretend she could not understand her mother. It was a sort of game they played. Mai would speak in Japanese every chance she could get. She would pretend she did not know the English equivalent. Akane would pretend she could not understand the Japanese. Then, Mai would in turn, pretend she did not understand Akane's English. Between them both, they had a nice game which made them both the centre of attention for a while. People would bemusedly pretend not to notice. Akane and Mai noticed though. Everyone was secretly listening to the stupid Japanese lady who had not learnt English and her stupid daughter who knew English, but could not speak Japanese. The fact it was negative attention did not bother either of them in the slightest. It was all attention, and attention was all that they wanted. 'Minikui. How you say ... ung,' said Mai confidently. 'Ung? What the hell is ung?' replied Akane testily. 'Ung isn't a word. It's a sound. Are you trying to say something?' 'Oh, please. Do not be so rude. It's ung. Not good to look at. You know.' 'No, I don't know. If I bloody knew what the hell you were saying, I wouldn't have to ask would I!' The pet shop owner sensing trouble decided he had to stop this before it got out of hand. The disturbance, as far as he knew, was going to drive away the other customers. Little did he know that they were all hungrily awaiting more from the two ladies. 'Can I help you ladies?' He quickly asked. 'Yes, what is this thing?' Asked Mai. 'It's an exotic stick insect. Called an heteroptryx dilatata,' he said the Latin name slowly, as though he was not sure he knew how to pronounce it correctly. 'It's from Malaysia. They call it, the Malaysian jungle nymph.' 'Malaysian jungle nymph?' Mai asked as though it was the strangest word she had ever heard. 'Yes, it's very exotic in this part of the world. It's worth a fair whack to the bank balance. I've only got this one left.' Akane rolled her eyes as though the stick insect was the stupidest thing she had ever seen. 'How much for this thing?' Mai asked. 'The jungle nymph? Oh, its four thousand dollars!' 'Eh!' Mai exclaimed in shock. 'That is one months salary! Surely ugly insect cannot cost so much?' 'Oh, before you called it "ung". Now that you know the price you suddenly remember the words "ugly". That's so lame,' chided Akane. 'Hey, I only just remember the word. Ung and ugly are so similar.' 'Yeah, right,' Akane turned away as if disgusted by her mother. 'Don't worry about my daughter,' Mai said to the shopkeeper. 'She only thinks about herself.' 'Oh, really,' said Akane, and stormed off in a huff mumbling curses under her breath. 'I will take this ugly creature,' said Mai. 'It looks very omoshiroi, um, interesting.' 'Oh, it certainly is,' said the shop keeper. His eyes lit up as he realised how much he had taken Mai for. Mai of course did not care. She had read the sign and knew it was considerably less than what she was paying. For the attention it would bring her when she announced to everyone how much she had been conned though, it was worth it. In the meantime, Akane had picked up a small expensive bottle at the back of the store. She read the label, and it was a solution used to discourage animals chewing on their own fur. It had a security tag attached and was small enough for her purpose. She knew she could drop it into her mother's handbag without her mother noticing. She walked to the front of the store and stood beside her mother. While her mother and the shop keeper were busy making the transaction, she slipped it into the handbag. 'Mum, I'll meet you in front of the fashion boutique,' Akane said. She walked out the store and went to position herself in a good location to watch the drama play out. As she watched her mother exit the store, the security alarm sounded. Akane watched as her mother was brought back into the store and the pet shop owner made her empty her handbag. The mall security guards raced to the scene. Soon her mother was being lead away to the mall Centre Management office to explain how the solution got into her handbag. Akane knew her mother would know she had stuck it in there, but she simply did not care. It was all fun.

Chapter Two

Eddie awoke with a start. He was frightened. He did not know where he was. There were strange machines and the room was totally different to anywhere he had been before. There was a tube hanging out of his arm, but he dare not touch it. He also knew something he could not divulge to anyone. He had been to the Nacropolis. The city of the sleeping. His brain took a little while to adjust to the fact that it had not been here before. When it caught up, he rationalised he was in a hospital room somewhere. What had happened? How long had passed since his accident? The accident! Now it was all coming back to him. They had been downhilling as fast as they could. He was catching up to Slim. Then it was too late to stop. The truck had been coming up Disraeli Drive faster than they could react. The driver reacted though. A Mister Lombardi. How did he know the drivers name? The driver, he was lying in another wing of the hospital in a coma even as he thought about it. Slim! Poor Slim. Eddie had seen the demons carry Slim away. What had Slim done to deserve that? Slim was dead and gone. Then there was the Nacropolis. A city of the sleeping. Mister Lombardi was there now. Lying in sleep in the Nacropolis. Yet, Eddie had been there, and he had been awake. Awake in the Nacopolis. Who stays awake in the Nacropolis? It is where the souls of the sleeping rest. Where the soul makes account for it's actions of the day. It is where the angel and demons fight for the souls of the living. Eddie fell asleep again. When he awoke, his parents were beside his bed. Only now, his eyes were able to move, but he could not move a muscle on his body. What was happening? Why was he unable to move his body? 'Eddie? Eddie?' His mother was trying to get his attention. She had realised he had awoken. Eddies eyes darted back and forth, but he was unable to move a single part of his body other than his eyes. 'Eddie? Ralph, come quickly! No, get a nurse.' Eddies father had started to come to Eddies side, but followed his wife's advice and ran to get a nurse, calling down the corridor for any available. 'Eddie,' his mother continued. 'Are you alright? Can you hear me Eddie?' Eddie could only move his eyes back and forth. All he could think of was that he was paralysed. He would never walk again. Never move his arms again. Never skateboard again. Then in a sudden jolt, he suddenly found himself able to move. 'Mum!' He exclaimed! 'Mum, I was so scared!' Tears flowed freely down his cheeks and his mother started to cry as well. 'Eddie, it's Okay. You're alright now!' His father was at the doorway and was beckoning to a nurse further down the corridor to come quickly. 'Mum, I hurt all over.' 'I know Eddie. You've broken almost every bone in your body, but you're alright. You're going to be fine.' She so desperately wanted to hold him and hug him, but she knew that she could not. That single act of love could hurt him more than she would ever wish upon her son. 'Mum, how's Jim?' 'Jim's fine dear. He's broken both his arms, but he'll be Okay. He was lucky Mister Fisher was there to help him.' 'Slim's dead mum.' 'Slim? The other boy? You mean Rodney?' 'I don't know. I only know him as Slim. He was in front of me when the truck crashed.' 'Yes, Slim is dead dear. But don't worry about him. You're alive and we have to worry about you.' 'I know. I'll be Okay mum. You'll see.'

Edmond McCarty's Accident - Chapter One - Eddie's Accident

As you know, I've been mucking about with some Novel writing software, and I'm seeing how useful it is in organising my thoughts and being able to quickly reference ideas I've been playing with. This story I feel is going to be more 'quirky' than funny, so please bear with it as I sort it out. As I haven't decided on themes, morals or even subplots yet, but I figure a lot of the subplotting is already in the ideas the software has come up with. This took about half an hour to write, so isn't bad considering it comes to three double spaced pages, which is almost a proper days work for a writer. lol Oh, I didn't use the Dragon Naturally Speaking Software either, else it might have taken considerably less time. lol I actually have a sore throat from spending a lot of the day training the software to recognise my words. lol Oh well, without further adeiu, here is Edmond McCarty's Accident:

Chapter One

It was a late afternoon, and Jim and Eddie were sitting at the top of dead man's hill. Dead man's hill was a steep hill with a slope of thirty five degrees where most of the local skater kids liked to hang out. At the bottom of dead man's hill there was the tee junction with a vacant block directly opposite the road. The vacant block had many shrubs and bushes. Often Jim and Eddie would skate down the hill and flying across the tee junction and would do somersaults into the bushes. Of course, most of the skater kids would do similar things, but Eddie and Jim felt they were the best at it for no better reason than they were twelve and as such indestructible. The sun hung lazily in the sky as it slowly turned a darker shade of orange and drifted towards a long nights sleep behind the distant hills. The sky turned various shades of purple and red and some clouds drifted lazily in front of the sun. Somewhere in the distance, a lone truck carrying llamas to the local zoo was making its way around the bends of the local hills. It was making its way up Disraeli Drive towards the very intersection that joined onto dead man's hill. The street dead man's hill was on was called Forester Avenue. Most of the other skaters had gone home for dinner or to watch some television. There were only four of them left, Jim, Eddie, some kid named Bob and an older kid they only knew as Slim. Bob and Slim went to the local high school, and though Slim was at least two years older than Bob, they managed to hang out together outside of school. It was rumored that they might be gay, which caused all sorts of problems for them. Eddie did not think Slim could possibly be gay, as he was too manly and did not act effeminate at all. Bob on the other hand had some mystique about him which Eddie could not put his finger on, but it certainly seemed queer. Eddie and Jim were talking about school while sitting on their boards by the side of the road. Eddie was playing with the dirt which had accumulated in the gutter. Jim was talking about some girl named Stephanie whom he had a crush on. They did not notice Slim walk up behind them with Bob, so they were startled when he suddenly spoke. 'I bet you guys can't follow Bob and me down the hill,' Slim said. 'What?' replied Jim half leaping out of his skin. 'Of course we can.' 'Not with the way I have it planned,' continued Slim. 'We head down the hill, do a jump off Old Lady Yamazaki's driveway. Head across the road, over the Nixon's rubbish bin. Onto the footpath and a railslide across the metal railing by the side of the park. Across the road again, off the Lee's drive way and then full bore downhill. Across the road and if you can leap further into bushes than I get, then I'll buy you an ice cream.' 'What if we don't make it as far as you?' Asked Jim. 'Nothing. Not a thing,' said Slim as he leap on his board and headed down the hill. Bob leapt onto his board and followed. Eddie and Jim looked at each other and shrugged. Bob and Slim were taking it easy waiting to see if Eddie and Jim had taken the challenge. They did! Slim smiled to himself and started to push himself faster. All four of them were skateboarding down the road towards the Yamazaki's drive. The Yamazaki's lived a quarter of the way down the hill. Urbano Lombardi was driving his Kenworth up Disraeli Drive. In the back were several llamas in an open topped trailer. He was running a little late, and decided to put his foot down a little. He was going well over the sixty kilometre limit for the area, but he did not want to get to the zoo too late, as they would dock him some pay. He needed the money to pay for his wife, Giovannina's operation. Down the hill they went, Slim, followed by Bob, then Eddie then Jim. Slim did the leap off the drive and one eightied the board around to ride it backwards down the hill. It was called 'going fakie,' and Slim considered himself a bit of an expert at 'going fakie downhill'. He was doing it now to make sure the other guys made the jump. Bob caught a little bit of air off the drive, and Eddie ollied it. Jim took Eddie's lead and also ollied it. Slim went fakie up the Nixon's drive, over the rubbish bin, which Slim had pushed onto it's side earlier that day, and onto the footpath. Bob followed narrowly missing the Nixon's letterbox. Eddie and Jim followed with Eddie trying to do a shoveit, but chickening out just in time not to slam it into the ground. All four did the railslide at the park easily and Slim accelerated across the road. He had flipped the board and did a one eighty off the rails to set himself going forward again. He did a quick turn to leap off the Lee's curb easily. Bob was not so lucky and ended up landing on the Lee's flowerbed and hitting a pink flamingo statue they kept there. Eddie and Jim made the turn and were soon downhilling after Slim as fast as they could. They needed to make up as much speed to throw themselves into the bush as far as they could. They also needed to make sure they found a good bush to land on, otherwise they might land on dirt or hard ground. Normally the ground was soft anyway, as the water from the hill had a habit of running into that block of land. This kept the ground nice and moist, but occasionally, if it had not rained for a while, the ground was considerably hard when landing on it. Slim had picked up considerable speed, and was beginning to cross the tee junction when Urbano and his Kenworth were almost upon him. Urbano's quick reactions caused him to swerve right, but the Kenworth was almost instantly off the road and the whole thing flipped onto it's side catapulting the six llamas across the road. One of the llamas hit Slim killing them both instantly. Another llama hit Eddie sprawling them across the road. Jim, being slightly behind Eddie and Slim, slammed himself into the curb and flung himself across the lawn of old man Fisher. He landed awkwardly and broke both his arms. The noise of the semi-trailer going over scared almost everyone in the neighbourhood and everyone rushed out of their homes to see what had happened. Mark Fisher was one of the first ones out, and immediately phoned for an ambulance. He raced over to help Jim, who was the nearest of the injured boys. Urbano lay unconscious in his Kenworth. A metal stake used to hold up trees had hit him in the head and he was bleeding seriously. Eddie lay in the middle of the road. The llama which had hit him tried to stand up, but was in considerable difficulty. It's front two legs were broken and it was completely dazed. The other five llamas were definitely dead. Eddie's llama was only alive as Eddie had absorbed some of the impact of the crash. Bob stood at the front of the Lee's standing next to Lillian and Kevin. He was in considerable shock and tears welled up in his eyes. Slim could not be seen and Bob did not know at this time that Slim was dead. He only knew that Slim had been hit and was lying somewhere on the vacant block. Bob did not know at this time that Slim was dead. He only knew that Slim had been hit and was lying somewhere on the vacant block.

Darn Fell Asleep Writing a Non-Sense Novel

I decided to try my new Sony Vaio Laptop with some Novel Writing Software I'd bought. It was late, so I took it to my bedroom to use in bed (and many famous writers have written from bed. Proust comes to mind first off!) The software creates character names as well as 'pasts' for them. I've alreayd noticed it likes to come up with 'XXX stopped talking at the age of [insert number] for [insert number] of months due to the death of [his/her] [mother/father]' a lot. That's the problem with some software, it is rather limited in what it can give you. I hope I can add some other weird options to it, but it may not be smart enough to do it. Anyway, I had it generate about ten characters (of different sexes and nationalities etc) and some situations and prompts. It even named the story for me. 'Edmond McCarty's Accident'. Edmond McCarty was one of the charcters it created fo me. Actually, the Edmond character is rather thin on the ground at present, as I just used the software to generate his name. I better decide on an age and stuff for him later. I think one of the silly things the software ahs is a personality traits thing which gives the characters personailty traits based on percentages. The personality traits are important, but percentages? how do I write a character who is 50% friendly and differentiate them from one who is 51% friendly??? The percentage thing is rather annoying. I'd rather think of it in terms of a scale of one to five.

1. Hostile
2. Unfriendly
3. Indifferent
4. Friendly
5. Wants to hump your leg!

I might even be able to expand on that chart a little to make it go from Zero to Ten or something, but zero to one hundred has afew too many points on it to make it meaningful. I also don't like some of the traits. Healty - Wealthy - Happiness - Friendliness - Generosity - Agression - Introversion - Caring. Like, how do you allocate a percentage to those things when most stories will want to change some of those things as they go along. Rags to Riches story ... Mike has a wealth rating of 4% ... what about at the end of the story ... you telling me Mike the Multi-Billionaire is still only a 4% wealth ... nope! What if we make it a rags to riches to rags to riches story ... 4% to 97% to 5% to 99% wealth ... average ... 51.25% ... doesn't work for me. I prefer to write my characters from Jungian personality types anyway. (See, there isa goo duse for that stuff!) ;-) Anyway, I got it to generate nine situations/ideas - starting with Idea - Mai buys an exotic stick insect for a months salary Prompt - Where is the toilet? Action - Start a writing group Anyway, it's going to be a mind bender of a story to meld it all together. The point is to generate ideas and make ONE STORY from it ... but I'm going to stick them all into one fast action packed stick insect of a story leading up to Edmonds Accident ... hoe it is good an funy. ;-) Actually, one of the REAL reasons for buying the software, is I've been writing a Saga for YEARS and YEARS which spans over 1000 years, and is the dynasty of a Royal Family on a distant planet leading up to the meeting between and humans and the war which occurs between them. The first story [book one] starts with the Human spaceship docked with the enemy ship, and one of the characters has been set the task of researching the enemy in order to figure out what makes them tick in order to try to organise a peaceful settlement between the two races. I've already go heaps of information on the Royal family, starting from the first King and leading all the way up to the war with the humans. In fact, I finished the first draft years ago, and haven't been back to re-write yet. Probably because I have no idea which floppy disk I stuck the story on ... and I have hundreds of floppies ... the fact I haven't used floppies for years probably proves how long ago I finished the story. Anyway, I can start it from scratch again ... the story line is locked in my brain (along with a million other stories). I should also mention it's serious Science Fiction (called SF in writing field and NOT Sci Fi which is Hollywood movie stuff, and normally not very science oriented and very fictional! Writers like Arthur C. Clark and others like to differentiate the difference in order to keep SF pure. Though a lot of books now can be classified as Sci Fi, as they ignore common sense science and go for elaborate other things). Whcih reminds me, I better also start on a book I call 'Teflon'. LOL Teflon has been running around in my head for about ten years, and some of the technology is starting to come true. I'd hate to get it out only to find that I'm writing modern fact rather than futuristic Science Fiction! LOL I might not be able to use the name 'Teflon' either, seems as it's a Trade Marked name of Duponts non-stick stuff ... but, I won't give too much away regarding it. I'm still trying to decide on some of the pseudonyms I should write under for these books too. Anyway, I wandered off the subject I was bloging about. I started playing with the software last night and got up to pee. I came back to bed ... and the next thing I knw, it was five in the morning and I'd fallen asleep!!! I have little memory form when I got back into bed, to waking up with my Vaio next to me still running. I BLAME THOSE ALIENS!!!! :-) ACTUALLY, I might get a bad reputation ... look, there he goes, the guy who brought a Sony Vaio and first night he had it he went to bed with it!!!! Now that's a reputation even a Geek can do without! lol Though, in Japan they are not far off inventing an automaton for that very purpose!!! I hope they give a lot of them away for free in the third world in order to curb population growth ... but I fear it will just sell in the first world and the first world population will continue to experience negative growth. And there is another SF idea for a book ... see how easy ideas are. I must get a million of the friggin' things in a day and never have time to develop them fully. Hopefully, between the new novel software helpng me organise it, and the Dragon Naturally Speaking software helping me write it faster, i will get a few done this year. Actually, i want to get my mother to use my laptop with the Dragon Naturally Speaking software so that some of her childrens stories cna be recorded. She used to tell really funny ones when I was a kid, and my nephews and neices still think she tells really funny stories. (So now you know where I get my sense of humour from!) :-) Well, I want to illustrate some of her stories (or even help her to illustrate them).

The Last Few Days

A quick update on what has been happening. As you know my old computer died. At first I thought it might have been my hard drive. For some reason my old computer could not boot up. I spent some good hours trying to fix it. I have since checked the hard drives using my new laptop and they are fine. I suspect the problem may have been caused by me overclocking the CPU. The computer is over four years old. I don't blame the poor thing giving up the ghost, but I will try to get it working again. I spent Monday being a chauffeur for my mother. Today I bought Red Dwarf II, Red Dwarf V, and House of Flying Daggers. I am wondering if the house really does have flying daggers in it! Or maybe the house has learnt to throw the daggers.

Anyway I'm hoping that it is a great movie because I now own it on disk. I am hoping to test some of my old games on Sony VAIO, in the hope that they will work on this machine.

Plus the Dragon Naturally Speaking software has made it very quick to get some information into the computer. In fact I'm getting better all the time at dictating. It's sort of funny not having to type. In fact I am wondering how long it will take to write my next novel.

I think once I have it working perfectly it won't take long at all. I'll tell you a quick story about the salesman. He was a very young boy, who was trying to be helpful. I could tell he was very new at being salesman. On both days he's tried to match wits with me regarding computers. I didn't want to shatter his confidence. He really did know much about what he was talking about.

I spent a bit of time talking to him today when I bought a laptop. We had a good chat about university degrees and network engineering in particular.

With my computer down yesterday I took the time to buy some scrapbooks and insert in the scrapbook a lot of my knickknacks from Europe. This included such items as the trip itinerary and information on places I stayed. One of the items was a Mars bar wrapper from France. Another item was I Golden Bear packet from Germany.

I had a lot Brochures from the Jungfraujoch. It brought back a lot of good memories. Specially concerning Mari, a young lass from Osaka.

Dragon Naturally Speaking

The other day I bought Dragon Naturally Speaking software. I'm still trying to get it to understand me correctly. It seems to be getting better and better. In fact this entire post is being written using the software. So if you find any spelling mistakes it's because the software has not understood what I have said. I have found that I need to speak with a better British accent in order for the software to understand what I'm saying. In fact if my elocution improves it's probably because of the software. The software has a little bit of difficulty at times. The next group of things that I'm going to say will be without correction.

I find whenever I ask it to go to bottom airtight out at Goater bottom. On not sure why does this. After all to go on to bottom is actually correct and that this software were as Goater bottom I have no idea what it means . Does anybody understand what at Goater bottom is? Hopefully eventually it will understand me correctly. It's supposed to be able to put in, is that I find it rarely does that. In fact it doesn't seem to be up to differentiate between putting a Conran Mitel is likely putting in a,. I had a little bit of fun before when I told to go to a per capita typing the word new line as you can see his son with this seems like due Baruch. That last sentence was: as you can see some of this seems like gibberish. I have no idea why he it gets something is so wrong.

It doesn't like on my Australian accent! So I often must speak with a British accent. I am hoping that eventually this will save me a lot of time with all the things I need to tighten.

So where as before my disk next year this can made some comments seem like gibberish, now my new speaking software will do the same!!! Disk next year equals dyslexia! I'm not sure what else to talk about! This letter there is a lot of fun and eventually I think I will get a lot of use out of it! Going badly and had fixing things is a high annoying at the moment but hopefully the software will start to get things correct!

Let's try some foreign languages! Tesco say! That was supposed to be French. Let's try that again: Tesco say and and work. Digital today she slipped on a rock star! Echoed that totally run! It got that to lead wrong!

The hour mark ulama. You are. The art. The hour. Dispel this ma choose Mark that it cheers Mark. Why and he. Why he and he

I able now start correcting things again. It just gets too confusing. In fact, I have trouble spelling my own companies name. I wonder if I can eventually get it to spell the company name. Y 80 M. a.

Hmm, that is the closest I can get to a spelling gamma curve are! I guess I'd better typing it in. YAMA KUMA!!! I am going to have some dinner. Hopefully there will be no Goater bottom in my meal. I guess this is sort of a painful way to write but it does save some time even with the mistakes and the corrections.

Hopefully this software will enhance my ability to write a novel much quicker. Now off to dinner!

Apologies - Main Computer Died!

Hi Everyone, my apologies for not blogging yesterday. Had every intentino of doing so, but my computer DIED!!! Waaaah! At present am blogging from my BRAND NEW SONY VAIO with 1GB RAM Woo Hooo! This baby ROCKS!!! Was intending to buy a laptop for my business anyway (to use as a sniffer/scanner etc) in order to solve networking issues. Well, have purchased it slightly early. I'll have to fiddle a little with the settings, as it's looking rather pale already!!! lol Actually, I had to take the one off the shop floor in order to have it by today. Still, it's working like a dream, and not like a nightmare! lol I've already contected it up to ensure my old machines hard drives are fine ... and they are. All data is still present on them, so no need to break out the back-ups yet. I have faith that i can fix the old machine up and get it in tip top condition once again in the near future. Having a bit of fun trying to get used to the new keyboard layout, as it's not the same as my old machine. ANYWAT, will have an update again today (I hope) after I spend some time mucking around with this baby!!! :-)

Eddie – The guy who couldn't get a Date!

Revised List: How to burp tunes and blow bubbles out your nose. Thesaurus - the dinosaur I can't find in a museum! Tautology, repeatition, iteration, duplication - how I fill out my blog posts. :-) Oxford, English Dic and Hary - worlds hardest book to follow the plot of! Alien Abduction Tale Part III Baggy Trousers – Why my balls still work! Jungian 'collective unconscious' Versus Hegel's World Spirit thingy (The real deathmatch you wanted to watch!) Crazy Dates I have been on Part III Eddie – The guy who couldn't get a Date! It was 1978, and I was young and never had a serious GF before. One of my friends Eddie was going out with a young lassie named Marie. Not sure what everyone saw in Marie except that she was blonde. Well, they had a weird sort of relationship where they'd get jealous and break up, and then get back together again. Most girls in the school like Eddie, as he was French. I have no idea why that made him hot, but the girls seemed to think it was so, and he seemed to beleive it too. Well, we all used to sit next to each other in French class. I think Marie was using Eddie just to pass French. Eddie, being French was quite good at the subject. I was also pretty fine at the subject and the small group of us that used to sit together were okay as a group. (There was about eight of us). Somewhere along the line, Steve (another guy) and Eddie had some major break up and a fight took place after school. Steve was an English guy, but wasn't a member of the skinhead groups that used to roam the school and local neighbourhood beating the crap out of the Greeks, Italians and Aussies (such as myself). Anyway, in the is fight, apparently Steve totally creamed Eddie. Not sure what it was about. (Steve later told me it was just because Eddie was a complete pr*ck ... which didn't answer the 'why?' question. After all, there are many differnet ways that you can be a complete pr*ck!) So, Marie, Eddie, Marie's friend (who's name I can't remember) and I moved to another table and left Steve, Gerard and the others in the group to have our usual table. There was a school dance over a month away, and Marie and Eddie set me up with a girl named Lynn to go to the dance. Lynn wasn't too good looking, but I liked her as she was interesting and down to earth. We weren't BF/GF, but we were planning on going as a couple. Somewhere along the line Eddie and Marie had one of their usual break ups. Only this time it was for good. Eddie just assumed they were going to get back together. Marie was adamant they wouldn't. What ended up happening, was Marie needed someway to pass French. Suddenly, I found Marie making advances on me. Not sure if she felt anything else, but I'm pretty sure that's all it was. Being young, naive and well ... flattered by this girls advances, I agreed to go out with her. (Yes, she asked me out). Suddenly, I had a GF, and Eddie was out in the cold. Thsi sort of p***ed Eddie off no end. After all, even though they'd broken up, (and I'm pretty sure it was Eddie who dumped Marie this time), he felt that Marie was HIS GF regardless. So, I had made an instant enemy. Eddie kept trying to break me and Marie up. He got other people to 'tell me off' for stealing his GF and stuff. Eddie kept insisting that there wasn't enough time to get a GF for the school dance. I suggested that since I was now with Marie, that he take Lynn to the dance. He refused as he said Lynn was UGLY!!! (Which was funny, as he thought she was okay when he set me up to take her to the dance!!!) Well, the dance was still over a month away. Eddie was also popular with the girls. THere was no reason he couldn't take someone if he bothered to ASK. He still insisted that MARIE was going to be his date, and insisted that she was actually his GF. After a while, Eddie really didn't have any comebacks to my logical arguements as to why he needed to stop being a pr*ck towards me and Marie. So he cooled it and stopped harasing us. Marie and I settled into a normal sort of GF/BF relationship. She was the first girl who kissed me in a romantic sort of a way, and was also the first girl I gave a ring to. Somewhere along the way though, Marie got it in her head that she needed to join a group of girls who were known as 'The Mole Patrol'! These girls were basically Female Skinheads and dressed like tarts and wore makeup in ways that make up was not ment to be worn. Using trowels to slap it on is an offense to nature, but these girls used to do it. Now don't get me wrong on these girls. It's not like they were 'evil' or even 'unnice'. They just had some bad habits when it came to dress sense and make-up and beating the crap out of other girls (and some boys for that matter). Anyway, years later I became good friends with one of them named Angela. In fact, she'd mellowed by that stage and wasn't beating the living daylights out of anyone, and most of her 'mole patrol' friends had left school to pursue other things. (Like beating up police officers and robbing banks) :-) For soem reason, Marie got it in her head that being a 'member' of the 'mole patrol' would be a good thing. She saw them as ... um ... bad girls who didn't take crap from anyone, where as she still played with barbie dolls and other girlie things. So, it suddenly became important that 'WE' [yes, me and her], become members of this group. Now admittedly, if I joined this group of skinheads, I probably would have got a lot of protection at school rather than being the punching bag I would spend the rest of my days there being. BUT, it went against everything in my nature. Marie told me what 'WE' had to do to join this group. FIRST, we both needed to be smokers. SECOND, you needed to be in a BF/GF relationship (well, we had that covered). THIRD, we needed to hang out in the local alleyways during school hours, skip class, and harass people using the alleyways on the way to school and home. Fourth, basically be bad asses at school beating up the little folk (hey, that's me!!!) and telling teachers were to go. Basically, you were expected to get suspended at least once a term! I told her 'NO'. Not me! No Way. BYE BYE! She went off to join the group, but she had a problem. She needed a BF ... and I wasn't going to play ball. So a weird thing happened. She started seeing a guy named Paul (Bluey) behind my back, and was always pretending to be the ever faithful GF when we were in class together. So I told her she was dumped. This caused Eddie to gloat a little. 'HA! HA! Now you know how I feel!' 'You'll never get a date before the school dance.' BUT, he was still blaming me for the fact that HE DIDN'T HAVE A DATE FOR THE DANCE!!!! Well TOUGH FRIGGIN' LUCK EDDIE. GO ASK SOMEONE!!! In the meantime, I had fallen head over heals for Stacey. I've written about Stacey before ... my first ever true love. [Those who read often will remember she was the one who always used to hide form me when we were going out etc etc] Doesn't matter. Important thing was, I MANAGED TO GET A DATE BEFORE THE DANCE. EDDIE WAS STILL P***ED AT ME THAT MARIE WAS NOT GOING WITH HIM!! 'Well Eddie, you can date her now if you want!!' I'd tell him. 'No way man! She's part of the "mole patrol", I ain't dating her NOW!!!' 'Fine. Don't blame me that you don't have a date!' On top of that, after Marie and I broke up, Lynn also was wondering if I was going to take her to the dance. So I was sort taking her between Marie and Stacey. Once I was with Stacey though, poor Lynn was once again without a date. Come the night of the dance, everyone (well, everyone in my story) had a date ... except Eddie. Eddie,t he guy who had the LONGEST time of all of us to find a date was DATELESS!!! How can a guy who was popularity with the girls NOT FIND A DATE???? Anyway, Eddie forever blamed me for the fact that he didn't ahv a date for that dance, and whenever he found out that I liked a girl, or was going to ask one out, he'd always go out of his way to ask her out first. It became very annoying, but apparently he was trying to teach me a lesson. If that lesson was how to dump girls in order to punish someone for his own mistakes, then I'm afraid I never learnt it. I wonder if he's still out there blaming me for any marriage breakups his had recently?

What A Busy DAY!!!!

Woke up this morning, and before I even got to have breakfast, a shower or anything else, my mother told me I was driving her around to get some flooring for the family room / dining room. It was an amazing decision on my mothers behalf, as she normally procrastinates and puts these things off forever. She has owned and lived in this house for twenty two years, and it's NEVER EVER had proper flooring. We have some second hand vinyl and carpet thrown in a few rooms. They're badly ripped and really bad. As I now have some money (ie my managed fund money), I offered to place soem flooring down while my mother was in hospital. So we went to look at some floor boards for me to put down. It came to AUD$700+ for the area I hoped to do. So I paid for it, which made my mother very happy. We have to wait for the flooring to come in though. It will arrive on the fifteenth of this month. Then I have to pick it up and bring it home. We drove halfway across Perth to get it at a godo price. So in two weeks time I'm heading back there to pick it up. I decided that we might as well go and see a whitegoods seconds store I pass every now and then. I wanted to check out microwaves for mum. On the way, we stopped off at a Discount Warehouse type store, and I bought a TV / Computer Projector for $800 (which was normally about $1500). It was an older model, which is why i got it cheaper. My brother Jeff also decided to pay for my mother's microwave oven. We have to go back in a week to pick it up. So my mother was very happy. We'd bought her flooring AND a Microwave. Plus, I had the projector (which was bought for my business to use for presentations). On the way home, we decided to drop off to get my brother a Joystick for his computer. When we dropped into the store, I decided to buy some software for my business. I bought these things:

• MYOB (Mind You Own Business Accounting Software)
• Norton Ghost (Backup Untility)
• An Internet Security Suite (I won't say the brand .. keep that secret a little!) :-)

We then headed down the road and bought Subway. Even though I'd had a foot long Vegie Delite, I was still hungry and bought some chips later. (I am such a PIGGGGG!) After we dropped all that stuff off at home, my brother and I went out to do some food shopping for my mother (and the dogs, as they'd run out of food!) It gave me the opportunity to do what I was planning to do today - buy some new clothes!!! So, first stop, CLOTHES STORE. On top of the $700+ (flooring) and $800 (Projector) and $400 (software), I then bought $500 worth of clothes. (I'm feeling poorer already!!!) I was a bit upset I didn't get a discount on my clothes though. [I think the clothing store should be more generous). Well, I needed the clothes badly. Other than a pair of shos and a suit I'd bought, it's the only stuff I've bought in three years!!! My mother acted as though it was her idea, as she's nagged me over the last two years to buy new clothes, but as I kept telling her, I didn't have the money before. It's only as I've exited my managed funds that I have anything to spend. While we were there, I also decided to buy a Digital converter for our Television. All TV's in Aussie have to be Digital (or have a digital to analogue converter) by 2008. So I went to buy one. I was VERY P***ed off with what happened next. I was waiting to be server at the counter, when the three sales clerks ignored me all together and servered another guy who'd arrived at the counter after me. At the time I gave them the benifit of the doubt, as the guy had been more pushy and had pushed in front of me. THEN HOWEVER, they completly ignored me AGAIN and asked two guys who were further to the back if they required help. That time it was a COMPLETE OBVIOUS SNUB!!!!! If you were therem you'd understand. I was AT THE COUNTER!!! I'D BEEN THERE FOR OVER TEN MINTUES WAITING!!! These other two guys had walked in and were standing BEHIND ME!!!! I was p***ed off right royally!!! That was the sort of treatment I used to get when I was a kid! It's not like I could have been missed or anything. Anyway, when I was the ONLY person left at the counter, they decided to serve me. (Like I was some sort of rif raf or soemthing). I asked the guy about the TV Digital to Analogue converters. The guy started playing dumb and pretending he didn't know what they were. I then explained to him what they did! Nope! He still didn't know what they were. So I went into painful graphic detail about the need for them and what the do. 'OH!' The guy said, 'You want a SETOBOX!!!' He said the last word in a weird accent and really fast. I thought he was German for a second! 'Um, sorry, what did you say.' 'A SETOBOX!!' Really fast and in a weird accent again! Where was he getting that accent and WHAT THE FRIG was a SETOBOX!!!! 'Sorry, I didn't get what you said!' The guy rolled his eyes like I was an idiot and said he'd show me to what he ment. So we went to where they were and he pointed to one. 'Yes, that's what I want.' 'Okay', he just stood there. 'Yes', I repeated. 'That's what I want. I want to buy one.' 'Oh!' The guy looked totally stunned. As if he expected me to say I didn't have the money or something! What a PR*CK!!! He went into the back room and came out with one. We went to the counter and I paid for it. I wasn't happy. Do they ALWAYS treat customers like complete idiots? I've vowed never to go back into that store again. NEVER EVER!!!! The only reason I stayed was because I needed the digital converter to use with my Projector. The projector doesn't run off analogue TV's, it needs either a digital one, or the converter. I noticed that the only time that PR*CK had an accent was when he was saying 'Set Top Box'. Though I must admit, there were a few times he said things in a weird way by rushing through certain words and joining them all together. Even without him pretending I was some sort of moron, I was still p***ed off with having been ignored while they dealt with other customers who'd arrived after me!!!! We came home, and I set up the digital converter and the projector. We got out an old movie projector screen we still have. It didn't quite fit on it, but we managed to get it all working. We had trouble getting the sound to work. I'd turned it up full on both the Projector and Digital Converter. It didn't work. I kept fiddling with it and my mother suggested I try the digial converter. I pointed out I'd already tried it. My brother and I went through trying different cables and other things. I'd turned both the devices down to half volume by this stage (so as not to blow ear drums when it did eventually work). Eventually, Jeff (my brother) noticed he could hear a faint sound of the TV station. I listened closely. I could too. So I turned up the volume on both devices and we foudn we had sound. My mother then told me that it was because of her suggestion, saying that I hadn't turned the sound up on the Digital Converter! I bit my tongue, as I'd previously shown her BOTH devices with the volume on full and no sound!!! Well, we got to watch some digital TV on the BIG screen. Then I set it up on the Television as well. I'm not too impressed with Digital TV. Though there are three channels for every normal free to air TV station, I noticed they all play the exact same things. So we have three chanel seven stations playing chanel seven. Three chanel nine, three chanel ten. We do have four digital radio stations, and thre are stations for every station whcih list the programs. SBS also had an extra station which was playing some foreign language, but it didn't come with subtitles. I know at one stage they were talking in French on the station! Most of the TV stations do actually come with subtitles for the hearing impaired! It's a pity the foreign one didn't come with any at all ... not in English, not in French etc. I then loaded my Internet Security and Norton Ghost onto my PC and spent most the night trying to get on the Internet. (Yeah, lots of things to tweak ... as I now have four firewalls, and half a dozen virus scanners etc ... and all wanted to block each other!) :-) My brother Jeff and I then set up the projector with his laptop computer. We had a great time playing some of our games and proving that his joystick works. I probably should have got some photographs of the projector working. Anyway, we projected it onto the blue wall we have here, (after taking the clock down). He also tried playing The Sims on it, but as it needed the mouse, he was playing it more using his laptop screen, while I could see what was happening on the big screen. I then returned to making my computer work on the internet, and visited a few blogs (but not all of the usual ones I get through ... so if there are no comments on yoursite, I might not have got there yet!) List of clothes I bought:

• Two pair of Black jeans
• Two pair of Navy Blue Shorts
• Seven Shirts
• Two Belts
• Six pairs of Boxer Shorts.

(That's what AUD$500+ gets you now a days!) Now, I am tired and going to bed.

On The Market Again

Dabido is OFFICIALLY back in circulation and on the free market again. The young lass who was trying to tear through the Teflon Suit has apparently run off to chase other gentlemen. Which is good. She was way too young! Wonder if I should pimp myself or wait till some other lass tries to rip her way through ... and should I take myself off the market for these exercises, or should I say, 'Hey, everyone is entitled to have a go!' I think I'll go insult one of my Japanese Friends ... she likes that! :-) Bwahahahaaaa! :~) [In fact, she only talks to me when I call her names!!! What's with that? Oh yeah, might be because I only attract loonies! See last story!] :-)

The Art of Dumping a Girl You're Not Even Going Out With

Before I start on Todays' story, here is what happened today! Today, I finished my Cert IV in Training and Work Place Assessment. WOO HOO! I had to sit through a LOT of training sessions that other people gave, as well as doing my own presentation. In fact, I was almost the ONLY person to sit through everyone elses sessions, but I ran off to have lunch at about 3 PM and missed the Banana Packing one and whatever Heidi did for hers. Everyone created training plans for Waste Management for two days of training. We also had to perform ONE fifteen minute presentation on ONE of the aspects of the training. (So one module of the two days). The sessions I sat through included:

• Disposing of waste paper correctly
• Disposing of syringes correctly
• Disposing of Paint correctly
• Disposing of Oranges correctly.

As I said, I missed the banana one and another one. I got some real positive feedback from the attendees of my training session. You are probably wondering what a dull ol' boring guy like me wrote an entire two days training on in waste management. After all, I've worked in labs, factories, IT, the automotive industry, finance industry, marketing industry, music industry, as well as having done volunteer work for drug rehab, underprivaledged children etc etc. So I know a variety of lots and lots of different ol' boring things which need to be got rid of correctly from lots of different industries. Being ME, I did my waste management training project on getting rid of FANTASY ANIMAL WASTE!!!! Yes, you heard me correctly! I taught people how to identify 'Dragon Doo' and 'Unicorn Unko*' and dispose of it correctly using the right health and safety equipment as well as placing it in the right recepticle. *NOTE: Unko, うんこ the Japanese word for Doo. Everyone enjoyed it and thought it was rather imaginative and everthing! OH YEAH!!!! ;-) I got good marks. I still have to have the actual Two Day Training Project marked and have it sent off to the Eastern States before I actually receive a pass or fail. All looks good so far. :-) Here is the revised list for tonight. Please add suggestions in the COMMENTS section. [Remember, I'll blog on anything.] :-)

• How to burp tunes and blow bubbles out your nose.
• Thesaurus - the dinosaur I can't find in a museum!
• Tautology, repeatition, iteration, duplication - how I fill out my blog posts. :-)
• Oxford, English Dic and Hary - worlds hardest book to follow the plot of!
• Alien Abduction Tale Part III
• Baggy Trousers – Why my balls still work!
• Eddie – The guy who couldn't get a Date
• Jungian 'collective unconscious' Versus Hegel's World Spirit thingy (The real deathmatch you wanted to watch!)

The Art of Dumping a Girl You're Not Even Going Out With It was 1980. My second last year of High School in that hell hole of a school in Adelaide. (Before moving to NSW and doing my final year there!) Let's put you in the right frame of mind for what we are about to encounter. I'm a guitarist. Every second kid in the school is a guitarist. In fact, Cold Chisel (an old Aussie band from many years ago) used to rehearse in my school before becoming world famous (though a lot of people won't remember them now). [NOTE: they didn't atend my school, only rehearsed.] At the school (I'm talking people who actually attended the school!), my elder brother was THE DRUMMER. Okay, there were a few other drummers at that school, but my elder brother was considered THE DRUMMER. He was the drummer the other drummers used to come to for advice. He wasn't a great drummer by any standards I would consider good, BUT, after saying that Rock 'n' Roll is NOT ABOUT being good or the best. It's all about IMAGE. He had the IMAGE. Almost every girl younger than him thought he was HOT!!! (Though a few of my friends thought he was a complete PRATT because they'd see the way he REALLY was ... especially when he'd put me down or go out of his way to humiliate me). Now, with ME being a guitarist (and a damn fine classically trained guitarist and all - later to be a studio musician), a few of the other guitarists would slag me off and put me down. ('Classical! Ptttth!' They'd say!) Part of this was also because my elder brother would also do that (and a lot of people who had NEVER EVER seen me play). Which was funny, as I was the 'GO TO GUY' whenever a band lost a guitarist, as I'd almost always be able to walk straight in and be able to play with the band. Well, amongst all this, was ONE poor little girl who was CRAZY over my elder brother. She had his name all over her pencil case and books and other stuff. The sort of thing that girls with crushes do. Only, like most of the girls at the school, she had ZERO percent chance of getting anywhere NEAR my brother. [And my brother had a few GF's that he went steady with - but if he ever dumped a girl, or got dumped, he would inevitably have another one on his arm within fifteen minutes!] Yeah, he was a bit of a hard act to follow in the 'GF' department. I wasn't going for quantity though, I prefered quality. (And a lot of the GF's my brother had, I didn't like as they made bricks seem like intelligent life forms). Every term we'd have a school dance. We had three terms, so we had three school dances each year. Sometimes we'd have live bands, but most of the time we'd have DJ's. At one of these school dances, this poor girl (who's name I can't remember), was running around and kissing all the guys, sitting on their laps, sticking her arm around them, and generally ACTING like a slut. Now, during the day light hours, she'd often hang around me to try to get near my elder brother. I just considered her annoying. (Well, she was). She considered me a friend. (I guess I considered her a sort of friend ... an annoying one!!) Anyway, I knew why she kept hanging out with me, and it had NOTHING to do with her liking me. My friends considered her even more annoying than I did, as they didn't understand how I could put up with such a stupid young thing hanging out with me for ulterior motives. Ulterior, I am using pretty loosely, as she wasn't really concealing it very well at all. [Or maybe she wasn't trying to conceal it!] So, skip forward to the Last School Dance of the year. She'd been all over almost EVERY guy in my year (and a few others from her own year and a few others in higher years ... and ... well, I'm sure a few guys missed out). The end of the night rolled around, and bascially she found me (after I'd spent a lot of the night with my current 'friend' ... I call the girl I was sort of seeing at that time a 'friend' as we were not BF/GF, but we were moving in that direction. We had almost got together a few years earlier when we were Jiujitsu Partners at the local Dojo). SOOO, dispite the fact that I had this other girl I was sort of with, the first girl came up to me, sat down on my lap and stuck her arm around me and started kissing me and everything. Some of the other guys came along and started telling her off for being a slut. They really started tearing shreds off her, and she bascially chased them off somewhere. I thought she'd gone. Phew! Time to get back to my 'friend'. A few moments later, the first girl reappeared. She was bawling her eyes out. The guys had got pretty rough with her in a verbal way. She asked me to pretend to be her BF for the rest of the night so that the guys would leave her alone. (After all, she figured if ppl thought we were together, if someone started to tear shreds off me, she figured my elder brother would intervene ... which proved how little she knew about my elder brother. My elder brother was normally the instigator of such shreddings!) Well, not wanting to 'ruin it' with my 'friend' I told the first girl to wait while I sorted some stuff out with my 'friend'. I made sure that the first girl knew we were only pretending for THAT NIGHT ONLY, as I was pretty keen on my 'friend' and my 'friend' was pretty keen on me. She said she understood. So off I went. I spoke to my 'friend' about what had happened and explained that it was only going to be 'pretend' for that night and that I wasn't 'going out' with that other girl. She agreed it was a nice thing to do and agreed that I should help out this poor girl. So, for the rest of the night, I pretended to be this girls BF and whenever some of the other guys would come up and call her a 'slut' or anything, I'd defend her and say she was my GF. It worked fine. Most of these guys started to leave her alone, and we all were happy after a while. The next school day though, something had CHANGED!!!! I was hanging out with my 'friend' again (as we did ... because we liked each other and stuff). Suddenly, at lunch, one of my 'friends' girls friends (used in the term that they are friends who are girls) came up and asked me some questions. It was pretty unusual, as she knew that me and my 'friend' were trying to get it together to see each other and date over the summer break. So, off my 'friends' GF went, back from wence she had come. About ten minutes later, she returned and told me I HAD to talk to the FIRST GIRL from the other night. Even though I thought I'd had a deal with her, and she knew I was keen on my 'friend', she'd started telling EVERYONE that I was her REAL BF. Where she'd previously had stuff written on her ruler and books and pencil case and things saying 'I LOVE GARRY' [my elder brother], she'd gone through with liquid paper and changed it all to, 'I LOVE DAVID' and things along those lines!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! I suddenly found myself in a VERY DIFFICULT SITUATION! What to do? What to do? I told my 'friend' that I'll go speak to the girl and sort it out. So off I went. I had to find her, but she kept running away and hiding from me! She KNEW that we were not BF/GF, and she also knew if I caught her and had a talk to her the gig was up!!! So she ran, and all her friends kept asking me, 'Are you two really going out?' They thought it was incedible, as they knew I thought she was annoying, and they also knew I was with my 'friend'. This poor girls credibility rating was hitting rock bottom!!!! I think a lot of her friends also knew about the 'deal' I'd made with her. So the poor girl was struggling in quicksand. She had to avoid me in order to stop me from having a 'talk' with her. Well, eventually, I was talking to some of her friends, and I said, 'Go ask her, if I am really her Boy Friend, why does she kep running away from me? If I am her Boy Friend, she'd be hanging out with me! Why isn't she doing that?' So they went and told her that. Suddenly, she was put on the spot. If she kept running from me, EVERYONE would know she'd been lying. So, she decided to risk actually speaking to me. So, she found me, and we sat down in private and had a conversation. First I reminded her of our deal. At first she remembered the deal and agreed it was only for that night. Somehow, during that conversation, it twisted. She started denying any deal, and claimed that I'd REALLY TRULY ASKED HER OUT! WAAAAAAAAAAAH! She left me no alternative. If she was going to pretend that we were an item, then there was only ONE THING I COULD DO!!! I had to DUMP A GIRL I WASN'T EVEN GOING OUT WITH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! So, I did it. I explained to her, that regardless of what had happened at the dance, I had made a mistake and that I was truly sorry. I told her it was all my fault and that we couldn't go out together. I reminded her that I was not the one she loved. She was in love with my elder brother. She cried ... and cried ... and cried. And I felt so sorry for her. It was as though I'd really truly ripped her poor little heart out. She folder her arms, stuck them on the desk, and stuck her head on her arms and wouldn't stop crying. I stuck my arm around her and comforted her a little. I even ran my fingers through her hair and told her everything was going to be all right. After a while, I figured she wasn't even listening to me. Some of her friends were just outside the classroom, so I asked them to come in and comfort her, and I left. 'Did you two just break up?' one of them asked. Rather than explain the entire situation, I just replied, 'Yes', and kept walking. I went back to my 'friend' and explained the whole thing. It sort of put a damper on that summer holiday, as I felt so bad about what had happened. In the end, my 'friend' and I sort of got together about a year later. It was a very brief BF/GF type thing. Though we were friends, once we started being BF/GF, she suddenly started playing 'hard to get'. I'd turn up at her place, and her younger sister would tell me she wasn't home. This was even though she was home and I could here her telling her sister what to say. So I dumped her. Then she wouldn't speak to me for dumping her ... weird. Maybe I just attract looonies! :-)

Okay Stupid Cupid!!!

I enjoy doing the good old Okay Cupid test as much as the next person, but one of the problems I find with some of the tests is they often have questions which just can't be answered ... like this one! You find out your lover is dissatisfied in bed. Your perfectly fine, but you wonder whats up. What do you do? Obviously written by someone who doesn't understand my personality type! I A FLIPPIN' PHLEGMATIC! If my partner isn't satisfied in bed THEN I'M NOT SATISFIED IN BED!!!! There is no way I could possibly be PERECTLY FINE!!!! I have to get the other person off or else I CAN'T GET OFF!!!! I CAN'T GET NO SATISFACTION IF THEY AIN'T GETTING SATISFACTION! Which is probably a good reason for me not to marry another Phleggy, as we'd sit in bed trying to convince the other that they need to receive their pleasure first!!! 'No dear, I'll get you off first.' 'Oh, I'm all right dear. Let's do you first.' 'No, I can't allow you to do that. Let me excite you.' 'No! No! Let me excite you!' 'No, I have to excite you first.' 'Look, let me give you pleasure!' *BANG* *BANG* *BANG* [Neighbours voice through the wall] 'WILL BOTH OF YOU TWO SHUT UP!!!! JUST SERVICE YOURSELVES!! ANYTHING! JUST SHUT THE FRIGGGG UP!!!!!!' Yes, it will be a long night before either even get to the foreplay! Actually, getting back to the 'Okay Cupid' thing, I've done some pretty shocking tests on that site (and other sites) before which lead to meaningless conclusions. Every now and then you run into a well organised one which has been actually based on something psychological or theoretical. Or even one which has just been plain well thought out. It's the ones which ask a question and then some choices which just don't fit! You're on a plane and it starts to crash. Do you: 1 - take a boat 2 - hump the stewardess 3 - sing songs 4 - go to another planet HUH???? How about getting into the crash position and PRAYING!!!! Or they ask a question like: You get caught cheating on your partner. Do you: And you are hoping there is a N/A there, as you'd never cheat. Instead you are given a choice of something like: 1 - Tell her where to go 2 - keep bonking the person you're with 3 - you don't care 4 - nothing And I'm left wondering ... why did that person give all the answers which would really fit only one or two of the personality types ... what about BEGGING FORGIVENESS or CRY or ASK HER TO JOIN IN or PRETEND YOU ARE SLEEP WALKING or SUDDENLY SCREAM 'OH NO! YOU'RE NOT MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER!' or ... well there are so many possibilities. Okay, it's true that some tests are deliberately made so that they MAKE an outcome occur. Or they are written by people as a joke (in which case accuracy probably isn't that important). I just get tired of trying to do these long test where you get fifteen questions into a twenty question test and have to chose between a few answers that just don't fit. Actually, some of the worst are the ones which make you answer ten or more questions and only have two outcomes. If they were written well enough, every question should reveal something and the more questions there are, the more outcomes there should be. Anyway, I just had to write that as I was in the middle of a quiz and can't get any further! There is NO CORRECT ANSWER PRESENT TO CHOSE!!!

Crazy Dates I have been on Part II

We are coming to towards the end of the list of things for me to blog about. Soon, I will be back into sequels. Actually, Crazy Dates I have been on part II hasn't been done ... think I'll do that tonight. The Revised List:

• How to burp tunes and blow bubbles out your nose.
• Thesaurus - the dinosaur I can't find in a museum!
• Tautology, repeatition, iteration, duplication - how I fill out my blog posts. :-)
• Oxford, English Dic and Hary - worlds hardest book to follow the plot of!
• Alien Abduction Tale Part III
• The Art of Dumping a Girl You're Not Even Going Out With
• Baggy Trousers – Why my balls still work!
• Eddie – The guy who couldn't get a Date

Crazy Dates I have Been on Part II I've been on many dates with many different girls. Tonight I blog on one of the girls I was dating at one stage. We actually did a little bit of dating. We went to see Miss Congeniality together (She chose the movie). That was cool by me. Everything was going well. Actually, the funny thing about this date, was after the movie, I was waiting for her to come out of the ladies room. I'd already been into the mens room to remove the large amount of coke I'd consumed! (EXTRA SUPER DUPER SIZE ME PLEASE!) I'd also tried removing all the chocolate from the choctop (Choclate covered Ice Cream) I'd dropped on my jumper! (I'm so FAT, it never even had a chance to HIT the floor! Woo hoo!) Well, she came out of the ladies room, and the funny thing was, instead of ME, she headed straight over to another guy! Funny thing was, this was another guy from work. I always suspected that she had a crush on this guy. Though this guy was married (and I had heard his wife looked like a model). Anyway, she just ignored me and headed straight over to him and started to talk! Waaaah! Hey! I'm here! Babe! I'm OVER HERE! .... okay ignore me, I'll come to YOU!!!! So I wandered over to them. Nice to know she didn't even stop to say, 'Hey, that's ****, let's go talk to him!' She just acted as though we weren't even together. I wonder if she was ashamed to have been with me!!! Waaah! [Must be the chocolate on the jumper! What a slob!!!] Well. As people go, we got to talking and everything. You know how it is. You share intimate details and everything. One of the things she told me about was some absolute MONGREL her sister had been dating. Being Chinese, her sister was the eldest and expected to look after her mother in later life. Unfortunately, this BF she was dating convinced the elder sister to move in with him. The elder sister basically said to my date, 'Screw Mum! She's your responsibility!' So my date was considerably upset over the whole thing. On top of that, her sisters BF would always have bad things to say about her and would always pretend that she'd offended him in some way. He'd make up stories about her and tell her sister. This drove a rift between her and her sister which she resented. As sisters they'd been pretty close and now, it was as though that closeness had never existed! Well, on our final date, we went to the PC show together (being GEEKS and all). One of the reasons I haven't mentioned her name is she might be reading this blog. We're still in contact ... anyway ... this post might get me into trouble ... we'll see! She can't complain that it isn't the truth though ... she can only tell me off for revealing stuff ... and as I haven't revealed her name, no one knows who she is!!! ;-) So, we went to the PC show together. We're looking around, having a good geeky time (as geeks do at such shows) and we go around a corner. I suddenly spot this guy I used to work with. Actually, when I say we used to work together, he worked in the liquor part of the a store my ex-wife used to work in. I used to do Night Fill there at one stage. Actually it was just before and then for a long time after my ex decided to run off with another guy. (Yeah yeah! We've all heard that story Dabido! No need to rave on about it!) Well, the funny thing about this guy, was I used to talk to him a bit whenever I was on a break or needed to buy some Scotch for a party. He'd apparently been dating this Asian Girl ... and as we all know, Dabido [me] has a preference for asian cuties of the female variety. As I was single by this stage, we'd get to talking about his GF and all. Apparently, he'd tell me about the problems he used to have with his GF's crazy younger sister!!! Flash forward to the PC show! We go around the corner - I see this guy! He sees me! I go to speak to him, when the girl I am with grabs me and races me along! 'Wait! I know that guy!' I say to her. 'No! No! We can't stop! My sisters Boy Friend is there! I don't want to talk to him!' 'Um, which one? I just wanted to speak to that guy Andy. I used to work with him.' 'No! I don't want you going back!' 'Um, okay.' So we go on. (See how nice I am. I completly shun a guy I know just for my date!) :-) We spend the rest of the time at the show having a look around and everything. After the show though, she suddenly went very cold on me. It was our last date. Whenever I suggested a movie or anything, she'd always refuse! No matter what I said, no matter what I suggested she'd never tell me WHY we'd suddenly stopped dating! NOR would she date me again. I suspect it was because her sisters BF and the guy I knew, 'Andy', was one and the same guy! I could never get her to tell me if she knew him or not! WHICH GUY WERE WE AVOIDING THAT DAY???? DID I KNOW THE GUY??? WAS IT ANDY????!!!!! Was she trying to stop me from finding out information about her from Andy? Or was she trying to stop Andy from telling lies about her to me, because she was afraid I'd become contaminated with his rumours??? Or did she just hate the guy and didn't want me talking to him ever!!! Or was she afraid I'd tell Andy stories he'd tell her sister!!! Either way it was sort of weird! Everything had seemed to be going well, and all of a sudden that one incident changed everything!!! Even if we were only friends, I was suddenly at arms length and not allowed near her!!!! Well, I always believed she had her reasons. I spoke to the guy from work that she had spoken to at that first date. (The Miss Congeniality movie) and he told me to keep trying. He said Chinese girls often want you to prove you are worthy by constantly chasing them etc. [I take his word for it, seems as he was Chinese]. I didn't think he was right. I think she'd been spooked by something and that was why we went from being friends [movie buddy's] to suddenly being aquaintences!!! No matter what way I look at it, I can't pin point anything I'd done wrong (unless she was really against that spilt chocolate on my jumper from the first movie). :-) Still, my curiosity can't help but wonder what it was!!!!

Another Reason Why I don't Believe in Horoscopes! :-)

I've said before (and I'll repeat myself just for the sake of clarity), that I do not believe in horoscopes. I do occassionally read them, but only because I know they sometimes sandwich good advice in as a pretense to telling your future. Most of the time it's vague enough to mean almost anything, but often that can also lead you to making decisions on things you've been avoiding. Its also sometimes a good thing to read, as it will remind us of something we've forgotten. Some of it's advice is often specific about something rather common sense, and though we all like to think we have common sense, often we forget ourselves and get over confident or berate ourselves way too much. Of course, I'm sure I could write a computer program to dispense the same sort of advice, but it is often fun to think it's coming from someone who may or may not even know what they're talking about. Unfortunately, I don't think today's is much help. Gemini The best time to tell them your feelings is when you know they can handle the truth. Whether you're aware of it or not, your mission now is to get connected with a new friend or admirer -- the one who's been so obvious about getting to know you. If you bump into someone well dressed, well traveled and financially comfortable, do introduce yourself, especially if you're single; but if you're not on the market and your sweetie's arms have been crossed for over an hour, remember that you've always been skilled in conversation, which is the first step toward charming your way back into someone's heart. Start chatting! Tell WHO, WHAT FEELINGS???? I have a new friend or admirer??? Where is she???? Actually, I just had a sudden fear - there was this gay guy who tried to pick me up the other day ... NAAAH!!!!

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Oh, my mother went to the Dentist and got her tooth fixed (the one which had the filling fall out of the other day). So that's pretty good. Now she can say Suckering Succotash without sounding like Sylvester the Cat!!!! Actually, I'm sitting here not doing my homework like I am supposed to. I excel at procrastination. If only I could get a job in it! :-) Yesterday, I didn't do my homework, and I got up an hour early this morning, rushed it and forgot to do the second half!!! I got to the course, and sudenly realised the others (who didn't do their homework either) were working on finishing their second parts! ARGH! So I raced and finished it ... fortunately, as Kelly (the trainer) was setting up the presentation (see earlier post tonight), he was ten minutes late. I actually FINISHED my homework! Tonight I am repeating last nights avoidance of homework. Kelly said it should only take FIFTEEN minutes. He might be right. Especially as I alreayd have a godo idea about what I am going to do. That's one of the reasons I was able to finish yesterday's homework in a rush, I already had my little brain ticking over before I got home. There is one thing my brain is good at working on, and that is problems I'm not actually physically doing something about. My subconscious does some of the work, and the conscious part often has things running as well. So tonights Homework was running in my mind a little while ago while I was finding other things to do to avoid it! There is always so much to do in life that I can't stop. Okay, I do occassionally get bored, but it's not because there isn't anything to do, it's normally because what is left to do I am bored with. My brain is always on the look out for new challenges and new experiences! Actually, speaking of that, I probably should speak about the games I bought the other day ... here is a quick ratings system - one a scale of 'Thumbs Up' , 'Okay', 'Ptttth' and 'TOTAL CRAP' here are the games rated: Game / Rating / Comment Celtic Kings / Pttthhh / Interaction a little like Dark Reign - except set in time of Celtic Kings. Bored me after a while as not much really happening - not enough variety in the missions. The actual format wasn't too bad, and I am sure some people might actually like this. Lack of 'speaking parts' as well. Most is read off the screen in text. I have a feeling somewhere buried in this might have been the makings of a good game. Some of the concepts may have worked given better treatment. Patrician II / NOT RATED / Couldn't get this to work. Went to the website and downloaded the patch, and then it still wouldn't work, but with a different error! I hope to discover some way to make this piece of crap work in the future. Maybe when I get my laptop! Legion / TOTAL CRAP / Not very good game. Very little to do in the city screen. When battles occur, you are allowed to position the Legions you have, but once the battle begins, you can't command them. They basically march forward (or stay), but there is NO way you can tell them to disengage, or not to attack the enemy unit they decide to attack. It would be nice to be able to actually command them rather than sit and watch them do their own thing. Had to load the patch to get it to work. Golf Resort Tycoon / TOTAL CRAP / Probably cutting edge at one stage ... nah, who am I kidding. It was another one of these games whcih tried to cash in on the 'TYCOON' title, and never made it into the same realms as Theme Park, Railway Tycoon, Transport Tycoon, or any of the better type of games simulating business. I tried it and was a millionaire so easily it wasn't funny. I had a 5 star resort in no time flat and was bored once I'd built every thing which could be built! Nothing to do after that. Gave up! Donald Trump's Real Estate Tycoon / PTTTTHHHH / Actually, luck I am not giving it the TOTAL CRAP rating. Probably because there was more of a challenge to it than the other games. Not easy to master, but a lack of variety in what can and can't be done really hampers this game. On top of that, if you are waiting for something to occur, then you have no way of speeding up or sloing time down! I got bored when I was waiting for income of for loans to be paid off. (Oh, no way to pay off loans early!!!) I'm surprised Donald let his name be attached to this. Europa Universalis II / Thumbs Up / I've already commented on this in great detail. I found a patch, but it didn't solve the 'freezing' problem I had encountered. I did notive though, that it didnt' freeze as often, and I've had a great time playing Spain in the 'BIG CAMPAIGN'. Also, I'd like a way in this game to pay off loans early if I have the money!!!! If they make a third one in the franchise I'd like to see it. I feel there are some aspects they can add to in the future (and they probably have some ideas I haven't even thought of!) Everything else is good, and it's been a real challenge in some parts. I've mentioned before, it's a strategy game, so is not everyones cup of tea. BUT, if you do like strategy, it's good. (I feel a little funny playing Spain, as I own a large chunk of Africa, and haven't even got to Mexico or South America yet!!!! It's 1550 AD already!!!!) :-) Still to load and play O*R*B and Jagged Alliance II, so look out for their reviews in a later post. Patrician II might get a review if I can get it to work on something! I hate games which don't work on normal machines!!!! I have a feeling it might be a very good game if I can get the bloody thing to work!!!!

Big Launch Today

We had the big launch today at the PCYC of the Microsoft UPS program. We had the Mayor, the BIG Police people, a Microsoft representative, Smith Family Represtentatives, Jishin Academy Training (Kelly - he does Work Place Training and Assessment, as well as being a Judo Coach). Anyway, I got the PC's fired up and stuff and they crammed everyone into the training rooms etc. I'd asked yesterday if I needed to wear a suit, and I was told to come casual ... so I did. I was in jeans and severely underdressed!!!! Grrrrr! We had a video presentation (which had been put together by Kelly from Jishin) and all went really well. There were speaches etc, where even little ol' me got a mention! Actually, Chas asked if my company was pronounced 'Yam-a kum-a' and I said, 'Yeah' and later realised, Um, No ... it's pronounce 'YaHMaH KooMaH' Stoopid Baka Bodoh Dabido! Can't even pronounce his own companies name right. The really stoopid thing about that, is my Mentor had rejected me calling the company 'D'Elven MacKnell' as he thought it was too hard to pronounce ... now I realise, NOBODY IN FRIGGIN' AUSTRALIA CAN PRONOUNCE YAMA KUMA RIGHT!!!!!! FRIG !!! FRIG !!! FRIG !!!! AND EVEYOEN KEEPS CALLING ME DAVE!!! I HATE BEING CALLED DAVE!!!! MY NAME IS DAVID!!!!!!! BLAH!!!!!! The stoopid thing abou tthat, is I ws originally asked if I prefer David or Dave, and I TOLD THEM DAVID!!!!! THEN THEY GO AND IGNORE IT!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! But, all that complaining aside, it was good that I got a mention! :-) We were invited out for food and stuff, but I raced back to my course (which we'd moved from the training room to the Gym Hall). Then, Kelly had to come and get me, as I was needed for a photo shoot. I was in one photo with the Mayor, Kelly, the guy from the Smith Family, and the guy from Microsoft. I have no idea if it is going into the Councel Newsletter or the local paper or WHAT!!!! So I look forward to seeing it in some publication (or maybe I'm too ugly and they'd destroy all copies of that photograph!!!) Anyway, the photographer got my NAME and NOT my Company Name!!!! FRIG!!! No free advertising!!! I hoe they friggin' get it right that i am te one who set up the networks (yes, more than one) and will be one of the facilitators!!! If not, how will they explain my presence. I also hope that they don't show the bottom of my jeans, as I was wearing them turned up at the bottom! Stupid DABIDO!!!!!!!!!! [Oh, I should probably explain a little about what you can call me! These names are acceptable:

• David
• David-Lee
• Dabido
• Deibetto
• Dabs
• Dab
• Bear
• Little Bear
• Mr Hair Bear Bunch (I get that from my friend Adam)

NOT DAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry ... I'm never Dave ... there is always many David's and Daves around. We had SEVEN in my year Eight Science Class, and I was NOT DAVE!!!! THAT WAS FOUR OF THE OTHER GUYS!!!! To differentiate me from the other Davids, I was either David-Lee or David. I HATE BEING CALLED DAVE!!!! THAT'S SOME OTHER GUY!!!!] So, I hope that clears that up. I am so putting a NOTE on my album cover that I am David-Lee "Don't call me Dave" Stevenson. Oh, that's if I ever get to releasing any of my recordings as an album!!! I have so much work on right now, it may be a LONG LONG time before I get to anything like that!!!! Anyway, was a good launch today. They ate all the food provided (which was a shame, as we were promised that it was going to be over catered for and that we'd have a free lunch ... but there is NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH - and so the guys doing the course and I all missed out on the free lunch! Though I could have hung around and hob nobbed!!! But I wanted to get my course done!!!!) Have to go watch some TV and do my homework now. Only two days left and I get another piece of PAPER!!!! More paper to keep the fires going in winter!!! :-)

The Day I became a Neurosurgeon

Was a bit slow today, all I did was my new Cert IV course, so not much to report. Oh, they ran some horse race in Melbourne apparently. An important day in Aussie apparently, not that many ppl on the course cared. ANYWAY, todays post is about: The Day I became a Neurosurgeon You are probably wondering how a person becomes a NEUROSURGEON without becoming a Doctor first. Well, let me tell you. Being the curious sort of person I am, I like to read almost anything. Not easy when one said person is also dyslexic. One of the things i would occassionally do, was I'd sometimes catch a lift home with one of my flatmates. She used to work as a Butt Surgeon (read that as proctologist) receptionist. As she had to type up a heap of medical stuff, she'd often have a medical dictionary sitting on her desk ready to use while she's on the dictaphone typing up letters her boss had dictated. While waiting for the lift home, I'd get bored and decide to read stuff, which consisted of the dictionary. The other thing I'd do, is find something in the medical dictionary and make up silly stories based around the afflictions I'd be reading about. On top of this, I also learnt a bit of Medical jargon as I really AM VERY INTERESTED IN NEUROSURGURY stuff and BRAIN stuff. This means I would often be in the University library reading some of the medical stuff on the brain (or even some of the more laymen type stuff in a normal library). Now I never ever read this stuff with the intention of passing myself off as a neurosurgeon. NEVER EVER! One day, I was invited to go ten pin bowling with my friend Squid and his GF, plus Squids brother and friend who'd just come down from the country, and another guy named Charlie. When Squid introduced me to his bother and friend, he told thme I was studying to become a neurosurgeon!!!! Those who know Squid, know that he often does this sort of thing as a joke. (If you don't believe me, then you probably believe he is a drinks waiter at a crematorium). ANYWAY, the friend BELIEVED SQUID!!!! So this guy (I think I knew him as Greeny, as his last name was Green or something), well, he started asking all sorts of questions regarding Neurosurgury. Being the sort of person who likes to elongate a joke a little, I started talking to the guy and explaining the parts of the brain (hippocampus, frontal lobes etc etc), and using terms like Cerebral Hematosis, Subarachnoid Haemorrhage (British Spelling), and stuff. Thinking I was being rather cleaver. After about an hour, I decided I'd come clean, as this guy was TOTALLY amazed at meeting a REAL LIFE NEUROSURGURY STUDENT!!!! Ai Carumba! So i confessed to him that I was really studying Physics at University (which I was by that stage). Unfortunately, I had been TOO CONVINCING!!! This guy wouldn't believe me! He still believed I was a NEUROSURGURY STUDENT!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! The joke was backfiring!!!! (Thank goodness he didn't have a cerebral hematosis on the spot. He'd think I was a quack!!!) Well, everytime this guy was down from the country, he'd ask how my Neurosurgury course was going. Eventually, he moved to the city, so I was bumping into him often. There was only one thing I could do to get out of the lie. I had to lie again! Two wrongs do make a right ... well, not really, but in this case I was forced to do it, as they guy just wouldn't believe the truth!!! So, I told him I'd dropped out of Neurosurgury school! HE WAS DEVESTATED!!!! ALL THAT MONEY!!!! THE FREE SEX WITH NURSES!!!!! THE BIG HOUSE!!! THE BIG CAR!!! Geees, you'd swear the guy had lost all that himself!!!! Every now and then, I'd still run into the guy and if he'd forgotten and asked about the neurosurgury, I'd remind him I'd dropped out. 'Oh, yeah!' He'd reply glumly, as though he'd lost a million dollars. I am unsure how many people he'd told that he knew a neurosurgeon to, but I sure as anything am glad he never rocked up at my door with a friend bleeding from the head!!!! It'd hurt me in my medulla oblongata!!!!!